Permanent
by Fade Into Color
Summary: After visiting the doctor about his migraines, Spencer learns while what causing them is not psychosomatic, it's something completely else and not something he's ready to face alone. Established Relationship. SLASH Derek/Spencer. Rated for future content.
1. Chapter 1

Spencer was sitting on their couch, trying to think of how this conversation with Derek was going to go: how he was going to be able to share this news.

It had only been a couple weeks since, well, since everything in Boston. Between the funeral and everything else, Spencer found himself surprised he even had any free time to do this.

They had recently found themselves in Oregon with an unsub who they had originally thought was a suspected gang, and ended up being a man who was suffering from schizophrenia, killing a victim every night.

Spencer knew that everyone was watching him through the case, especially Derek. When Derek had spoken to him in the bathroom after how quickly he had left the profile presentation, he wanted everything to come out there.

_"Our unsub's hallucinations aren't fractured like a typical schizophrenic. They're vivid and clear,_

_making me believe that we're missing an important variable. Rather than making crazy conjectures, I think we should be trying to figure out what it was."_

_"Okay, listen to me, I know this is a scary age for you. It's when schizophrenic breaks happen."_

Spencer knew he was right. More than often 29 is the usual age when schizophrenia symptoms appear and with the illness being genetically passed.

He knew that wasn't the case though.

_"Have you talked to anyone about this?"_

_"Emily."_

And that wasn't a complete lie. Spencer had told her about the headaches he had been getting, but didn't tell her to the full extent. She was just the first one he let himself be vulnerable in front of.

_"You just jumped."_

_"I've been having these really intense headaches lately."_

_"Oh, I'm sorry. Does anyone know?_

_"You."_

_"I won't tell anyone."_

_"I know, they'd just worry. You know, not that you're not gonna worry, but they'll just make me feel like a baby, you know?"_

Spencer blinked back the tears as the conversation with Emily faded. He was ready to tell her everything: just let it all spill out. He had seen how she had been acting lately and didn't want to burden her with anything else.

Spencer doesn't regret it. He just wishes she was here for him to finally tell her everything.

Emily wasn't the only one he had lied to about it.

_"What do you need protecting from?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"Are you alright?"_

_"Oh, yeah. I-I pretended to have a headache in order to distract him."_

_"Pretended?"_

_"Yeah, pretended."_

Spencer shook his head slightly. He absolutely hated lying to Hotch, but at that time, Spencer didn't have any idea what was going on.

_"Have you seen a doctor?"_

_"They all say I'm fine."_

_"Then why don't you believe them?"_

And after that conversation, Spencer knew he had to tell someone. Derek had to be first.

After the jet had landed, Derek had offered to drive Penelope home since Esther was in the shop. Spencer had told him that he'd meet him at home and Rossi had dropped him off at the metro station.

The quiet wasn't helping Spencer's headache, and he sat still on the couch as memories kept attacking. He didn't feel himself starting to cry, he didn't remember closing his eyes, and he didn't hear Derek opening the door.

Spencer wasn't aware of anything until he felt the couch dip beside him and suddenly found himself wrapped in Derek's arms. Silently, he wrapped his arms around Derek and cried into his shoulder as he felt Derek rubbing his back.

"Pretty boy, talk to me," Derek whispered into his ear. Spencer shook his head. "You can talk to me, you know that."

"I lied, Derek," Spencer choked out. Derek's hand had moved from his back and was now running his fingers through Spencer's hair.

"About what, Spence?"

"About what the doctors said," Spencer whispered as he tried to pull away from Derek.

"You can tell me," Derek said and let Spencer's head rest on his shoulder.

Spencer swallowed slightly and took a deep breath before he let himself recall the memory and let everything finally come out.

* * *

Spencer found himself impatiently waiting in a room at Saint Sebastian. Before their case in Miami, Spencer had a brain MRI. Lately, he had been having intense migraines. He was sensitive to light, loud noises, and he hardly slept. The migraines became so intense, the pain was waking him up in the middle of the night.

Once they had returned from the case in Miami, Spencer had received a voicemail from the doctor, and had requested the earliest appointment possible.

Doctor Barnes walked in and immediately walked over to the x-ray illuminator, putting up the images and turning on the light.

Spencer looked at the scans and was confused. "So this isn't psychosomatic?" Spencer asked the doctor, his voice sounding both relieved and nervous.

Doctor Barnes gave him a sympathetic look and shook his head.

"What is it then?"

Doctor Barnes pointed to the image on the left, his finger drawing a circle around a spot towards the right frontal lobe of his brain.

"What is it?" Spencer asked again, his voice cracking slightly as he grew more nervous.

"This might be easier if we talk in my office?" Doctor Barnes asked, turning the illuminator off and collecting the MRI images. Spencer licked his lips before nodding and following the doctor out.

Who knew that a few words could turn your entire world upside down. The conversation in Doctor Barnes' office would be a memory he couldn't ever suppress, eidetic memory or not.

"We'd need to do some more tests, but I'm already predicting diagnosis of what looks like glioblastoma," the doctor explained, watching Spencer's face carefully.

Spencer squinted in confusion and quickly went through his brain, trying to connect the word to a definition and bit his lip once the connection was made.

"Glioblastoma is-" Barnes began, but Spencer quickly cut him off.

"It's a brain tumor - one of the more common and aggressive brain tumors when properly diagnosed. More than not they're malignant." His voice shook as he rambled and he tried to ignore the apologetic look on the other man's face. "I don't understand."

Doctor Barnes let out a sigh. "You might've been displaying symptoms without realizing. Besides the headaches, have you experienced any nausea or vomiting?"

Spencer licked his lips and thought back the past few months that he had been having the migraines. His eyes widened when a memory became clear.

_"Oh, again with the dairy?"_

_"I can't help it, I love dairy."_

"Guess it wasn't the dairy," Spencer mumbled to himself as he remembered the times spent in the bathroom on the jet and numerous precincts while out on cases. He looked up and made eye contact with Doctor Barnes before nodding and swallowing slightly.

"Are you sure this is a glioblastoma?"

"Doctor Reid, even though they are rare-"

"There are 2 to 3 positive cases per year," Spencer saw the look the doctor was giving him. "Sorry."

"Like I was saying, they are commonly rare but there are successful tests to help us with a definitive diagnosis," Barnes explained.

"What, uh, what kind of tests?" Spencer asked.

"To get a definitive diagnosis of a suspected GMT, we can either do a craniotomy or a stereotactic biopsy."

"Which one would you recommend?"

"The biopsy is less intrusive, but considering your occupation it also isn't exclusively inpatient. You would be in and out within a day." Barnes remained silent as he watched the young man in front of him think everything over.

"When would you be able to do the biopsy?" Spencer whispered. He felt his leg start shaking up and down, a nervous tick he had discovered about himself since he started getting these migraines.

They had scheduled it for two weeks later, but Spencer had to cancel due to the case in Montana. That had quickly became a common factor as more cases popped up too close to the biopsy dates.

Spencer forced himself through the pain of the continuation and untreated migraines. After everything with Doyle, Spencer had promised himself that he wasn't going to put it off any longer and that he'd just would have to request time off from work if it came to it.

And that's how he got here with Derek. Spencer didn't look at Derek as he finished telling him everything that he had learned from Doctor Barnes, he didn't want to see the disappointment or the pity from a man he looked up to and loved so much.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Derek's voice was rough and odd sounding after the two had sat in a deafening silence.

"I don't know," Spencer began, rubbing a trembling hand over his face. "Scared? Then everything with Emily and I just didn't-"

"Were you planning to do this all on your own? Tell me or anyone?"

Spencer bit his lip and didn't say anything. "I wish I had an answer, but I don't." His felt himself crying again. "I don't know what to do Derek, I still don't."

He let himself be pulled into Derek's side again, letting the arms wrap around his body, relieved that he finally told someone.

"You're not going to be alone with this," Derek said, kissing the top of his head. "You're not alone in this, Pretty Boy."

* * *

Author's Note: I plan to update this every Sunday as possible! All critiques and comments are welcomed!


	2. Chapter 2

That had been a few days ago: now Derek and Spencer found themselves at Saint Sebastian, waiting to be released after Spencer's biopsy.

The procedure and prep for the biopsy made Derek a little worried, especially after seeing the headframe they had attached to Spencer prior to both the MRI and actual procedure. It had been on for several hours, and Derek was proud of how strong Spencer was.

The headframe had posts that were attached to the frame to put pressure on the scalp and head. There were two posts in the front and two in the back. Derek himself felt uncomfortable just looking at it and couldn't even think of how Spencer must've felt, especially with novocaine being the only thing for relief.

Spencer had originally argued that there were cases of novocaine that had traces of opiates, but gave in when the procedure was explained to him.

After the MRI, Spencer was brought into the OR and Derek sat in the surgery waiting room, waiting for some kind of an update.

A half an hour later, Derek had been escorted to Spencer's recovery room and smiled when he learned everything went smoothly. Spencer had woken up an hour or so later, complaining how he was going to need a new haircut to cover up the small, postage-stamp sized spot they had to shave off.

A follow up CT scan was ordered to check the site for any internal bleeding or swelling. Spencer was cleared for both and was discharged with a warning that a headache might occur, but that wasn't anything Spencer wasn't used to.

The drive home had been silent as Spencer had fallen asleep with his head on the window. Derek kept sneaking nervous glances, but he was glad to see the younger man sleeping peacefully, especially after learning that Spencer actually had been awake for the entire procedure, only falling asleep in recovery.

Derek had taken the time to think about everything he had learned about Spencer's diagnosis over the past few days. At first, he had been slightly hurt that Spencer kept putting the explanation off and even lied about it, but he immediately understood after Spencer had explained everything. He couldn't help but smile at the memory of them laying in bed that first night.

* * *

The lights were off and Spencer was curled up slightly on Derek's side, head resting on his chest and arms wrapped around his waist as Derek ran a hand through his hair. Spencer felt relieved now that Derek knew everything and he didn't have to hide it from anymore.

"Thank you," Spencer whispered as he leaned up and kissed Derek on the jaw before returning to his original position. Derek smiled and kissed Spencer's head.

"I'm glad you told me."

"I'm sorry it took so long," Spencer said, and Derek shook his head as he heard Spencer's voice crack.

"You have nothing to be sorry for kid. I'm not going to go away," he smiled as he heard Spencer's breath even out and knew that he had fallen asleep.

"You're not going to be alone again. I'm going to be there, and you can't think that you're alone. I'll be there to hold your hand through it all," Derek whispered as he pulled Spencer closer and fell asleep.

* * *

Pulling into the driveway, Derek turned of the car off before he touched Spencer's shoulder and shook him slightly. "Hey, Spencer. We're home."

Spencer groaned slightly as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair.

"Headache?"

Spencer shook his head. "Surprisingly, no," he turned and gave Derek a smile, the first real one Derek had seen in a long time.

He grinned in response and climbed out of the car as Spencer did the same. Derek unlocked the door and held the door for Spencer, who followed him. He was confused when he saw Spencer standing in the entryway staring into the living room, paling slightly.

Raising an eyebrow, Derek stepped closer. "Everything okay Spe-" Derek trailed off as he followed Spencer's gaze and his eyes widened.

"So, who wants to tell me what they're hiding from the Oracle of Quantico?"

* * *

The two were shocked to see Garcia sitting on their couch petting Clooney. "I knew we shouldn't have given her a key," Spencer mumbled as he stepped in the room and collapsed on the recliner. Derek chuckled slightly and sat on the chair arm next to him, rubbing his shoulder slightly.

"Not that we're not happy to see you, baby girl, but why are you here?"

Garcia was the only one who knew that Derek and Spencer were even Derek and Spencer. It was a little after the anthrax case, but a little before everything with the Reaper that Garcia had come across the two sitting in the park while on a walk with Kevin. The two trusted them with their secret, and it definitely made things easier.

Garcia went to answer until she saw the small bandage covering the stitches from the procedure and gasped. "What happened to 187? Why was he admitted into the hospital?"

Spencer's hand immediately went to cover the bandage and looked away while Derek raised an eyebrow in Penelope's direction.

"How did you know he was in the hospital?"

Penelope looked between the two and bit her lip slightly. "You just told-"

Derek quickly cut her off. "Nuh-uh, mama, don't play that game. How?"

Garcia looked between the two of them again before letting out a sigh. "I did a thing."

"A thing?"

"A thing."

"Is this like the tablet thing?"

Garcia made a slight face at that comment but shook her head. "I may or may not have set up an automatic alert that tells me when anyone of your names are admitted into hospital records."

"Why?" Derek asked.

"It's that even legal?" Spencer mumbled.

Penelope shrugged. "Well, lately it just seems to be the safe bet. After what happened with Hotch after we got back from Canada, when you get shot and well, the other things lately, I'd just rather know where my babies are and if they're okay."

Derek and Spencer looked at each other and then to her: she was relieved when she realized that neither of them were angry. Derek got up and ushered Clooney off the couch before he sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, while Spencer smiled from his seat on the chair.

"So," she began. "You going to tell me why you were in the hospital, boy wonder?"

"You don't already know?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around his stomach, starting to get a little nervous.

"I didn't go that far. I just know you were there. So?"

Derek looked over and made eye contact with Reid. He could tell he was nervous and they hadn't actually talked about telling anyone else. Derek got up and knelt down in front of Spencer, taking his hands in his own and squeezed.

"It's up to you, Pretty Boy," Derek whispered. Spencer felt his eyes tearing up and bit his lip before he nodded.

"You have to do it though, I don't think I can," Spencer told him. Derek gave him a small smile and wiped away the few stray tears that fell from Spencer's eyes.

Garcia watched the two of them getting slightly nervous. She remained silent as Derek stood up and pulled Spencer up with him. Derek hugged Spencer and whispered something in his ear that she wasn't able to make out.

"Guys?"

Hearing Penelope's voice, the two were pulled back to reality and Spencer hid his face in Derek's shoulder as he felt himself being pulled down into his lap. He appreciated the soothing circles that Derek was rubbing on his back as he began to explain everything he knew about Spencer and his current diagnosis.

After he finished, Spencer could hear Garcia crying softly behind him. When he felt another hand on his shoulder, he looked up from Derek's shoulder and turned to see Penelope looking at him, eyes red.

"You're not alone, baby genius. Never think that you are," she told him, squeezing his shoulder slightly. She was surprised when he stood up and pulled her into a hug, his arms wrapped tightly around her and his head resting on her shoulder.

She quickly returned the hug and looked at Derek from over Spencer's shoulder, seeing him tear up slightly. "You're not alone, cause you're here with me." Penelope whispered into his ear, rubbing his back.

* * *

Penelope had reluctantly left a few hours later, after Derek and Spencer promised the three of them could spend time together tomorrow, unless they were called in for a case.

"I feel like I can sleep forever," Spencer mumbled as he crawled into bed and moved as close as he could next to Derek, who was already sitting against the pillows.

Derek smiled as he wrapped an arm around Spencer, pulling him closer so the smaller man was spooned up next to him, head on his shoulder. Derek enjoyed having Spencer this close to him, needing him this close to him.

"Can we talk about a few things?" Derek asked tentatively.

Spencer looked up at him, slightly confused. "What about?"

Derek sighed slightly and shrugged. "I could tell how hard telling Garcia was for you tonight. I want to know what you think about telling the rest of the team."

Spencer immediately looked away and Derek frowned. "Spencer?"

Spencer bit his lip. "I, uh, I haven't really thought about it," he admitted and shrugged. "I don't want to burden them with this after everything-"

"Spencer, you're never a burden," Derek cut him off and ran a hand through his hair. He could see Spencer was getting slightly worked up and knew this was one of the few things that immediately calmed him down.

"I don't want anyone else to know. I don't want to be babied, I don't want to be treated any differently," Spencer mumbled, shaking his head slightly.

"Derek, you know that's what's going to happen. Just look at what happened after I got shot."

Derek sighed and pulled Spencer a little tighter. "It's only because they care, kid. They're family. There's no reason to keep secrets from them."

"I just, I don't think I can yet," Spencer whispered and finally turned to look up at Derek. "It's too soon, too close to everything with Emily. I'll tell them but not yet. And when things-"

"IF things," Derek automatically corrected him, sensing what he was about to say.

Spencer smiled slightly before continuing. "If things get bad, then we'll tell them right away. But not yet."

Derek kissed him and smiled as he pulled away. "Promise?"

Spencer nodded. "I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few weeks, things progressed as normally as they could for the agents working at the BAU. Garcia was definitely starting to spend more time with Derek and Spencer, but that was something they both appreciated.

They hadn't heard anything from Doctor Barnes on the results from Spencer's biopsy and every phone call made all three of them paranoid.

Cases came and went. There were spree killers, stalkers, missing teenagers in North Carolina, even a case that hit a little too close to home: life being somewhat normal was a welcomed thing.

That was until Hotch had called an early morning meeting. Spencer and Derek were the first to arrive and went straight to the conference room as instructed. A little later, Rossi and Seaver arrived, followed by Garcia.

"Where's Hotch?" she asked as she came in the room and took her seat next to Derek.

"Any minute now," Rossi answered.

"I-I, didn't get a file sent to me, did a case go directly to him?"

"Don't know."

Seaver looked at them and was clearly confused. "When's the last time he called a meeting this early?" She asked.

Spencer thought for a second before answering. "Three years, eight months ago."

"And what happened?"

Spencer frowned. "Gideon left."

"Who's leaving?" Garcia asked, shooting a questioning glance over at Spencer, who shook his head slightly.

"Nobody's leaving," Derek told her.

A few minutes later Hotch had walked in and explained everything that was going on. There had been a meeting about budgets and how the Bureau was changing: that included their unit. He explained how they all might receive calls about staying in the unit or being transferred, and even brought up the position in New York for Morgan that was mentioned before, but Derek quickly shot it down, saying he wouldn't accept it. None of them wanted to leave the unit.

Anything about budgets and different positions was quickly forgotten when they were requested to work on a suspected human trafficking ring when two bodies were found in the trunk of a car. SSA Swan, the head of the Domestic Human Trafficking Task Force, came in to work with them specifically.

Their investigations finally led them to the head of the specific ring, the unsub being killed after being shot.

As they all met in the conference room afterwards, Seaver was upset with how many there still were missing. Unfortunately, that was normal.

Derek came in looking tired and Spencer raised an eyebrow. "What happened to you?"

Derek shrugged slightly as he took a seat at the table. "Guy was huge. Seriously."

"You should try working out," Spencer said, smirking slightly.

Derek raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Oh, you've got jokes now?" Spencer grinned in response and nodded. Laughing slightly at the look Derek was giving him.

He felt his stomach rumble slightly and grimaced when he remembered that he hadn't eaten much over the course of the case. "Hey, is anyone-" He was cut off swhen his phone rang. Pulling it out of his pocket, he blanched when he read the caller ID.

Making brief eye contact with Derek, Spencer answered the phone and left the room, making his way to Derek's office. "Doctor Reid," he said, as he closed the door and sat down on the couch.

"Hi Doctor Reid, this is Doctor Barnes," the familiar voice greeted.

"Hi, Doctor. How've you been?" Spencer cleared his throat slightly, already getting nervous.

"I've been alright, Doctor Reid, thanks for asking. Now, I'm sorry that it's taken so long to cal,l but we have the results of your biopsy."

Spencer swallowed slightly and felt his leg start to bounce slightly. "And?"

"Are you free anytime tomorrow to come in? It would be better if we discussed this in person." Spencer could tell by the sound of his voice that this wasn't going to be the best news.

The door to Derek's office opened and Spencer jumped slightly before turning and seeing that it was Derek. "Is it the doctor?" Derek mouthed.

Spencer nodded. "Uh, yeah tomorrow is fine. When would you like me to come in?"

"I have an open appointment at 9am."

"That works for me," Spencer told him. Derek had came and sat down beside him, taking Spencer's hand in his own, squeezing.

"I'll see you then, Doctor Reid. Have a good night." And the call ended.

Spencer put his phone back into his pocket before turning to Derek. "The-they have the results. He can see me tomorrow at 9am." Spencer explained and squeezed Derek's hand back when he felt Derek do it again.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Derek asked.

"Please?" Spencer asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," Derek told him, he pulled Spencer to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his temple. "I'm going to be here no matter what happens."

Spencer took a deep breath and kissed Derek on the cheek. "Thank you."

The two sat there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, both anticipating what would happen tomorrow and how they would go on from there.

* * *

After they had gotten home, Derek had gone to walk Clooney and let him out as Spencer changed and climbed into bed. He had a slight headache and remained on his back with an arm across his eyes to block out any sort of light. He couldn't shut his brain off, and he knew he was going to have difficulty sleeping that night.

He registered the bed dipping next to him, but didn't move. He felt Derek's arms wrapping around him and being pulled towards Derek.

Spencer bit his lip to try to stop himself from releasing the sob he's been holding back since the phone call at the BAU, but it didn't work. He finally turned to face Derek.

"Let it out, Pretty Boy," Derek whispered. "There's no need to hide anything from me." They remained that way for a while, both getting lost in time and each other. After he knew Spencer was asleep, he set the alarm and pulled him a little closer, slowly pulling up the sheet and covering them both. "Everything is temporary, Spencer. Rest your head, we're going to be alright." Derek whispered and tightened his grip on Spencer.

* * *

The morning was hectic: both Spencer and Derek were freaking out. It had taken Derek a while to get out of bed, then a little longer after that to get Spencer out.

He knew Spencer was basically running on autopilot. Often Spencer was pulled into his own mind, trying to figure everything out on the inside before he allowed anything on the outside. Derek helped him the best he could and knew Spencer would come back to himself when he was ready.

They were halfway to Saint Sebastian when that happened.

"I'm scared, Derek," Spencer admitted, his voice cracking as he tried to curl his body up in the passenger seat.

Derek glanced over at him and smiled slightly, moving his right hand to Spencer's thigh and rubbing it comfortingly. "I know, I am too."

Spencer licked his chapped lips and placed his hand on Derek's, squeezing it slightly. "I'm am so glad you're here with me," he whispered as he stared out the window.

"Me too, Pretty Boy," Derek said as he squeezed Spencer's hand back. "Me too."

* * *

One of the worst things in the world is waiting to speak to a doctor. Time moved as slowly as it possibly could and you begin to think of everything that could possibly go wrong as each second passed.

Derek and Spencer were sitting in front of Doctor Barnes' desk in his office, waiting for him to come in the room and share the results of Spencer's biopsy. After the nurse had brought them in, Spencer had instantly grabbed Derek's hand and laced their fingers together, squeezing randomly. Derek had smiled, and every time Spencer squeezed, Derek would squeezed his hand back.

They both jumped as the door opened and turned to see Doctor Barnes stepping into the room. Derek and Spencer both stood and shook hands with the doctor.

"And who might this be?" Barnes asked as he took a seat behind his desk and gestured towards Derek.

"Derek Morgan, I'm Spencer's-" Spencer cut Derek off with a hand squeezed and smiled before looking over at Doctor Barnes.

"He's my better half."

Doctor Barnes smiled at the two. "I wish we could've met under better circumstances Mr. Morgan."

Derek gave him a sad smile and squeezed Spencer's hand. "Me too."

Spencer didn't say anything as silence set in the room and Doctor Barnes cleared his throat before pulling a file from a drawer on his desk and placing it in front of him.

"Now, Doctor Reid, we do have the results of your biopsy scans along with the post-procedure scan images," he began as he opened the file and skimmed through a few pages looking for the one he wanted. "Unfortunately, the results came back with a definite diagnosis of glioblastoma with a WHO-grade level IV."

Spencer didn't say anything as the words passed into his mind and his memory quickly began pulling statistics and other information on everything he had found on this subject since the first tests were done.

He felt himself tear up and clenched his eyes shut as he heard Doctor Barnes explain to Derek the meaning behind the WHO-grade levels. He squeezed Derek's hand as he felt himself leaving his mind.

"Where do we go from here?" Spencer choked out.

"We will start you through palliative therapy. There will be radiation therapy, chemotherapy and surgery," the doctor explained, making sure he wasn't overloading Spencer with too much information at once.

"And what will we do first?" Derek looked over at Spencer and knew from the look that Spencer was compartmentalizing everything for later, not wanting to break down and be vulnerable in public. He squeezed Spencer's hand and turned back to hear the doctor's answer

"I think our best bet is to start with radiation-"

"Isn't the first step of the treatments surgery?" Spencer blurted out.

Doctor Barnes gave Spencer a questioningly look before replying. "Usually, yes, but the steps we take usually matter on the size of the tumor and the patient. So, what we're going to do is begin with radiation, try to reduce the size, and we'll continue from there."

Spencer nodded. "When do I start?"

"I can make you an appointment with Doctor Haq on Monday, and then he can schedule you for what he thinks you need. After your radiation treatments, we'll have more scans ordered and go from there."

After deciding on a time to see the radiologist, Spencer and Derek thanked Doctor Barnes and left. The drive home was almost as quiet as the ride there.

"I think I need to take a sabbatical," Spencer mumbled.

Derek looked over at him confused. "A sabbatical?"

Spencer nodded and turned his head from looking out the window and towards Derek. "The side effects and the timing for the radiation would conflict with work: I don't want to have to take more time off than I need to. After we see the radiologist, I'll talk to Hotch and just tell him I need a break or something."

"You're not going to tell him the truth?" Derek asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Not yet," Spencer whispered and went back to looking out the window. He didn't say anything when he felt Derek's hand on his thigh, but he squeezed his hand in thanks, and he knew they were going to have more to talk about once they got home.

* * *

Their weekend had gone by quickly: it was Sunday night and tomorrow they were going to meet with a radiologist to start the beginning of Spencer's treatment.

It was Sunday night, and the two of them had yet to discuss everything they had learned. Derek knew there was going to be a moment where Spencer just broke down and let everything out: he just wanted to make sure he'd be there when it happened.

After dinner, they had decided to watch Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, but it ended up more as Derek watching the movie with Spencer half-asleep, his head in Derek's lap, listening to the movie as he dozed.

"Derek?" Spencer's tired voice broke through the trance Derek had watching the movie. He smiled down at Spencer when he saw hazel eyes looking at him and began to run a hand through his hair.

"What's up, Pretty Boy?"

"I'm scared about tomorrow and I mean, I'm really scared," Spencer told him and Derek frowned when he his eyes started to tear.

He bent down and kissed Spencer on the cheek and gave him a sad smile. "You're allowed to be, Spencer."

Spencer bit his lip slightly. "I just, I can't stop thinking about the side effects and the statistics and nothing seems just-" Spencer cut himself off and bit his lip.

"Nothing seems what, Spence?" Spencer shook his head and sat up on the couch, but wasn't allowed to move any further as Derek wrapped an arm around his chest pulled him close, resting his head on top of Spencer's.

"You don't know need to hide anything from me, you know," Derek whispered into the top of his head, and he pulled Spencer's head slightly so that they were looking at each other.

"It's just, it's the statistics," he began. "The curse of my eidetic memory is that I know the statistics. 35% of malignant brain tumors live out the rest of the year after diagnosis. 15% live out 5 years, and only 10% live over ten after diagnosis. I don't think I'm in the 10 or 15%," he rambled out, hands shaking slightly as he was blinking back tears.

Derek bit his lip and tightened his hold on Spencer. "You need to ignore the statistics, Spencer."

"I can't," Spencer said, shaking his head.

"You need to, baby boy, you can fight this." Derek stressed.

"I'm not that strong, Derek-" Spencer went to turn away, but Derek grabbed him and kissed him as deeply as he could.

"Pretty Boy, listen to me," he whispered after they broke, his eyes staring straight into Spencer's bloodshot ones. "You've been kidnapped, tortured, drugged, held hostage- more than once, kicked, shot, and you contracted anthrax. You beat all of those, this tumor is nothing. You're Spencer Reid: there is nothing you can't handle."

Spencer didn't say anything and continued to stare at Derek until he wrapped his arms around Derek's neck, kissing him passionately. Derek instantly responded, his hands moving to rest on Spencer's hips.

Once they broke for air, Spencer positioned himself so that he could rest his forehead on Derek's shoulder, and he began to sob.

Derek immediately wrapped his arms around Spencer and held him tight, whispering into his ear, kissing his temple and his cheek. Spencer needed to let go and Derek was going to let him.

* * *

The two ended up falling asleep on the couch that night, woken up by Clooney barking to be let outside the next morning.

Spencer groaned as he sat up. "Derek, tell your dog to shut up."

Derek didn't say anything as he sat up, stretching slightly. He kissed Spencer on the cheek before getting up from the couch and making his way to the back door to let Clooney out.

Spencer smiled slightly as he stood up and made his way to the kitchen, turning on the coffee maker. He stood against the counter and let himself mentally prepare for what today was going to bring.

After the radiologist meeting, which was at 8:30, they didn't need to be into work until 10: Spencer would have to think of a way to explain why he was taking a sabbatical. Hopefully he'd know how long once everything with the radiation is explained.

The two of them quickly ran through their morning routine and were on their way to the radiologist meeting.

"You ready?" Derek asked as he turned off the car. Spencer quirked an eyebrow and looked around, realizing they were in the parking lot. "You okay?" Derek asked when he didn't get any answer out of Spencer.

"Yeah," Spencer said, giving Derek a small smile. "I must have spaced out on the drive."

Derek nodded and the two climbed out of the car, making their way into the office building. After checking in to the front desk, Spencer and Derek took a seat in the waiting room. Spencer's leg started bouncing and Derek instantly put his hand on Spencer's knee, and it stopped.

"I know you're nervous, Spencer," Derek told him, rubbing his hand over Spencer's knee slightly. "Everything's going to be fine."

"I know, I know," Spencer whispered and leaned into Derek, resting his head on Derek's shoulder. Derek chuckled slightly and ran a hand up and down Spencer's back.

"I love you," Spencer whispered and looked up at Derek, who grinned in return and kissed him on the forehead.

"I love you too, Spence."

"Spencer Reid?" A nurse called, as she stepped out into the waiting room.

Spencer sat up and raised his hand to alert her, and they both stood up, Derek walking behind Spencer.

"Hi, Mr. Reid, I'm-"

"It's Doctor," Derek quickly corrected.

The nurse raised an eyebrow and looked at Spencer, looked down at the age listed on his record and back at him. "Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?"

"Not medical, but there are PHD's. Three of them," Spencer explained, no longer put off by people who were surprised to learn about his accomplishments.

The nurse smiled and nodded. "Well, as I was saying, Doctor Reid, my name is Nan and I will be your nurse today, along with the one who will be handling your case with Doctor Haq," she explained.

"Nice to meet you," Spencer said and quickly shook her hand, Derek doing the same.

"Now if you follow me, I'd like to get your vitals and your height/weight before bringing you to the patient room," she explained as she followed her down the hallway to the scale. The nurse recorded his height and weight, took his temperature and checked his blood pressure and oxygen levels. Nurse Nan then led the two to a patient room a couple doors down.

They stepped in, taking the two seats closest to the door and she closed the door behind her, as she stepped in the room and took a seat in the chair opposite Spencer and Derek.

"Now, Doctor Reid, before Doctor Haq talks to you there's just a few questions I have for you and need to talk to you about," Nan explained as she opened Spencer's medical file.

"Are there any allergies we should know about?"

"Opiates," Spencer responded automatically.

"Are you on any medications currently?"

"No."

"Any sudden weight loss? We noticed you're a little underweight for your height."

"He's always been like that," Derek answered for him, laughing slightly when he saw the pout that Spencer gave him.

Nan smiled at the pair and stood up. "That's everything I need for now. Doctor Haq should be in at any minute, and I'll talk to you before you leave."

"Thank you," Derek and Spencer told her, and she nodded to them before she left the room.

Both of them were silent for the first few minutes after Nan had left and Derek turned to Spencer. "You doing okay?" he asked, as he reached over and took Spencer's hand.

"Yeah," Spencer replied, smiling slightly. "A little nervous, kind of wish he would get here already."

Derek squeezed Spencer's hand. "And that's normal."

"I know."

After a couple more minutes, there was a knock at the door and an Indian man with graying hair, wearing black scrubs, walked in carrying Spencer's file.

"Which one of you is Spencer?" he asked as he took the seat that Nan was sitting in earlier.

"I am," Spencer said, raising his hand awkwardly.

"I'm his boyfriend, Derek Morgan," Derek explained.

The man smiled at both of them. "My name's Doctor Haq, it's a pleasure to meet you," he said and shook their hands.

"I would just like to start off that I do have experience with patients diagnosed with glioblastoma before, so hopefully I will be able to answer any questions that you may have," he began. Derek and Spencer nodded.

"I agree with Doctor Barnes that, for you personally, Spencer, radiation is probably the best choice to start off with for you treatment. We'll be able to, hopefully, shrink down the tumor which would make any possible surgery easier," Haq explained.

Derek could see how Spencer instantly paled at the mention of brain surgery and quickly grabbed his hand, squeezing it.

"We're going to do twenty rounds of radiation that focus on the tumor in your right frontal lobe, and our aim is to have it shrink as much as it possibly can. It won't make it ultimately go away, but we can shrink it."

"When would the treatments start?" Derek asked. He could tell by Spencer's behavior that he really didn't know how to voice some questions, and Derek was perfectly fine with asking the general ones they both wanted to know.

"I would suggest starting next Monday. That way it's even and you can do a straight four weeks of it," Doctor Haq explained.

"Are there any side effects?" Spencer whispered out, his voice cracking.

"There are always side effects," Doctor Haq began. "As radiation does kill more than just cancerous cells, the fact that it does damage normal cells is what leads to the side effects."

"What are they? Are there ones that happen during treatment or after treatment?" Derek asked.

Doctor Haq nodded. "There are acute side effects that occur during the time that you receive treatment. They usually depend on the dose of radiation you receive. Usually from the dose Spencer will be receiving is skin irritation mainly on the forehead, and hair loss but, the hair loss is uncommon. The skin irritation may not happen as well, it really depends on the patient.

"After you've completed treatment more commonly people are fatigued for the first week after, skin discoloration."

"Are there any neurological side effects?" Spencer asked, avoiding contact with Haq.

"Your dose is low enough where commonly there are none whatsoever."

Spencer let out a sigh of relief at that. "And what do you recommend for recovery time?"

"That's up to you, as it a lot of the time. It depends on both your strength levels."

"Well, it's just we both work as agents for the Behavior Analysis Unit of the FBI. He was planning on taking a sabbatical for the time he was receiving treatment. He hasn't told our unit chief yet, but he did want a sort of estimated length of time that he could ask for if that possible?" Derek asked for Spencer, who turned to him and mouthed a 'thank you'.

"The treatment is going to be four straight weeks and then I would say about another two weeks for recovery?" Haq suggested looking between the two agents.

Derek looked over to Spencer, who nodded in agreement. "That will be fine."

Doctor Haq smiled. "Unless you have anymore questions, you're free to go. Just make sure you schedule your appointments before you leave."

"Thank you, Doctor Haq." Spencer stood up and shook the man's hand, Derek doing the same.

"I'm glad I can help Doctor Reid," he smiled, and then left the two in the office. After talking to Nurse Nan and scheduling all of his appointments, the two made their way to work.


	4. Chapter 4

"Do you know how long each session is going to take?" Derek asked Spencer, who was looking over the information that Nan had given them.

"Averagely, 10 to 15 minutes," Spencer said as he piled everything together and slipped it into his bag.

Derek nodded. "Basically in-and-out then?"

"Thankfully."

"You okay?"

Spencer shrugged. "As much as I can be right now. This is just making everything seem real and it's getting a little overwhelming," he admitted, turning his head away from Derek.

Derek sighed. "Baby boy, it's going to be fine. You know that."

"All the same."

"I know."

They drove into Quantico and made their way to the parking garage closest to their entrance. "Someone's gotta tell Garcia," Spencer said as Derek parked the car and they made their to the main building.

The two of them showing up to work together never raised any eyebrows, even though they were still hiding their relationship from the rest of the team. Their usual explanation was that 'overprotective Morgan' felt better if he knew Reid was safely getting to and from work.

"I can do it while you're talking to Hotch?" Derek suggested as the two of them stepped into the, thankfully, empty elevator.

"Thank you," Spencer said, smiling.

Derek grinned in response. "How many seconds until we reach our floor?"

"6 if it doesn't stop on 5," Spencer said instantly, smile growing as he realized why Derek was asking.

"Good," Derek whispered as he quickly wrapped an arm around Spencer's waist and pulled him close, kissing him.

They broke away the second the elevator bell dinged and the doors opened to the sixth floor. They both stepped out and waved to one another as Derek made his way to his office, and Spencer into the bullpen of the BAU.

* * *

He was, admittedly, getting lonely sitting there by himself. Sure, Seaver was there, but as proven many times over, she wasn't the best conversationalist when it came to her and Reid.

As he made his way over to his desk, he was surprised to see Rossi sitting on Derek's old one.

"Hi, David," Spencer greeted the man as he walked past him and took a seat at his desk.

"About time you got here," Rossi said as he stood up and walked over to Spencer's desk, leaning against the end.

Spencer raised an eyebrow in confusion as he set his bag on the floor under his desk and turned towards the older profiler. "Am I late?" He asked, biting his lip and looking over at the clock. It was 9:45. The appointment with Doctor Haq hadn't taken that long and they had arrived at Quantico at a reasonable time. There also weren't any calls or texts from Garcia or Hotch about a case.

"No, but there have been some things going on," Rossi explained.

"Things, what kind of things?" Spencer asked.

"We've got a new agent, first of all," Rossi said and nodded his head in the direction of Hotch's door. Spencer was surprised to find it closed.

"And what does that have anything to do with me?"

"Seaver left the unit," Rossi said, avoiding Spencer's question.

"Really?"

"Well, she transferred to SSA Swan's unit."

Spencer nodded. "It did seem like she would fit in better there than here. Now, I still don't know what that has to do with me not being late for work."

Before Rossi could respond, the door to Hotch's office opened and Hotch walked out with a familiar blonde.

"JJ?" Spencer said, looking at her in surprise. Both she and Hotch turned towards Spencer, JJ grinning and even Hotch smiling slightly. Out of his peripheral, he could see Rossi grinning as well.

"Hey Spence!" JJ said, as she made her way down the catwalk and over to Spencer's desk. Spencer stood up automatically and hugged her as soon as she got close enough.

Spencer had seen JJ more often since Emily's passing. As a cover, he said he came over to spend sometime with Henry, but more often than not, he ended up releasing everything to JJ and falling asleep on her couch. He surprised himself when he never revealed his diagnosis to her. Derek had understood, knowing that Spencer didn't want to see him break down, and he knew he needed his time with JJ.

"It's good to see you," he said as they stepped back.

"Told you it was about time you got here," Rossi said, chuckling slightly as he patted Spencer on the shoulder and made his way to his office.

"Wait," Spencer said, his mind instantly making the connection. "You're back?"

JJ grinned and nodded, the two of them hugging again. "I've been taking the profiler classes, so, once I complete those I'll be doing everything with you guys," she explained, as she sat down on the end of Spencer's desk and he sat down in his chair.

"So how've you been? You haven't been over in a couple weeks," JJ asked, as she crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Spencer.

Spencer frowned slightly when he remembered he still needed to talk to Hotch.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked, concerned. She had noticed how fast Spencer had switched emotions.

"Oh yeah, fine. I just really need to Hotch about something," he said, giving her an apologetic look.

She shook her head and smiled. "You're fine. Find me after?" She asked, standing up from his desk.

He nodded and gave her a quick smile as he stood up. "Of course!" He made his way up the catwalk and to Hotch's office.

* * *

Derek dropped his stuff off in his office before making his way to Garcia's. He knocked on the door and waited for a response.

"Office of Unmitigated Superiority, enter mortal!"

Derek laughed as he opened the door and entered the room. "Morning, Baby Girl," he greeted as she turned around, and he closed the door behind him.

"Morning, tiger!" She said as she stood up and hugged Derek. "Where's baby genius?" she asked as she looked past Derek for the other man.

"He's probably in talking to Hotch," he said, taking a deep breath.

"What? Why? Did he get a call from someone? Is he okay? Is it the-" Garcia trailed off and pointed to her head, she couldn't find it in herself to call it a tumor.

Derek sighed. "We talked to a radiologist this morning. Spencer's going to go through a month of radiation therapy and he recommended a two week recovery time," Derek explained.

"Why does he need to talk to Hotch? Is he actually telling him or?"

"He's taking a sabbatical."

"A sabbatical?! Why? He's got to have more than enough vacation time saved up."

Derek shrugged. "We both talked about it but came to the agreement that a sabbatical would just be easier. He was never clear on how he was going to explain it to Hotch but it wouldn't ask as many questions as requesting a six week leave would with answering questions he doesn't want to yet."

Penelope sat back down in her chair and pouted. "If he's not here, how are we going to keep an eye on him?"

"We discussed that too. His appointment are in the morning before work, I'll drive him in and drive him home. He is not to turn off his cell phone or the house phone, keeping them near him at all times no matter where he is in the house. And then there were a few things we wanted to ask you."

"Anything," Garcia blurted out without any hesitation.

Derek grinned. "I know we're going to be called out on a couple of cases-"

"And say no more, angelfish, I'd be more than happy to sleep in your comfy guest room and keep my eye him."

"You're the best, baby girl," Derek said, kissing her cheek.

"Damn right," she said, winking. Derek laughed.

"I'm gonna go see if Spencer's done talking to Hotch. Lunch later?"

"Of course! Send my love to 187!"

"See ya later, mama!"

Spencer took a deep breath before he knocked on Hotch's door. Aaron's head instantly popped up and he looked surprised.

"Something I can help you with, Reid?"

Spencer bit his lip slightly and hesitantly stepped into the room, nodding. "I need to talk to you about something."

Hotch looked at Spencer for a few seconds before nodding. "Close the door and take a seat."

Spencer let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and closed the door behind him before sitting down in the chair.

"Is everything okay?" Hotch asked.

Spencer started to fidget with the sleeves of his cardigan as he tried to figure out the right way to go about explaining this to Hotch without releasing so much information.

"Reid?"

"I wanted to request a sabbatical," Spencer said, hoping that his voice wouldn't betray him.

Hotch raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise. That was something he wouldn't be expecting, most of all from Reid.

"A sabbatical?"

Spencer nodded.

"Reid, you do know with the amount of vacation and PTO you have, you don't need to declare a sabbatical," Hotch explained.

Spencer shrugged. He and Derek had discussed the same thing. "I know, but I rather have those as a backup for any sort of emergency."

"Is everything alright?"

Spencer knew what he needed to say to make sure Hotch understood as much as Spencer wanted him to.

"Remember in Miami when I told you I pretended to have a headache?" Spencer asked. Hotch nodded in response.

"I, I lied," Spencer admitted, stumbling over his words. "I had a migraine, a rather intense migraine, might I add. Sensitive to light, loud noises. I've been getting them on and off for a few days before that case and ever since then they've been steadily getting more intense."

"How so?"

Spencer licked his lips. "Ever since, since Boston, I've noticed them getting slightly worse. They're constant over at least 2 days, I can't focus on our cases, I-, I only read 5 books last week," Spencer said and released a small, awkward laugh. HIs voice cracked as he rambled and he kept his eyes on the ground, avoiding as much eye contact as he could.

Hotch looked at Spencer surprised. He had figured that there were more to the headaches than when he and the others had witnessed them happening. He felt slightly guilty because he sort of had a theory that he might've been using again, but Morgan had been quick to shoot that down.

"Have you seen a doctor?"

Spencer looked up at him briefly before looking away and nodding.

"What did they say?"

"They're not exactly sure."

"What do you mean?"

"The tests have been inconclusive. Some scans showed one thing, others show nothing. Some doctors said I was fine, one said it was psychosomatic which the last doctor I saw shot that idea down," Spencer explained.

Aaron felt slightly relieved at that. He knew how hard and personal the case with the schizophrenic unsub had been on Reid, especially since he was at the age where the symptoms begin to show.

"What did the last doctor say?'

'Time to lie, again!' Spencer thought to himself before responding. "He wanted to a sort of clinical trial, in a sense. There are few tests with MRI and CT scans that have worked for a case close to this before."

Hotch nodded, the sabbatical now making sense to him. "Luckily for you, medical sabbaticals are paid leave," he told Reid, smirking slightly.

Spencer smiled at him in return. "I was wondering if it could start officially next Monday."

"For how long?"

"Six weeks."

"Done," Hotch said without hesitation. "You deserve the rest. Who knows, maybe this is all stress related."

Spencer laughed at that and stood as Hotch came around his desk and clapped him on the shoulder. "If there are any cases this week, you're free to work them from here with Garcia, just in case."

"Thank you, Hotch, I really appreciate it," Spencer said, the relief in his voice genuine.

"No problem." He gave Reid another smile before he watched the younger man walk down the catwalk and make his way over to JJ's new assigned desk.

"What was that about?" He heard a voice ask from behind him. Hotch turned around and saw Dave leaning against his door.

"Reid requested a sabbatical," Hotch said as he walked over to him.

Rossi raised an eyebrow in surprise and looked down into the bullpen at JJ and Reid before looking back at Aaron. "Really?" The disbelief was obvious in his voice.

"Yeah, threw me off right away too."

"Did he explain why?"

Hotch nodded. "Intense migraines. He needs the time off."

"Damn right," Rossi mumbled and stepped back in his office.

* * *

"So, what did you need to talk to Hotch about?" JJ asked Reid as he walked over to her desk. She patted the empty spot on the end and quickly sat down.

"I'm taking a sabbatical," he told her, his voice quiet. He began rubbing the back of his neck when he saw the surprised look on her face.

"Is everything okay?"

"Remember the headaches?" he asked her.

JJ nodded. "Did you finally see a doctor?"

The weeks he had come over, he had mentioned the headaches and how bad they were, but he had never told her if he had seen a doctor or not.

Spencer nodded. "A few, actually. The latest one suggested a clinical trial of sorts."

"And they think it's going to help?"

Spencer shrugged. "I'm hoping. But, it's weird hours and weird side effects. I'm still going to be in town, but I figured the sabbatical would be the easiest, especially a medical one."

JJ nodded in agreement. "How long?"

"Six weeks."

"And you're definitely staying in town?'

"Yeah, why?"'

JJ grinned. "Dinner with 'Unca Spence' has become a part of Henry's routine. It would be a shame for someone to go and screw that up," she teased him.

Spencer grinned in return. "Well we don't want that now, do we?"

* * *

The next few days following had been relatively uneventful. All paperwork, a few consults, but nothing more than that.

Spencer kind of wished he wasn't taking the sabbatical, because he really enjoyed having someone in the bullpen with him. JJ was someone he could actually talk to ,and was completely comfortable around her. He did, however, apologize for abandoning her for six weeks.

It wasn't until Hotch called an early meeting on Friday that things got strange.

Like before, they had gathered in the conference room. JJ was sitting next to Spencer, Derek and Penelope across from them. Hotch and Rossi had yet to show up .

"This type of deja vu sucks," Penelope had complained upon walking into the room. "This isn't a secret "You Better Come Back After Your Sabbatical" Party for Reid is it?" She asked, looking over at Spencer.

"Why would someone want to do that?" Spencer asked innocently as he raised an eyebrow. Derek and JJ were laughing.

"Is this another meeting about the budgets? I don't like those kind of meetings," Garcia asked, worried slightly.

"We'll find out soon, hopefully," Derek said.

"We really need to stop meeting like this," Rossi mumbled as he walked into the conference room and took a seat. "Hotch will be in a minute."

And he did just that. "I really appreciate everyone coming in this early, again." He said as he took a seat at the table.

"What's going on?" JJ asked.

Hotch let out a sigh. "We're being forced to downsize for a couple months."

Everyone looked at the unit chief with surprise and confusion. "What does that mean exactly?" Derek asked.

"Reid will not be the only one taking time off from the unit. I've been requested to be temporarily reassigned," Hotch explained.

"Reassigned to what?" Spencer asked.

"I'm going to be leading an investigative task force in the Middle East for a few months."

"They can do that?" Garcia asked.

"Apparently," Rossi mumbled shaking his head. "What does that mean for the rest of us?"

"Morgan, you will be acting unit chief in my absence," Hotch said, looking over to Derek, who nodded as he understood. "As for cases, since it'll be down to three field agents, we'll be on a slightly different rotation. There will still be cases, just not as often or intense. More than likely there will be multiple consults."

It had taken most of the day for the news that they were about to lose two more team members, even if it was temporary, to really sink in with the team. When the time came to leave, everyone took the time to say goodbye to Hotch, since he wouldn't be in the country for the next few months. It made it easier to tell Reid good luck since he would still be in the area, just not at work.

There were promises of skype calls, letters, and keeping up to date on things, enforced with threats from Garcia, and nobody wanted to cross her on that.

* * *

The drive home between Spencer and Derek was comfortably silent. Spencer was curled up in the passenger seat with his eyes closed, resting his head against the window. Derek figured he might have a headache, considering how quiet Spencer had been.

When they came to a red light, Derek turned to Spencer and took one his hands. "Everything okay?" He asked.

Spencer opened his eyes and lifted his head up from the window, yawning slightly as he looked over at Derek. "Sorry, what?"

Derek smiled and squeezed Spencer's hand. "Just wanted to know how you're doing. You've been quiet since we left the office."

Spencer shrugged. "It's just weird, I guess. I sort of feel bad taking so much time off. If I had known that Hotch was going to be leaving for a while-"

Derek quickly cut him off. "Spencer, right now your health is what's more important. Your job isn't going anywhere and neither are you. The team can handle being a little smaller for now. You'll be back before you know it."

Spencer nodded. "I know. At least you can work on the Doyle case a little easier, right? I could even help from home."

Spencer and Garcia were the only ones who knew that Derek was looking into everything he could find about Ian Doyle. Spencer knew how hard Emily's passing had been for Derek, especially since he was the last one to see her alive.

After the funeral, the three of them had talked about it, and had started collecting as much information as they could. They could easily guess that Hotch might've had somewhat of a suspicion but hadn't said anything on the subject.

"Spencer, I know you want to help with the case, but I want you to take a break."

Spencer groaned. "I know, I know. It's already bad enough you're keeping me from the shooting range," he whined slightly.

That was another thing that Spencer had been personally working on since Boston. Everyone knew how much trouble Spencer had with his gun qualification exam, and was noted to do 'some of his best work under extreme pressure'. He wanted to be able to do his best work when it was needed. So, for at least 10 hours spread over the week, he'd be at the shooting range.

Derek chuckled and shook his head. "You, my little genius, should know better that even if you have headphones on, loud noises don't mix well with headaches."

"If I promise to stay away while I'm getting the actual treatments, if in the recovery time I'm not showing any symptoms, can I go the range for a few hours?"

Derek looked over and sighed when he saw Spencer giving him the puppy dog eyes. "Screw the profile, your best weapon is your eyes."

Spencer grinned. "So, is that a yes?"

Derek laughed. "Yes."


	5. Chapter 5

The weekend passed way too quickly for Spencer. They spent Saturday and Sunday in, just being lazy: cuddling on the couch and random movie marathons.

Spencer wished he could've just frozen that and kept it on repeat, because he'd rather relive those days over and over again than be sitting in the waiting room.

"Everything's going to be okay," Derek kept telling him. And Spencer knew he was right. The fact that he knew that this was getting too close to his brain, his intellect, his shield. Well, he felt like he had every right to be nervous, no matter what the outcome from this may be.

"Doctor Reid?" Both Spencer and Derek's head shot to the door when they heard his name be called. Nurse Nan was standing there, smiling. "If you're ready, you can come back and begin."

Spencer nodded and stood up. Before he could step away, Derek quickly took one of his hands in his and kissed it, before rubbing it as he looked up at Spencer. "I'll be right here when you get out. I'm not going anywhere."

Spencer squeezed his hand before stepping away and followed Nurse Nan to a room where there was he saw a machine similar to that of either an MRI or CT scanner.

"Doctor Reid, take a seat over here and we'll explain the process to you," Nan said, gesturing for Spencer to sit on the machine bed.

"We're going to be fitting you to a head mask. To make sure the radiation is going to be delivered in the same position and area every time, the head mask will allow us to pinpoint the areas and make sure they have the right facial coordinates every time you come in."

Spencer found himself nervous to even say something and nodded his head to signal he understood everything she had said.

"Are you claustrophobic?" Nan asked. Spencer shook his head.

"Then we're going to get going, if that's alright?" Another nod from Reid. A man in blue scrubs walked over to the pair, carrying a sealed package, what Spencer figured was the head mask, in his hand.

"Hi, Doctor Reid. Do you want me to call you Doctor Reid or Spencer?" The man asked him.

"Just Spencer or Reid is fine," he said, voice cracking slightly.

The man smiled at him. "Well, Spencer, my name is PJ and I'm one of the technicians," he explained as he held his hand out to Spencer who shook it in return.

"Now if you could just lie back with your head up here we can get everything going and you'll be out of here soon."

Spencer lowered himself so he was laying on the platform and took a few deep breaths. "Now Spencer, we're going to place the head mask on. If you start to panic or don't feel comfortable, we can take it off, okay?"

Spencer continue to take deep breaths as he nodded. He clenched his eyes shut and waited until he felt a mesh net lowered over the front of his face.

"Doing okay?" He heard PJ ask.

"Yeah, I'm good," Spencer replied, his voice shaking slightly.

"Now we're going to make the mark so we know where to direct the beam for the radiotherapy," PJ continued to explain as Spencer felt slight pressure from a pen being gently poked as the technician made the marks.

"We're all set to start, this will only take a few minutes."

Spencer heard the retreating footsteps and continued to take deep breaths. He kept himself distracted as he mentally recited the periodic table.

After getting through it twice, Spencer heard footsteps followed by PJ's voice. "You're set for the day, Doctor Reid." Spencer felt the mesh mask removed from his face and the machine was lowered to it's default level. He opened his eyes and blinked as the brightness of the lights attacked him, but a few seconds later Nan was by his side helping him sit up.

"Now, Spencer, if you start feeling things that weren't in the literature I gave you last week, you have our emergency number to call. Doctor Haq will be seeing you Wednesday. It's a weekly thing to know how it's progressing," she explained as the two started walking back towards the waiting room.

"You did a great job today, for your first time," she told him, smiling.

Spencer gave her a quick smile in return and ran a hand through his hair. "Thanks."

"We'll see you the same time tomorrow." She opened the door and Spencer spotted Derek standing. "Have a nice day."

"You too," he replied and walked over to Derek.

"Ready to go?" Derek asked as he pulled the car keys out of his pocket. Spencer nodded. "Let's get you home," Derek said, wrapping an arm around Spencer's shoulder as they walked to the car.

* * *

The car ride was silent as Derek could tell Spencer was still trying to calm himself down. Upon arriving home, Derek walked behind Spencer and followed him to the couch, where Spencer plopped down and let out a small moan.

"You okay, Pretty Boy?"

Spencer nodded and rubbed a hand over his face. "It was weird. I have to wear this mask thing, but thankfully it wasn't too uncomfortable."

"It was also incredibly short."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "How long was I in there?"

Derek shrugged. "15 minutes max."

Spencer glanced at the clock and that confirmed it. They left the house at 7:45, arrived at the medical building at 8:10. Nan had gotten him from the waiting room 8:20. Since it was now 5 after 9, it had taken about 15 minutes.

"You should head to work before you're late," Spencer grumbled as he pulled his shoes off and stood up from the couch.

"Spence, even with traffic you know I wouldn't be late," Derek said as he followed Spencer to their bedroom.

"Just with the team being so small at the moment-" he began as he changed into one of Derek's FBI t-shirts and pajama pants.

"That's nothing you need to worry about," Derek said as he sat down on the bed, Spencer taking a seat next to him and resting his head on Derek's shoulder.

Derek turned and kissed the top of Spencer's head as he rubbed his back. "Do you need anything?"

Spencer shook his head. "I'm probably just going to take a nap or watch Doctor Who." He sighed and sat up. "You really should get to work."

Derek sighed. "I really don't want to leave you alone."

"Derek, I'm going to be fine. It's only the first day. If I get the acute symptoms that were mentioned, they don't usually show up until after at least 8 rounds."

"What if we're called out on a case."

"Garcia will come here."

"But-"

"Derek. I'm not going move from this bed except to grab food, water or use the bathroom. And I'll still be here when you get home."

"Can I get you anything before I leave?" Derek asked as he stood up from the bed.

Spencer crawled under the covers as he thought about it. "A kiss?"

Derek grinned. "That is definitely not a problem." He pulled Reid into a kiss and smiled as he pulled away.

"Call me if you need anything or if there's an emergency-"

"Derek!"

"What?"

"Go!"

Derek groaned. "Fine, baby boy. I'll be home around 5." He quickly kissed Spencer on the forehead and made his way out of the house.

Spencer smiled as he watched him leave before closing his eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

Derek felt sort of nervous as he stepped out onto the sixth floor and made his way towards his office. It wasn't that he was now in charge, even though it felt strange with Hotch not actually being there this time. He just wished they could fast forward past all this and get back to whatever normal is for the team.

As he opened his door, he wasn't surprised to find Garcia sitting on his couch, looking worried and waiting for him.

"Morning, angel," Derek said as he stepped into the office and went over his desk, placing his things in the chair.

She smiled as he came to sit next her. "Morning, Derek. How's our baby?"

Derek smiled. "He's good. A little tired, but I'm pretty sure that's from him being up late worried about today."

"Good. 19 more to go," she said, smiling.

"Hopefully they go by fast."

* * *

The rest of the week pretty much went the same as Monday. They'd go to the appointment, Derek would drive Spencer home. Spencer would nag Derek to get to work. Garcia would be in Derek's office waiting for an update.

To keep Derek from calling Spencer every two minutes, he plowed into the Doyle case. Garcia would sometimes work out of his office to make things easier. If Rossi and JJ found it strange, they didn't say anything.

As they were heading home Friday, the four of them had managed to leave all at the same time, JJ turned to the other three, obviously worried about something.

"Have any of you heard from Spence?" She asked.

Rossi shook his head, as did Penelope.

"I talked to him last night, why?" Derek asked.

JJ let out a small sigh of relief that only caused Derek more confusion. "I've been trying to reach him all day to find out how the clinic trial was going but there was no answer. It's also the night he usually comes over to play with Henry for a while, and stays until Will gets home."

Derek felt his stomach drop slightly. "How many times did you try him?"

JJ shrugged. "Once this morning and once after lunch."

Derek took out his phone and dialed the home phone. He was anxious with every ring but he felt relieved when it stopped and he heard a groggy "Hello?"

"Reid?"

"Yeah?"

"Hold on, I'm putting you on speaker," he pushed the button and held the phone in his hand. "Still there?"

"What do you want?" he heard Spencer mumble through the phone. He could see Rossi rolling his eyes and Penelope was giggling slightly.

"You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Why didn't you answer your phone earlier?" JJ asked.

"JJ?"

"Yeah, Spence, it's me. Did you hear me calling your phone earlier?"

"No. My phone's been on silent all day, and I wasn't awake enough to hear it vibrate," Spencer explained.

"Are you feeling alright?" Garcia asked.

"I was asleep until Morgan decided to be an ass and wake me up, but yes. Why?"

"You still coming over tonight?" JJ asked.

"Yeah but that's not until 7:30..."

"I was just checking."

"Go back to sleep, Reid." Rossi said, shaking his head slightly as the elevator doors opened.

"Can do!" And with a click the call ended.

* * *

Derek arrived home and made his way directly to the bedroom. The door was closed and the only light was the blue from the television that flooded out from under the door. Derek turned the knob slightly and walked into the room.

Spencer was awake, glasses on and eyes not looking away from whatever was on. Being quiet as he could be, he walked over to Spencer and sat down beside him. "What are we watching?"

Spencer jumped slightly and turned toward Derek before smacking his shoulder. "Dammit, Derek, don't do that."

Derek laughed slightly as Spencer unconsciously started moving himself closer. "Sorry, sorry," he said, leaning over and kissing Spencer.

"So, how was today?"

Spencer glared at him slightly. "Peachy until you woke me up."

"JJ's fault."

"Yeah, because I believe that."

"It's the truth."

"I had a small headache around noon," Spencer told him. "That's why I was asleep."

"Is it gone now?"

Spencer nodded.

"Good," Derek said, as he wrapped his arms around Spencer's waist, pulling him into his lap and kissing him on the cheek.

"Do you think you'll be sleeping at JJ's tonight?" Derek asked as Spencer got changed.

Spencer shrugged as he pulled a long sleeve shirt on. "I don't usually plan it."

"I know, but I kind of want you all to myself this weekend," Derek said as he stepped over to Reid and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"I'll come home tonight, don't worry," Spencer said, and kissed him on the jaw before leaving the room to put his shoes on.

Derek held the door for him as he saw the taxi pull up. Derek would've given Spencer a ride over to JJ's, but she still didn't know they were together.

"I'll be home before 11," Spencer said as he kissed Derek.

"You better be," Derek mumbled as he pulled away, watching as Spencer left.

"Spence, you didn't need to take a cab, I would've picked you up," JJ told him as he walked into the room carrying a smiling Henry.

"It's fine, Jayje," Spencer told her.

"But with your treatment-"

Spencer cut her off by shaking his head. "I had a headache when I got home and wanted to sleep."

"Are they getting better?" she asked as she began to set the table. Spencer followed her and put Henry in his high chair before taking the seat adjacent to it.

"Yeah," he admitted. "They're less frequent right now."

"Good. We need you back in tip top shape at work," JJ smiled as she brought the food out.

"How is work going?" Spencer asked as he began eating, JJ feeding Henry.

"It's strange without you or Hotch. Well, it happened before with, well, you know," Spencer nodded. "Then there's the lack of cases and tons of paperwork."

"Well, I'll be back soon, and so will Hotch."

"That's definitely something we're all looking forward to."

They ended the night short as Spencer found another slight headache coming on. He had called for a taxi as JJ was cleaning up and Spencer had told Henry a bedtime story before he fell asleep.

"Just let me drive you home, Spence. Please?" JJ begged.

Spencer shook his head. "I already called the taxi, JJ. I feel better that way."

JJ sighed in defeat and hugged him as they saw the cab pulling up. "Don't be a stranger, Spence."

"Wasn't planning on it."

* * *

When Spencer walked in, he saw Derek laying on the couch. "I'm home!" He called out as he took his shoes off and went to sit next to Derek on the couch, who had sat up after hearing Spencer.

"Good night with JJ?" he asked.

Spencer nodded as he leaned against Derek and closed his eyes. "Tired though," he whispered.

"You okay?"

Spencer nodded again. "Small headache, nothing I'm not used to."

"Then how about we head to bed," Derek suggested and he laughed when Spencer let out a frustrated groan. "I don't want to move."

"I can carry you."

"I'm okay with that." Derek laughed and easily lifted him up, carrying him to the bedroom. They changed and crawled into bed. Spencer was up against Derek's side with his head resting on Derek's chest, just the way Derek liked it.

Besides the small headache here or there, as the radiation treatments continued, Spencer didn't show any signs of the symptoms. Before they knew it, Spencer and Derek found themselves sitting in a patient room, waiting for Doctor Haq after Spencer's last treatment.

"I am so glad this part is over," Spencer mumbled. Derek smiled and ruffled his hair.

The door opened and Doctor Haq walked in smiling and shook their hands. "So, now that your treatment is over, we take the next step."

"Which is?" Derek asked.

"We won't see any change from the radiation until at least a month and a half in. After that we'll order CT scans and MRI's. After that, I'll ask Doctor Barnes on how he'd like to continue based on the results."

"So, no scans for at least a month?"

Dr. Haq nodded. "That's to ensure enough time has passed to see a change in the size. So, we'll call you to schedule tests in about a month and half. Congratulations on finishing this, Doctor Reid."

Spencer smiled as he and Derek stood up and shook the radiologist's hand. "Thank you for everything you've done. See you in a few weeks."


	6. Chapter 6

Derek, Penelope and Spencer celebrated the end of his radiation the weekend after with good company: junk food and movies.

"You going to come off your sabbatical early?" Derek asked. This wasn't something that he and Spencer had discussed.

Spencer shrugged. "I might. I know I have two weeks left but I figured unless I show any of the after treatment symptoms by Friday, then I don't see why I can't come off it early."

"Makes sense to me," Garcia said, grinning. "I miss seeing you at work, baby genius."

"It would be nice to know I can keep an eye on you," Derek said, laughing at the glare Spencer was giving him.

* * *

Spencer's first week of post treatment was long. Each morning when he got up, Derek would ask how he was feeling, they ate breakfast and then Derek would drop Spencer off at the shooting range until lunch. Spencer wasn't experiencing any symptoms, something he was definitely grateful for.

"I put in the paperwork for the end of my sabbatical," he told Derek when he got home on Friday.

"So, you're definitely feeling up to work?" Derek asked.

"Absolutely. I can't wait to get back."

"It'll be good for things to be a little normal again."

The weekend passed by quickly and Spencer found himself slightly nervous to go back to work on Monday. He hadn't told Rossi or JJ that he had been returning.

As Spencer walked in to the bullpen, he could see Rossi and JJ sitting in the break area with Garcia, looking over the morning's paper. Deciding quickly, he walked right by them and made his way to his desk.

"Spence?" He smiled as he sat down at his desk and turned towards JJ, who was staring at him.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she got up and made her way over to his desk, Rossi and Garcia following behind her. Spencer shared a quick look with Garcia before he replied.

"I work here?" He had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop him from laughing at the looks JJ and Rossi were giving him.

"Hey, Pretty Boy!" Derek said as he walked into the bullpen, making his way to Spencer's desk.

"Hey, Morgan," Spencer mumbled out as he turned from the others and grabbed at the stack of files in his inbox. "Saved your files for me, I see."

Derek grinned. "Didn't want you slacking with all that time off."

"Wait, you're back?" Spencer turned back at Rossi's question and nodded.

"Took you long enough," Spencer said smirking.

Rossi laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "Good to see you back, Reid."

"Good to see you back, junior g-man," Penelope winked at Spencer as she hugged him quickly, before making her way out of the bullpen. "Call me if you need me!"

"Surprise?" Spencer said to JJ. JJ stared at him for a few seconds before laughing and smacking Reid playfully on the shoulder.

"Yeah, surprise. So, you're really back?"

Spencer nodded. "I handed in my paperwork to Strauss on Friday."

"And you've been feeling alright?"

Spencer shrugged. "Small headaches here and there, but those are to be expected," he told her, honestly.

JJ smiled and hugged him. "Welcome back, it's been lonely here without you."

* * *

The following weeks fell into a routine. In only a few weeks they had managed to take on more than fifteen cases.

Derek definitely felt better about Spencer being at work where he could keep his eye on him. There were times where he caught him rubbing his eyes or he was a few seconds slower when reading something. He didn't press Spencer on the issue, trusting that the younger man would come to him if it wasn't something he was incredibly worried about.

Doctor Haq had called Spencer about a follow up appointment but didn't want to order any scans yet. Unfortunately for Derek, it could only be scheduled during the workday and it would've seemed a little strange with both Derek and Spencer taking the afternoon off.

Derek had let himself be talked into letting Spencer take a cab that day and hid himself in his office so he could keep himself distracted and not trying to call Spencer every few minutes.

Luckily, Garcia decided to help him out with that and the two continued to work on the Doyle case.

"So, how's he been doing?" Garcia asked as the two took a short break. They had been consulting on the contacts that Emily would have had working with her in order to keep Declan safe.

Derek went to answer her when he saw JJ in the doorway.

"Have you guys seen Spence?" She asked.

"He's at the firing range," Penelope responded. It had been the cover all of them had agreed on until Spencer was ready to share the news.

"Again?"

"Ever since Prentiss died he-" She trailed off. JJ looked sort of annoyed, but there wasn't anything they could do about that.

JJ then asked if she could help out with the case Morgan and Garcia were looking at but they quickly turned her away, telling her they'd ask if they needed it.

"Why did she look angry?" Penelope asked.

Derek sighed. "Spencer has cancelled on her a few times because of the small headaches he's been having. They're not as intense as they were before and they're less frequent, but it's better for him if he just sleeps them off."

After seeing the look on Derek's face, Garcia decided to switch topics. "Shouldn't we tell JJ about the case?"

Derek shook his head. "This has been a long shot for six months, why get her hopes up?"

"What about Hotch?"

"He knows I'm doing this."

"He does?" She asked surprised.

"Not technically, but he knows I'm not about to let Doyle roam free."

"Does he know we're looking for Declan?"

"I figured I'd just call him when I have something to report."

Garcia agreed and they continued to look into everything they could to find out where Declan was. After remembering some of Emily's contacts, they ended up finding him at a boarding school in Virginia.

Deciding to take surveillance tomorrow, the two called it a night.

"Get home to our boy," Garcia said as the two of them stood up and made their way to the parking garage. "And call me if there is anything wrong."

"You got it, mama."

* * *

When Derek got home, he smiled when he saw Spencer curled up on the couch. His glasses were still on and one of his hands was laying on top of Clooney, who was sleeping on the floor next to the couch.

He quietly made his way over to the couch and kissed Spencer on the forehead. "Hey, baby boy," he whispered as he took a seat on the armrest behind Spencer's head and smiled as Spencer slowly woke up.

"Hi," Spencer mumbled as he sat up.

"How did the appointment go?" Derek asked as he moved to sit on the couch next to Spencer.

"Fine. I told him about the headaches and he said that was normal. I just need to contact them if they get worse. He extended the wait time for the follow up scans."

"Why?"

"He thinks the headaches are a sign that the tumor isn't shrinking as quickly as they expected but it's still shrinking," Spencer explained, smiling at Derek. "How's the case going?"

"We think we found Declan."

"Really? Where?"

"Boarding school in Virginia. I'm going to be setting up surveillance."

"Glad to hear the case is progressing. Need my help for anything?"

Derek smiled and shook his head. "Not until we find Doyle. We're good for now."

* * *

That's how they continued. Derek had surveillance on Declan's boarding school and was still looking for signs of Doyle showing up.

Spencer's headaches faded and no other symptoms were showing. They both knew once the follow up scans were ordered and taken that this small bliss of symptom free time will disappear but for now they were going to enjoy it.

That's when a camera picked up Doyle driving around in the area where they had found Declan.

"Can you gather the rest of the team?" Derek had asked Garcia after she had shown him the security footage of Doyle.

"We're going to bring them in?"

Derek nodded. "Get them in the conference room, I'm going to call Hotch." Garcia nodded and left the room, making her way to the bullpen. Derek pulled out his phone and took a deep breath before calling Hotch.

"Hotchner," he heard from the other line.

"Hey, it's me. How's it going out there?"

"You know, long days. Territorial issues to work out, nothing surprising. How's everything there?"

"Hotch, we found Declan Doyle."

"What?"

"Listen, I knew that finding the kid was the only way I could find Doyle, Hotch. I know what you're thinking man.."

"Is Declan safe?"

"Yeah, he is for now. I've had surveillance at his house and school for a few weeks."

"Morgan, I didn't authorize this."

"I know you didn't, Hotch, but listen to me. I think Doyle might've found Declan too."

"Alright, I'm coming back."

"Do you want me to wait?"

"Morgan, it could be a trap. You make sure you have eyes on Doyle."

"And if it is him?"

"Then you take the shot."

"I was serious about the meetings no one knows about," Rossi said as he sat down at the table. "Any idea what this one's about?"

JJ shook her head. "Derek called it, that's all I know."

A few seconds later, Morgan walked into the conference room, Garcia behind him carrying a small stack of files. He quickly handed them out as Garcia brought up the security image of Doyle on the screen.

"Why are we discussing Doyle?" Rossi asked as he opened his folder.

"I've been collecting information for the past few months. We were mostly at a dead end since we didn't have that much information. A few weeks ago, we managed to find out where Prentiss was keeping Declan and the nanny," Derek explained as Garcia brought up scans of the IDs for the nanny and Declan.

"We've been keeping them under surveillance but as you can see, we think Doyle has found Declan as well."

"Is this the case you two have been looking at?" JJ asked.

"Yes, but we didn't mention it to anyone else, in case we weren't able to follow through with anything."

"Have you talked to Hotch about this?" Rossi asked.

"Just got off the phone with him. He's actually on his way back," Derek told them.

"You're quiet," JJ said as she nudged Spencer with her elbow. He looked at her briefly and shrugged.

"You okay?" She asked.

Spencer nodded but didn't say anything. Derek sent him a worried glance.

"What do we do from here?" Rossi asked.

"I want you and Reid to go to the boarding school and see if you can talk to the headmaster."

"Address should already be on your phones," Garcia told them.

"JJ, we think we found Doyle's address. You and I will head downtown later tonight since we suspect that he's still driving around in Stafford County."

"Reid, meet me at my car in 20?" Rossi asked. Spencer looked up from his file and nodded.

The others left to get ready, leaving Derek and Spencer alone in the conference room. Derek walked over Reid and rubbed his shoulder. "Everything okay?"

Spencer rubbed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah. I just have a small headache. It's been a while so it kind of threw me off," he explained, giving Derek a reassuring smile.

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

Derek nodded and kissed the top of Spencer's head. "I'll see you when you get back."

* * *

The drive to Stafford County was silent. Spencer spent most of it glancing out the window.

"Are you okay?" Rossi asked, his voice making Spencer jump.

"What? Sorry," Spencer said, looking over at the older agent. Rossi raised an eyebrow.

"You've been quiet lately, which is very strange for you. Is everything okay with your mom?"

"Yeah, she's fine. I'm fine," Spencer said, smiling slightly.

"And your headaches?"

Spencer sent him a confused glance. "I never told you about those."

Rossi shrugged. "Like Hotch could keep from me why 'boy wonder' was going on a sabbatical."

"They're actually mostly gone. The sabbatical was for a clinical trial for migraines. It worked. mostly. The headaches have been less frequent. I woke up with one this morning, just wishing it would go away."

Rossi didn't say anything for a few minutes as he thought over Spencer's answer. He could tell that the kid was hiding something, but he didn't want to press on the issue.

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

Spencer grinned and nodded before turning his attention to the map in his lap. "We're only a few miles from the school."

"Hopefully we can end all this for good," Rossi mumbled and Spencer nodded as they pulled up to the boarding school.

* * *

Derek and JJ were in a surveillance van: them and a SWAT team keeping their eyes on Doyle's apartment.

"You've got any movement?" Derek asked the sniper on the roof.

"Negative. No movements detected."

Derek looked from the street to the surveillance cameras. He could JJ's eye on him and he turned towards her.

"That's all Hotch said? 'Take the shot?'"

Before he could respond, JJ's phone started ringing. She looked at the ID before answering. "Hey, Spence."

"We can't find him."

"Wha-what do you mean you can't find him?"

"The headmaster said Declan got sick and went back home."

"Oh, just-, okay. Just call for backup and get to the house."

"We're already here."

"You see the agents?"

"Their car is out front."

"The lights are off," she could hear Rossi say in the background.

"I'll call you back."

"What? No, Reid!" she sighed as she hung up the phone and put it back in her pocket. "What is up with him lately?" she mumbled.

Derek looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"Ever since he's gotten back from his sabbatical, he seems, off."

"It could be side effects from his treatment," Derek suggested. JJ shrugged in response and they looked back towards the cameras.

After searching the house, finding the two dead agents and the nanny, they came up with possible theories and figured out what to report while Rossi cleared the rest of the house as Spencer called JJ.

"He's not here, he's gone." he told her.

"Spence, what do you mean he's gone?"

"Both the agents are dead, so is the nanny. The place is completely empty, Declan isn't here."

He heard her sigh on the other end. "We've got Doyle here. Get Rossi and get back here," she told him before hanging up.

Rossi walked up to Reid, ending a call with Garcia. "She didn't see a team on the footage."

"This was well organized. One could've cut the camera while one started in here."

"So, they cut off the power, but no signs of forced entry. So, how do you overpower two armed agents?"

"A male and a female. Maybe whoever did this posed as the next shift?"

"Makes sense, everything about them seems sufficient."

"Except they took time to shove her in the closet."

"So, it's personal and professional."

Investigating the house one more time, they found some clothes that seemed out of place. After deciding it must've belonged to a team that might've been working for Doyle, they left the house and made their way back to Quantico.

* * *

When they arrived back at Quantico, Spencer met Garcia in the conference room while Rossi went to the interrogation rooms to see Morgan and JJ.

"Hey, sugar shack," Garcia as he walked in. "How're you doing?"

Spencer smiled. "I'm alright. My headache is gone." He took a seat at the table. "Rossi said you had footage of the guy who cut the camera. Could you bring it up here?"

"Yeah, but it's short," she said as she pushed a few buttons on the remote and brought the file up.

"I know," he said as he stood and stood closer to the screen, squinting. "I know I should've worn my glasses," he mumbled and rubbed one his eyes. "Could you freeze it on the frame before he cuts it?"

Garcia nodded and the frame popped up. Spencer squinted as he looked at his, cataloging the face in his memory. "Thanks!"

"You sure you're okay?" Garcia asked as she closed some windows on the screen and watched as Spencer sat against the table.

"Yeah," he told her, shrugging. "Just been a long day."

"You'd better not be lying to me."

"I promise."

She looked at him for a few more seconds and smiled, kissing him on the forehead. He laughed as she rubbed away the mark from her lipstick.

They both turned when they heard someone entering the room and were surprised to see Hotch.

"Welcome back, sir!" Garcia said, smiling at the unit chief. "I like the scruff."

"Thank you," he said, giving her a quick smile. "Reid, how're you feeling?"

Spencer smiled. "Better. It's good to have you back."

"Thanks," he stepped closer to the evidence boards. "Do you have any more information?"

"Right here," Garcia said as she picked a file up from the table and handed it to Hotch. "There's a top 10 list of Doyle's enemies on there. The man on the tape I caught may be Richard Gerace since he's one of the few on the list who are currently in the states."

"Thank you," Hotch said, looking through the file. He stopped when his phone beeped. He looked at the message and frowned. "I need to go find JJ." And he left the room.

* * *

Hotch and Rossi watched from behind the two way mirror as Derek asked Doyle about Gerace.

Hotch turned as he saw JJ walk in the room.

"Welcome back, sir."

Derek walked out of the room and looked at the three and shook his head. "I don't know what to do from here," he said, looking to Hotch for some sort of direction.

"Rossi and Morgan, regroup in the conference room. Bring Garcia and Reid up to speed," he watched the two men nod and leave before he turned to JJ.

"What would you like me to do?" She asked.

"It's time."

"Why? We might not need her."

"Declan tried to make a call, she's on her way."

"Alright. I'll go wait with the others in the conference room."

Spencer and Penelope were talking when they saw Rossi, Derek, and JJ walking down the catwalk to the conference room.

"You getting anywhere with Doyle?" Spencer asked.

Derek sighed. "Doyle doesn't think Gerace has that guts to take him on."

"That's definitely Gerace on the tape-" Garcia was cut off as Hotch entered the room from the otherside.

"Everybody, have a seat."

"Why, what's going on?" Derek asked as the team sat down. "Everything all right?"

Hotch waited until they were all sitting. He crossed his arms and looked at them all. "Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle."

He watched as different emotions were evident on each of the agent's faces and he began to feel guilty as he continued the story.

"But the doctors were able to stabilize her and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under covert exfiltration. Her identity was strictly need-to-know. She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to, for her security."

The room remained quiet for a few minutes as everyone slowly overcame the shock. "She, she's alive?" Penelope asked.

"But we buried her," Spencer said, the hurt that could be heard in his voice made Hotch wince.

"As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has issues, they should be directed towards me," Aaron told them.

"Any issues," Derek said, looking at Hotch with complete disbelief. The memory of holding Emily in his arms when she was 'dying'. Meeting a crying Spencer at home after they had found out and the fact that Spencer was hiding a brain tumor from the team because he didn't want to burden them with something so close to Emily's 'death' "Yeah, I've got issues-" before he could finish, he saw everyone turning around.

And there standing in the doorway, was a living, seemingly healthy, Emily Prentiss.


	7. Chapter 7

After the initial shock, everyone was quick to give her hugs. Well, most of them. Derek watched with hurt eyes as Garcia and Rossi, hugged her and watched as Reid was completely hesitant, before she pulled him in. He was even more pissed now, thinking what could possibly be going through Spencer's mind at the moment.

Derek and Spencer made brief eye contact, but from it, Derek knew Spencer wanted to, _needed _to talk to him after all of this was over.

"I am so sorry, I really am. Not a day went by that I didn't want to. Really, I," she trailed off as she stepped away from hugging Spencer and moved to Derek. She pulled away and walked over to the evidence boards.

"You didn't deserve that, and I'm so sorry. There is so much I want to tell you guys, and, and I will, I promise, but right now, I really need to know what's going on with Declan."

Derek watched Spencer's face, automatically knowing he was already beginning to compartmentalize all the feelings. He was right and held to the fact that they needed to get all this stuff with Doyle done before he would even allow himself to feel something else.

"Emily, was there another man living at that house?" Spencer asked.

She nodded. "Yes, my friend, Tom Koehler. He was raising Declan as his own."

"Where is he?" JJ asked.

"I never saw him go in or out of that house," Garcia added.

"Uh, he's on assignment overseas," Emily explained.

"But he's all right?"

"Yes, he's on his way back now. He got a call from Declan, called me, and when I landed, Hotch told me you had Doyle in custody."

"And, because of Tom's line of work, that's why you enrolled Declan in boarding school," Hotch said.

"I made sure that he, Louise, and I were the only ones allowed to take him off campus."

"Louise took him home last night because he was sick," Spencer explained. "Food poisoning," Hotch added.

"Yeah, a few of the kids had it, apparently, so whoever did this got to him on campus. They knew they only had one chance."

"Current suspect is Richard Gerace. He's the most recent arrival into the States. We've been tracking his progress through the city but we came up empty," JJ explained.

"We know it was him because of the scar," Garcia mentioned.

"That doesn't make any sense. Gerace gave up on Doyle a long time ago."

"He said you were the only one who knew Gerace," Rossi told her.

"Which is why I'm pretty sure he doesn't have the balls to pull this off. There was no forced entry at the house?"

Derek shook his head. "I had two agents working security."

"We think Gerace and his partner posed as the next shift, and one of the agents was a woman," Spencer explained.

"She's the alpha."

"So we're looking for a woman who's getting back at Doyle."

"And our suspect list just got a whole lot longer."

* * *

Garcia, Emily, and JJ had left to go to Garcia's office, to compile a list of woman that Doyle had relationships with.

"Doyle had relations with all these ladies?" Penelope asked as they went through all the possible candidates.

"Most," Emily replied.

"Wow," Garcia whispered as she continued to make the list.

"Hey, can you shoot these into the round table room for me?" Emily asked.

Penelope smiled. "Anything you say, Visitor Prentiss."

Emily laughed as JJ and she left, making their way back to the conference room.

"So, you're actually back?" Emily asked as they left Garcia's office.

JJ nodded. "They've been looking for your replacement, and Rossi called me."

"That's great! How's Will with all the long hours again?"

JJ let out a sigh. "Long story."

"I haven't seen Ashley," Emily said, knowing that it would be a good idea to change the subject.

"Oh, well she transferred to Andi Swann's unit."

"Good for her." There was an awkward pause between the two of them before Emily decided to ask the question she'd been wanting. "So, uh, how angry is the team?"

"They're in shock."

"I'm mostly worried about Morgan and Reid," Emily admitted. "I feel so horrible over everything that happened with Morgan and then, Reid had been suffering from those headaches, and I know this isn't going to help."

"He actually took a sabbatical to participate in a clinical trial for them," JJ explained.

"Really? And did it work?"

JJ shrugged. "From what I've seen."

"I thought you two were close?"

"We are, it's just, he's been acting weird lately," JJ responded shortly, not really wanting to discuss the issue further.

Emily stopped and turned to JJ. "Thank you."

"It's really good to see you."

* * *

"Reid, can I talk to you real quick?" Derek asked after the three women had left to Garcia's office. Spencer looked up from the file he had been reading and nodded, following Derek out of the room and to his office.

"What did you want to talk about?" Spencer asked after Derek closed the door.

Derek didn't say anything as he pulled Spencer into hug. Spencer didn't react right away but Derek felt himself smile when he Spencer's arms wrapped around him and Spencer shoved his face into Derek's shoulder.

They stood their for a couple of minutes, taking advantage of the few spare minutes they had.

"Thank you," Spencer mumbled into Derek's shoulder before the two stepped apart.

Derek kissed Spencer, loving the feel of Spencer's soft lips against his own. "We're going to talk when this is all over, okay?" Derek asked after he pulled away.

Spencer didn't say anything and nodded, quickly kissing Derek again. "That should hold me over for a few more hours," he mumbled as rested his head against Derek's shoulder for a few seconds.

"We should probably get back," Derek said reluctantly. Spencer nodded and the two returned to the conference room, where JJ and Emily had returned with more information for them.

* * *

Emily had brought up the list that Garcia had compiled, explaining that they were all the possible candidates that had probably crossed paths with Gerace.

They had profiled that whoever was working with Gerace had showed rage towards Declan's nanny, as the nanny had been the one person with Declan since he was born, which could represent a caregiver: even a mother figure in the alpha-females eyes.

After Hotch had asked who Declan's mother was, Emily only knew Doyle had told her she was dead.

Deciding that Emily could be the only person that Doyle would explain the story of Declan's mother to, they agreed that she would be the next person to interrogate him.

The shock from Doyle had been predicted but he quickly played it off. Emily presented him the images of the women, ordering him to point out which one had been Declan's mother.

He pointed to a woman named Chloe Donaghy, but he had insisted she had nothing to do with any of this, since Doyle said he tried to kill her for trying to kill Declan before he was even born.

Doyle then explained how the people working with her were just being used until she was done with them, getting rid of them once she had what she wanted.

While Emily was talking to Doyle, the rest of the team were in the conference room and had looked at the security footage on the date of Declan's abduction from his boarding school. The woman had just walked into the school carrying a tray of tainted cupcakes.

They looked through Donaghy's police records and had been shocked with everything she had done. They were unsure of her reasons for taking Declan, having profiled that she wasn't the mothering type. Hotch had then pointed out that it wasn't for love, figuring this would be her best way to get back at Ian Doyle: revenge for the torture that he put her through. That was then confirmed with everything Emily had learned from Doyle, along with the fact that she and Gerace were working together since he had the kind of money that Chloe was after.

Emily had gotten a list of people who had that kind of money, and anyone who wanted to kill him, in hopes of finding the team that had take Declan.

Garcia ran names and found a man who was in a family feud between his family, the McDermott's, and the Doyles that went back. Doyle had killed Lachlan McDermott's older brother. McDermott owned an 'import company', which shipped internationally, and it was obvious that he was the the person in the team.

After finding that he owned a warehouse that was going to be torn down in Baltimore, most of the team had headed to the harbor, leaving Emily and Reid at Quantico.

Knowing they had little time before the team reached Baltimore, Emily wanted to take advantage of the alone time she now had with Reid.

After the team had left, Garcia returned to her office, and Emily and Spencer remained in the conference room in an awkward silence.

Emily, who had been looking at the evidence board, turned towards Reid, who was still sitting at the round table, head resting on one his hands he had propped on the table and looking at the file in front of him with disinterest.

"Reid, can I talk to you?" Emily asked as she stepped away from the board and took a seat next to Spencer.

Spencer didn't respond. There wasn't any acknowledgement that he had heard her and he continued staring at the file in front of him.

"Reid? Did you hear me?" She frowned as Spencer didn't respond. Slightly worried, she leaned forward and put her on hand Spencer's arm that was resting on the table. "Reid?"

He jumped slightly and looked around. "Forgot where I was for a moment," he mumbled.

"You didn't hear me calling your name?" Emily asked him. Spencer shook his head. "Were you asleep?"

"No."

"Are you okay?"

"Fine," he said, raising an eyebrow. "Why?"

"You were unresponsive for almost a minute," she explained. She watched as he paled slightly. "Reid?"

"I, uh. I think-"

"You think what?" Emily asked, growing slightly more concerned.

"I think I just had a seizure," he whispered. "I'm fine though," he said quickly, before Emily even had the chance to say something. "It's a side effect from the treatment I got for my headaches," he quickly explained, hoping she wouldn't see through the lie.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Don't tell anyone, okay?" he pleaded.

"You know I won't," she told him, giving him a small smile.

"They'll worry, I know you will, but still."

Emily nodded and her smile grew at the familiar words. Emily went to something but was cut off when Reid's phone rang.

"Yeah?"

"Gerace's dead. We're pretty sure Chloe killed him figuring that she didn't need him anymore to handle Declan. We need to talk to Doyle."

Spencer hung up and shared the news with Emily before he stood up and left the room, Emily following behind him.

* * *

Emily stayed behind as she watched Spencer walk into the interrogation room that was holding Doyle.

"Your ex is working with Lachlan McDermott," Spencer said as the door shut behind him. "How would he leave the country?"

"I don't know. He has endless funds, you'd never stop him."

"And he hates you, doesn't he?"

"More than you do."

"Then I think we should give him what he really wants. You."

Realizing what Spencer was doing, Emily quickly entered the room. "No, we are not letting him out of here, Reid."

"Emily, I will chain myself to him if I have to."

"He'll find a way to escape."

"No, he won't. And we're running out of time; if we find McDermott now, we have a chance to save Declan."

Emily thought it over for a few minutes before sighing and giving in: she knew Reid was right. "Get everything ready, I'll call and tell Hotch."

Most things worked out once everything fell into place. The team had managed to arrive at the airstrip before Chloe and McDermott got away.

After they declared the trade off, McDermott escorted Declan off the jet, Chloe staying behind. As they went to hand Doyle off, Chloe stepped off the plane and shot both Doyle and McDermott before Reid made the shot that killed her.

Declan was saved.

Arrangements had been made for Declan and they headed back to the BAU.

Strauss was waiting for them in the conference room. "Even with the outcome of this case, you all went against the guidelines. Many. The director has ordered suspension for the entire team while an investigation is taken for both your team and this case. It is effective as of now. In two weeks, you'll be allowed to request reinstatement, and that will only be decided on after a hearing."

No one said anything, no one reacted. They remained there, quiet and still, until Strauss left.

Hotch stepped forward and turned to address the team. "We all knew the risks going into this case," Hotch began. "We knew our actions were going to be reprimanded. Despite all of that, I am proud of what we were able to accomplish, as you all should be."

He looked over their tired faces, knowing that they had all achieved something great that night.

"All of you, go home and rest. We'll have to get together at some point to discuss everything, but that can wait until later on. You're dismissed."

Everyone instantly scattered to collect their things. "Reid, can I give you a ride home?" Derek offered, being that that was their primary cover.

Spencer nodded and grabbed his things before following Derek out.

The drive home was silent: both of them were exhausted. After they had entered the house, they both dropped their stuff on the floor of their bedroom, stripped down to their boxers, and climbed into bed.

"Night Derek," Spencer whispered as he wrapped his arms around Derek's waist.

"Night, baby boy," Derek responded, kissing the top of Spencer's head.

The two fell asleep instantly.


	8. Chapter 8

Spencer was woken up by his cell phone going off. He groaned as he rolled over in bed and grabbed it from the nightstand.

"Reid," he answered, not bothering to look at the ID.

"Hi, Doctor Reid, this is Nan from Doctor Haq's office."

Spencer sat up, suddenly wide awake. He turned in bed to see if he woke up Derek, but frowned when he saw that Derek wasn't there.

"Doctor Reid?"

Spencer quickly shook his head. "Yes, good morning. Sorry about that, got a little distracted."

"That's perfectly alright. I'm calling to schedule your follow up scans. Are there any days this week that are good for you?"

"I am free every day this week, so I'll happily take anything available."

"We can schedule them for Thursday at 11 at Saint Sebastian. Is there a time next week that you'd be available to come in and discuss the results with Doctor Haq?"

"I'm free all next week as well."

"How's next Wednesday at 2?"

"Sounds perfect."

"We'll see you then. Have a nice day, Doctor Reid."

"You too," Spencer replied, and hung up. He stretched slightly as he put his phone back down on the nightstand and got out of bed.

As he made his way to the kitchen, he noticed Derek wasn't anywhere and figured he was out on his morning run with Clooney.

Spencer started the coffee maker and stood in the kitchen thinking the past few days over. Ever since Emily returned, he tried to compartmentalize things until the case was over.

The mini seizure he had while alone in the room with her didn't help him.

Spencer jumped slightly as he felt arms wrap around his waist but was relaxed when he felt Derek kissing the back of his neck.

"I figured you would've slept in," Derek mumbled.

Spencer shrugged and poured two cups of coffee for himself and Derek. "Doctor Haq's office called."

"And?"

"Scans on Thursday, I see him next Wednesday."

Derek nodded as he stepped back and let Spencer turn around, grabbing his cup of coffee. "Have you had any other headaches?"

Spencer bit his lip. He hadn't told Derek about the seizure and knew he was going to get mad that he had waited so long to tell him.

"I had that one the first day of the Doyle case, but something happened after you guys went to the warehouse." He looked at Derek. "I had what could be considered a seizure."

Derek almost dropped his mug. "A seizure?" his voice shook with worry.

"32% of people diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor experience seizures. They actually happen a lot-"

"How bad?" Derek asked, cutting him off.

"It was a mild seizure."

"Mild?"

"According to Emily," Spencer began, stuttering over her name slightly. "I was unresponsive for almost a minute and once I did respond, I wasn't too entirely sure where I was. It didn't help that I thought I was hallucinating for a minute or two when I looked at her."

"Prentiss was there?" Spencer nodded. "Did you tell her about-" Spencer instantly shook his head.

Derek sighed and rubbed a hand over the top of his head, trying to get to his thoughts straights.

"Are you going to talk to either Doctor Haq or Doctor Barnes about the seizure?"

"Of course."

Derek nodded and then grabbed Spencer's hand, pulling him until he followed Derek to the couch. As he sat down, he pulled Spencer down next to him.

"What are we doing?" Spencer asked as he placed his mug on the coffee table.

"We need to talk."

"Now?"

Derek nodded. "It'll be better to get it out the way, Spence. You know if you stress too much, you'll get a headache. And you don't need all this bullshit piling up when you have your follow up scans."

Spencer bit his lip and looked down at his lap. He knew Derek was right. He sighed as he pulled his legs up and tucked them under himself as he looked to Derek.

"You've got to talk too."

"What?"

Spencer rolled his eyes. "We're both profilers, Derek. I saw how you were when Emily walked into the room. We both need to talk."

Derek stared at him for a few seconds, before reaching forward and taking one of Spencer's hands in his own and smiled.

Spencer gave him a small smile in return. "Where do we start?"

"Everything with Emily," Derek answered. He felt that since that was the biggest thing, it would be the easiest to get out of the way.

Spencer sighed. "I figured that much."

"So?"

Spencer ran a hand through his hair. "I don't, I really don't know how I should feel right now."

"Spencer, no one is telling how you should feel. What do you actually feel?"

"Betrayed, hurt, pissed off, nervous, and scared," Spencer rambled off. "I logically understand why everything happened, why Hotch and JJ couldn't say anything, but I have my own right to ignore logic."

"That's how I've been feeling about this too, Pretty Boy. We could know all the logic in the world, but emotions usually blind that."

"I think I'm pissed off at JJ more than anything, but I don't have anything to justify it," Spencer whispered as he looked down at his lap.

"What do you mean?"

"I went over there once a week. Sure, it become part of routine since I got to spend time with Henry, but thinking about it, I feel like an idiot," Spencer explained, blinking back tears. "I went over there for weeks, opened myself up to her, told her things and she lied to me. And I feel horrible for thinking like that, but I can't help it."

"She probably feels incredibly guilty about that," Derek told him. He didn't know what to really say: this was going to be something Spencer experienced.

"And that's why I feel guilty about it. I just, she lied. I know it was to protect Emily but I just-" Spencer shook his head. "I just don't know. And I think she's annoyed with me."

"What do you mean?"

"I cancelled on her three weeks in a row-"

"For health issues."

"She didn't know that though. Derek, this is all messed up," he said, looking at Derek, fighting the sob that he wanted to let go so bad. "I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore. I mean, I trust you and Garcia perfectly fine, obviously since you both know my biggest secret right now, but I can't look past the fact that three people lied to me for so damn long."

"I've always had problems trusting people," Derek said as he squeezed Spencer's hand slightly. "And this is one of the hardest situations I've been in..." he trailed off but smiled slightly when he felt Spencer squeeze his hand.

"I know eventually I'll forgive them. I know I'll be able to trust them in the field, but it's going to take them a long time to earn it back."

"I don't like this, Derek," Spencer whispered, finally letting the tears fall from his face.

"You're not expected to."

"Everything feels out of place-"

"Like you're not sure if anything is going to be the same?" At Spencer's nod, Derek sighed. "It's probably gonna feel that way for a while. It's going to take some time for us to gain back their trust."

"It's nor fair, especially to you."

Derek licked his lips and nodded. "It's not fair to either of us."

"Do you think you'll be able to trust them again?"

"I'm hoping but I can't say anything for certain."

They both fell silent for a moment, and when Derek looked over at Spencer, he could see that he wanted to say something else. He waited patiently for him to let it out.

"How the hell am I supposed to not tell them that I have this?" he said, gesturing to his forehead.

"You can still tell them."

Spencer shook his head. "I hid it from them because I didn't want anyone to worry about me while they were still grieving over Emily, and now I just feel like it's been shoved in my face." Spencer shook his head again as he pulled his hand away from Derek and rubbed his head.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked him.

"My head hurts," Spencer mumbled.

Derek reached over to him and pulled him to his chest, holding him close. He felt Spencer start to sob into his shoulder and he tightened his hold.

"How bad is it, Spence?" Derek asked after a few minutes.

"It feels like they did before," Spencer choked out. Derek started rubbing Spencer's back, letting own tears fall. "It'll be okay, Spencer. I promised."

"What if it's not?"

Derek shook his head and kissed Spencer's head again. "Don't think like that, baby boy. Please."

They had been through so much in the past few days that Derek hoped that this was just a headache caused by the stress, and he couldn't be any more relieved at the timing of this suspension. After everything that had happened, they both needed this break.

* * *

Thursday came upon them fast, and Spencer found himself fidgeting in the waiting room chair, waiting for his name to be called for the CT scan. He already had the MRI a few hours earlier and he just wanted to get the day over with.

"Everything will be okay," Derek told him from the seat next to him.

"I just hope the radiation worked."

"Me too, kid. Me too."

It felt like forever, but the following Wednesday found both Spencer and Derek incredibly nervous as they waited in a patient room to hear the results of Spencer's scans.

Both of them jumped when the man knocked on the door and walked into the room.

"Good to see you again, Doctor Reid. You too, Agent Morgan," he greeted them as he shook both his hands, then took a seat in the chair across from them.

"After going over your scans, Doctor Reid, I am glad to say that while the tumor did not decrease as much as we were hoping, it has decreased in size since the first scans." He smiled as he saw both breathe a sigh of relief.

"What does that mean in terms as far as continuing the treatment?" Spencer asked.

"I discussed things with Doctor Barnes, and we both agreed that we're going to do one more scan in two weeks before we decide if chemotherapy or surgery would be the next step. We want to see if the tumor would decrease a little more before making our final decision."

"He has experienced two severe migraines and a small seizure since the last time he spoke to you. Are those normal, or things we should be worried about?"

"Seizures are common among those who are diagnosed with a brain tumor and they do happen often. Usually the severity is something we want to pay attention to, but I'm guessing that this one didn't cause any damage?" Spencer shook his head. "Good. Now as for the headache, that could be either the tumor or they could be affected by your environment. I know you are both agents for the FBI... has anything happened at work lately that could be causing you stress?"

Spencer and Derek shook a quick look, both of understanding and relief before looking back towards Doctor Haq and nodded.

"Then all I can say is if they start to increase in severity, contact us and we'll go from there."

"Thank you, Doctor," they both said to him and made their way out of the office after setting up a time for Spencer's next scan and appointments.

As they climbed into the car, Derek's phone rang. "Morgan," he answered.

"Huh? Uh, I can call him for you. 5:30? Sounds good, see you then."

"Who was that?" Spencer asked.

"Is your phone off?" Derek asked. Spencer raised an eyebrow and grabbed his bag, searching around for his phone. Pulling it out, he frowned.

"Yeah, battery's dead. How'd you know?"

"That was Hotch. He wants us to meet over at his place to discuss some things. He asked me if I could tell you since he couldn't get a hold of you."

"I'm guessing this is about the hearing," Spencer mumbled as they drove away from the doctor's office. "Your guess is as good as mine."

* * *

Around 5:30, the team was assembled in Hotch's dining room, eating pizza and discussing everything that may happen at the hearing.

Derek noted that Spencer avoided eye contact with Hotch, Emily, and JJ. He was quiet and only spoke when someone spoke to him.

They covered everything they could think of might be asked, making sure everything was correct and explained exactly how it happened.

"There's just one more thing I want to know before you all head home," Hotch said near the end of the night. "Reid?" Spencer looked up and over at Hotch. "You haven't put in a request to be reinstated."

Everyone looked at Reid, whose face was turning slightly red, not wanting to be the center of attention. He had already told Derek when he asked about it and knew Spencer's reasoning. "That's correct."

"May I ask why?"

"By putting in a request, that would be me signifying that this suspension was valid."

"What do you mean?" Emily asked.

Spencer looked down and shrugged. "We didn't warrant anything to be suspended in the first place. This was more of Strauss' machinations, so, there's no reason for me to legitimize this suspension. We didn't do anything to earn this, therefore I shouldn't have to request to be reinstated."

Everyone continued staring at him and Spencer continued looking at his lap. He had a headache and this was stressing him out more. He cast a quick glance at Derek before he stood up. "Thank you for the pizza, Hotch. I'm sorry but I need to head home, I don't want to miss the train."

"Spence, I could-" JJ went to offer, but Spencer was already gone. "Is he okay?" JJ asked, looking around at the rest of the team.

"I think we just need to give Reid some more time to think everything over," Rossi told them. "We often forget that he's only 29. He handles things differently than the rest of us."

* * *

A few days later, the team found themselves in the conference room, waiting on the verdict from Strauss. Each of them had separate times in front of the senate committee. After they had been brought in as a team, then dismissed to leave Emily on her own.

Spencer stood off to the side. Another headache had began to build up since the morning and was beginning to get unmanageable, but he wouldn't be able to slip away without somebody noticing.

Derek was watching Spencer from across the room. Spencer had kept to himself all day, Derek knowing mostly because he wasn't comfortable around Hotch, JJ, and Emily on his own yet, but he was also sure he could tell the signs that Spencer had a headache.

Derek was going to head over and talk to him, but was cut off by Strauss entering the room.

"The committee made it clear they will not support a rogue team. Agent Prentiss convinced them you were not. They will be watching you closely, so, I suggest you play by their rules."

The team remained quiet, not really sure of what to say. "So, we're okay?" Penelope asked.

"Suspension is lifted for everyone."

As she left the room, the team celebrated. Everyone put aside their anger, their trust issues and celebrated that they were together.

* * *

It was that following Monday as they got ready to go to work, Derek found Spencer sitting at the kitchen table glaring at a prescription bottle that was set before him.

After they had gotten home the night of the hearing, Spencer had told him how he think he had another small seizure while waiting to be called in. They had called Doctor Barnes the next day and managed to fit in an emergency appointment after ordering an MRI.

Spencer had explained the growing intensity of his headaches, which after a few generic explanations, could be explained by the stress that they had been experiencing the last few weeks. After the mention of the seizures, Barnes explained how common they were and prescribed Dilantin.

They were going to call Spencer this morning with the results of the MRI, after agreeing that a phone meeting would be the easiest.

"You know you can't miss a dose," Derek told him as he placed a cup of water in front of Spencer.

"I know. I'm just nervous about the side effects," Spencer mumbled as he reached forward and opened the bottle, popped one in his mouth, and then downed the cup of water.

"If you do get any side effects, you know they're not going to appear right away."

Spencer nodded as he stood up and grabbed his things. As they got in the car and drove towards Quantico. "In case, do you think we should tell Hotch?"

Spencer was looking out the window and turned to Derek. "Tell Hotch what exactly?"

"That you're taking a medication that has side effects, such as fevers and shortness of breath."

"Then he'll ask what the medication is for."

"Then you tell him."

"He'll ask what is causing the seizures," Spencer sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Derek, no matter what, telling Hotch about the medication would ultimately lead to telling him about the glioblastoma, no matter which way I could try to tell him."

"Would it be so bad to let the team know now?"

"I'm not ready," Spencer mumbled.

"You'll have to be sometime."

"I know."


	9. Chapter 9

Spencer was flying through paperwork and kept glancing at his phone, anticipating the phone call from Doctor Barnes. He was also trying to distract himself from the obvious awkward tension that could be found in the bullpen that morning.

Once they reached the BAU, Derek had gone to his office and Spencer had seen Emily and JJ heading towards him. He already felt slightly guilty that he had ignored some of the calls from JJ this weekend, but he still didn't know how comfortable he was around her. He quickly walked past them, hoping to avoid any sort of conversation, but knew he wasn't going to be that lucky. He pulled a file out of his bag to quickly come up with any cover he might need.

"Hey, where have you been?" JJ asked when she spotted him. "I wanted to do brunch this weekend."

Spencer swallowed quickly as he thought of his reply. "I had to deal with some stuff with my mom. Have you seen Garcia?" He didn't wait for a reply as he darted towards her office.

"She's with Rossi," he heard JJ trail off behind him. "He hates me."

"He was just busy, let him go."

Spencer pushed away the guilt and walked away, quickly rerouting his route to Derek's office.

He knocked when he arrived and Derek looked up. "Shut the door," was all he said before getting up from his desk and walking over to Reid.

"I can't do this, Derek," he mumbled as he dropped himself down on the couch.

"Do what?"

"I'm scared of sitting in the bullpen. Both of them are right there," Spencer told him. Derek automatically knew who he was talking about.

"As much as I would love it, you can't work in here," Derek said as he sat down on the armrest and rubbed Spencer's back.

"I know, but all that plus waiting for Doctor Barnes' call? I hope we get a case or something," Spencer ran a hand over his face.

"Don't jinx us," Derek mumbled as he leaned over to kiss Spencer. "If there is no case, see you at lunch?"

Spencer nodded. "What if Doctor Barnes calls?" Spencer asked as he stood up and walked over to the door.

"Find a reason to come find me."

That had been a couple hours ago and so far no call, no case, just a whole lot of awkward.

Spencer tried to space out his paperwork to act as a longer distraction. He was thankful that neither JJ or Emily had tried to start any sort of conversation with him.

"We've got a case," Spencer almost cheered when he heard Hotch and looked relieved when he saw the unit chief making his way to grab Morgan from his office.

Garcia had entered the room, discussing something about a recipe that Rossi had shared, while complaining about it being changed to fit to the diet of a vegetarian.

"You know, Rossi, you could always offer cooking lessons," Derek told him. He laughed at the glare he received from Rossi and Penelope rambled on how it was a great idea.

* * *

After they had all assembled in the room, JJ almost instantly grabbed for the remote and there was a small laugh after Garcia had grabbed it and stood up to present the case.

"Mes amis, you are jetting to Durant, Oklahoma, because in the last three days, two women have been found dead after being sexually tortured and then blinded with a sulfuric acid solution."

Two pictures of a young, blonde woman appeared on the screen. "Abby Elcott is our first victim, 19 year old art student. She was heading to campus for an advanced drawing class. She'd been missing for two days."

Two more photos of again, a young blonde woman appeared next to the one of Abby Elcott. "Same goes with our second victim, Beth Westerly, 17. She had just finished her coffee shop shift and was on her way to a bar method class."

"Both low risked victims," Emily pointed out.

"And physically similar," Derek followed.

"How close are the two abduction sites?" Rossi asked as he turned to Garcia.

"Five miles apart at bus stops. Abby's cell was found near one, Beth's scarf near the other."

"Where are the dump sites?" Spencer asked.

"One in an alley, the other in a field."

"So, he stapled their eyes open and then blinded them?" JJ asked.

"It's about power and control. Maybe he didn't want to watch him while he hurt her," Derek explained.

"Or it could be about shame. Perhaps the unsub is disfigured himself. Blinding the victims leaves them helpless, lost, totally dependent. Maybe a manifestation of how he sees himself in this world," Spencer offered.

"We'll continue this on the jet. Wheels up in 30," Hotch said and they were dismissed.

"Reid, need a ride?" Derek asked as they left the conference room. Spencer gave him an appreciative look, knowing Derek was helping him avoid an offer from JJ.

"Yeah. Thanks, Morgan."

* * *

"Told you you jinxed us," Derek teased as the two drove to the airport.

Spencer shrugged and smiled. "I honestly would rather be on a case, stuck at the police station, than be stuck in the bullpen."

"Doctor Barnes hasn't called yet?" Derek asked, even though he already knew the answer. Spencer would've already told him.

"Not yet. I kind of hope he calls before we land in Oklahoma. I don't want to be distracted from the case."

"It's still early, I'm sure he'll call soon."

* * *

It was an hour and a half into their three hour flight and Spencer was getting irritated. He wanted to get the phone call over with.

"Let's go over this a few times before we get ready to land," Hotch said as everyone moved towards the front of the jet.

"When were these photos taken?" Emily asked as they went over the crime scenes photos from a dumpsite.

"Beth was caught on a bank surveillance camera three hours before she disappeared. That's a recent photo of Abby," Derek explained.

"So, she wasn't found in the same clothes she was abducted in," Emily said as she held up the photos for the others to see.

"Maybe he changed them because hers were covered in sulfuric acid," Rossi suggested.

Spencer nodded at that. "It's possible. Sulfuric acid can turn human flesh into soap."

"Garcia, any recent similar cases in the surrounding area?" Hotch asked.

"Actually, yes. Two months ago, a prostitute and a runaway were both found raped and killed, and they had stab wounds to their eyes."

"So, maybe he practiced on high-risk victims," JJ offered.

"And then advanced to chemical enucleation," Derek followed.

"Isn't that a rare paraphilia?" JJ asked.

"Well, the chemical part is. It would exacerbate the pain," Emily explained.

"Like Ed Kemper, he's probably practicing on surrogates before going after the real object of his rage," Rossi added.

"Dave, you and I will talk to the parents. Morgan and Prentiss -" Hotch was cut off by the sound of someone's phone ringing. "Reid?"

Spencer jumped slightly when he heard his phone and quickly pulled it out of his pocket. He ignored the looks the team were giving as he looked at the ID. He paled slightly. "I need to take this," he mumbled as he stood up and made his way to the back of the cabin.

"Hello?" He greeted as he turned away from the team.

"Doctor Reid, it's Doctor Barnes. I'm sorry that I didn't call earlier."

"Don't worry about that."

"Doctor Reid, the results of your MRI show that the primary tumor, while slightly smaller, hasn't decreased since the last scan, and I unfortunately see signs of secondary tumors."

"Secondary? What do you mean secondary?" Spencer squeaked. He knew that probably caught the attention of the rest of the team, but that wasn't something he was going to worry about at the moment.

"Secondary tumors are common with malignant brain tumors. The secondary tumors occur when cancer cells break away from the primary. Both Doctor Haq and I agree that this could be what's causing both the seizures and the intensity of your recent headaches."

Spencer took a deep breath and let it out as he allowed himself a few seconds to take in the information. "Can they be treated?"

"There are treatment options, but this is something that I'd rather speak to you in person about this."

Spencer bit his lip. "I'm currently on my way to Oklahoma for a case. We usually can't predict how long they're going to take."

"I understand. You should be fine until you come back, but I must stress that if you experience any of the symptoms you had before or the seizures change, I urge you to find emergency help."

"I can definitely do that, I promise."

"We'll schedule something when you get back. Be careful, Doctor Reid."

"I will, Doctor. Thank you." Spencer hung up the phone and shoved it in his pocket before rubbing his forehead. After a few minutes he took a deep breath and made his way back to the rest of the team.

* * *

Derek didn't remove his gaze on Spencer as he heard his phone ring and the younger man quickly made his way to the front of the cabin for some privacy.

"What do you suppose that's about?" JJ asked as she took the seat on couch where Spencer had been.

"Maybe it's something about his mom?" Emily asked. "He looked pretty nervous."

They heard Spencer's voice squeak from the other end of the jet and turned to look at him, all incredibly worried about the conversation that Reid may be having. Derek was trying to keep his emotions in control as he remained quiet and could feel his heart beating in his chest with each second that Spencer was still on the phone.

"That didn't sound good," Rossi mumbled.

A minute or two later, Spencer had finished the call and was making his way back towards the couch.

Derek quickly took in how pale Spencer seemed and sent him a worried glance. The two made brief eye contac,t but both knew they would talk about this when they got the chance.

"Sorry about that," he said as he sat back down on the couch, leaving noticeable space between himself and JJ.

"Is everything alright?" Hotch asked.

Spencer shook his head. "Yeah, everything's fine. Just needed to confirm a drug change for my mother," he said, the lie coming to him with ease.

Hotch nodded. "Morgan and Prentiss, you two go to the dumpsites. JJ, you and Reid go to the abduction sites."

Spencer looked over at JJ briefly. She gave him a sad smile before he went back to looking at the case file.

* * *

After they landed, Spencer followed the rest of the team as they made their way off the jet. He really wished he had been paired with Derek or Rossi. It was going to make him feel even more awkward, as he was now going to be alone with JJ.

Spencer climbed into the driver's seat of the SUV and waited for JJ to get in.

"Do you have the address of the first abduction site?" she asked as she climbed in and buckled her seat.

Spencer nodded and pointed to the GPS. "Ready?" He asked. Seeing her nod, he started the car and drove from the airport.

They both knew they were sitting in an awkward silence. Spencer didn't really have anything to say to JJ at the moment: he was still trying to absorb everything that the doctor had told him.

JJ looked at him and bit her lip. She was worried about him and slightly irritated with the way he had been acting toward her. After the mention of his mom this morning then the phone call on the plane, she figured that he might just be slightly distracted.

A few minutes later they had arrived at the first abduction site and began investigating the area.

"So, Beth got off the bus here and headed northwest towards class," Spencer said as they headed in that direction.

"It's amazing no one witnessed her abduction."

"Emily was buried six feet under and wound up in Paris, so I guess anything is possible, right?" Spencer said, a hint of annoyance in his tone.

JJ sighed. "So that's what this is about."

"You know, maybe our unsub's a little bit like Bundy and he feigned an injury in order to get her to help him," Spencer continued on as if he hadn't heard her.

"Hey, Spence, if you want to talk-" she was cut off

"Or maybe he tried another tactic, and was like, "Wow, you're really pretty. You should be a model. I can take your photo." Spencer knew how he was acting, but the wave of different emotions that he was currently experiencing kept him from caring.

"I guess that's a no," JJ mumbled.

Even though he was wearing sunglasses, the headache that had appeared after Hotch gave the assignments was slowly getting a little less manageable and the bright sun wasn't helping.

"Either one would disarm her."

"Charm's quite the killer."

"So are tears," Spencer stated. "Whatever his ruse was, the unsub most likely used it to get her into his vehicle."

"Well, if Abby was last seen at a bus stop a few miles away, then he definitely has means of transportation."

"Hopefully the disposal site will tell us more."

* * *

They regrouped at the precinct at the end of the day to compile everything they had learned. They didn't think they had enough to give a profile and had decided to call it a night. After checking in, Hotch explained they were going to have to share rooms. Spencer was relieved to hear that since he knew he'll finally be able to talk to Derek.

"JJ, you're with Emily. Morgan and Reid. Dave's with me," Hotch said as he handed out the keys.

Once in the elevator, the door stopped on the second floor where Hotch and Rossi's room was. Reminding them of the 7am call, they wished the others good night.

Luckily, Derek and Spencer were on the third floor, and after wishing the girls a good night, made their way to the hotel room. Walking in, Spencer dropped his ready bag on the floor and plopped himself down on the bed. Derek placed his on the floor near the closet before he walked over to bed and sat down next to Spencer.

"I'm guessing that phone call on the jet was from Doctor Barnes?" Derek asked.

Spencer nodded and let out a shaky breath. "He said the results showed that the primary tumor hadn't decreased in size since the last test. However, the scan also showed secondary tumors."

"What are secondary tumors?"

"They usually occur when cancerous cells spread from the primary tumor." Spencer paused as he tried to figure out how he was going to explain the rest, and was incredibly grateful when Derek grabbed his hand.

"They, being Doctor Barnes and Haq, think that the secondary ones are what are causing the intense headaches and the seizures."

"Can they be treated?"

Spencer nodded. "He wants to talk about that in person though. He didn't need me to fly back from the case immediately. Unless I experience any extreme symptoms, I'm fine to finish out the case."

Derek pulled Spencer into a hug and held him as tight as he could. He didn't know what to say, but he knew that Spencer didn't need him to say anything.

"I think I'm going to tell them when the case is over," Spencer mumbled after a while.

"Really?"

"I think it's time."

* * *

The next morning, they had been told that another victim had been found, and Hotch sent Reid, Rossi, and JJ to check out the dumpsite.

"Again, he's disposing in an area frequented by homeless people," Rossi pointed out as they looked around.

"This is equidistant between the last two dump sites," Spencer said.

"Well, he burned her tongue with the chemical this time."

"So, he removed her ability to speak," Rossi deduced.

"Why would he do that?" The detective that had came with them to the scene asked.

"Historically, this type of torture was used to prevent someone from revealing a secret," Spencer explained.

"Maybe she offended him," JJ suggested.

"Wonder what that's like," Spencer mumbled and ignored the glare she shot him when he knew she heard.

"Her lips are extremely chapped."

"She was probably forced to repeatedly participate in some sort of kissing fantasy."

"And when things go awry, he takes the offending sense away," JJ added to Spencer's statement.

"He tortured her in these clothes, which means the '80s are essential to his delusion," Spencer continued.

"Maybe that's when this rejection occurred, and he held onto the clothes all these years." Rossi added.

"He's fixated on her type and remakes them to fit his fantasy."

"But why start now?" The detective asked.

"Something probably triggered it. Instead of dealing with it, he's acting out." JJ said, emphasizing the last three words as she shot an annoyed look at Reid.

"We might be ready for a profile."

* * *

They had profiled the unsub as a white male in his 40's, and that he was reacting to a rejection from a woman when he was a teenager in the 80's. Using sulfuric acid to take away their senses, he punished his victims for their reactions to him. He could be working part-time as a janitor or a mechanic both of which would give him access to the chemical, and he's most likely homeless. The unsub's fixation on this woman is now all-consuming. It's caused him to develop Obsessive Love Disorder. He most likely had tunnel vision and believed that she holds the key to his happiness. He would stalk her in an attempt to win her back.

After giving the profile, they went back to the conference room they were using as their base to look over things that had collected, trying to find something that could be taken as a lead.

Spencer's headaches were starting to get slightly worse every minute of this case, but he was controlling the pain with low doses of Tylenol. He had decided to go through the case files while the others looked over the evidence.

"Spence, look, we got to talk about this," he heard JJ say from behind him. Spencer clenched his eyes shut and shook his head slightly as he started grabbing up the case files.

"What do you mean, talk about it?"

"I get it, okay? You're disappointed with the way we handled Emily."

Spencer could feel his headache getting worse and knew it was from the sudden amount of stress he was feeling. "Listen, I have a lot going on, alright?" He told her as he turned to leave the room.

"You, you know what I think it is?" Her question was enough to have him stop.

"What?"

"You're mad that Hotch and I controlled our micro expressions at the hospital, and you weren't able to detect our deception."

Spencer felt himself started to get angry and took a deep breath to make sure he didn't completely blow up. Rubbing his head again, he stared at JJ.

"You think this is about my profiling skills?" He blurted out, his voice cracking. "Jennifer, listen, the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions is because I trusted you. I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth."

He saw her growing annoyed. "Not only that but I've been-, you know what? It doesn't matter."

"I couldn't tell you the truth," she told him.

"You couldn't or you wouldn't?"

"No, I couldn't."

"What about you being increasingly annoyed with me when I cancelled dinner nights?"

"You can't keep hiding behind your headaches," JJ blurted out and instantly regretted it when she saw the rage and hurt in Reid's eyes.

Spencer shook his head and clenched his eyes to keep back the tears he wasn't going to allow her to see. "Because I needed to fake a medical condition. You don't have any idea what I've been going through the last few months. All of this, because of all of this, I've been-, you know what? I'm done." Spencer snapped his mouth shut and turned to leave.

"Spence, I'm sorry."

He shook his head and quickly walked away from the room, past the rest of the team. He knew they heard every word and he ignored Emily calling his name as he continued to walk away.

* * *

Spencer had returned a few minutes later to the rest of the team in the conference room, ignoring the awkward glances that JJ sent him.

"I don't think we're dealing with a typical homeless person. He's good with chemicals, owns a car. I think the only mistake in our profile was assuming there was something wrong with his physical composition. Reducing him to some sort of stereotype," he explained.

"You think it's only his mental state?" Rossi asked.

"I think this guy might be smart enough to use his disability to his advantage so he comes across as harmless."

"But then when he's alone and the victim rejects him, he goes off." Derek added.

"What if he doesn't live on the street? What if he's in a halfway house?" JJ asked.

"Garcia, I need a list of halfway houses and mental health centers in the unsub's comfort zone."

"Okay. Five are being sent to your phones."

"Which of those were around in the 80's, Garcia?" Morgan asked.

"There are two in your area."

"Morgan and Prentiss, take the first. Dave and I will take the second."

"What about us?" JJ asked.

"Stay here and check VICAP for similar M.O.s and signatures."

Everyone went to leave and Hotch took a second to talk to Spencer. "Reid, if you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me."

Spencer avoided eye contact. "I can't. I didn't come crying to your house for ten weeks, and then get accused of hiding behind a medical condition." And then he walked away. Hotch didn't stop him.

* * *

Morgan and Prentiss were finishing up their investigation at the halfway house when Emily pulled him to the side to talk to him.

"What do I do about Reid?" She asked.

Derek sighed and thought over the best way to phrase his answer. "Emily, there's a lot about you being back that isn't resolved. That and Reid's experiencing some medical things at the moment. It might just be too much at once for him."

"Are you pissed at me too?"

"Come on, now. How can I be? You're here."

"Thank you. Because I know what you went through. Grief counseling... you carried my coffin."

Yeah, I sure did. What was in that thing, anyway?" He joked. "Look… just give Reid some time for him to make sense of everything."

"Thanks."

* * *

A girl by the name of Tammy Bradstone had been reported missing when she hadn't returned home from homecoming. After some investigating and sharing the profile with her parents, the team was able to identify Ben Bradstone as the unsub.

In high school, Ben had fallen in love with his brother Matt's now wife, Lyla. She had rejected him in a game of spin-the-bottle. After having Lyla call him to the house, Hotch and Rossi were able to get Tammy's location out of Ben, but only when he was speaking directly to Matt.

They were able to find the location and found out that he had burned Tammy's hand using the sulfuric acid. When they arrived at the shed, Morgan and Emily found Tammy still alive, as well as pieces of clothing and/or belongings from his previous victims, and boxes filled with tapes of his murders, suggesting that he may have killed more.

They wrapped up the case and were heading home.

Spencer was in the middle of reading when Emily came and sat down in the seat in front of him.

"So, the surgeon said he believes he can restore feeling to Tammy's hands," she told him.

"Good, we got there in time."

"I heard Mr. Bradstone wants to watch the tape."

"People have an innate curiosity to see things in order to confirm them."

"Well, that explains why I'm going to Rossi's tomorrow night. I want to see if he really can cook. You coming?"

"Depends on how I'm feeling. I'm not so sure," he told her honestly. His headaches hurt more from what he was considering the lack of sleep he had gotten on this case, and was looking forward to sleeping in his bed until he saw Doctor Barnes on Monday.

"Look, Reid, I know you're mad at us because we didn't tell you what really happened, and… I understand that. But I promise you, we had no choice. You mourned the loss of a friend. I mourned the loss of six. This whole thing gave me an ulcer. Please, don't give me another one. Are you gonna go to Rossi's tomorrow?"

Spencer rubbed his head as he felt his headache increase. He clenched his eyes shut when he started to feel a little dizzy. 'Oh god, please not again. Not another seizure, not now.' He thought to himself.

"Reid?" He heard Emily calling his name but it sounded like she was in a tunnel. After another minute, the dizziness went away and he was able to focus a bit more. "Was it another?"

Spencer nodded, knowing what she was referring to. "Tomorrow will depend on how I feel," he rasped

* * *

The next night most of the team found themselves at Rossi's 'mansion', surprised that the man had actually gone through with the cooking lesson idea.

"Are we just waiting on Morgan?" Rossi asked as he looked at the rest of the team sitting across the island from him.

"Did anyone get a confirmation from Reid?" Hotch asked. Everyone shook their heads.

"Morgan said he was coming so he may just be running late. As for Reid, he told me it depended on how he felt," Emily told him.

"I could call Derek?" Garcia offered. When the others nodded she turned around to grab her phone. She was confused to see an alert in her notification screen and was surprised she didn't hear it go off.

She unlocked the phone and clicked the icon for the alert. After reading the message, she almost dropped her phone.

"Oh no. No, no please no," she rambled as she felt herself starting to tear up. She quickly selected Derek's number from her contacts and waited as the phone continued to ring.

"Come on, come on," she whispered, biting her lip as the phone kept ringing. When it went to voicemail, she hung up and dialed Spencer's number. Same thing.

She was aware of the mascara running down her face and tried Morgan's number again.

"Garcia, what's wrong?" She heard Hotch ask from behind her. The other four had watched as Penelope went from calm to frightened so quick after checking her phone.

"Hold on," she said quickly and let out a relieved cry when the ringing stopped as she knew Derek had answered.

"Derek, talk to me, tell me what's going on."

She could hear Derek on the other end, could hear him crying slightly and she began to grow even more worried.

"Derek, what happened? Please tell me he's okay," she begged. The last request is what set off the paranoia for the rest of the team and waited as Garcia tried to get something out of Morgan.

"I know what hospital he's at, are you in the emergency room?"

There was a force, choked out "Yes," from the other line.

"I'll be there as soon as possible, Derek. He's going to be okay, he has to be." She shoved her phone back in her bag and turned towards the rest of the team.

"We need to get to Saint Sebastian, immediately. It's Spencer."


	10. Chapter 10

They made it to the hospital in record time and Garcia was the first one who spotted Derek in the waiting room, bent over. He had a handful of tissues in one hand and everyone could see that his eyes were red from crying.

The four stood there, unsure of what to do, as Penelope ran over to Morgan and pulled him into a hug. They had absolutely no idea what what was going on.

Garcia rubbed Derek's back with one hand and gestured for the team to come closer with the other. They sat down in the seats closest to Derek and Garcia as Derek rubbed a hand over his face, sniffing slightly as he pulled away from Garcia.

"Morg- Derek, what's going on? What happened to Reid?" Hotch asked.

Derek and Garcia shared a quick glance, knowing that this was the right time: it had to be.

"He was going to tell you tonight," Derek began, his voice sounding rough.

"Tell us what?"

"They found out what was causing his headaches. When we got back from that case in Miami, Spencer was diagnosed with a glioblastoma," Derek explained.

"What is that?"

Derek took a deep breath. "It's a brain tumor."

The others were silent after Derek had uttered the two words. Hotch and Rossi sat there, shocked: neither of them would ever think of connecting them to their youngest agent. Emily wasn't showing much emotion, but a profiler could tell you her behavior showed a different story. JJ was the one who was tearing up.

"Why-" Hotch wasn't too sure of how to phrase the question. "Why didn't he want to tell us?" The others looked to Derek.

Derek took a deep breath. "He didn't want to be a burden," he explained as he looked to the ground, not wanting to see the faces of his team. "After the Miami case, he was scared. He had been thinking that it was psychosomatic and when he found out it wasn't, he panicked. Then everything with Doyle.." he trailed off.

"He didn't want to burden everyone with it being so close to my 'death'," Emily blurted out. Everyone looked at her, surprised to see how much emotion she was showing at the moment. Her gaze was directly on Derek, who nodded in confirmation.

"Derek, sweetie," Penelope said as she reached forward and grabbed one of Derek's hands. "What happened _tonight_?"

Derek ran a hand over his face. "I can't explain that yet," he told her. She looked at him slightly confused then released a small gasp when she realized and looked over at the others with a sheepish smile.

"God, this is just a night of confessions," Derek said, letting out a small, weak chuckle as he shook his head. "This isn't how we wanted to tell you, but, Spencer and I have been together for almost three years now."

Emily and JJ's eyebrows shot up, clearly surprised as Hotch looked at him slightly amused and Rossi was fighting back a grin. "Hard to hide feelings like that, Morgan," he said, grinning slightly at Derek's surprised face, despite the mood of the current of situation.

"Three years, so that would mean-"

Derek cut JJ off. "The anthrax case. Apparently hospitals bring out our secrets," he muttered as he sat up in his seat.

"Now that we know, Derek, what happened?" Hotch asked. Derek could hear the nervousness in his voice, and knew he couldn't put off the explanation.

"He was alright when we got home last night and he basically went straight to bed. When he woke up this morning, he had another seizure-"

"Another?! He's had them before?" JJ blurted out, cutting Derek off.

"He had one the night we saved Declan, and then one on the jet home yesterday," Emily was the one who answered. "He didn't want me to tell anyone," she explained as she saw their questioning glances.

"Why haven't we noticed them then?" JJ asked.

"They're mild. Some seizures aren't always noticeable," Derek told them.

"What exactly happens with a mild seizure?" Rossi asked.

"He would be unresponsive for at most a minute, then he either wouldn't recognize where he was or he'd feel like he was off-balance," Derek explained. "He was prescribed Dilantin, and so far, it had kept them from getting bad, but..." he cut himself off as he felt himself start to tear up.

The fear of Reid's condition grew as the team watched Morgan break down more and more.

"He woke up with a migraine, one that had been more painful than any previous ones, but he took some extra strength Tylenol and it seemed to help. The rest of the day he was fine. Then when we were getting ready tonight, he complained about the pain, but before we had the chance to contact his doctor, he had another seizure," Derek stopped and covered his face with his hands. His shoulder began to shake as he let himself break down again. "Except this time we was unresponsive for almost 5 minutes."

Penelope rested her head on his shoulders, rubbing a hand over his back slowly. JJ had grabbed Emily's hand and the two women tried to comfort each other. Rossi was staring at the wall in front of him while Aaron had leaned forward, trying to take everything in.

Their section of the waiting room was quiet except for the silent cries from JJ, Garcia, and Derek.

* * *

"How long have you been here?" Rossi had asked after a while.

Derek rubbed a hand over his face and gave a small shrug. "I got here with the ambulance about an hour before Garcia called me," his voice was rough and obviously exhausted.

Garcia had pulled out her phone to check the time she had called. "It's been about four hours."

"And we haven't heard anything?" JJ asked.

Derek shook his head. "He woke up about the time the ambulance had shown up. He was just in _so_ much pain. He had a fever that spiked on the way over and I haven't heard anything since," he explained and gestured weakly towards the closed ER doors.

The group fell silent. As Derek looked over the faces of his friends, the profiler in him could see that they had questions. "It'll probably be best to do this now. I can _try_ to answer your questions as best as I can."

They looked at each other before turning to Derek.

"Derek, you don't-" Emily began.

Morgan shook his head. "I want to. Both of us have felt guilty keeping this from you." He scrunched his face in confusion and looked over at Garcia. "How did you know something happened?"

"The thing."

"What thing?" Hotch asked.

"Wait, the hospital alert thing?" Derek asked. Penelope nodded and looked at the others. "I'll explain later."

Rossi leaned forward. "Was there anything health related that you know of that could have led to this?"

"Remember the phone call he got on the jet?" They nodded. "That was his neurologist with the results of his most recent MRI scan. It showed a couple of secondary tumors that were putting excess pressure near his frontal lobe."

"Secondary tumors?" Hotch questioned.

Derek nodded. "I'm not too sure on the exact definition, but Spencer told me they were cancerous cells that had spread from the primary tumor."

"Has he undergone any treatment?" Emily asked and before Derek had the chance to answer. "His sabbatical!" JJ blurted out, looking at Derek who nodded in confirmation.

"The week before he took the sabbatical, he had a biopsy, so that they could make a clear diagnosis. His sabbatical was spent undergoing radiation treatments."

"Did it work?" Emily asked.

"To an extent," Derek replied while nodding. "The tumor that the radiation had been focused on had decreased in size. His headaches were less frequent and hurt less. I just wish I knew when it began to do downhill."

"Do you know-" Rossi stopped himself, unsure if he wanted to ask the question. Derek noticed his hesitation.

"Know what?" He was slightly hesitant himself but he sighed. "Just ask, Rossi."

"Do you know his chances?"

Derek thought it over for a few minutes. "We were never given an absolute answer. Subconsciously I guess both of us were trying to avoid it so that we didn't have a number hanging over our heads. It really hadn't come up yet either, but Spencer had the statistics."

"Of course, wouldn't expect anything less from the kid," Rossi joked.

Derek smiled slightly at the comment. "He said something like that 10 to 15% live on after 10 years but-"

Garcia cut him off. "No buts! This is Spencer Reid. If he can kick a rare strain of anthrax, then he can kick anything's ass."

The group smiled at the thought.

"So, three years, huh?" Emily asked, trying to move to a somewhat happier thought. Derek allowed himself a full smile and nodded.

"Took you guys long enough," Rossi muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Derek raised an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Hotch shook his head. "I've been waiting for something to happen since the Fisher King case," he felt himself smirk when he saw Derek's eyes grow with surprise.

Rossi cut him off before Derek had the chance to say anything. "Don't look too surprised over there, Morgan. I saw something between the two of you a few weeks into coming off from retirement. I had to ask Hotch how Strauss felt about the two of you, and I didn't believe him at first when he said that you were 'just friends'."

"I just thought Spence was too awkward around girls to even start a conversation," JJ explained, smiling. "Good to know I was wrong."

"I was the same as JJ. Plus you, Morgan, just easily scream ladies man." Emily explained.

Derek shrugged. "I thought I was too. It wasn't until after on the jet back from a case, we were playing gin. I told him I wasn't ready to get serious but he rebutted that saying I might've been more ready that I realized." He smiled at the memory. "Turns out, I was ready for him."

The team smiled. They always knew Derek had been overprotective of Spencer. What to most people seemed to be an incredibly close friendship, or even an older-younger sibling relationship, had obviously transformed into something bigger and more special than anyone on the team would've guessed.

JJ looked over at Garcia who, to her, seemed to be entirely too quiet during this entire thing. "Pen, you've been quiet."

Emily nodded in agreement. "Yeah, PG, I thought you'd be freaking out about all of this."

"Oh, trust me. She has done a lot of that. Haven't you, baby girl?"

Garcia's smile grew at the sound of the familiar nickname and nodded. "Kevin and I were walking through the park when we came across chocolate thunder and baby genius acting like teenagers on a park bench," she explained, giggling slightly at the mock glare Derek was sending her.

"When you say 'acting like teenagers'-" Emily began to ask, but Garcia's nod was enough to cut her off.

"Acting like teenagers, horny rabbits, tonsil hockey. Whatever you want to call it, sweet cheeks. They obviously couldn't hide it so I promised to keep their secret as long as I got some juicy details once in awhile."

* * *

As the minutes passed, they all grew silent once again. The reality they tried to hide from for only a small amount of time came crashing down around them.

"Where is the damn doctor?" Derek mumbled as he rubbed a hand over his head and returned his attention to the ER doors.

Nobody said anything as they too watched the doors, just wishing that Reid's doctor would come out and give them some kind of news so they knew how their youngest agent was doing. Hotch looked around at his team before making his next decision. He stood up and didn't say anything as he made his way over to the nurses' desk. Before the nurse, Carrie, could say anything, Hotch pulled out his badge.

"My name is SSA Aaron Hotchner, I'm with the FBI. I would like to request an update for one of my agents, SSA Doctor Spencer Reid." He kept his gaze on the woman in front of him. When it looked like she was going to object, he hardened his stare.

"Yes, I have Doctor Reid's chart right here. You are listed on the HIPAA form along with a Mr. Derek Morgan and a Miss Jennifer Jareau," she looked up at Hotch and continued after she got a nod for confirmation about the information. "Doctor Underwood should be out to talk to you in a few moments. Is there anything I should know before I head back?" Her voice squeaked slightly as she rushed the question.

"As Doctor Reid's medical power of attorney, I give permission to Penelope Garcia, David Rossi, and Emily Prentiss to also know any information." Carrie nodded and wrote down their names on the chart. Hotch nodded his thanks and turned to return to the waiting room.

As he sat down, he took in the curious glances from the rest of the team and shrugged. "Pulling rank is allowed in situations such as these. I think I scared her a little," he explained, smirking.

"I keep telling you that you need to patent that 'Hotch Glare'," Emily teased, causing the others to chuckle.

"Did she say how long it would take?" Derek asked.

"She said it should only be a few minutes."

They all watched as a tall man stepped out from behind the ER doors, holding a chart. "Spencer Reid?" he called out, looking towards the team. They instantly stood and walked over to him. "Which one of you is Aaron Hotchner?"

"Doctor Underwood?" Hotch asked as he stepped forward and held his hand out. "Anything you say to me, you can say to them. They're all listed on the HIPAA form."

The doctor nodded as he shook Hotch's hand. "I need to speak with you and Mr. Derek Morgan separately. I've been advised by Spencer's neurologist that this isn't something I should leave him out of."

"Is something wrong?" Derek asked as he stepped up next to Hotch. Doctor Underwood looked to him and then at the rest of the team.

"That is something that I think Doctor Barnes should explain," he responded. "I can have Nurse Carrie escort the rest of you to a conference room until these two gentlemen have spoken to Doctor Barnes."

While the women looked ready to protest, Rossi instantly took the lead. "That sounds like a good idea, Doctor, thank you."

Nurse Carrie smiled at the group. "If you'd follow me," she said and led the others away.

"May I ask what this is about?" Hotch asked. "Or why it's taken so long to receive an update on his condition?"

Derek mentally thanked Hotch, completely relieved that the other man was here. These were the same questions he wanted to be asking but knew that at the moment Hotch was the one keeping himself together.

Doctor Underwood gave them an apologetic look as he opened the door behind him. "I would like to apologize for that. Glioblastomas diagnoses aren't something I interact with often and have only been briefed some of Doctor's Reid medical history. We were waiting on Doctor Barnes to know how to continue." He gestured for them to follow him.

They didn't say anything as they followed Doctor Underwood passed cubicles and curtained off areas holding other emergency patients. As they continued further down the hallway, they started coming to quieter and more private rooms.

When they came to room 907, Doctor Underwood knocked on the door before turning to the two agents. "This is Doctor Reid's room. Doctor Barnes should be out in a moment or two. He'll be able answer all your questions. I need to go finish rounds and will return shortly."

"Thank you, Doctor," Hotch said as both he and Derek shook Doctor Underwood's hand and were left waiting for Doctor Barnes.

Derek wiped a hand over his face and leaned against the wall. "I am seriously so over the waiting game," he mumbled.

Before Hotch got the chance to answer, the door to Spencer's room opened and Doctor Barnes walked out, closing the door behind him.

"Agent Morgan," he said, nodding towards Derek. "And this must be Agent Hotchner?"

Hotch nodded. "Sorry that we had to meet under these circumstances."

"Believe me, I wish we had never met," he said, a grim look upon his face. "I would also like to apologize for the wait. Now there is something I need to talk to the two of you about."

"How is he?" Derek blurted out, hoping to finally get an answer they've been waiting too long for.

Doctor Barnes looked at Derek and let out a sigh. "He's stable for now. The seizures have stopped and his fever hasn't spiked in a few hours."

"Has he woken up at all?"

Doctor Barnes nodded. "He has, but he hasn't been aware - that is most likely because of the antibiotics and fever reducer."

"What is it that we need to discuss, Doctor?" Hotch asked. He too wanted to be updated on Reid's condition, but he knew there was a reason that only he and Derek had been pulled aside.

"As I'm sure you know by now, the tumors in Spencer's frontal lobe have increasingly put pressure, which was causing both the seizures and the headaches. While the radiation treatments were able to shrink the size of the primary tumor, the secondary tumors are what has been causing the problems."

"Are secondary tumors common?" Hotch asked. "With his diagnosis, I mean."

"In brain tumors, glioblastomas especially, each case is different. Especially when it comes to cancerous cells spreading. More often than not though, secondary tumors do occur," Barnes explained.

"Is there a way to treat them?" Derek asked, getting more worried with every word that came from the doctor's mouth.

Barnes looked between the two men and sighed. "This is why I needed to speak to the two of you separately. Doctor Reid obviously can't make any decisions for himself at the moment. As you two are the ones who have the power and right to do so, it would be best to consult the two of you."

"What kind of decision?" Hotch asked.

"Doctor Reid needs surgery. We, unfortunately, won't be able to perform another biopsy," Barnes explained, "since we need to remove as much of the tumors as we can. So we would need to perform a craniotomy."

Both of the agents instantly froze after hearing the last word. "A, uh, a craniotomy?" Derek said, stumbling over his words.

Doctor Barnes gave them a nod; an apologetic look upon his face. "I need an approval and signature from either one of you. As I said, Doctor Reid can't make the choice for himself, so it immediately falls to either one of you."

Hotch swallowed slightly as he looked over at Derek, then to the doctor. "Could we have a few minutes?" he asked.

"Of course, I'll be back in a few minutes. Please, take your time."

"Thank you," Hotch mumbled, watching as the doctor stepped back into Spencer's room, closing the door behind him, before turning to Derek.

"Derek, I understand this is going to be really difficult, but I need you to focus for a few moments. Do you think you could do that?" he asked, laying a hand on the other man's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.

He watched as Morgan took a few deep breaths, trying to get himself to calm down. "Yeah, I can try," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

"Has Reid ever talked to you about any of this?"

Derek looked at Hotch and blinked, trying to recall if this had ever come up during one of their conversations about his treatment over the course of this entire thing. "He, he mentioned that the surgery might end up happening and knew that there would be no way he couldn't go through with it," he explained.

"Then we'll sign off on the surgery," Hotch said and they fell into an awkward silence as they waited for Doctor Barnes to come out. They took the time to register everything they had just been told.

Hotch was still having difficulty, given he had just learned what was going on with his youngest agent in a matter of hours, and he couldn't really digest it all. He knew about the headaches; he knew they were bad. Then everything with Emily on top of that, especially over the fact that Reid didn't want to say anything in fear of being a burden. He was drowning in guilt.

"Don't do that to yourself, Hotch," Derek mumbled, making the other man jump slightly. Hotch looked at him with a questioning stare and Derek shook his head. "We all threw the rule about profiling each other out the window. Don't blame anything on yourself. You didn't know anything because Reid and I made it that way."

Hotch didn't say anything. Logically, he knew Derek was right, but that didn't stop him from feeling the guilt over everything that had transpired over the last year.

They both jumped slightly when they heard the door click open and Doctor Barnes stepped out. "Have you discussed it?"

Hotch and Derek nodded. "Spencer told me that he wouldn't refuse the surgery, so we'll be signing off on it," Derek explained.

"Only one of you will need to sign."

"I'll do it, since I'm his power of attorney," Hotch offered.

"Very well, Agent Hotchner. If you will follow me, we'll get the paperwork sorted out." He looked over at Derek, giving a small smile. "You're welcome to go in and wait in Doctor Reid's room, Agent Morgan. There is a high chance of him waking up soon, and I am predicting him to be more lucid this time."

"Are you sure?" Derek asked. Doctor Barnes nodded.

"The EEG showed positive brain activity, so I feel strongly that he should wake up soon."

"Thank you, Doctor Barnes," Derek said, before grabbing the handle to the door and slowly walking into the dark room.

Doctor Barnes and Hotch waited until Derek had closed the door. "This way," the neurologist said, and led Hotch to the nurses station. They both remained quiet as he walked around the desk and grabbed Reid's file, pulling out the necessary forms, placing them in front of Hotch.

"You'll just need to sign in the designated areas," Barnes explained, pointing to the spots with his pen. Taking the offered pen, Hotch quickly signed everything and pushed the papers towards the doctor to signal that he was done. "Now we're all set."

"I was hoping you could help me with something, if you had the time," Hotch explained.

"I would be happy to help in anyway that I can. I'm not actually on the clock right now, but as Doctor Reid's neuro-oncologist, I was called in."

Hotch took a deep breath. "I don't know how much you know about Reid sharing his diagnosis with us. Our team just found out a few hours ago, and we are completely in the dark on most things. Reid and Morgan kept delaying telling us due to personal circumstances."

"Is your team here?" Hotch nodded. "Then I can definitely help you and answer your questions the best I can."

Hotch gave him a quick, grateful smile. "Thank you. They should still be in the conference room that a nurse brought them to before bringing Derek and I back here."

"You lead the way."

* * *

The rest of the BAU team sat in the conference room slowly, getting more paranoid and worried.

"What do you think is taking so long?" Emily asked, looking to the other three. "It just seems like they've been gone for a while."

"Do you think there might be something serious?" JJ asked.

"Could be, I just want to know something. Hotch and Derek probably got answers, but we've been sitting here in the dark. I just want an update on him," Emily explained.

"I want to know why he pulled Hotch and Derek aside," Garcia said. "What if-"

"Nuh-uh, no if's. We need to stay positive. I'm sure they'll be back soon with an update," Rossi said, hoping to keep them calm. He was doing his best to compartmentalize this current situation, but the fact that this was Reid, who he had become close with now after working with him for over four years, and he just wished they had some sort of news on his condition.

"Why is it always Reid?" JJ mumbled as she crossed her arms, setting them on the table.

"The kid's the fighter. We know he's a fighter -" Rossi was cut off by the door of the conference room opening, followed by Hotch stepping into the room followed by a doctor they hadn't met.

"So?" Garcia immediately blurted out. "How is he? What happened?"

Hotch held up his as a signal to remain quiet so he could explain. "This," he said, gesturing towards the doctor who took a seat at the head of the table. "Is Doctor Barnes. He is Reid's neuro-oncologist, and he will be able to answer any questions we have."

The team turned to Doctor Barnes. "So, what happened?" Garcia asked, repeating her question from earlier.

"Do you know about the secondary tumors?" he asked.

"Not much. I think Morgan mentioned something in the waiting room, but I wasn't too clear on it," Rossi explained.

"Secondary tumors are metastatic tumors that occur when cancerous cells have leaked from the primary tumor," he explained, taking a few seconds to pause so that the others could absorb the information. "More commonly they end up appearing in other areas of the body. In Doctor Reid's case, they have remained close enough to the primary, and are causes more pressure on his right frontal lobe."

"And that's what was causing the seizures?" JJ asked.

Doctor Barnes nodded. "The more pressure that was applied, the side effects increased -mainly the headaches and seizures."

"What is his current condition?" Rossi asked. "Has it improved since he was admitted?"

"When Doctor Reid came in, he had experience four seizures, was unresponsive, and had a high fever. We have an IV for the seizures and something for the fever, which has gone down, and he's only had two mild seizures in the hours that he's been here."

"Has he woken up at all?" Penelope said, the worry and concern evident in her voice.

"For a few seconds here and there. He hasn't been lucid, but that was also during the time where his fever was high. We've gotten the fever down to 100.1. Given that is still slightly high, but he came in with a fever of 103.8."

They remained quiet for a few minutes, obviously trying to make sense of everything they have been told so far. Everything tonight had been overwhelming for them, and they knew this was just the tip of the iceberg.

"What's the next step?" Emily asked, making the others jump, realizing how quiet it actually had been.

Doctor Barnes took a deep breath and let it out before glancing at Hotch who gave a nod in return. "Sometime tomorrow, we'll be performing a craniotomy to remove pieces of the tumors, and hopefully reduce the pressure, and then use chemotherapy to treat anything we couldn't get out."

Once again, the room was silent, and it remained silent. Clearing his throat, Doctor Barnes stood, starting to feel slightly awkward. "If there aren't anymore questions?"

Hotch shook his head. "I think we're okay for now. Thank you," he said as he stood up and shook the doctor's hand. There was a small mumbled 'thank you' from the rest of the team.

"If you have anymore questions, don't be afraid to call," Doctor Barnes said as he handed Hotch his card. Aaron took it and nodded at the doctor, watching him leave until the door clicked shut behind him.

The room was still quiet and they were all unsure of what to do now. Hotch took the time to look around at his team, trying to figure out how they were all dealing with this.

Rossi was doing was Rossi does best: he kept his poker face and didn't show weakness to the others so that they know he is there to support them in anyway he could, but on the inside, he was worried and wished there was something that he could do.

Garcia and JJ were the easiest. They had all been under the impression that Garcia probably knew already, everything up until this point. There was mascara running down her cheek and her hands were entwined with JJ's, who was sitting next to her. JJ was looking down at the table, but not far enough as to where Hotch couldn't see her face. Her blue eyes were filled with tears and were red rimmed. She also had obvious tear stains running down her face. Emily sat straight in her chair, arms crossed over her chest and was staring at the table in front of her. Hotch personally knew what JJ and Emily were feeling, on top of everything they had just learned. The guilt definitely had no problem sticking around and he knew the two female profilers felt the same.

They don't know how long they sat there in silence, lost in their thoughts and emotions. Their heads instantly snapped to the door as it opened and revealed Derek, who had a small smile on his face.

"He's awake."

* * *

Derek let the door shut on its own as he continued to walk into the room. After being in multiple hospital rooms with Spencer after cases, he thought he'd be used to this, but he knew he never would be.

Spencer was on the bed in front of him, laying on his back. There were two electrodes that led to the EEG machine on his head, then more electrodes to monitor his heart. There was an IV taped to the back of his hand, another in his elbow, and a pulse oximeter, blood pressure cuff, as well as a nasal cannula giving him oxygen.

Derek stepped closer and grabbed the closest chair, dragging it to Spencer's bedside. The younger man was too pale and looked way too small in the bed.

He blinked back tears as he reached forward and grabbed Spencer's hand, thankful that it wasn't the one with the IV.

Derek began rubbing smooth circles with his thumb over Spencer's hand and he squeezed it, hoping that Spencer would squeeze it back.

"Hey, Spence," Derek croaked out, finally deciding to let the tears fall. "You need to wake up. I need to see those hazel eyes of yours."

He watched Spencer's face, his closed eyelids, waiting for a response.

Derek bit his lip and squeezed Spencer's hand again. Nothing.

"I promised myself that I wouldn't let you see me cry," Derek said, choking on the last word. "I had to break that promise, baby boy. I just want you to wake up. I need you here, Spence."

Keeping his hand in Spencer's, Derek leaned forward, resting his head on the empty spot on Spencer's bed and crying into his arm. "God, I wish there was someway I could take your place."

Derek let himself cry. He's never been this scared. This felt like Georgia and the anthrax mixed together, and it hurt.

Derek sat in that dark room, tears falling freely and never letting go of Spencer's hand. He didn't know how much time had passed, and he figured he should go talk to the rest of the team, but he shot that down because he wanted to be there when Spencer woke up. He had to be there.

Another few minutes passed and Derek's head shot up when he felt a weak squeeze in his hand.

He stood up and stepped closer to the bed. He quickly began running a hand through Spencer's hair. "Come on, baby boy. Wake up for me," he whispered, squeezing Spencer's hand again.

When there was a slightly stronger response, he couldn't help but grin. Then there was a small moan from Spencer.

"Open those eyes of yours, Spencer, I need to see them again," Derek whispered to him as he continued to urge Spencer to wake up.

A few minutes passed before Spencer's eyes slowly began to open, blinking slightly. Derek watched as they glanced around the dark room before finally settling on his own.

"Spence?"

Spencer licked his chapped lips. "Derek, where are we?" His voice was scratchy from lack of use.

Derek began to cry again as he bent down and kissed Spencer's forehead. "Pretty Boy, you do not even know how happy I am to see you awake."

"How long have I've been out?"

"A few hours. What was the last thing you remember?"

He watched as Spencer's looked down at the bed as he tried to recall his last memory. "We were getting ready to go to Rossi's, and then I think I had another seizure."

Derek nodded. "You did, a severe one."

"So, I'm in the hospital?"

Derek nodded and kissed Spencer. "There's some things you need to know," Derek began as he sat back down in his seat next to the bed.

"Oh?"

"First of all, the team knows," Derek watched Spencer's face for a reaction, hoping that getting that out in the open would be best.

"How, uh, what. What happened?" His voice was still scratchy. Derek got up and walked over to the tray table, grabbing a cup of water and a straw. Holding it to Reid's mouth, he helped him take a few sips before sitting back down.

"Garcia's hospital alert thing notified her while they were at Rossi's. She called me and I couldn't explain anything over the phone. She brought them here and I told them everything."

"Everything? Even about us?"

Derek nodded and smiled slightly. "Turns out Rossi and Hotch knew it before we did."

"How did they react to the news?"

"I'm still not entirely sure. They're here if you want to see them."

Spencer took a few moments and nodded. "They must be worried. I don't want to keep them like that for longer."

"I'll call for Doctor Barnes and while he's talking to you, I'll go get the team?" Spencer nodded in response and Derek kissed his forehead again before pushing the call button for the nurse.

A few minutes later, Nurse Carrie and Doctor Barnes walked into the room. Seeing that their patient was finally awake and what looked to be lucid, they smiled.

"I'm going to take your vitals, Doctor Reid. Also, nice to finally see you awake. I'm Carrie and I'll be your nurse for the rest of the night," Carrie explained with a smile as she went around, taking the numbers from the pulse oximeter and blood pressure. "I'll be back later," and with that, she left the room.

"Good to see you awake, Spencer. You had us worried for a while there," Doctor Barnes said as he stepped closer to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

Spencer licked his lips and shrugged. "The headache is still there, slightly less intense, but not by much," he admitted.

Derek stood up and squeezed Spencer's hand. "I'm going to get the rest of the team."

Doctor Barnes nodded. "It'll only take a few minutes to explain everything."

Stealing another quick kiss from Spencer, Derek made his way to the door. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

After Derek left, Spencer looked up at the doctor. "I'm guessing we're doing the craniotomy?" he asked.

Barnes gave him a sympathetic look and nodded. "It will be the quickest way to decrease the pressure and allow us to treat the smaller tumors with chemotherapy."

Spencer nodded in understanding. "When?"

"I would prefer to get it done as soon as possible, so I will be scheduling it for tomorrow, if that's alright?"

"Yeah," Spencer said, though the worry was obvious. He read many different stories about how the procedure went: recovery and all. The idea of his skull being opened was a little bit frightening.

"It'll most likely be scheduled for the afternoon, so we'll prep you for surgery in the morning. I'm sure I can spare you the details of the procedure. Afterward, we'll be able to discuss recovery and future treatment. I'll see you in the morning," and after a pat on Spencer's leg, Doctor Barnes left the room.

Spencer nodded and didn't say anything, letting himself fall into his mind and go over everything he knew. A knock on the door pulled him back and he glanced up to see Derek's head popping in.

"Ready for some visitors?"

Suddenly feeling nervous, all Spencer could do was nod. Derek smiled in return and opened the door wider to allow the rest of the team in. He watched as everyone walked in, his nerves increasing. Taking a deep breath, he sat up a little and gave them an awkward wave.

"Hey guys."


	11. Chapter 11

"He's awake."

"Like, awake awake?" JJ asked as she and the rest of the team stood up.

Derek nodded and was unable to keep the smile off his face. "He's awake, lucid, talking: everything. He's still in a little pain, but that's to be expected. He wants to see you guys."

The team was slightly shocked. They were sure Spencer would wait until after the surgery, but they were happy nonetheless.

"Then let's go see my baby genius," Garcia said, stepping forward and linking an arm with Derek. She wiped away the mascara under her eyes as Derek led her and the rest of the team to Spencer's room.

As they rounded the corner, they saw Doctor Barnes stepping out. He gave them a happy smile and waved as they got closer. "He's still awake. I think all of your support is what he needs right now. Don't worry about visiting hours and all that. Have a good night," he said before walking away.

Derek stepped up to the door, knocked, and popped his head in after opening it. He smiled when he saw that Spencer was still awake and the bed had been moved so that he was in a slight sitting up position.

"Ready for some visitors?" Derek could see the nervous look on Spencer's face and he knew that he was probably fighting with himself on what to do. He smiled when he saw the small nod and opened the door. Garcia and he walked in first, followed by the rest of team.

"Hey guys," Spencer said, his voice cracking slightly. Derek immediately returned to his seat next to the bed and grabbed Spencer's hand.

"Hey, Pretty Boy, look at me," Derek whispered to him, leaning forward. When Spencer's eyes met his, he squeezed his hand. "Everything's okay. You're fine. There is nothing to be nervous about. Alright?"

Spencer bit his lip and looked quickly around at the rest of the team, before returning to Derek and nodding. Derek smiled. "I'm going to be right here, I'm not going anywhere."

Derek turned back to the rest of the team and smiled, beckoning for them to come closer to the bed.

Garcia was the first to come over and wrapped her arms around Spencer, being careful of all the wires and IVs attached to him. She grinned when she felt his arms wrap around her and his face immediately went to her shoulder. She ran a hand up and down his back. "You had me scared there, 187," she whispered into his ear. "You're gonna make me go gray early," she teased as she pulled back, quickly kissing his cheek.

Spencer blushed but, still gave her a small smile. "You'd find a way to rock it, though," he joked.

"And there's the kid I know and love," she said as she ruffled his hair and stepped away so the rest of the team could see him better.

They all took note as he had immediately started to play with the frayed edges of the hospital blanket and avoided making eye contact with anyone but Morgan or Garcia.

Spencer closed his eyes and rubbed them with his hands. The headache was still there and the nerves just seemed to be making it worse. "I'm sorry," he began, voice cracking, "that I didn't tell you guys sooner."

"Spence-" JJ began, but stopped as Spencer shook his head.

"No, I really am sorry. I know it was probably stupid for me to keep all of this from you, especially when the side effects of things could have easily made me a hazard to have out in the field," he rambled.

"And I'm sorry the way I've been acting," he said as he looked up and quickly made contact with JJ, Emily, and Hotch. "I had no right treating you guys like that when I was hiding a secret like this. God, I'm a hypocrite." He ran a hand through his hair and returned to looking at the blanket.

The team looked at each other: this wasn't what they were expecting at all.

It was Hotch who stepped forward and moved to the other side of Spencer's bed, sitting on the edge. He gently grabbed Spencer's chin and turned his head so that he was looking at him.

"Reid-Spencer. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. Absolutely nothing," he said. His voice was soft and gentle, something that the team wasn't used to with their unit chief.

Spencer's bottom lip trembled slightly and he cleared his throat. Hotch dropped his hand but Spencer didn't stop looking at him. "I shouldn't have hidden this though. I feel so stupid-"

"Reid, with an IQ of 187, the word 'stupid' is nothing that applies to you," Rossi said as he stepped closer to the foot of the bed. "We understand."

"He's right," Hotch said. "You did what you felt the need to do. We understand that. This was something huge, and none of us could understand what you were going through." Surprising the younger agent, Hotch wrapped his arms around Spencer, smiling at the tiny squeak that he heard, but was relieved when he felt the thin arms wrap around him. "Don't think about the past, just know that we're going to be here for you."

He stood up, moving to the foot of the bed to stand next to Rossi. The room watched as Emily and JJ moved closer to the bed and everyone immediately knew what needed to happen.

"Does anyone want coffee?" Rossi asked. Everyone's eyes shot to him and they knew what he was doing.

"I could go for something," Hotch said.

Derek smiled slightly as he caught on. "I am definitely craving coffee, I'll come with you." He gently squeezed Spencer's hand as he stood up and walked over to the other two. "How about you, Baby Girl?"

"Count me in!"

The four of them left, closing the door behind them, leaving Emily and JJ alone with Spencer.

Emily moved to Derek's chair as JJ took the spot on the bed where Hotch previously sat. They were silent, not sure of who was going to say something first or how to even go about any of this.

"Obviously, the three of us need to talk," Emily said as she broke the silence.

Spencer looked between the two of them and wrapped his arms around his stomach. "I am so sorry for the way I've been treating you," he muttered.

"Spence," JJ said as she reached forward and took both of his hands in her own. "With your memory, I'm surprised you forgot what Hotch just said," she teased lightly. "You have nothing to be sorry for, so stop apologizing."

"She's right, Reid. It's us who should be apologizing."

Spencer shook his head. "You already did though, and I ignored it."

"Reid," Emily said as she leaned forward. "Derek told us why you were waiting to tell us. And I don't know how to even make up for that. I feel horrible."

"Please don't," Spencer pleaded. "There's no need for that."

JJ sighed and shook her head. "Spence, we understand. We do. And I definitely need to apologize."

"No, you-"

"Yes, I do," JJ exclaimed, quickly cutting Spencer off. "First, I need to apologize for accusing you of hiding behind your headaches. I felt horrible when Derek explained why you missed the dinners with Henry." Spencer went to open his mouth, but JJ released her hold on his hand so she could clamp hers over his mouth. "You're going to let me finish here," she said as she pulled her hand away. Satisfied with the nod, JJ continued. "I had no right to do any of that. And the argument in Kansas, I still hate how I acted. I know most of it was because I missed you."

"I missed you too," Spencer whispered, causing JJ to smile.

"I don't know how you could ever forgive me, but I just want you to know that you're not alone in this, never think that you are."

"I do want my big sister around," Spencer said, looking at her with a smile. She grinned in return and hugged him. "Don't worry, little brother, I'm not going anywhere." With a gentle squeeze, they pulled apart.

Emily grinned as she watched them, relieved that Spencer actually wanted to talk about all this.

"Reid," Emily began and waited for Spencer to look at her. "I know you don't hear it, but I still want to say it. If I could go back and change everything, I would. I wish I had asked you more about the headaches, and I just hope that we can eventually go back to what we had."

Spencer licked his lips. "If you stop saying sorry, I'll make sure that I apologize for the ulcer, and that's that."

While JJ gave them a confused look, Emily couldn't help but grin. "Deal," she got up and gave him a hug. "I've missed you, handsome," she whispered and rubbed his back.

"You still owe me that movie," Spencer said after Emily sat back down in the quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "Solaris."

Emily smirked slightly after realizing what he meant and shook her head. "Alright, Doctor Reid, you and I will have a lovely date night that includes a dinner and a 5 hour long movie."

"Just don't tell Derek," Spencer deadpanned. Emily and JJ immediately burst out laughing. Despite trying his best to keep the face, he soon joined them in laughing.

"Speaking of which," JJ began after the three of them had calmed down. "I need to give him the shovel talk."

Emily snorted. "Please let me be there for that. That is something I definitely don't want to miss."

Spencer looked at the two of them, obviously confused. "What's the shovel talk?" Both Emily and JJ looked at him then looked at each and fell into another round of giggles.

Spencer remained quiet as he watched the two of them and waited for their giggle fit to finish.

"Sorry, Reid," Emily said, being the first of the two to pull herself back together. "I should've remembered that you didn't even know the kissing song."

"The kissing song? What kissing song?"

JJ shook her head. "Don't worry about that, Spence. The shovel talk is when someone incredibly close to you lectures your boyfriend or girlfriend on if they hurt you in anyway, they will threaten to hurt them."

"Basically, JJ is going to tell Derek if he hurts you, he's gotta deal with JJ. A pissed off JJ, mind you," Emily explained, giggling at the mock glare JJ shot her.

"I think a pissed off JJ is almost as scary as a pissed off Garcia," Spencer joked.

"Oh yes," Emily agreed. "Garcia could destroy someone's life with a push of the button." The thought easily sent them into another laughing fit.

* * *

Hotch, Rossi, Derek, and Garcia were sitting in the corner of the waiting room of the ER, each nursing a mug of hospital coffee.

"How do you think it's going in there?" Garcia asked.

Rossi shrugged. "Hopefully well. The tension between Reid and JJ on the last case was suffocating."

"They needed it though," Hotch pointed out. The other three nodded in agreement.

"It's also probably working as a distraction from his headache," Derek said as he took another sip of his coffee.

"Then even better that they're doing this now."

They grew silent again, thankfully a comfortable one. They figured that Spencer, Emily, and JJ were going to need a little time to make sure they got everything out.

"I hope things are going to be a little easier now that everyone knows," Penelope spoke up a few minutes later.

"You knew already, I take it?" Rossi asked.

"We had no choice but to tell her," Derek responded.

"Does this have to do with the thing you were talking about earlier?" Hotch asked. When Garcia nodded, Hotch raised an eyebrow. "I thought we talked about you doing things."

"It wasn't that kind of thing."

"What kind of thing is it then?"

"Hotch, man, not going to lie. I am extremely thankful that she has this," Derek told him.

"What is it?" Rossi asked as they watched Garcia pull her tablet out of her bag and open an app.

"It's an alert system. I coded the program and app myself, and it's only available to me," she explained. "It tells me if any of your names are admitted into a hospital."

"That's how you knew how to come here?" Rossi asked.

"Yeah, it doesn't go into too many details though. It tells me who and where. That's it."

Derek nodded. "That's how she found out. The day of the biopsy, we came home and she was sitting on our couch. We just told her everything."

"And a good thing at that," Rossi pointed out.

"This is definitely a thing I approve of," Hotch joked as he downed the rest of his coffee. The other three chuckled slightly.

Rossi looked at his watch. "It's been almost an hour, think we could go crash their little party?"

The others laughed and agreed. Disposing of their coffee, they made their way back to Spencer's room.

The door was closed and Derek was about to knock before he heard laughing coming from the other side. He looked at the others with an amused look upon his face and grinned. "I think it's safe to say everything is just fine."

He slowly opened the door and the team smiled at what they saw. JJ was sitting next to Spencer, his head resting on her shoulder as she ran a hand through his hair. He was completely relaxed and looked almost half asleep. Emily was sitting on the edge of the bed. Their faces were still slightly red from the laughing and they hadn't even noticed that the door had opened.

"The Wonder Twins and the Raven Hair Beauty are back together it seems," Penelope said as she walked into the room.

The three turned to see the others at the door and smiled as they walked into the room. Derek moved right back to his seat as the other three took spaces standing close to the bed.

"Wonder Twins?" Spencer questioned, sounding like he just woke and looked over at Garcia. "The Wonder Twins are superheroes published by DC Comics, their first episode airing in syndication in 1977. As I understand they're nicknames, though I don't get how they apply to JJ and I, considering we look nothing alike."

Everyone immediately started cracking up, the sensation of normality welcomed with open arms.

"And there's the little brother I've missed so much," JJ teased as she ruffled his hair.

Derek leaned over and kissed Spencer on the top of his head, causing the rest of the team to grin.

Spencer looked around at the team and for the first time in a long time, a genuine smile crossed his face.

This was the first time after a year that everything felt right. This was the team that brought down The Reaper. This was the team who risked their jobs to save a young boy and avenge the death of one of their own but were lucky enough to know she was alive. At this moment there wasn't the feeling of dread when opening the case that involved children, or another sleepless night trying to find the next unsub.

And to Spencer there was no cancer, no headaches. There was only him, Derek and the rest of his, his family.

"I've missed you guys," he mumbled and closed his eyes, falling asleep in seconds.

The team smiled as they watched their youngest sleep.

"This is the first time in a while I've seen him that relaxed," Derek told him, smiling.

"Good, he definitely needs the rest," JJ whispered as she continued to run a hand through Spencer's hair. "I just wish it wasn't on my shoulder, I don't wanna wake him up."

Derek shook his head. "Don't worry, he's going to be out. Lemme help you move him." He stood up and gently pulled Spencer up so JJ could move from the spot. The two then easily moved him so his head was on the pillow.

They all turned when they doo opened and they saw Nurse Carrie walk in, followed by a phlebotomist.

Carrie smiled at the group and grinned when she Spencer sleeping peacefully in the bed. "Y'all don't need to go home but I need to ask you to leave the room for a few minutes. I need to take his vitals and Jamie," she pointed to the phlebotomist, "is going to take some blood samples and cultures."

The others nodded and stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind them.

"Did the doctor tell you when they're going to do the surgery?" Emily asked. It had been a question on all of their minds since they were told about the craniotomy.

Derek shook his head. "He didn't say anything to me. Spencer maybe, we can ask him when we go back."

"You mentioned that you discussed it before," Hotch said. "How does he feel about the whole thing?"

"That's something I've been wondering too," Rossi explained. "Knowing Reid, he knows how to do the entire procedure on his own."

The others laughed at that comment and Derek shrugged a shoulder. "We talked about it, not in full, but we discussed it. We knew that it could happen, just never expected when." He took a deep breath before continuing. "He knows the statistics and he knows how it's done, so that doesn't help the nerves."

"It's because of his brain," Hotch said as he connected everything. "The basics I know of the surgery lead it to be incredibly intrusive and considering the areas that the doctor mentioned had the tumors, it's going to be a little too close for comfort to Reid."

They all nodded in agreement, all knowing how much Spencer depended on his genius, how he was scared of anything happening to it.

"I'm already anticipating the panic attack," Derek told them. "Plus, I need to try to talk him into getting a narcotic."

They all grimaced at the thought. Even after Spencer got shot, he had a prescription for Tramadol, but they knew he never actually took them.

"He's going to fight it, he always has, but this time he can't. He's going to need something with strength, but it could be possible to keep it at a low and monitored dosage," Hotch suggested.

"Doctor Barnes said the same thing. I'm still nervous of even bringing it up to him," Derek admitted as he ran a hand over his head.

They all gave him a sympathetic look. "Don't worry, my chocolate adonis, everything will work out just fine. You'll see," Garcia said as she walked over to Derek and kissed him on the cheek.

"That's one of my favorite things about you, baby girl," Derek said, hugging Garcia. "You know how to keep us optimistic."

"My pleasure," Penelope said as she grinned and winked.

A few minutes later, Spencer's door opened again, Jamie and Carrie walking out. "All done. He's awake again," Carrie told them, giving the team an apologetic look.

"Don't worry about it," Rossi told her giving her a smile.

Carrie grinned. "Go right back in. Just push the button if he or you guys need me for anything," and she turned to back to the nurses station.

They walked back into the room and saw Spencer laying on his side, but he was definitely awake. He turned and looked at them as they walked into the room.

"You guys know you don't need to be here all night, right?" Spencer said, as he turned onto his back and sat up a little more.

"Trying to get rid of us already, Spence?" JJ teased as she sat next to him on the bed.

He smiled in return and shook his head. "There's no reason to spend the rest of the night here."

"You're here, kiddo," Rossi told him, smiling when Reid looked up at him. "We're not going anywhere."

"What about Jack-"

"He's on a camping trip with Bobby."

"Okay, but Henry-"

"Is going to spend the weekend at Six Flags America with Will this weekend for some bonding."

"Your date night with Kevin-"

"Out of state visiting his parents, sweetie."

"Face it, Reid," Emily said as she took a seat at the end of his bed. "You're stuck with us."

"Reid, we're all in this together. We're here for you. Like a family," Rossi told him.

"And family is permanent, baby boy. We're not going anywhere," Derek said as he took a seat next to Spencer on the bed and pulled him to his chest, an arm wrapped around his waist.

"Mmm, permanent. I like that word," Spencer mumbled as he leaned into Derek.

Everyone grinned at the comment. Derek kissed Spencer on the head and pulled him a little closer. "Me too, Pretty Boy, me too."

* * *

Spencer was obviously falling asleep and Derek was getting tired himself. He looked around at the team and then to his watch.

"You guys should go home," he said quietly. He ran his hand through Spencer's hair, knowing that would help keep him asleep. "I know you want to stay, but it's almost 3 in the morning. Nothing's going to happen tonight."

They all looked ready to object but before any of them had the chance to say anything, Spencer spoke up. "He's right. I feel bad enough that you've been here so long-"

"Spence-"

"No. Go home. I'll make sure Derek calls you once we know more about the craniotomy," his eyes had never opened, his position in Derek's arms never moved. "I promise."

Derek smiled and kissed Spencer on the forehead. "I wouldn't fight with him," he joked, the rest of the team laughed slightly.

"As unit chief, I'm ordering everyone to go home," Hotch said, smirking slightly at the shocked faces.

"You're pulling rank to make us go home and sleep?" Emily asked.

Hotch nodded and she shrugged. "Stranger things have happened."

"Night guys!" Emily said and left the room. Both Hotch and Rossi echoed her parting words before following out the door. JJ had stepped closer to the bed and kissed Spencer on the forehead before setting a glare at Derek.

He raised an eyebrow. "What that's for?"

"You and I need to talk a little later," she smirked and left the room.

"Do you have any idea what she's talking about?" Derek asked, looking at Penelope. "What did I do?"

Penelope shrugged. "If you did something to make her angry, I honestly have no idea. She hasn't said anything to me."

"She wants to give to you the shovel talk," Spencer mumbled. "Whatever that is."

"Oh PLEASE let me be there for that," Garcia squealed, giggling slightly at the thought. She stepped closer to the pair on the bed and kissed them both on the cheek. "Now, you will call me the moment you know something's going to happen. If you don't, well to quote Derek, 'payback's a bitch."

"Don't worry, he will or he's stuck on the couch," Spencer told her, smirking at the surprised look on Derek's face. "Don't worry. Clooney can keep me company."

"Now wait a minute-" Derek began was quickly cut off by both Penelope and Spencer laughing. He let out a sigh, defeated. "Yeah, yeah. Now go home, baby girl, we'll see you later."

"Night, my doves!"

After the door closed, Derek began rubbing his hand up and down Spencer's arm. "How are you feeling?"

Spencer looked up at him and shrugged. "Depends."

"How so?"

"Are you asking emotionally or physically?"

"I'm pretty sure it's safe to go with both."

Spencer bit his lip and shrugged. "Physically I'm feeling like I have been. The headache, while not too intense, is still present, and I think the fever finally went away." He sighed. "Emotionally, I, I don't know yet."

Neither said anything as Derek repositioned both of them. He moved so that he was more on the bed and that Spencer was in between his legs, his back on Derek's chest. Derek wrapped his arms around Spencer's waist and guided Spencer's head so it was on his shoulder. After settling down, he kissed Spencer's temple and tightened his hold.

"No one's expecting you to be okay with any of this, Pretty Boy. Especially since you found out how close the procedure now is," Derek admitted.

"I think I'm still trying to accept the fact that it's actually going to happen," Spencer explained as he felt his lip start to tremble. He was quiet and the only sound was the occasional beep from the multiple machines. Derek looked over when the machine monitoring Spencer's heart rate began to speed up and he could feel Spencer begin to shake.

He quickly sat both of them up and rubbed one hand over Spencer's chest, another in his hair. Even though he was on oxygen, Spencer's breathing was a little too quick.

"My chest hurts," Spencer whispered before releasing a low moan.

"I know, baby boy, I know," Derek whispered into his ear. "We both knew this was going to happen, but I need you to breathe. We're going to calm you down. So, breathe, match me. I'm right behind you. Slowly breathe it in and let it out." Derek continued to coach him until Spencer's breathing matched his.

"You're doing good, Spence, you're doing good. How's your chest?"

"Feels a little better," Spencer whispered as he tried to snuggle closer to Derek, needing to touch the other man and be as close to him as he could.

Derek nodded and kissed his head. "Just breathe, everything is going to be alright."

"I'm sorry," he heard Spencer mumble after a few seconds.

Derek shook his head, not caring that Spencer couldn't see him. "Don't, Spencer. I'm surprised it took this long for it to happen."

They both fell silent. Derek was sure Spencer had fallen asleep and he was left alone with his thoughts. So much had happened that day and they were nowhere near done. In a matter of hours, everything had come out in the open, and Derek could feel himself tearing up once everything had finally hit him.

The fear he felt when he couldn't wake Spencer up. How worried he was when he was awake but didn't recognize where he was. The agonizing wait in the waiting room alone and the stress of having to explain everything to their team once they joined him.

He kissed the top of Spencer's head and he pulled the skinnier man tighter as he let the tears fall.

"Derek, please don't cry," Spencer's soft voice said as it reached his ears. Derek looked down as his gaze met that of Spencer's and his heart broke when he saw the fear and worry in the hazel orbs.

"I just hate to see you like this, baby boy," Derek choked out, giving Spencer a small smile.

Spencer didn't say anything as he turned more in Derek's arms and wrapped his around Derek's waist, shoving his face into his shoulder. "I'm here though, and I'm not going anywhere," he murmured.

Derek chuckled slightly. "Good, because you belong right here."

Finding comfort in one another, the two fell asleep, escaping from their reality, if only for a couple of hours.

They went undisturbed until about nine in the morning when the nurses shift changed. A new nurse named Barbara had come into the room, waking both of them up. After greeting them, she took Spencer's vitals.

"Sorry to wake you up," she had said as she checked the levels of Spencer's IV. Spencer gave her a small smile and shrugged. Derek chuckled slightly, knowing Spencer wasn't a morning person, especially without his coffee.

"Well, your fever has finally gone away," she informed them as she wrote in the chart.

"About time," Derek mumbled and maneuvered himself to stand up from the bed. Stretching, he couldn't help but grin when he heard a small whine from Spencer and turned to see him glaring. He didn't say anything as he shook his head and laughed a little.

"I'll leave you two alone for now. Doctor Barnes should be in around 10 to explain everything about your surgery this afternoon."

"Thank you," Derek said, and waved as the nurse left the room. The door closed and he turned back to Spencer, who was already half asleep.

"Get back here," Spencer mumbled.

"Can't do that yet," Derek said as he leaned over and kissed Spencer.

"Not fair," Spencer whined as Derek pulled away. "You can't kiss me and stay where you are."

Derek laughed. "What if I said I was going to get you coffee?"

"I can't have coffee, so you can stay here."

"Why can't you have coffee?"

"I can't consume food or liquids except small amounts of water prior to a procedure," Spencer explained.

"Damn," Derek cursed and rubbed a hand over his face. "Well, so I don't get my ass kicked by a couple of blondes. I'll go call Garcia and update her - she can inform the rest of the team, and then I'm all yours until they get here."

He watched as Spencer thought it over a moment and then nodded as he snuggled into the bed and closed his eyes. "Don't take too long."

Derek kissed him on the forehead and ran a hand through his hair. He waited for Spencer's breathing to even out and knew the younger man fell asleep. He quietly stepped out of the room, ready to update the team.

Derek was thankful for the somewhat quiet cafeteria as he took his crap coffee and sat down at a table in the corner. Sighing, he took his phone out of his pocket and selected Garcia's number from the contact list.

He wasn't surprised when it was answered after a single ring. "What've you heard? Has he talked to the doctor? Are they doing the surgery today? Is he okay?"

Derek couldn't help but smile. "Slow down, slow down."

"Derek Morgan, you better-"

"Right now, he's fine. He hasn't talked to the doctor, he's coming to talk to us in about an hour," he explained, taking a quick glance at his watch. "They're planning to do the surgery today though."

"How-" Garcia began. Derek could hear her trying not to cry. "How's Reid?"

Derek sighed. "After everyone left last night, he did have a panic attack."

"Oh, my poor baby genius."

"It sort of just hit us both. At the moment though, he's asleep and feeling alright."

"And how are you, chocolate thunder?"

Derek grinned again. "You know me so well, Baby Girl," he chuckled. "All things considered, I'm okay," he admitted.

"We're all here for both of you. We wouldn't dare let you guys do this alone," Garcia told him.

Derek looked at the time again and sighed. "We definitely appreciate that, we really do. I actually need to be getting back to Spencer's room so I make sure I don't miss the doctor. Is there something you could do for me?"

"Anything."

"Could you update the rest of the team?"

"Consider it done, sweetie. What time would you like us to be there?"

"Anytime after 11 that works for you guys."

"I'll let them know. Now you get your fine self back to 187."

"Exactly my plan. See ya later, mama."

When Derek returned to Spencer's room, he smiled when he found him still asleep. He quietly closed the door behind him and moved to sit on the bed next to Spencer, running a hand through his hair. He grinned when Spencer moaned slightly and moved closer to him.

"About time you got back," Spencer mumbled, eyes still closed.

"Sorry I took so long. Anyone show up while I was gone?"

Spencer rolled onto his back and shrugged. "If they did, I didn't wake up," he sat up and rubbed his eyes before looking at Derek. "What time is it anyway?"

"Quarter of ten."

"You were gone that long?"

Derek nodded. "It took me a little while to find the cafeteria and then I didn't want to bring coffee in here."

"Good, that would just be a cruel punishment I'm sure I did nothing to deserve," he joked. "Did you get a hold of Garcia?"

Derek nodded. "She's gonna call the others and they'll be here later."

"I can object to them wasting their day here, but I know nothing I say will change their minds."

Derek grinned. "You're finally catching on," he teased and ruffled Spencer's hair. "How're you feeling?"

Spencer shrugged. "Slightly better, especially now that the fever is gone. The headache still hasn't gone away though."

Derek nodded. Spencer looked over and grabbed Derek's arm, pulling him closer to himself on the bed. Derek chuckled and knew what he was supposed to do next. He wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulder and pulled the young genius as close as he could to him.

"Don't move from this spot until you have to," Spencer whispered as he closed his eyes. He turned his head and relaxed into Derek's side, resting his head near Derek's neck.

Derek knew from being with Spencer for so long that this was how he was trying to calm himself down and not outright show that he was scared.

"Wasn't planning on it," Derek told him.

They sat there both watching the clock, waiting for the doctor to come in and talk about the one thing that was making the two more and more nervous.

The minutes passed and they were still waiting. They knew Doctor Barnes wasn't going to be in at 10 on the dot, but each passing second they just wanted to get everything over with.

Almost a half hour later there was a knock at the door. Knowing it was time, Derek and Spencer separated themselves from one another. Derek moved to the chair and Spencer sat up, but the two of them still were holding on to each other's hand. The door opened and Doctor Barnes stepped in, followed by both Nurse Barbara and a man in a lab coat that neither recognized.

"Good morning, Doctor Reid, Agent Morgan," Barnes greeted as he stood at the edge of the bed. The other man standing next to him as the nurse went about checking Spencer's vitals once again.

Spencer gave a slightly awkward wave and Derek had to bite the inside of his cheek to suppress a smile, but nodded a greeting.

"This is Doctor Nicholas Stern," he gestured to the man standing next to him. "He will be the surgeon assisting me with the operation today."

"Nice to meet you," Derek said as he leaned forward and shook Stern's offered hand.

"Now, Doctor Reid, as you already know, today we'll performing a craniotomy and hoping to safely remove both the secondary tumors along with as much as the primary tumor as we can. Now, while I'm sure you can already tell me everything there is, we would like to answer any many questions that you and Agent Morgan may have."

Spencer nodded and looked over to Derek, who knew that Spencer wanted to ask the questions, nut knew Spencer might end up getting anxious and nervous.

"Our first question was just a general overview of how everything is going to go today," Derek said, looking at the two men.

"Prior to actually bringing him down to the OR, we've ordered a CT scan with a dye injection so that the tumors and lesions show up on the scan and stick out more. After that we've also ordered an arteriogram," Stern explained.

"What's an arteriogram?" Derek asked.

"It's an x-ray of the blood vessels injected with a dye to visualize a tumor," Spencer quickly rambled off and made sure he avoided the shocked look from Doctor Stern. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"No problem at all, Doctor Reid," Doctor Barnes told him quickly and shook his head, already familiar with Spencer's genius outbursts.

"After the tests, he'll be brought to the surgical wing of the hospital, where we will begin to prep him for surgery. The anesthesiologist will meet us there and set up the anesthesia for the procedure. We will also then shave the area where we're planning to operate, making it easier to map out the area and mark it for surgery," Barnes told him.

Derek looked over at Spencer and squeezed his hand, knowing he was going to need the reassurance. "Didn't tell me about the hair part, Pretty Boy," he whispered. "We'll have Garcia fix it for you when you go home." Spencer didn't say anything, but Derek smiled when he Spencer squeezed his hand back.

Doctor Barnes smiled at the pair before continuing. "Now, I'll spare you the details of the procedure. The actual surgery will take at least four hours and could last up to eight. After that, you'll be immediately moved to a recovery room for observation until you're moved to the ICU to be closely monitored. The length of your stay in the ICU will be for at two days, to make sure everything remains stable before you're moved to a room in the neurosurgical nursing unit for the rest of your stay," Stern concluded.

"How long is the usual hospital stay?" Derek asked.

"It usually depends on the patient, but on average it can be anywhere from 6 to 15 days," Stern replied.

"What kind of things can we expect once he's out of the surgery?"

"There will be breathing exercises that he'll be taught to make sure the lungs stay clear. During and a little time after major surgeries, mucus begins to build up in the lungs, and we want to be able to fight off pneumonia," Barnes explained. "In addition ways to avoid blood clotting, movement so there may be a physical therapist."

Stern then took over. "There are a few risks that would determine how other things in the recovery time are treated."

"What kind of risks?" Derek felt Spencer squeezing his hand tight and hoped that they could avoid another panic attack.

"Neurological surgeries have a list of risks that could occur. Infection, bleeding, and blood clots are the more common ones. There's also potential risks of damage to the surrounding brain tissue that leads to a whole separate list, but we're extremely confident that the damage won't happen," he explained. "Other things would be unstable blood pressure, seizures and muscle weakness."

"So, stuff we're already accustom to," Derek mumbled and looked over at Spencer, who was just sort of staring at his lap. Derek had seen him like this before. About the time of the knee surgery after he was shot, Spencer was worried about the pain and everything else. "What about pain management?"

Spencer squeezed Derek's hand as his head instantly snapped up at the question. This had been the one thing he was extremely nervous about.

"We know about you request of non-narcotics drugs and sticking to NSAIDs," Doctor Barnes began looking at the pair.

"I sense the 'but' coming," Spencer mumbled as he ran his free hand through his hair before cracking his jaw.

"We wanted to see if we could negotiate a slightly different plan," Stern finished for Doctor Barnes.

Both Derek and Spencer looked at the pair of doctors with interest. "While in the ICU we strongly suggest a use of narcotic drugs, and that's only to aid your recovery along faster," seeing that Spencer was going to try to object, Doctor Barnes hurried to explain. "Agent Hotchner spoke to me about the conditions and incident leading to your request. We'll keep you under general sedation for the first twelve hours after the procedure, then switch you to timed, mild doses of morphine. Then switch you to a strong cocktail of NSAIDs when you're moved from the ICU."

Derek quickly turned to Spencer who had returned to looking down at his lap. Grabbing Spencer's chin lightly, Derek turned Spencer's head so they were looking at one another. Derek bit his lip when he saw the unshed tears and could feel Spencer's hands shaking.

"Spencer, kid, listen to me okay?" He waited until he got the small nod. "Doctor Barnes knows what he's doing, and I strongly think this is the best idea."

Spencer's eyes darted to different spots before looking back at Derek and he licked his lips. "What, but, what if it's like before? After Georgia?" his voice was rough and cracked.

"We're not going to let it go to that point."

"You can't promise that," Spencer said, biting his lip.

"I won't let it happen. Trust me, baby boy. This will be better. Okay?"

Spencer was quiet for a few minutes as Derek watched him. It was the same look he got when they were out on a case, waiting for the next lead, and Spencer stared at the evidence more, taking in every variable and fact, trying to make sense of everything. After another minute or two, Spencer closed his eyes and opened them. "Okay," he whispered as the tears fell.

Derek wiped away a few stray tears with a nod and kissed Spencer on the forehead. "I won't let anything happen." He then turned to the doctors and nodded.

Barnes nodded and marked it down in the file. "Are there any other questions?"

Derek shook his head. "I'm sure there will be later o,n but at the moment I think we're fine. What time is the surgery scheduled for?"

Looking down at the clipboard in his hand, Doctor Stern answered. "We have the CT scheduled for 2:30, and the arteriogram after that. We'll then bring him to start the IV and anesthesia after, so he'll be in the OR around 4:30."

"We'll be back around 2 to start getting everything ready. We'll see you later." Doctor Barnes said and he left the room, Doctor Stern and the nurse following after him.

After the door clicked shut, Derek quickly climbed onto the bed next to Spencer and pulled the younger man into his lap, wrapping his arms around him. Spencer immediately buried his head in Derek's shoulder and Derek buried his into Spencer's hair.

Neither said anything as Derek felt Spencer's shoulder start to shake, and he knew this was the breaking point for Spencer. The surgery was real and wasn't that far off. He was slightly relieved to know it wasn't a panic attack and he held his best friend, his lover, while he let everything out.

"I love you so much," Derek whispered. "Everything's going to be okay. This is going to make things better, its just a bump in the road."

He felt Spencer shaking his head against his shoulder and began rubbing his back. "Talk to me, Spence. Please."

"What, what-if," Spencer began, trying to get his words out. "What if something happens, just, I don't know what to do."

"Spence, we need to stay positive. This is going to work and everything is going to be fine," Derek whispered, placing a sloppy kiss against Spencer's temple as he felt himself begin to cry. "We can't think like that. Everything's going to be fine."

They both fell silent again. Spencer's shoulder shaking and soft cries began to fade and Derek pulled away slightly to see he was almost half asleep. Taking a quick glance at the clock, he kissed Spencer, loving the feeling of Spencer's lips against his own: one of his favorite feelings in the world. The kiss deepened as Spencer returned it with as much passion as he could, both welcoming the distraction.

Pulling apart after a couple of minutes, Derek rested his head against Spencer's as they both slowly tried to catch you their breath, eyes closed.

"I love you," Spencer said as he began to leave tiny kisses against Derek's head, leading down his jaw. "I don't know what I would do without you."

He opened his eyes, Derek soon following. Both of their eyes were slightly puffy and red rimmed, bloodshot. "I love you so much, baby boy. Don't ever forget that."

"Sort of hard to," Spencer joked, giving a sort of weak laugh.

Derek grinned in response and hugged Spencer. "I am so happy that you're with me."

"We're permanent."

* * *

Penelope Garcia stood in the hospital lobby, growing slightly impatient. After having gotten over the phone with Derek she had immediately called the team and agreed to meet in the lobby at 11. It was only 11:15 but she was anxious and wanted to see her little g-man.

"Garcia!" At the sound of her name, she turned to see Hotch and Emily walking towards here.

"Have your heard from JJ or Dave yet?" Hotch asked as he stopped to stand in front of Penelope.

"JJ said she was on her way, so she should be here any minute," Penelope explained. "As for Rossi, he is-"

"Right behind you." The three turned and Rossi was stepping closer to them. "Now all we need is JJ?"

Emily nodded before turning to Garcia. "All you said was to arrive here, with the time. What did Morgan say to you?"

Hotch and Rossi both turned towards her, wanting to know the same. "He didn't tell me too much," she admitted. "He told me that they were planning to do the surgery today, and that Spencer's doctor was coming in to speak to them around ten."

"Anything else?" Hotch asked.

Penelope made a small face before nodding. "Our genius had a panic attack last night. A strong one from the way Derek described."

The three profilers winced at that. "Everything is just becoming more and more real for him. One was bound to happen," Hotch explained.

"Hey!" A voice came from behind them and he turned to see JJ. "You guys didn't have to wait for me."

"Yes we did," Emily gave her a slight glare. "You would've killed is."

"Hurt, not killed," JJ teased and that received a small chuckle. "Thank you, though."

"I'll text Derek to know we're here," Penelope told them, and they made their way to Spencer's room.

Derek's phone going off made them both jump. He took it out of his pocket and checked the message the he saw was from Garcia. "Hey, Pretty Boy, up for visitors?"

He looked down to Spencer, who he knew was laying down with his head in Derek's lap. "Sound's good," Spencer mumbled and sat up.

"Everything's going to be okay, they're family," Derek hold him as he moved over so Spencer could sit next to him.

"Oh, I know," Spencer began as he moved closer to give Derek the cue to wrap his arms around him. One look and Derek complied. Relaxed, Spencer cuddled into Derek's side.

There was a knock at the door. "Come in!" Derek called out.

"Everyone decent?" Garcia asked as she popped her head in.

"If you consider a backless hospital gown decent, then yes," Spencer said only loud enough for Derek to hear and smiled at the laugh that he got.

"Come on in, Baby Girl," Derek said and grinned as the rest of the team stepped into the room.

"Someone looks like they're doing a little better," JJ said as she stepped closer to Spencer's bed.

"The fevers gone, so," Spencer told her, smiling as she kissed him on the cheek.

He laughed when Garcia came over and pulled him away from Derek slightly to give him a gentle hug and kiss him on the forehead. "It is wonderful to see you smiling, boy wonder," she whispered to him before stepping away.

Emily, Rossi, and Hotch were standing at the end of Spencer's bed, smiling at the scene. After a few quiet moments, Hotch turned to Derek.

"So, did you guys talk to the doctor?" he said, asking the question that was definitely on the team's mind.

Derek stole a quick glance at Spencer and then nodded. "Yeah, you just missed them actually."

"Them?" Rossi asked.

"We were introduced to a Doctor Stern, who will be performing the procedure with Doctor Barnes," Spencer explained.

"They're planning to do the surgery this afternoon," Derek told them. He looked over at Garcia before smiling slightly. "Baby Girl, there is something we're going to need for you to do once Spencer's home."

Spencer made a face at that, trying to recall what the request may be. Once he remembered, he glared at Derek. "No, Derek, not now," Spencer pleaded.

Derek looked at him and could tell he was just more annoyed than angry and grinned. "Better to get it out of the way now, kid."

Looking between the two of them, Garcia was starting to get confused. "Get what out the way? You know I'd be more than happy to do anything I can."

Spencer glared at Derek, but knew the point was moot. He crossed his arms and sighed. "Just tell her already," he grumbled out.

Derek ruffled his hair before turning to look at Penelope. "They're going to have to shave part of his hair for the surgery, and we were hoping that once he's out of here and on the mend, you'll help him even it out."

While the rest of the team shot surprised and questioning looks at the two sitting on the bed, Garcia clapped her hands and squealed. "I'd definitely be more than happy to help my junior g-man out!"

They all laughed as Spencer groaned and covered his face with his hands. "Don't worry, Spence. I'll be there to help her out."

"Fantastic, which means I won't get a say in anything."

"Nope!" JJ and Garcia exclaimed in unison, instantly sparking another round of laughter.

Derek was thankful for the team as the next few hours passed. He was looking for a small distraction to keep Spencer's mind off the procedure, and the team was definitely the right thing. They talked and caught up like they haven't in years: anything to keep the youngest agent's mind off of what was going to happen in only a matter of hours.

Then time seemed to pass too quickly. There was a knock at the door, causing the room to fall silent.

The door opened and Doctor Barnes walked in, followed by a team of nurses. "Hello, again," he greeted to the rest of the team as he stepped up to Spencer's bed. "Doctor Reid, we need to prepare you for surgery. We'll bring you down for your scheduled tests and then bring you to your recovery room," he explained. He waited for Spencer to nod before continuing. "Unfortunately, that means most of the team will have to leave for the time being."

"Most of the team?" Spencer asked, obviously confused.

"As your significant other, Agent Morgan will be allowed to accompany you until you are taken into the OR. And as your power of attorney, Agent Hotchner is allowed the same if he wishes," Barnes explained as he turned toward the unit chief.

Hotch's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he looked at Reid. "I'll be there only if you want me to."

"Please," Spencer said instantly and looked over at the man.

"Then of course."

Doctor Barnes smiled. "Unfortunately, that means the rest of you? We must request that you either move to the surgical waiting area or you're welcome to do as you wish."

The team looked around and made eye contact with every member, creating an unspoken agreement that they weren't going anywhere until they knew Spencer was out of surgery and that everything went as planned.

"I'll give you a few minutes," Doctor Barnes told them and smiled. He left the room, the nurses following.

The team instantly turned to Spencer, who had Derek's arm wrapped around his shoulder, head on Derek's chest and eyes closed. Derek's free hand was running through Spencer's hair, trying to keep him as calm as he possibly could.

No one knew what to say. They knew this was a major surgery and there were many risks and side effects of this procedure. At the continuing silence, Spencer raised his head and opened his eyes, looking around at his team.

"Could at least one of you look like you're gonna see me again?" he tried to joke, hoping that his request didn't seem at all serious. He smiled slightly when he saw the amused looks on Derek, JJ and Hotch's faces when they words sparked their memory of the derailed train in Texas. Rossi, Emily, and Garcia were confused, looking at the four and not having an idea what could be so amusing.

Seeing the look, Derek gave them a small smile. "We'll explain the story behind that later. So, don't worry, he wasn't being serious."

JJ stepped up to the bed and kissed Spencer on the head before giving him a big hug. "I'll be there when you get out, Spence. Don't make me worry too much, little brother." Spencer grinned at the nickname and gave her a whispered thank you.

Emily was next as JJ moved a little ways away from the bed, and hugged Reid. "You promised me no more ulcers," she teased.

Spencer shook his head and smirked. "I don't break my promises."

Rossi was next to approach, not really sure of what to say or do. He grabbed both of Spencer's hands and squeezed. "You're a fighter, don't forget that." Spencer nodded as Rossi smiled. The unspoken words between them were enough for the two profilers.

Garcia had tears and mascara running down her face as she stepped up to the bed and pulled Spencer into the tightest hug comfortable and left sloppy kisses on his forehead and cheeks. "Don't worry, baby genius, everything's going to be alright. I know it will. I love you SO much."

"I love you too, Garcia," Spencer whispered and smiled at her.

With another quick hug, Garcia left the room with the others.

* * *

Doctor Barnes and one of the nurses, who was pushing a wheelchair, entered the room a few moments later. "Nurse Caiti is escorting your team to the surgical waiting area. You two will be brought there until Doctor Reid is in the recovery room." He smiled when he saw them nod and then he looked to Spencer. "Nurse Lindsay will be bringing you down to the CT and x-ray. After your tests, you'll be brought to the recovery room where I'll be bringing Agents Hotchner and Morgan."

Lindsay stepped over to the side of Spencer's bed closest to all the equipment. She turned the machines off, removing the nodules from Spencer's head and chest. She then removed the pulse oximeter and blood pressure cuff. She removed the oxygen before clamping the IV closed and removing it from Spencer's hand, leaving the IV cannula in Spencer's hand after she flushed the line with saline.

"Ready to go?" she asked, a smile on her face.

Spencer swallowed slightly before turning his head towards Derek. When they made eye contact, Derek pulled him close and kissed him on the forehead. "I'm only going to be gone for a half hour. Hotch and I will be waiting for you after your x-ray."

Spencer's bottom lip trembled slightly before he sighed and nodded. "I love you," he whispered and kissed Derek's cheek.

Derek smiled. "I love you too, baby boy."

After another quick kiss, Spencer turned toward the nurse as Derek stood up from the bed. Hotch and Lindsay helped Spencer stand and sit in the wheelchair. Once he was situated, Hotch put a gentle hand on Spencer's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. Spencer looked up at Hotch and was greeted with a small smile from Hotch which he returned.

"See you when you when you get back," Hotch told him, Spencer grinning at the familiar words.

"Thanks Hotch," Spencer said, voice cracking slightly.

A few more glances between Derek and Spencer, the nurse pushed Spencer out of the room, leaving the other three alone.

Doctor Barnes turned towards the two agents. "If you gentleman would follow me," he said and made his way out of the room, Derek and Hotch following.

They made their way through the halls of the hospital until they reached the surgical wing. They walked past the waiting area where they saw the rest of the team. No one said anything as Doctor Barnes continued to lead Derek and Hotch back toward the recovery area.

Once there, they came upon a section of the area that was curtained off. Barnes led them to a bed in the far left corner. "This is where we'll be bringing Doctor Reid after his tests and before his surgery. Are there any questions?" Derek and Hotch both shook their heads. Doctor Barnes nodded. "Doctor Reid's test should be over soon. I'll see you both again before the surgery."

Derek and Hotch watched as he walked away before dropping in two of the seats close to the small hospital bed.

"God, this day is just going to get harder," Derek mumbled as he rubbed a hand over his scalp.

Hotch reached over and squeezed Derek's shoulder. "You won't be alone though, Morgan."

Neither man said anything as they sat there, feeling as time continued on slowly. After what felt like hours, they saw Nurse Lindsay pushing Spencer in a wheelchair toward the bed.

Both men stood as the wheelchair came to a stop at the end of the bed. Being closer, Derek helped Lindsay get him situated in the bed.

While watching, Hotch took in Spencer's current appearance. This was the first chance he had gotten to actually take in how Reid looked: he was incredibly pale, more so than usual, and looking at his face, Hotch winced. Spencer's eyes were slightly bloodshot and the fear, he could see, was so clear.

Spencer Reid was scared, frightened. The look in his eyes and his behavior were extremely similar to two prior cases and situations Hotch would never forget. One was the case a few years ago when the team had been in California investigating a murder of a young girl who had been abducted along with one of her friends. When they had entered that bathroom and saw Reid standing there staring at the body of Ryan Phillips, that look was there. The other was everything involving Tobias Hankel.

It hurt the unit chief to have to see his subordinate like this again, even more since there was nothing he could personally do to get rid of it. The best he could do was be there for Spencer in anyway that he could.

"How did the tests go?" Derek had asked, as both he and Hotch sat back down in his chairs. Nurse Lindsay had already left after informing them that the doctors would be along within the next half hour.

Spencer shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. "Nothing special. Given this was the first time they had used the IV contrast, and they weren't kidding when they said everywhere would feel warm," Spencer mumbled out.

A silence fell into place, all of them unsure of what to say. Derek had one hand holding onto Spencer's, running a thumb over the back of his hand. Spencer had his knees pulled up to his chest, eyes staring at the blanket in front of them, most likely lost in thought.

After a few more minutes, Spencer decided to break the silence. "Hotch," he began and waited for Aaron to make eye contact before continuing. "I just really want to thank you for being here. It really does mean a lot."

Hotch couldn't help but smile. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, I feel honored that you'd want me here."

Spencer grinned in response and nodded. "I just have a lot to thank you for and am never sure on how to show it," Spencer explained, his voice cracking slightly in some areas. "When I started at the BAU, you and Derek were the first ones to make me feel like I wasn't in over my head. Made me feel welcomed. Even if you two did have a weird way of showing it."

"It was the best way to find out the Reid Effect and I glad we found it early," Hotch teased slightly. Derek shot a look between the two of them. Chuckling slightly, Hotch explained. "We went to talk to a witness, but the only place we were able to talk to her was at work."

"She worked at a dog shelter," Spencer finished, earning a laugh from both Hotch and Derek.

"I stick by what I said then, because it's still true today," Derek said as he sat back in the chair.

"It was a few months in, but he invited me over to expand my taste in music. He thought I should listen to a few hip-hop artists, the big one being Nas," Spencer explained as he looked over at Derek, smiling at the memory.

"And I told him anyone who can't quote Illmatic is ignorant," Derek said, grinning.

Spencer rolled his eyes. "That was before he knew about my eidetic memory. So he was shocked the first time I quoted 'Halftime.'"

They had continued to talk, discussing things that happened on old cases and the like. Derek and Hotch were happy to, since they knew it was working as a good distraction for Spencer.

Unfortunately, it had to end when Doctor Barnes, Doctor Stern, and another unknown doctor stepped into Spencer's area.

"Doctor Reid, this is Doctor Ramsey," Doctor Stern explained, gesturing to the man next to him. "He's the anesthesiologist and is here to start it for you."

Spencer nodded and didn't say anything as Doctor Ramsey stepped over to the side of the gurney and checked the IV cannula in Spencer's head, making sure that it still flushed. After, he pulled a syringe from his pocket and stuck it into the IV, pushing the plunger.

"What was that?" Derek asked.

"Before these procedures, it's normal to prescribe a sedative, since anxiety is a common factory prior to the surgery. We only gave you a low dose to hold you off until we're in the OR and you're administered the anesthesia," Ramsey explained. He then stepped away from the gurney and turned to the others. "I've got a few more things to set up in the OR, I'll see you guys in there."

After he left, Doctor Barnes turned his attention to Spencer. "It's time to bring you into the OR."

He looked to the other agents. "Unfortunately, this means you'll have to go to the waiting room until he's in recovery."

Spencer nodded and took a deep breath as his bottom lip trembled slightly. Both Hotch and Derek stood, Hotch turning toward the two doctors. "May we have a few minutes?" he asked.

Doctor Stern nodded. "We'll be back in 10 minutes," he told them, smiling before he and Barnes left the three alone.

Hotch then took the other side of the gurney as Derek held Spencer's head against his chest and rubbed circles on his back.

"Spencer," Hotch said and waited to get his attention. He smiled before continuing. "Everything's going to be okay, you know that right?" Hotch's voice was calm and soothing, usually the tone that he had when he was speaking to Jack.

Spencer nodded, but didn't say anything.

"We'll be here when you wake up. All you need to do is come back to us, okay?" Hotch felt his eyes filling with tears and tried to blink them away. "Just keep fighting and don't leave us."

Spencer nodded and pulled away from Derek to hug Hotch, who was slightly surprised when the young genius wrapped his arms around him. Recovering quickly, Hotch returned the hug, squeezing slightly.

After a moment or two, Spencer pulled back and looked up at Hotch. "Thank you," he whispered. Hotch smiled in response, not trusting himself to say anything at the moment. He then turned away from the pair, knowing they needed a private moment.

Spencer turned to Derek and quickly wrapped his arms around his lover's neck, burying his head into Derek's collarbone.

"I'm scared," Derek heard him whisper. Kissing him on the temple, he began to rub his back. "I know baby boy, we all are."

Spencer broke away slightly to kiss Derek. He put as much as he could into it, knowing that the feeling of Derek's lips against his was something that was going to keep him together.

"I love you so much," Derek said after they pulled away. Making eye contact with Spencer, both of them began to tear up before Derek wrapped his arms around Spencer and pulled back into another hug, holding him as tightly as he could. "No matter what may happens in there? You keep fighting. After that, it will be over."

"I love you," Spencer whispered. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Doctor Barnes returned a minute later, a team of OR nurses behind them. "Milly here will escort you to the waiting area."

Derek and Hotch nodded both taking a look at Spencer, squeezing a hand each and stepped away so the nurses could do their job.

The bars on either side of the gurney were raised and a nurse pulled a surgical mask out of her scrubs, placing it over Spencer's mouth. Blankets were wrapped around his legs. They unlocked the gurney and got in position to start pushing.

As they started pushing the gurney past Derek and Hotch, Spencer shared a quick glance between them before waving slightly.

"We'll see you in a few hours, Pretty Boy," Derek told him and fought back the tears as he watched the gurney get pushed down the hallway and around the corner. He wiped his hand across his eyes and turned toward the nurse.

"Follow me this way, gentleman," she said, giving them both a small smile. Neither man said anything as they took one more glance down the hallwpermay where Reid had been taken before following Nurse Milly to the waiting area.


	12. Chapter 12

Rossi was the first one to spot the two as they came into the waiting area. He and the girls had chosen to sit in the corner away from others, so they could have their privacy. "Hotch! Morgan!" he called and waved his hand after he had caught their attention.

The girls then also looked up as both of them came closer to the group. Hotch took the seat between JJ and Emily, Derek taking the one next to Garcia.

"I'm guessing they've taken him into the OR?" Emily asked after they sat down.

Hotch nodded. "Just a few minutes ago."

"How was he?"

Derek shook his head. "He is so scared. He is just so incredibly scared," he explained. He smiled slightly when he felt Penelope link arms and kiss him on the cheek.

"Did they say how long the procedure would be?" Rossi asked, looking between them.

Hotch shrugged in response. "I actually know very little about the entire thing. Finding a small distraction for Reid was more my priority than anything else."

"Doctor Barnes had said it could take anywhere from 4 to 8 hours," Derek explained. The others frowned.

"This is going to be a long day," JJ mumbled, the team nodding in agreement.

"Not that I don't appreciate it, and am incredibly thankful that you're all here, but what about work?" Derek asked.

Everyone immediately glanced at Hotch with a small smile, Derek looked at everyone slightly confused. "I managed to get our AL early," he explained.

Morgan's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really? Strauss agreed to it?"

"I explained to her that there was a medical emergency with one of us: didn't need to tell her who, thankfully. I mentioned that it would involve major surgery and the allotted time for our AL would work perfectly." And with a smirk he added. "And since it's Wednesday, we officially start AL on Monday. We just have the rest of the week off."

Derek allowed himself to smile and nodded. "Thank you, really."

"We're a family, sweetcheeks," Penelope said, pecking Derek on the cheek. "We're all going to be here for Boy Wonder."

They all fell into a comfortable silence. They knew they needed to find something to pass the time, but unfortunately, were too lost in their thoughts to think of something.

An hour had passed before Emily spoke up. "So, what were you talking about in Reid's room when you said he wasn't serious?"

Derek, Hotch, and JJ immediately smiled. Hotch explained to them about the case in Texas on the train and how Spencer was sent in as a 'technician' to use a magic trick to convince the unsub he was removing a computer chip from his arm. He then went on to explain everything that they had seen from the monitors.

"He's been giving me heart attacks for years," Derek mumbled out after Hotch had finished the story.

"Just one of the many things that come along with Spencer Reid. He's just always been a trouble magnet," JJ joked lightly. The others nodded and laughed slightly.

"There's been a lot of those. I swear if I weren't bald, that boy would've made me completely grey."

They laughed again. Soon they were all sharing stories of moments in their lives spent with Spencer.

Everyone was surprised to hear the tale of the Redskins game that he and JJ had gone to. JJ told them how he was trying to get into the game and had the terminology down, but everything just came off so awkward.

"After Spence told me that, it was an obvious sign that Gideon was trying to set the two of us up, we couldn't help but laugh. That was the day we started to get closer," JJ explained, tearing up slightly at the memory.

"So he didn't have a crush on you?" Penelope asked.

JJ shook her head. "He didn't understand how mentioning to Gideon that I was the only person to ever call him 'Spence' was a sign that he was possibly into me. We've always thought of one another as best friends or siblings."

They all smiled at the thought and then Emily went on to share some stories of her and Spencer. She explained that after everything with Cyrus, the two couldn't have gone through all of it and stayed acquaintances.

"It's just so easy to talk to him on certain subjects, especially foreign films. It's very few times I can find someone who can watch a film without the subtitles."

"The fact that 187 is a fellow Whovian made he and I getting along easy," Garcia began to explain.

"Whovi-what?" Rossi asked, sparking chuckles from the others.

"Fans of Doctor Who," Garcia explained. "We've gone to a few conventions over the years. It's just so much better when you have a nerd buddy!"

Hotch went on to recount the memory of the first time Gideon had introduced Spencer to him. "I seriously thought he was a high school student doing a research paper," Hotch told them, quickly getting a few laughs. "Then when he went on to ask me about details about cases and my methods when interrogating an unsub? I thought he was a robot."

They all then turned to Derek. "So, tell us about the time you knew you fell in love with Reid." Emily requested. Derek smiled slightly.

"Believe it or not, it was the Owen Savage case." All their eyebrows shot up, as that was definitely not the answer they were expecting.

"Spencer had shared with me very personal memories about high school, and my heart broke knowing he had to go through it alone. Then when he was standing there in front of the rifle with no vest or gun, I was scared. My heart broke when I tried to imagine a world without him, and that's when I knew it was more than a feeling of him being a younger sibling."

Derek's voice trailed off as he sat forward in his chair and covered his face with his hands. The others knew that this entire day was going to be an ongoing emotional roller coaster. Penelope rubbed his back as the others looked at him with small smiles.

Rossi turned and took a quick glance at the clock. "It's been four hours," he announced.

Everyone, including Derek, looked to the clock to get the confirmation. "So, they could be done anytime now, right?" JJ asked.

"Hopefully it's sooner than later," Emily said, the others nodding in agreement.

Another hour had passed and there still wasn't any sort of update on the progress or condition of Spencer's surgery. The team were getting reckless and wished that they just knew something. An additional half hour had passed when one of the nurses Derek recognized, sure that her name was Barbara, had come out and approached them.

"Are you the ones here for Spencer Reid?" she asked. They all nodded in response. "I'm one of the nurses working with Doctor Barnes and Doctor Stern. I came out here to give you an update on the surgery. Everything so far has gone as expected. They're predicting another two hours until they're finished. We apologize for the long wait."

Rossi gave her a small smile and shook his head. "No need to worry about that. We appreciate you giving us an update, we've been going a little stir crazy out here," he explained.

Barbara smiled and nodded. "I'm happy to help. I'll be out at the end to let you know when they're finished, before Doctor Barnes comes out to speak to you."

"Thank you," Hotch said. Barbara gave them a quick nod and turned, making her way back.

They all let out a relieved sigh and looked at one another.

"So far, so good," Derek mumbled.

JJ nodded. "And thankfully, not that long left."

Silence fell around them, none of them knowing what to say. Once again they returned to their thoughts, hoping that everything was working out in the OR for Spencer and he'd be okay when he gets out. They would steal glances at the clock here and there, but knew that was only going to make time seem like it was going slower. They needed the next hour to be up.

* * *

The next hour and a half passed by as slowly as it possibly could. It didn't help that not a single member of the team had taken their eyes off the doors that the nurse had come out and given an update on Spencer from before. Derek's gaze kept switching back from the clock and the door, palms getting sweaty as he kept growing more nervous and worried about Spencer.

Finally the doors opened and Doctor Barnes walked out. He looked around the waiting and walked over to the team in the corner, who all immediately stood as he approached.

"How is he?" Derek blurted out.

"I'm sorry for the long wait," he began, taking a second to take a few deep breaths. "In the beginning there were some complications due to the area that we had to operate on. It was all touch-and-go for a little while, but Doctor Reid is certainly a fighter," he gave them a smile.

"So, he's okay?" Garcia asked.

Doctor Barnes nodded and his smile grew as he saw the tension and relief pass over the team. Before any of them got a chance to say anything, Doctor Barnes spoke again. "If you wouldn't mind following me to a more private setting, I'll be happy to answer any questions that you may have."

The team nodded and followed Doctor Barnes back through the doors and to a conference room in the surgical wing. He closed the door and waited for everyone to be seated before taking a seat himself.

"We were able to remove both of the secondary tumors, which was our primary goal," he began. "While not being able to remove all of the primary tumor, we managed to get a small chunk of it out."

"The size obviously makes a difference, was it the original size of the tumor when he first diagnosed life threatening?" Rossi asked, hoping it was the right question.

"Upon first diagnosis, Doctor Reid's tumor was about 8 cm and that was why I originally ordered the radiotherapy as the first step in his treatment. A tumor that size going untreated for even a small amount of time is definitely more threatening than small tumors," Doctor Barnes explained, watching as the sudden looks of panic emerged from each member. "Thankfully, we caught it early enough before it could do significant damage. After the radiotherapy it had shrunk to 5 cm, which was definitely an improvement. After we saw that the tumor wasn't going to shrink any farther than that, I consulted with Doctor Stern on our next of treatment, but unfortunately, everything that happened the past few days has had to change that."

"How much of the primary tumor were you able to remove?" Hotch asked. He was sitting next to Derek and knew that the other man wasn't going to say anything, not until he saw Spencer, and Hotch was more than happy to ask the questions he think Morgan would have.

"We were able to remove enough of tumor to decrease it 4.6 cm, which is an improvement."

"What would be next regarding his treatment?" another question from Hotch.

"That, at the moment, can't be decided. Once Doctor Reid begins his recovery from this surgery, we'll be able to determine which step. It will also be his choice," Barnes explained.

"What would his choices be?" JJ asked.

"Radiotherapy again with a higher dose than the one he originally received that would hopefully aid in decreasing the size of the tumor, or to begin chemotherapy."

The last word hit the team at full force, especially for the four that had only learnt of Spencer's diagnosis in under 48 hours. No one said anything, not sure if they wanted to or if they even could.

Doctor Barnes remained quiet as well, knowing that this was something they needed to absorb at their own pace.

After a few moments, Derek was the one who broke the silence. "When can we see him?" Everyone else's heads snapped toward the doctor.

"He's currently in the recovery room and hasn't woken from the anesthesia yet. Once he is, we're going to monitor him for a couple more hours and then move him to ICU. I can allow two people in the surgical recovery room..."

"I sense another 'but' coming," Emily mumbled out.

"Unfortunately, I can only allow Agents Morgan and Hotchner," Doctor Barnes explained, turning to the two men. "Once Doctor Reid is moved to ICU, you will all get a chance to see him."

He stood from his and looked at Derek and Hotch again. "If you'd like to follow me, I can escort you both to Doctor Reid."

Derek and Hotch immediately stood up and walked over to the door. Doctor Barnes smiled as he opened the door. Before stepping out, he turned back to the team. "If you'd like, you're welcome to stay here until these two are done."

The others nodded as they watched the three men leave, hoping that they'd get their own chances soon.

Derek was growing anxious as he and Hotch followed Doctor Barnes towards the recovery area. Everything felt like it was going too slow. He just wanted to know that Spencer was still there. After a couple of minutes, Doctor Barnes stopped before the doors that led to the recovery rooms and turned to the two agents.

"There a few things that I need to tell you before you go in."

"Why couldn't these been mentioned with the rest of the team?" Hotch asked. He stole a quick glance over at Derek who, while actively listening, was staring past the doors.

"It only concerned you two since you're the ones who will see him prior to him moving to the ICU."

"So, what is it?" Derek asked, finally turning his gaze to Doctor Barnes.

"Don't be too alarmed by anything that you see, so far as I've been told there haven't been any physical complications-"

"What about neurological?" Derek asked, cutting him off.

"We won't know that until he wakes up. He's still under the sedation, but most likely will be waking up within the next two hours. There's always a risk of neurological complications, and they vary depending on location. There was nothing I saw both myself or Doctor Stern do that would cause something."

Derek didn't say anything and nodded. Hotch could tell there were a few more things to ask. "What can we expect upon seeing him?"

"We had to induce hypothermia, which decreased his cellular metabolism and need for oxygen. This was so we could avoid more complications," he explained quickly, seeing the look of panic on both the agent's faces. "So, his temperature will seem low, but will rise, and we'll be monitoring his vitals."

"Anything else?"

"We're not exactly sure of what to expect until he wakes up, and that covers most of the post operative complications that may occur," he explained.

"How long will he be in the recovery room?" Derek asked.

"For at least twelve hours, since everything needs to be so precisely watched. Then depending on how his recovery is proceeding, we'll transfer him to the ICU."

Both Hotch and Derek nodded in understanding, both remaining quiet, signaling to Doctor Barnes that they didn't have any more questions at the moment.

"You may now see him," Doctor Barnes said, giving them a small smile.

"Both of you can stay for up to an hour, but after that we'll have to limit the time spent, since we're trying to avoid so many complications. You'll still be able to visit him, just one at a time for 15 minute intervals until he's moved to ICU," he explained as he turned from them men and led them towards Spencer's bed.

With each step, Derek grew slightly nervous. It wasn't that he was afraid to see Reid. It was because he didn't know how he's going to handle seeing Spencer in another hospital bed, knowing that there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

No one said anything as they reached Spencer's bed, the area curtained off. "He's right here, Agents. Just call for a nurse when he wakes up. I'll be by later," he told them before he walked away.

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked, turning to Derek.

Derek looked at his unit chief and shrugged. "Not really," he admitted.

Hotch nodded and then gestured towards the opening between the wall and the curtain. "I'm sure you'll feel better once you can actually see Reid."

Derek gave him a small smile and nodded, stepping past Hotch and closer to the curtain opening. With a deep breath, he turned towards Spencer's bed and froze. He knew what to expect coming back here, but his heart broke to see Spencer laying in another hospital bed. He took another step forward as his eyes mapped over Spencer's body. His left arm had the blood pressure cuff and the pulse oximeter, and the IV was in his elbow which led to one IV stand to the left of the bed, supporting multiple bags. Around his ankles were sequential compression devices that would prevent blood clots from forming. The electrodes for the heart monitor were on his chest, the wires stuck out from the pocket in the hospital gown. There was another IV in his right hand leading to another IV stand to his right that had an additional pump to provide the blood transfusion for the third IV in Spencer's other elbow.

Once Derek reached Spencer's head, he bit his lip. There was an oxygen mask covering covering most of his face. The dark circles around his eyes stood out more than they usually did. The bandage wrapped around Spencer's head was what had Derek release a quiet whimper: they had shaved the right side of his head. The curls from the top combed to the left, a large bandage covering it. Derek finally took a few more steps into the area, grabbing the closest chair and dragging it closer to Spencer's bed, before collapsing into it. He grabbed Spencer's hand, mindful of the IV, and squeezed it.

He immediately teared up and he closed his eyes. "You did it, Spence," he whispered, kissing Spencer's knuckles. "Now you just have to wake up."

Hotch knew that Derek would need a moment and decided to enter about 10 minutes later. As he stepped around the curtain, his stomach dropped. While relieved that Spencer had kept his promise and came back to them, this is what verified everything that he had learned in the past two days, and it hit him hard. Hotch didn't say anything as he grabbed the second chair and pulled it up next to Derek. The other man looked as he sat down.

"He came back to us," Derek whispered, looking back towards Spencer. "He seriously is one of the strongest people I've met, but I'm getting sick and tired of fate forcing him to prove it."

Hotch gave Morgan's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "While it isn't fair, it makes him stronger."

Derek didn't say anything. A silence befell upon the two of them as Derek kept giving rhythmic squeezes to Spencer's hand, waiting for some sort of response.

They had remained that way for a half hour until something happened to cause Derek to jump. While Hotch was hunched forward, looking at the ground, Derek hadn't stopped squeezing Spencer's hand in a pattern. When there was a weak squeeze in return, Derek sat up straight and looked to the head of the bed.

"Spencer?" He asked as he stood up and moved closer. When there was no response, he squeezed his hand again and grinned when he got a slightly strong squeeze in return.

"He's waking up, call the nurse," Derek said to Hotch before turning back towards Spencer. Hotch immediately stood up and pushed the call button before moving to stand next to Derek.

"Spencer, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand again." Derek told him, letting out the breath he had been holding when there was a response.

The two agents watched as Spencer's head began to move and a low groan came from the genius when he slightly moved his head.

"Come on, Spence, open your eyes," Derek pleaded.

Another groan came from Spencer as they watched Spencer's eyelids begin twitching slightly as he fought to open his eyes. It took a few more minutes before they were fully open, squinting at the harsh light. No one said anything as Spencer quickly did a look over at the room and his gaze settled on Derek.

"Take it easy, baby boy," Derek whispered to him, a grin on his face. "Don't move your head. Everything's fine, you're going to be okay."

Hotch could smile as he watched the two of them interact. He was slightly surprised when Spencer made eye contact with him. "Welcome back, Spencer."

Before anything else could happen, Doctor Barnes had returned with Nurse Barbara. Hotch immediately stepped out of the way and to the side so Doctor Barnes could get closer to his bed.

"Good to see you awake, Doctor Reid," he greeted, giving him a smile. "We're going now perform a couple of tests that need to be done. Unfortunately," he began, turning to look at both Derek and Hotch, "you two will need to leave until after they're done. I'm sorry."

Derek shook his head. "No, I understand." He turned back to Spencer who was looking at him, a small sign of fear could be seen his eyes that caused Derek's lip to tremble slightly. "I'll be right back, baby boy, okay?" He whispered, smiling as Spencer squeezed his hand. "The minute I can come back, I will. I promise."

Kissing his hand quickly, he reluctantly left the recovery area with Hotch, heading back towards their team in the conference room, knowing they needed to be updated on Spencer.

* * *

"I really don't want to be this well acquainted with Saint Sebastian's conferences rooms," Rossi mumbled.

"How long have they been gone?" JJ asked.

"One hour and fifteen minutes," Garcia responded.

"Do you think Spence has woken up yet?"

"I hope so," Emily responded. "He's going to break his promise about the ulcer." The other three looked at her, obviously confused and she smirked. "Inside joke," she teased.

They fell silent again. While knowing that talking can keep them from getting lost in their own thoughts, there was no reason to seeing as they were all thinking about Reid.

There was a knock at the door that caused them to jump and they felt relieved when Hotch walked in, followed closely by Derek.

"Do they have timed visits like the ICU?" Garcia asked as they sat down.

"They kicked us out," Hotch began.

"What? Why?" JJ asked, cutting him off.

"He's awake," Derek said from his spot next to Emily and smiled. "Awake and aware. He immediately made eye contact with both me and Hotch."

"So, hopefully that decreases the number of risks that could happen," Hotch added.

"Then why'd they kick you out?" Rossi asked.

"There were some immediate tests they to needed perform, but they needed him awake," Hotch explained. "They didn't tell us how long it would take, but I'm sure they'll send someone to let us know when we can go back."

"How did he look? I know he was right out of surgery, but..." JJ trailed off, not really sure on how to phrase the rest of the question.

"He's pale, well, paler than usual, but that was expected," Morgan said as he turned towards Penelope. "You're definitely gonna need to fix his hair somehow," he told her, giving her a smile.

Garcia quickly returned it. "How much damage did they do to 187's head?"

"They shaved the entire right side."

Garcia blinked. "I definitely would be more than happy to help," she told him, grinning.

"Anything else?" Emily asked.

"Nothing that could be seen at least," Hotch responded.

There was a knock at the door before anything else could have been said and Doctor Barnes walked into the room.

"We've completed a majority of the tests. I don't have anything in concrete, but there is nothing neurological to be found. The tests will just confirm that," he explained.

"Oh thank, god," Derek said, rubbing a hand over his face.

"His vitals are still a little low, but that is expected. Our only current worry, besides fighting any infections, is that he seems to be showing some respiratory complications. I don't recall anything in the chart, but is there something that could have affected his lungs to make this a higher risk?"

Everyone immediately froze and looked to one another before looking over at Hotch. Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Before I explain anything, I must ask you to keep this information as discreet as possible," Hotch said as he turned towards Barnes. "I stress you to keep quiet about this, as it is an important government secret that has been kept from the public for numerous reasons. Can I trust you?"

Doctor Barnes, though surprised, nodded. "Of course."

Hotch nodded. "About three years ago, we were working on a case from an anthrax attack on a local park. While investigating a potential suspect's home, Reid had entered the lab where there was a broken vial of the anthrax strain and the air conditioner on full blast. He had cut his hand before, making it easier for the disease to spread."

Doctor Barnes was quiet as he absorbed that information. "He contracted a strain of anthrax and survived?" he asked, flabbergasted.

The others smiled slightly and nodded. "He didn't stop working the case, and even managed to locate the cure," Derek said, his tone filled with pride.

Doctor Barnes' eyebrows shot up. "On the way to the hospital though, he had aphasia and went into respiratory distress," Rossi explained.

"What caused the aphasia?" Barnes asked.

"I believe the doctor explained that the anthrax was infecting his parietal lobe," Hotch answered.

Doctor Barnes nodded. "I thank you for sharing that with me, it will definitely make treating this easier. You can definitely trust me not to say anything."

"Thank you," Hotch said.

"So,can the respiratory problem be treated?" Garcia asked.

"On it's own, yes. Recovery will depend on his strength. As he starts to recover more, it'll eventually treat itself. We'll continue to monitor his oxygen levels, and since it's minor, we have him on the oxygen tubing instead of the mask," Barnes explained.

"Is there anything else wrong?" Emily asked.

Doctor Barnes shook his head. "We'll be fighting off possible infections, the major one being meningitis," he explained and then turned to Derek. "You're welcome to head back, Agent Morgan. I'm positive he wants to see you."

Derek stood up quickly and made his way to the door, saying a quick 'thank you' as he passed Doctor Barnes and started heading back.

"Are there any more questions?" Doctor Barnes asked. The team looked around at one another and shook their heads. Barnes nodded. "I'll let you be then," he said as he walked out of the room.

"You guys should head home," Hotch said.

"What? Why?" Garcia asked.

"Reid's going to be in the recovery room for at least 12 more hours. Considering that Morgan and I are the only ones allowed back there at the moment, there's no reason for you all to stay here," Hotch explained.

No one protested or argued, knowing Hotch was right. As they all stood up and left the room, Hotch followed them to the elevator.

"Promise to keep us updated?" Emily asked Hotch.

"Of course."

The elevator doors opened and they climbed on. "Let us know the minute we can see our baby," Garcia ordered.

Hotch chuckled. "Don't worry, Garcia. I promise."

After the door closed, Hotch turned and returned to the waiting room, sitting down in the corner they had been in while waiting for Spencer. He texted Morgan, explaining how he sent the others home and was remaining in case either of them needed anything.

* * *

Derek couldn't get back to Spencer fast enough. Once there he smiled and sat back down in his seat and took Spencer's hand once again. He looked over at Reid and was glad to see the nasal cannula instead of the mask. He checked his phone and saw the text from Hotch and smiled more. Even though everything about Spencer's diagnosis had been thrown at the team due to an emergency and probably couldn't comprehend that this was happening, Hotch was still being that overprotective father that Spencer and he would always tease about in private.

After sending a quick reply, he put the phone in his pocket and turned to look at Spencer, getting an idea. Derek stood and moved over towards the head of the bed. He leaned over and kissed Spencer, the familiar feel of Spencer's soft lips against his own. He grinned when he felt Spencer returning it a few seconds later. As they pulled apart, Derek looked down at Spencer and felt every bad thought or feeling disappear since he was able to look into hazel eyes again.

"Hey, baby boy," Derek whispered as he cupped Spencer's face gently with his palm.

"Hi," Spencer rasped out, closing his eyes and relaxing slightly. Derek reached over to the tray table in the corner room and poured a cup of water. Grabbing a straw, he helped Spencer's take a few sips to help his dry throat.

"How're you feeling? Derek asked.

"At the moment, fine but I'm sure that's because of the morphine," Spencer said, one hand fisting the blanket as he tried to remain calm over that fact. "And how about you?"

Derek raised an eyebrow. "What about me?"

"How do you feel?"

"Relieved to know you're okay," Derek said, starting to tear up again. "Happy because everything went okay."

'"So, how bad's my hair?" Spencer mumbled, fighting the urge to reach up and touch that side of his head.

Derek grinned. "Shaved the entire side. Garcia said she would be more than happy to make it work."

Spencer smiled at that. "Did Doctor Barnes talk to you about the tests?"

Derek nodded. "Yeah. We had to tell him about the anthrax when he was trying to figure out why the respiratory distress was so obvious." He looked over and could see Spencer's eyes starting to droop shut.

"Hey, Pretty Boy, look at me real quick," Derek requested as he crouched down so he could be more eye level. Once Spencer made eye contact he continued. "I don't want to leave you, but I need to run home, change and make sure the Heywoods are okay watching Clooney for a while."

"Don't worry about it," Spencer whispered.

"Hotch will probably be here when you wake up next. Is that alright?"

"Yeah," Spencer whispered as his eyes closed,

Derek gently left a quick kiss on Spencer's forehead before making his way out towards the waiting room.

Hotch stood as Derek stepped out into the waiting room, confusion written on his face. "Everything alright?" he asked as Derek got closer.

Derek nodded and gave him a small smile. "Yeah. Everything's fine, he's asleep right now actually."

"Did he seem better at all?"

Derek nodded. "The oxygen mask got switched out for the tube. He was lucid, even complained about his hair," he said, laughing slightly. He frowned a little before continuing. "His temperature is still under 96 from the induced hypothermia. Pain wise, I'm surprised actually. I was expecting him to be in a lot more pain," Derek explained.

"It could be a numb feeling from both the morphine and the sedative wearing off," Hotch suggested. "Did you get kicked out?"

Derek shook his head. "I just wanted to run home real quick. Unless you want to go first, I-"

Hotch quickly cut him off and smiled. "Morgan, go. I'll stay with Reid until you get back. Don't worry."

Derek smiled in return and patted Hotch on the back as he walked by. "Thanks, man." Hotch nodded in confirmation and watched until Derek stepped into the elevator before turning and making his way back toward Reid's recovery room.

* * *

Author's Note: I have done extensive research for this story and as much as I have done, not everything I need can be found. For the information I couldn't find full information, I adapted it to what I hope would be generally close and make sense. Thank you to everyone who has read this story so far and the reviews, follows – everything. Thank you so much.


	13. Chapter 13

Stepping into Spencer's recovery room, Hotch smiled at the nurse who was taking Spencer's vitals. He sat down in the seat that Derek had previously occupied and tried to stay out of the nurse's way as much as possible.

"How is he doing?" Hotch asked after a few moments. He had waited until it seemed that the nurse had finished checking over what she needed.

She turned towards him and gave him a small smile. "His temperature has risen since he was moved in here," she explained, gesturing with her pen towards the screen hanging above Spencer's IV stands. 97.5 was definitely an increase from the previous 95.4. As she stepped away, Hotch was able to see Spencer and was shocked to see the oxygen mask back, when he knew Derek had mentioned that he had been switched to the nasal cannula not too long ago.

"Why is he back on the mask?"

The nurse looked from Hotch to Spencer, and then back to Hotch, a frown on her face. "Doctor Barnes mentioned the respiratory distress?"

Hotch nodded. "He said it was minor."

"It was until recently. His oxygen levels dropped from 84% to 79% and continued to rapidly decrease until we switched him back to the mask. He's currently at 75% and has been stable for the past ten minutes. If it continues to decrease, we're going to have to switch him to a ventilator."

Hotch paled when he heard the last word. "Do you, uh, do you know what caused it to drop so quickly?" he asked, stuttering.

"They're currently running blood cultures, but there doesn't seem to be any onset of infection. They're predicting both his previous respiratory problems and the induced hypothermia."

Hotch nodded and didn't say anything. He couldn't tear his eyes away from watching Spencer's chest moving up and down, hitching in places when he couldn't get a full breath.

"Sir, would you like me to page either Doctor Barnes or Doctor Stern for you? I'm sure they can answer your questions better than I could." Another wordless nod from Hotch, and the nurse left the room.

Hotch moved the chair closer to Spencer's bed and grabbed his hand, squeezing it slightly. "Keep fighting, Spencer," he whispered.

A few seconds later he was surprised to see Spencer open his eyes. After watching the young agent remember where he was, he waited as Reid's eyes searched the room, before his head lolled to the side and made eye contact with Hotch.

Aaron gave Spencer's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Everything's gonna be okay, Reid," he told him. He gave him a small smile as he felt Spencer give his hand a weak squeeze. Then Spencer's eyes began to droop again and he was asleep once more.

Hotch let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and allowed himself to hunch over in his seat, swallowing the lump in his throat and shaking his head. "You gotta stop scaring us kid," he whispered. He leaned back in his chair, still holding Reid's hand in his and went to text Morgan, knowing that he would rather know now than when he returned.

* * *

After reading Hotch's text, Derek returned to the hospital as quickly as he could. Making his way up towards Spencer's room, he stopped when he saw both Hotch and Doctor Barnes standing outside.

"Is he okay?" he asked breathlessly as he approached the two men. His gaze quickly shot over to Spencer who was still sleeping and bit his lip when he saw the oxygen mask again. "What happened?" he asked, looking back over at Doctor Barnes and Hotch.

"Respiratory distress is a common postoperative complication. What we didn't take into full effect was how much Doctor Reid's lungs were damaged from the strain of anthrax that he contracted. While in most cases, respiratory problems lead to infections like meningitis or pneumonia, this isn't the case with Doctor Reid," Barnes explained, trying to calm Derek down.

Derek stared at the man and glanced at Spencer before glancing at Hotch who gave him a nod, Derek's way of confirming that this is what he was also told. "Then why is he back on the mask?"

"After the blood cultures we took, there was no infection. Between the induced hypothermia and previous respiratory issues, this was going to happen."

"So he's going to be okay?" Derek asked.

Barnes nodded. "He'll just be on the oxygen mask a little longer and we'll make sure he has a routine of breathing exercises for when he goes home," he gave both of them a small smile.

"Is there anything else we can expect?" Hotch asked.

"There is a chance of fever, but that can be easily fought with antibiotics. Other than that, his pain management has been good so far. The anesthesia has completely worn off, so if he's in more pain, I won't be surprised. He'll be ready to move to ICU in a few hours." With a final nod between the men, Barnes gave them a smile and left them alone.

Derek released a deep sigh and rubbed a shaky hand over his head. "I thought it was going to be something worse," he whispered.

Hotch gave him a sympathetic look. "Just be glad it's not."

Derek looked over at him and nodded before stepping into Spencer's recovery area. As quietly as he could, he stepped up to the bed and kissed him on the forehead, before taking Spencer's hand in his own. Kissing his knuckles, he gave it a light squeeze and sat down in the chair closest to the bed.

He then turned to Hotch. "You should go home, get some rest."

Hotch thought it over for a few moments. "You'll be okay?"

Derek nodded. "Now that I know that he will be." Hotch gave him a smile. "Go, man. I'll call you when he's moved to ICU."

Before he left, Hotch stepped up next to the bed and squeezed Spencer's other hand carefully. He smiled slightly when he saw Spencer's head move slightly and he opened his eyes, looking at Derek, who grinned, and then looked at Hotch.

"I'm heading out for a little while," Hotch said, giving Spencer's hand another squeeze. After he pulled away and stepped to the end of the bed, both agents smiled a little more when they saw Spencer lift his hand slightly off the bed and waved before he nodded back off again.

"Bye Hotch, thank you again."

Hotch gave Morgan's shoulder a squeeze, looked over at Spencer one last time, and left the two alone.

A few hours later, Derek hadn't realized he had dozed off and was startled awake when a nurse shook his shoulder.

"Sorry," he mumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

The nurse gave him a small smile and shook her head. "No worries, Agent Morgan. We're getting ready to move Doctor Reid to ICU. We're just going to need you to step outside so we can prepare everything."

Derek nodded and stood. "No problem," he said as he stepped around her and walked past the curtain, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

He quickly sent a message to both Hotch and Garcia, explaining how they were moving him to the ICU. A few seconds later, he already had a reply.

'Let me know as SOON as I can see my baby genius!' Garcia's text said, causing Derek to grin.

'Once you know his room, let me know. I'll tell the others,' had been Hotch's.

Derek smiled at both the responses, his smile growing as Spencer's bed was wheeled out.

The back of the bed was slightly raised, and Spencer was wide awake. Derek stepped up to the bed and took Spencer's hand in his own. The nurses smiled at the pair as they started pushing Spencer's bed towards the ICU.

* * *

Spencer's time in the ICU went faster than expected, even though there were a few complications: the first day his fever had risen to 100 degrees, and remained there for a couple of days. Neither Spencer or Derek got much sleep those nights. Spencer had been taken off the morphine the second day and his body was slowly, very slowly, adjusting to the amount of pain that he was in. While he was on NSAIDs, he couldn't get comfortable between the fevers and the pain. Thankfully, he had managed to avoid infections. His fever finally broke his third day in the ICU and he was switched from the oxygen mask to the nasal cannula the day after.

Unfortunately, the team, other than Hotch and Derek, couldn't see him yet. Between the fever and the strict visiting rules for the ICU, the team figured it would be a lot easier to wait until he was moved to the neurological nursing unit. Derek never spent a night at home. He went home once a day to shower and check on Clooney, but only after he was sure that Hotch was sitting there with Spencer. Otherwise, he was either sleeping on a waiting room couch or sitting right next to Spencer's bed.

After 5 days in the ICU, Spencer was moved to a regular room in the neurological nursing unit. Spencer was also finally off the oxygen. He had to continue the breathing exercises for a little longer due to the respiratory distress. Through the frequent neurological checks performed by both the nurses and Doctor Barnes, they were happy to know that there hadn't been any signs of postoperative complications or side effects. They wanted to keep Spencer for a few more days until they knew that they had the pain management under control and make sure he'd built up the strength, along with the mobility to be able to go home.

"Good to see you sitting up and smiling, Pretty Boy," Derek said as he walked into Spencer's room on the second day. He had gone home to do a few things.

Spencer grinned in response. "I'm just glad I can finally go home in a few days."

Derek stepped closer to the bed and leaned over to kiss Spencer. He smiled as Spencer quickly responded, wrapping one hand around the young genius' neck. "Haven't been able to do that in a few days," Derek mumbled after they pulled apart. Derek had been careful, knowing that Spencer was in pain the first week after the surgery and kept their interactions to hand holding, small quick kisses, and hugging.

"I've missed this," Spencer said as he pulled Derek closer and kissed him again. "I've missed you," he whispered, pulling away and resting his forehead against Derek's.

Derek chuckled slightly as he captured Spencer's lips again and bit his bottom lip slightly as he pulled away. "Just know, Pretty Boy, when you get home? You're going to get anything you want."

There was a knocking on the door that made both of them jump before they turned towards the door. "Oh don't stop on behalf of me boys," Garcia teased as she walked into the room.

Spencer didn't say anything as he leaned back into his bed and watched Derek sit down in the chair next to him.

"I was serious," she said as she stepped towards the bed. She was holding a large plastic bag to her side and she pouted. "I thought I got details."

"Yes, details. Not visuals," Derek told her and smiled.

"Still not nice to tease the oracle, chocolate thunder," she said as she stepped over to Derek and kissed him on the cheek. "And how are you, boy wonder?" she asked as she turned to Reid.

He gave her a small smile. "Better."

"Can I hug you?" She asked, stepping towards the bed.

"Of course!"

Penelope grinned and practically threw the plastic bag at Derek. "Hold this," she ordered and gently wrapped her arms around Reid, pulling him to her as closely as she could. She gave him a tight squeeze as he buried his head in her shoulder.

"Oh, I have missed you, 187," she whispered as she kissed his temple. "It is so good to see you awake and smiling."

"I missed you too, Garcia," Spencer whispered as she pulled away and kissed his cheek.

"Baby girl, what the hell is this?" Derek asked as he inspected the bag she had thrown at him.

"Oh!" She exclaimed as she turned around and took the bag from him. "It's a present for our favorite genius."

Derek didn't even try to hide the laugh when he saw the look on Spencer's face and laughed even harder when he saw the glare.

"Oh don't worry, you're going to love it," Penelope said as she reached into the bag and pulled out a large stuffed penguin.

Spencer's eyes widened in surprise as he took the gift from Garcia as she handed it to him. "Thanks, Garcia," he mumbled as he placed it on the bed next to him.

"That penguin takes up more room than you do, Spence," Derek teased.

"Exactly! It makes it perfect for cuddling and knowing you, boy wonder, probably even a cuddly pillow."

"She's got you there, you do like to cuddle," Derek said, trying to hold back his laughter again.

"Well then maybe I'll just cuddle with this when we get home and you can take the couch," Spencer mumbled just loud enough, and grinned when he heard Derek quickly quiet down. "Thanks Garcia, I love it," he told her.

"Oh you are most certainly welcome," she told him and sat down on the end of the bed.

The three talked for a little while, Garcia asking Reid how he was feeling every few minutes. This was the first day that any of the the team finally got to come and visit Reid, Garcia being excited that she was the first. An hour or two later, Derek and Garcia turned towards Spencer and saw that he had fallen asleep. They grinned when they saw his head was resting on the the penguin.

Garcia stood up and kissed Spencer on the cheek before turning to Derek. "I'm gonna go for a little while. I wanted to be the first one to see him," she explained. "The team is planning on coming by in the afternoon."

Derek nodded and stood up, walking Garcia to the door of the unit. "Thanks for stopping by early, baby girl, that definitely means a lot to him."

"Oh it was my pleasure. Now go return to your boy and I'll see you later, angelfish." She quickly hugged him and waved as she walked around the corner.

* * *

Derek was reading a magazine in the chair next to Spencer's bed when there was a knock at the door. He looked up when he saw Garcia and JJ standing in the doorway.

"Come on in guys," he said, smiling at the pair.

"Is he still asleep?" Garcia asked as she looked at Spencer on the bed, only having moved slightly from the position he had been in since she left earlier. The left side of his face was hidden behind the penguin, his arms wrapped around it.

"Basically," Derek said, shrugging slightly. "Nurses have been in and out to check his vitals, woken him up for a few minutes, but otherwise he's been completely out."

"You came to visit without me?" JJ asked, mock surprised.

"Hey JJ," Derek greeted as he stood up and walked over to her, the two hugging.

"How's he been?" she asked, nodding her head towards Spencer.

"Better than he has been, but he's exhausted," he explained. Noticing the curious glances from both women he shrugged. "Ever since they took him off the morphine, he's more aware of the pain, but the medication they're giving him doesn't make it as intense. It's the easiest way for him to fall asleep."

The two nodded in understanding and JJ let herself look at Reid, the first time she had seen him in over a week. Her eyes widened as she saw the bandage that was wrapped around the spot.

"They seriously shaved half of his head?" she asked, looking back at Derek.

Garcia stepped closer to the two. "I noticed it earlier, but didn't want to say anything while he was awake."

"Luckily for Spencer, his hair grows pretty quick," he said giving them a small smile. "These nurses have been showing me how to change the bandage and clean the site-"

"How does it look?" JJ asked.

"It was shocking to see at first," Derek admitted, clearing his throat slightly before continuing. "It's not huge but with most of his hair missing it just stands out more. There's about 20 stitches. They've been showing me how to clean it and stuff for when I take him home."

There was a small groan from the bed that caused all three of them to look over at the bed and saw Spencer starting to wake up.

Derek smiled slightly and stepped closer to the bed as Spencer lifted his head off of the penguin. He ran a hand up and down Spencer's arm. "How are you feeling?" Derek whispered as Spencer opened his eyes and looked at him.

"Tired," Spencer mumbled running a hand over his face.

"Are you in any pain?" Derek asked, his hand moving to hover over the call button. When he saw Spencer hesitate he pushed the button, ignoring the small glare he received from the younger man.

"Don't fight me on this, baby boy. It isn't morphine and you can't keep ignoring the pain," Derek whispered. "Alright?"

Spencer bit his lip and nodded, causing Derek to grin. "Good. Ready for some visitors?"

Spencer raised an eyebrow and looked towards the door, finally noticing that JJ and Garcia were in the room. "Hey guys," he said, smiling and waving slightly.

"Hey Spence," JJ said as she stepped up next to the bed after Derek moved out of the way, hugging him instantly. Spencer quickly returned it. "It is so good to see you."

"See your new friend came in handy," Garcia said, smiling.

Spencer blushed slightly causing the other three to laugh. "It is comfy," he mumbled, looking down at his hands.

Before anyone else could say anything, there was a knock at the door. Turning around, they smiled, seeing Hotch, Emily, and Rossi standing in the doorway.

"Room for a few more?" Emily asked, walking into the room, the two men following her. She grinned when she saw Spencer awake.

"Hey guys," Spencer said waving, his voice soft. He smiled when Emily came over and kissed him on the cheek before hugging him. "It's good to see you, handsome," she whispered as she stepped away from the bed.

"How are you doing, kiddo?" Rossi asked as he stepped up to the end of Spencer's bed.

Spencer shrugged and gave the man a lopsided smile. "As good as I can be right now."

They all easily fell into a conversation and it was one of the happiest moments they'd had in days. Everyone was relieved to see Spencer awake and on the mend.

About an hour in, JJ looked at the young man in the end and giggled before turning to the team. "Seems like it's cuddle time for Doctor Reid and his penguin friend here."

As they all looked to the bed, Spencer had indeed fallen asleep, half of his face buried in the large, stuffed penguin, an arm wrapped around it.

"Should we go?" Hotch asked, his voice lower as he looked over at Derek.

Derek shook his head. "Only if you want to," he told him. "He's in a deep enough sleep that it's like we're not even in the room."

"Did they give any ideas when he could go home?" JJ asked.

"His vitals have been good and he's managing the pain surprisingly well. They're thinking probably by the end of the week, just to make sure."

"That'll definitely help him heal faster," Rossi said, and the rest of the team nodded in agreement.

The team had stayed for a couple more hours, Spencer still asleep. They were just relieved to see him and that he was healing.

* * *

A few days later, Doctor Barnes, after a few more exams, had deemed Spencer well enough to go home. Derek was handed pamphlets and other literature on how to care for the site once they were at home. After scheduling a follow up appointment in a few weeks, along with prescriptions for the pain, Derek thanked Doctor Barnes and stepped into the room. He smiled when he saw Spencer sitting upright in the bed, detached from all the machines and wrapped in his favorite cardigan. His smile grew when Derek saw Spencer's arms wrapped around the stuffed penguin from Garcia.

"Ready to blow this joint, Pretty Boy?" He asked, a nurse with a wheelchair stepping in behind him.

"More than ready," Spencer mumbled as Derek stepped up next to him and kissed his cheek. "Help me stand?"

Derek nodded and wrapped an arm around Spencer's waist. "Move slowly," Derek told him as he helped Spencer up.

Spencer whimpered slightly as he stood straight and took a few deep breaths. "You okay?" He heard Derek ask and he nodded slowly.

"It's only a few steps to the wheelchair, you're doing fine," Derek whispered to him as he guided Spencer to the chair.

As he lowered himself into the chair, Spencer let out a deep breath and unconsciously gripped the penguin tighter. "I'm good," he said, looking up at Derek's worried face.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Derek didn't say anything as he grabbed Spencer's go-bag and strung it on his shoulder. With a thankful nod towards the nurse, Derek grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed it down the hallway.

"It feels so good to be going home," Spencer mumbled as Derek pushed him into the elevator.

"It's going to feel amazing having you back home," Derek told him, smiling as he reached down and kissed Spencer on the cheek.

The rest of the short trip to get out of the hospital was quiet. As they reached the lobby, Derek had stopped pushing. Confused, Spencer turned slowly towards him.

"Hotch is picking us up," Derek explained, placing his phone in his pocket. "He's in the parking lot, I just needed to tell him he could come to the front."

Seconds later, Hotch's SUV pulled up. As Derek pushed Spencer towards the car, Hotch got out and met them on the passenger side. After opening the back door, Derek and Hotch helped Spencer slowly stand and make his way into the car. Hotch climbed back into the driver's seat as Derek went to return the wheelchair and pick up Spencer's prescriptions. He turned slightly so he could face the younger man behind him.

"Definitely a relief to see you outside of a hospital room, Reid," he said and smirked.

Spencer gave him a small in return. "Feels fantastic to be out of one," Spencer said, laughing slightly. He bit his lip and swallowed slightly before he returned his attention to Hotch. "Hotch, I just want to thank you for everything you've done these past few weeks."

"Reid, there's no reason to thank me-"

Spencer quickly cut him off. "No, I am incredibly thankful that you've been around and helping both myself and Derek. It really, really means a lot."

Hotch smiled. "I'm glad that I was able to help at all. Just know, if you two need anything, feel free to go right ahead and say so."

"Thanks, Hotch."

"You know, I actually don't know where the two of you live," Hotch pointed out a few miles into the drive.

Derek was silent for a moment before he chuckled. "Yeah, that would probably help. 452 Jay St."

As Derek put the address into the GPS, Hotch glanced at his rearview mirror and smiled when he saw Spencer asleep in the back seat. Derek then mimicked and shook his head.

"Hotch, I want to thank you for everything-"

"I just had this conversation with Reid, Hotch interrupted. "No need to thank me, I was happy to know that I was helping both of you. Also, so you know, the team is going to be helping you guys out as much as they can."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Hotch shrugged one shoulder. "Anything. Just ask."

"Thank you."

The rest of the drive was in a comfortable silence. Hotch pulled into the driveway slowly. As he turned the car off and climbed out, Derek had already moved to Spencer's seat and woke him up gently. He laughed as Spencer groaned slightly and forced his eyes open.

"We're home?" he asked.

Derek nodded as Hotch stepped up beside him. "Let's get you into the house okay?"

Spencer nodded.

"Do you think you could walk or do you want one of us to carry you?"

Spencer thought it over for a moment. "Assisted walking would be the better option." He then slowly slid out of the SUV. When he went to stand, Derek and Hotch quickly wrapped arms around his waist and helped guide him into the house.

"Couch or bed, baby boy?" Derek asked as they stepped inside.

"Bed. Definitely bed," Spencer stressed, causing the other two agents to chuckle slightly.

"The bed it is," Derek said, grinning.

A few minutes later, Spencer was laying on his side of the bed, head slightly elevated and fighting to stay awake. Noticing this, Derek stepped up and sat down on the bed, rubbing a hand up and down Spencer's leg.

"Go to sleep, kid. You're finally home," he said, kissing him on the forehead.

"Thank you," Spencer whispered, looking between the two of them before finally falling asleep.

* * *

Author's Note: Just wanted to give a heads up about the posting schedule for the next few weeks. I'm leaving Wednesday for a small vacation in Boston and my beta is on vacation beginning the day after I leave Boston and then the 22nd, a Sunday, is my birthday. I'll be posting when I get the chance but I just wanted to give you all a heads up!


	14. Chapter 14

Two hours later, Spencer slowly felt himself waking up. As he turned his head slightly, he smiled when he saw Derek asleep next to him. Carefully, he moved himself so he was resting on Derek's chest, arms wrapped around him and head nuzzled into his neck.

He moaned slightly when he felt Derek chuckle and felt Derek's hand rubbing his back. "Hello to you too, baby boy."

Spencer grunted and lifted his head slightly so he could glare at Derek.

"How're you feeling?" Derek asked, leaning over to kiss Spencer on the forehead. "Any pain?"

"No," Spencer whispered, laying his head back down.

"Anything I can get-" Before Derek could finish, Spencer cut him off, and the feeling of Spencer's lips against his own felt like home.

Derek pulled away slightly and smiled at the small moan he received from Spencer. "Are you sure you should be doing this? You just got discharged from the hospital."

"And if you had read the paperwork that Doctor Barnes gave you, you'd remember that it said this is allowed as long as it doesn't get intense," Spencer growled as he wrapped a hand around Derek's neck and pulled him down for another kiss.

He felt Derek's hands grip his biceps as his hand moved towards Derek's thigh. Derek unfortunately pulled away a moment later.

"Derek!" Spencer whined, shooting a glare at his boyfriend.

Derek made eye contact and went to say something before he caught the amount of lust in Spencer's eyes: the hazel was barely visible around large pools of black.

"How do-" Derek's voice was rough and he took a second to clear his throat before continuing. "We can't let this get too intense, baby, I don't want to hurt you." He gently palmed Spencer's cheek and kissed his forehead.

"Then I won't let you," Spencer mumbled as he began nibbling at Derek's neck, enjoying every little sound that Derek let out.

"You always know the right parts, Spence," Derek murmured as his own hands wrapped around Spencer's waist, drawing the thinner man closer.

"Missed you," Spencer whispered into his ear before claiming Derek's mouth once more.

"Missed you more," Derek mumbled as they broke away for a quick second. The feeling of Spencer's lips against his own was a sensation that he never would want to forget, and he was enjoying every second of refreshing the memory. "Think you're leaving marks too."

The two continued, kisses of passion, love bites, the feeling of being together, and everything that overcame them. When Spencer pulled away and moved so his head was buried in the crook of Derek's neck, the two of them could only grin.

Derek left a trail of small kisses around Spencer's face as the other moaned in pleasure. "How you feeling, Pretty Boy?"

"Tired," he mumbled in reply.

Derek grinned and kissed him again. "Think it's time for you to get some sleep," he said, moving so he could help Spencer move back to his side of the bed. He was stopped when Spencer wrapped a hand around his wrist and looked up at him.

"Stay with me?" he asked.

Derek smiled and nodded, leaning back into his pillows. "Wouldn't dream of doing anything else."

* * *

The next few days of Spencer's at-home recovery went slowly. Most of the time Spencer slept. While he did have the pain time-to-time, he kept it at bay with extra strength Tylenol. A week after he had been discharged, Derek and Spencer went to Doctor Barnes' office to get the stitches removed. After a quick examination, Doctor Barnes couldn't find any complications with the healing spot: it was healing nicely.

Spencer now had permission to fix his hair, a request that Garcia had demanded Derek ask. Slightly disappointed, Spencer wasn't cleared for work until another four weeks, even after that it would be desk duty and working in Garcia's lair for another two weeks.

The day after their appointment, Derek and Spencer were sitting in the living room, waiting for Garcia and JJ to come over.

"Do we really need to do this now?" Spencer whined. He was sitting on one end of the couch, Clooney's head in his lap, rubbing the dog's head.

Derek grinned and looked over at him. "Better to get it out the way, you know how persistent Garcia can be. Plus, you even said yourself, this is easier than going to an actual hair salon."

"Yeah, yeah," Spencer mumbled. "Doesn't mean I need to be happy about it."

The doorbell rang and Derek laughed when he saw Spencer giving it a glare that could almost match Hotch's.

He kissed Spencer on the forehead. "Better now than later," he teased slightly and went to the door. After looking through the peephole, he quickly undid the locks and stepped aside as he opened the door.

"Good afternoon, ladies," Derek welcomed as Garcia and JJ stepped into the house then closed the door behind them.

"Hello my dove," Garcia said smiling as she quickly hugged Derek, JJ doing the same.

"Where's my junior g-man?" She asked.

Derek grinned and gestured towards the living room. "Just a warning, he's a little grumpy." The three of them laughed as they made their way there.

"Hey Spence," JJ said as she walked in and over to the man on the couch. He looked up and smiled as he saw her, quickly shooing Clooney away so he could stand.

"Hey Jayje," Spencer greeted as he stood and hugged her. As she stepped away, Spencer chuckled as Garcia quickly took her place. Garcia kissed Spencer's face slightly, causing him to laugh more.

"Now, let's see that head of yours," Garcia demanded, slowly pushing Spencer to the couch. As he sat, he moved his head towards the light so that she had a better view.

"Can hardly see it anymore," Derek told them as he moved to sit on the back of the couch.

"His hair did always seem to grow fast," JJ pointed out.

"This should be easy then," Garcia mumbled as she pushed the longer parts every which way to figure out what she was going to do. Smiling, she turned to Derek. "Hey sugar, could you go grab your hair razor, a few towels and, wait, is he cleared for washing the area or?"

"It can," Spencer answered. "Just have to be gentle, can't have it submerged for too long and pat it dry."

Garcia nodded and looked back to Derek. "Grab whatever he needs for that. Then meet me and boy wonder in the kitchen," she ordered as she grabbed Spencer by the arm and pulled him to the kitchen, JJ following after them. Garcia pulled a chair from the dining room table and brought it to the side of the kitchen before pushing Reid into it.

"This is a nice place you've got here, Spence," JJ commented as she looked around the kitchen and the dining room.

"Thanks," he said as he turned to her, giving her a sheepish smile. "Garcia found it for us actually."

JJ smiled. "How long have the two of you been living together?"

Spencer thought it over for a moment before answering. "Unofficially, since after I got shot. I still had my apartment at the time, but Derek insisted that I stay with him until I got off the crutches. Officially? After that local case a few years ago with the couple who were abducting children."

"The one with Sarah Hillridge?" JJ asked. Spencer nodded in confirmation. "Why after that?"

"No romantic significance. My lease was up, my knee was healed and I had trouble sleeping at night without Derek. I was already practically living with him, so we figured we'd make it official."

Derek walked into the room a few moments later, carrying everything that Garcia requested. She took the towels from him, placing two on the floor around the chair and then wrapping one around Spencer's shoulders, then plugging in the razor.

Everyone remained silent and watched as Garca played with Spencer's hair a little more. The hair on the right side of his head had grown fast and looked like it had been buzzed already, and the left was significantly longer. Smiling, she turned towards Derek and JJ. "Now, shoo!"

Derek raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Why?"

"It's going to be a surprise," Garcia informed him.

"But-" He was cut off as JJ grabbed him around the wrist. "I need to talk to you anyways," she told him as she pulled him into the living room.

Pulling at her phone, she dialed a number while gesturing for Derek to take a seat, ignoring the confused look he was sending her.

"You there?" She asked to the unknown person on the other line. "Yeah, I'm doing it now. Thought you'd like to listen in."

Not hanging up, she sat down on the coffee table across from the couch, setting her phone beside her.

"JJ, what-"

"Ah-ah, no talking right now!"

"But-"

"What did I just say?"

"Who's on the phone?"

"Morgan!"

Derek let out a defeated sigh and sagged back into the couch. "Fine."

"Thank you," she said, giving him a grin. "Now, I know this is definitely overdue, but considering I just found out about all of this a few days ago, it's allowed. I'm sure you've done this for your sisters a few times and you'll be able to see where I'm coming from."

Derek watched her curiously, completely confused to what was happening.

"As Spence's honorary sister, there is one thing you need to know. I have a gun and considering the people we work with, there will not even be a body a hide if you hurt him."

"JJ-"

"Derek, just listen. From what I've seen? You two are obviously made for each other, would definitely do anything for one another. I just need to make sure you know if you hurt him in any way, well, payback's a bitch. I want your promise that you'll never harm him in any way," she threatened.

Derek remained silent and looked at JJ. He cleared his throat and kept eye contact with her. "You didn't need to give me the shovel talk, JJ. I'd rather die than hurt him."

JJ instantly grinned and wrapped her arms around Derek's neck, pulling the man into a slightly awkward hug. "I knew that, just had to hear it from you," she told him as she pulled back.

Derek smiled and then nodded towards the phone. "Who's been listening in on us?"

JJ grabbed her phone. "Sorry, Morgan, but I wanted to be there when JJ did this," Emily's voice came through the phone's speaker.

Derek grinned and shook his head, "Should've known, Princess. Did I pass the test?"

"Definitely," she responded. "I've gotta run, I'll be over to visit you and Reid later!" and the call was then disconnected.

"It is now safe to return to the kitchen!" Penelope's voice called. JJ and Derek stood and made their way to the kitchen. Walking in, Spencer was standing next to Garcia, a towel wrapped on his head.

"Please be honest," Spencer requested, looking to both JJ and Derek.

"Don't you trust me, buttercup?" Penelope asked, pouting slightly.

"Of course I do!" Spencer instantly responded, his voice cracking. "I just need some more opinions."

JJ and Derek chuckled as the two bantered back and forth. "Let us see it, mama."

Garcia grinned and grabbed the towel, slowly pulling it from Spencer's head. The three of them could do nothing but smile. As the right side remained the same, Penelope has also shortened the left side near the top of his ears heading to the back of his head. The curls were cut and the top his head was short, random tufts throughout.

"So?" Spencer asked, biting his lip.

JJ grinned. "It looks amazing."

Derek stepped closer to Spencer, Garcia moving next to JJ, allowing the two men more room.

"Derek?" Spencer whispered as he watched his lover's eyes look at his hair before moving to make contact with him. Without warning, Derek wrapped a hand around Spencer's waist and pulled him close, kissing him. Spencer automatically responded and closed his eyes, wrapped his arms around Derek's neck. The whistling and cat calls from the two woman in the room caused them to pull apart after a few minutes. Derek grinned as Spencer blushed and buried his face in the crook of Derek's neck.

"It looks perfect," Derek whispered as he kissed Spencer's temple. Spencer smiled and moved his arms to wrap around Derek's back as Derek rested his head against the side of Spencer's.

JJ and Garcia shared a quick glance, making a silent agreement. Taking a few more looks at the couple standing in the kitchen, they quietly made their way out, leaving the two alone together.

* * *

As the days continued, Spencer was getting a lot better. He didn't need to take as many naps as he had been. The surgery scar was no longer itchy and he was already building up his strength, especially doing small exercises with Derek. His energy was coming back, and there was hardly any pain left. About a week after Spencer had the stitches removed, they had another visit with Doctor Barnes to see how Spencer's recovery was going. He was extremely pleased and praised Spencer on how much he's been able to do. The big question that they had was when Spencer could return to work. Their AL had been ended the week prior. Spencer had been on medical leave after he had had a phone conference with Hotch and Strauss, but Derek was using sick days. Surprising for them both, Spencer was cleared to work the following Monday. He would send a note to Hotch describing things to look for at work, and he would be on desk duty for two weeks. He'd then have another visit to see if he would be clear to fly. They were delaying the next part of Spencer's treatment to give his body the time to recuperate from the surgery and Spencer couldn't be more than thankful.

A few days later, Spencer and Derek were up and getting ready for work. Spencer was slightly nervous. This is the first time he'd be to work in almost a month. Everyone knew who two biggest secrets and logically he knew everything was fine, his nerves were getting in the way. Standing in the kitchen, he lost himself in his brain as he waited for the coffee maker to finish. When two hands wrapped around his waist, Spencer yelped before turning slightly to see Derek.

"Dammit, Derek, you know I hate it when you do that," Spencer mumbled as the coffee finished. He grabbed his mug and Derek's, filling them both.

Derek chuckled slightly as he took his mug from Spencer and went about preparing it. "I know. You're just so cute when you squeak."

"I do not squeak," Spencer mumbled, shooting a small glare towards Derek, who grinned in response. The two then fell into a comfortable silence as they both stood in the kitchen.

After finishing his coffee, Derek rinsed it and placed it in the sink before stepping up beside Spencer, their elbows touching. "Talk to me, Pretty Boy," Derek said, bumping Spencer's shoulder with his own.

"About what?" Spencer asked, pushing his glasses a little further up his nose.

"You're nervous," Derek said simply. When Spencer went to protest, Derek quickly stopped him by placing his hand over Spencer's mouth and shaking his head. "I can tell, baby boy. You've been like this all morning. What's up?"

Spencer licked Derek's hand, smiling slightly as the other man pulled it away and rubbed it against his pants. "Was that necessary?"

Spencer shrugged and smiled as he finished off his coffee.

"Talk to me, kid." Derek pleaded.

Sticking his empty mug in the sink, Spencer's crossed his arms over his chest, turning towards Derek and leaning back towards the counter.

"They're not, they're not exactly bad nerves," Spencer began, tripping over his words slightly. "It's the 'first day of school' kind of nerves. Logically I know it's stupid, but I can't help it."

Derek didn't say anything as he stepped up next to Spencer and wrapped an arm around his waist. He smiled as Spencer leaned into his side, head resting on his shoulder.

"It's not stupid, Spence. It's normal," he said, rubbing a hand up and down Spencer's arm. "There's nothing to worry about. Plus, now the others know, you're right there in the bullpen with Emily and JJ while Hotch, Rossi, Garcia, and myself are only a second away."

Spencer turned his head to look at Derek. "How did you know-"

Derek chuckled and kissed Spencer's forehead. "I know you." He pulled Spencer in for another quick kiss, then the two made their way to work.

Derek brought Spencer to his office after they arrived in Quantico where they met Garcia. As they walked in, she quickly made her way over to them and hugged them, holding onto Spencer a little longer than Derek.

"And how are my two favorite boys this morning?" she asked as she grabbed Spencer by the arm, bringing him to the couch to sit next to her while Derek closed the door.

"Happy to be back at work," Spence mumbled. "Feels a little weird though," he admitted.

"Oh honey, trust me, I know the feeling. My first day back after medical leave I felt it was the first day of kindergarten all over again." Both Derek and Spencer smiled at that explanation.

"Any cases yet, baby girl?" Derek asked, changing the subject as he took a seat in his chair.

"Nothing's come by my desk, it's still a little early anyways," she responded.

"That was something we wanted to talk to you about," Derek began. He took a quick glance at Spencer before continuing. "Spence still isn't cleared to fly, so I was hoping that in case there are any cases that come up where we need to travel-"

"Say no more!" Garcia said, cutting Derek off. "Baby genius is welcomed to share my lair with me for as long as needed," she leaned over and kissed Spencer on the cheek.

"Are you sure you want me in your lair?" Spencer asked as Penelope wiped away the lipstick mark she left on his cheek.

"Of course! I may have been a bit territorial when you were still on crutches but that was only because the last time I had to share my office during a case was with Gideon," she explained, frowning as she uttered the man's name.

Spencer smiled, choosing to ignore the last comment. "Thank you, Garcia."

"Anything for you," she said and then turned towards Derek. "Same goes for you, Tiger."

"I appreciate it, mama!"

When Spencer stepped into the bullpen 10 minutes later and was welcomed back by the rest of the team, the nerves had automatically disappeared.

* * *

Spencer's first week back had been uneventful. They had mostly paperwork, followed by more paperwork. There were also local consults, but Spencer wasn't complaining. It had felt like he hadn't been at work for a really long time, and he welcomed his regular routine with open arms. The paperwork also allowed Spencer time to catch up with both Emily and JJ. He loved listening to Emily's stories from Paris and JJ telling him what he had missed with Henry. Spencer was also relieved that the three of them, four with Hotch, had finally worked everything out.

Near the end of the second week of Spencer's return to work, there was a case and it had luckily been local. While still not medically cleared to work in the field, Spencer was more than happy to being able to help with the case. The BAU team had been called into investigate a mass murder at an internet security office where it was revealed that the CEO was the main target. After close examination, despite the methods, they knew they were working with one killer. The following day a couple, Mark and Mary Dolan, had been murdered. The team was able to make the connection between the two murders and it led them to the Dolan's son, Luke. The CEO, Adam Werner knew Luke Dolan from being a part of the same Navy Seal's unit. When Spencer profiled him with capgras syndrome, the initial break caused from a mission called Dorado Falls. Dolan had brought himself back to Quantico where he was then caught after being reunited with both his wife and child, that being his sole mission all along.

Spencer also began spending more time with JJ and Henry, once Derek started recertification training with Emily. Derek had been nervous at first, not wanting to leave Spencer on his own for so many nights, but Spencer assured him everything would be fine. Given that they were no longer hiding their relationship, people could come over to their home, which then led to JJ and Henry sticking around until Derek got home.

After that case, Spencer went to his next appointment with Doctor Barnes. Impressed with the progress Spencer continued to make; he cleared him for flying with limited time in the field, but not forcing him to stay back at the precinct. He then wanted to take another two weeks until he did another scan. The following Monday, they received a case and while he felt sort of guilty for it, Spencer was excited. It had been two months since he had last traveled with the team, and he was looking forward to not being stuck in Quantico.

The team had been called to St. Louis to investigate child abductions. The first mother they interviewed was clinically depressed, but they were easily able to rule her out as a suspect, even given her condition. The mother obviously loved her son too much to do such a thing. Another boy was abducted,and Derek and Spencer had been sent to talk to the distraught mother. During the questioning, Spencer deduced that she was was a drug addict. The team was able to make the connections and all the abducted children shared that they had troubled mothers. The second boy had been released by the unsub and through their profile, the team was able to arrest the unsub, George Kelling, who worked as a 911 dispatcher.

One the jet home, Spencer, Derek, and Rossi were sitting in the quad seats towards the back of the cabin. Derek was apologizing to Spencer that he needed to work with Emily tonight to finish off her recertifications. Spencer obviously insisted that it would be alright and said he had no problem sitting around Quantico until Derek was finished.

"I could take you home, Reid," Rossi offered, shocking the two men across from him.

"Are you sure, Rossi? Our place is a little out of the way I wouldn't want-"

"I'm offering. Hell, I'll even make you dinner."

"I couldn't-"

"Spence, calm down. I'd feel better knowing that you're home."

Spencer looked between the two of them and sighed. "Thank you, Rossi. I definitely appreciate it."

* * *

The drive home with Rossi was silent, both profilers obviously exhausted. Thankfully, Derek and he didn't live too far from work and they were soon pulling in the driveway.

"Thank you for this Rossi," Spencer smiled at him as he unlocked the door and walked inside. After closing the door, he grabbed the dog leashed and turned towards Rossi.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo. I was more than happy to help you out, plus it looks like you need to eat more," Rossi teased as he handed Spencer his jacket.

"The kitchen is down this hall on your left," Spencer explained gesturing down the hall. "I'm going to go grab Clooney from the Haywoods, walk him real quick, and be back."

"Take your time!" Rossi called out as he made his way to the kitchen and Spencer went to grab Clooney.

Walking in 10 minutes later, Spencer was surprised to see that dinner was already done. "That was quick," Spencer said as he stepped into the kitchen.

Rossi had made spaghetti and was spreading what seemed like his own cheese mix over the sauce. "You guys need to hit the store," Rossi said, smiling as he grabbed the two bowls and moved them to the dining room.

"Would you like anything to drink?" Spencer asked as he grabbed the silverware and napkins, placing them on the table.

"Water's fine," Rossi replied, taking a seat down at the table. Spencer quickly grabbed two cups and a pitcher as he then sat down across from Rossi.

Dinner passed in a comfortable silence. They had both finished their plates and were moving everything to the dishwasher.

"That was fantastic," Spencer told him as he turned the dishwasher on.

"Glad you enjoyed," Rossi said, giving him a smile. "Could we possibly move to the living room, there was something I wanted to talking about."

Spencer raised an eyebrow in confusion before nodding. He quickly led the way to the living room, Spencer taking a seat on the couch beside Clooney as Rossi took the adjacent armchair.

"What did you wanna talk about?" Spencer asked, trying to avoid the awkward silence that would've appeared.

Dave took a quick breath before leaning forward, resting his arms on his knees. "Before this case, I met Carolyn."

"Who's Carolyn?" Spencer asked, sending him an apologetic look after realizing he interrupted.

Rossi gave him a reassuring smile. "First wife." He cleared his throat slightly. "Reid, before I continue, there are few questions I want to ask, but I don't want to step over the line of what is okay and not okay to ask."

Spencer gave him a curious look before shrugging. "We could just agree that if I don't feel comfortable answering, I don't need to?"

Rossi nodded in agreement. "Like I said, the two of us had dinner the night before we left. We had met earlier that morning, but she was going to be late to work. After dinner, I went back to her apartment, and she told me she had ALS."

Spencer sat up straight and stared at the other man, the feeling of sympathy taking over. "I am so sorry, David," Spencer whispered, reaching forward taking one of Rossi's hands in his own, squeezing it.

Rossi immediately squeezed back and looked over at the younger agent with a teary smile. "I know this isn't the best topic to discuss with you, but-"

"I have personal experience," Spencer finished for him. Dave nodded. "I'm more than happy to answer questions," he told him softly.

Rossi took a deep breath and let it out. "How long did you keep your diagnosis from Morgan?"

Spencer blinked, obviously not even anticipating a question like that. "A few months."

"And what brought you to finally tell him?"

"I knew I wouldn't to do it on my own, I was scared."

Rossi nodded slightly and looked at his hands. "Carolyn told me that she doesn't have that long left. She's had it for a few months, but only started noticing the symptoms a few months ago."

Spencer bit his lip and blinked the tears out of his eyes. It wasn't common that Rossi opened to people like this, and Spencer has never seen the older agent this vulnerable.

"There was nothing the doctors could do?" Spencer asked after a few minutes, voice cracking slightly.

Rossi shook his head. "Nothing that would matter, really." Spencer squeezed Dave's hand once again as he saw the tears spill from his eyes.

A few minutes later, after they had calmed down, Rossi stood from his spot and moved to sit next to Spencer on the couch.

"Is it okay if I ask you a few more questions?" Spencer nodded.

"Has there, uh, has there been any time since your diagnosis that you wanted to just give up?" Rossi asked, stuttering slightly.

Spencer remained quiet as he took a few moments to think over the question. He let his tears fall as he turned his head towards Rossi and nodded. "There have been times when all I could do is think, and my mind automatically starts taking the statistics, transforming them into so many outcomes," Spencer choked out.

Rossi's heart broke as he watched the young man sob. Over the years of the two of them working in the BAU, the two had formed a friendship, and Rossi had always felt slightly overprotective of the genius, but so did the rest of the team. Surprising them both, Rossi moved Spencer and hugged him, letting the man cry into his shoulder as he rubbed a hand up and down his spine. They sat there for a few minutes as Spencer calmed down. A few minutes after that, Spencer pulled away, wiping the stray tears from his eyes.

"Sorry," Spencer choked out.

Rossi grabbed both of his wrists, pulling them away from Spencer's face. Spencer looked over at him with red and puffy eyes, confused.

"Kiddo, there's nothing to apologize for," he explained, giving him a small smile. "You're going through a lot right now, and you seem to be handling it well."

Blushing slightly, Spencer looked away and down at his lap.

"Reid," Rossi called, no reaction. "Spencer!" The sound of his first name made Spencer react quickly and look at the other agent.

"You're not alone in this. If you ever need anything talk to me. Call me, email me, if we're at work, come in my office. I don't want to hear of you hiding important things from the team, especially now. I take care of my own."

Spencer gave him a small smile, letting out a forced chuckle. "Yes Uncle Rossi," he teased.

Rossi made a satisfied face as he thought the name over and nodded. "Uncle Rossi, I like it." He ruffled Spencer's hair and got the younger man to laugh, and he grinned.

"Thank you, Dave, really."


	15. Chapter 15

After that night, the team could see that Spencer and Rossi's relationship had changed. They didn't know why or how, but no one was worried, and they weren't going to question it. At least, not at first.

A few mornings later, Emily and JJ were sitting at Emily's desk, watching Rossi from afar. The man was sitting at the table in the break area, absently flipping through a magazine.

"Something's wrong," JJ said, turning to Emily.

"How can you tell?" Emily asked.

"He hasn't turned that page for a while," JJ replied, shrugging.

"Insert Doctor Reid's exact time observation here," Emily teased. When Spencer didn't respond, the two of them turned towards him. Spencer was flipping through files on his desk while working on his paperwork from the past case.

"Spencer," JJ whistled and reached forward to shake his shoulder.

Jumping slightly, he turned towards them, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "What's up?"

"You didn't hear us calling you?" Emily asked, shooting a worried glance at JJ.

Spencer shook his head. "Sorry, no, is there something you need?"

"Do you think there's something going on with Rossi?" Emily asked, nodding her head in the direction of the older agent.

Spencer looked towards him before shaking his head. He, of course, knew what was going on and what was bugging Rossi, but it wasn't his place to talk about it. "Not really," he lied, shrugging.

"I think I need to talk to him, I'm worried," Emily said as she stood up. JJ followed her lead and then grabbed Spencer by the arm, dragging him along despite his protests.

"Maybe we should just leave him alone," Spencer mumbled, but he knew it fell upon deaf ears.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked as they stepped up to the table.

Rossi glanced at her and then to Spencer who in turned shook his head, alerting him that Spencer hadn't said anything. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You seem distracted," JJ told him, gesturing towards the magazine in his hands.

Rossi hesitated before responding. "I'm considering a purchase..."

There was a snort from behind the group and Derek stepped up to the table. "Come on now, Rossi, you know we're not buying that. What's really going on?"

"Where the hell did you come from?" Spencer asked as he glanced over at Morgan.

"I came in here a little earlier and noticed the same things."

"Glad to know I'm being watched by the neighborhood watch of the BAU," Rossi grumbled sarcastically.

"Come on Rossi, you know you can talk to us," Emily said as she sat down in the chair across from him.

Rossi let out a defeated sigh. "Uh, look, it was a late night with Ringo and not enough coffee. I mean, the guy's a world-class drummer, but don't think I didn't wipe the floor with him in Rock Band."

Spencer bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing while Emily, JJ, and Derek shared an annoyed look.

"What do you think?" JJ asked, looking at the others.

"He could be telling the truth. I only played him to the easy level," Spencer joked, ignoring the surprised looks from the others.

"I can't tell," Emily mumbled, glaring at Rossi.

"And you never will," Rossi said, smirking and sharing an amused look with Reid.

* * *

They had been called in for a case in Angeles National Forest, California, after three bodies had been discovered near Ridge Canyon Lake. What had drawn the BAU in was when they were alerted that Nick Skirvin had been abducted earlier that morning. The news that he had been found dead alongside the forest's adjacent Lake Banter was received on the jet ride there, completely throwing the team off on the unsub's victimology. While the first three victims were all dark haired, well-built men, Nick was an average blonde.

Morgan and Hotch had gone to investigate the dumpsites, while Rossi and JJ interviewed those close to the victims, and Emily and Reid had gone to visit the ME.

When the team regrouped, they tried to pull together the base of a profile. Rossi and JJ hadn't learned much from talking to the families, except that the unsub was able to blend in with the groups, somewhere between his 20's and 30's, and also discovering that each victim had been chosen for a reason.

Emily and Spencer had learned while all victims were drowned, Jack Shepard had been asphyxiated prior to being submerged. In all four victims, evidence of broken ribs and damage to the sternum indicated severe chest compression, yet there were no signs of external trauma. From that, it seemed that the unsub was performing CPR on the victims. There were signs of multiple resuscitations on all but Jake Shepherd.

Looking over the photos of the victims and going over everything they learned, the team began to profile.

"Looks like we're definitely looking at a sadist. Killing them once isn't enough. He has to resuscitate his victims until he can't bring them back again," Morgan said as he turned from looking at the evidence board.

"So why the change from choking to multiple drowning?" JJ asked.

"With the damage to Jake's throat, the unsub wasn't able to successfully resuscitate him," Spencer informed them.

"Resuscitating them makes him feel more powerful," Hotch listed.

"Which means he has no power in his everyday life." Rossi followed.

"Well, the change in victimology is interesting. Nick Skirvin was the smallest, but he had the most defensive wounds on his body," Emily pointed out.

"He fought back the most," Hotch deduced.

"Maybe the unsub was injured in one of the attacks. He's targeting easier prey to complete his endgame," before Rossi had the chance to continue, his phone ringing cut him off. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. "Excuse me," he muttered as he stood and left the room.

Spencer watched him with an apologetic look and could see a concerned looking Hotch in his peripheral.

"There's something else," Spencer began a few moments later. "The M.E. tested diatom levels in the bodies, and it turns out the unsub drowns his victims at different locations every time, not just where he abducts them or where the bodies are later discovered."

"Well, that's pretty risky, considering the community's on full alert. This guy's intelligent, resourceful, and criminally sophisticated," Derek pointed out.

"Why is transporting the bodies so important to him?" Hotch asked, leaving the question out in the open, the team knowing that they needed to find that answer to get to their unsub.

Spencer turned towards the briefing room where he could see Rossi talking on the phone. From his behavior, Spencer could tell it wasn't anything good, and all he could do was hope that Rossi would be alright.

The next morning, the team had learned that a fifth victim's body had been found. Emily and Spencer went to visit the ME to get the results of the autopsy.

On the drive there, Emily decided to take some time to talk to Spencer.

"What do you think is going on with Rossi?" Emily asked as they drove out of the precinct's parking lot.

"Excuse me?" Spencer asked, obviously confused.

"Come on, Reid, don't tell me you haven't noticed."

"Noticed what?"

"The way Rossi's been acting the past few weeks?"

"Not particularly," Spencer mumbled as he turned his head to look out the window.

Emily looked over at him and let out an exasperated sigh. "Come on, Reid! You know something, don't you?"

Spencer's head snapped back towards her. "What makes you think that?"

Emily shrugged. "I can just tell. If you didn't know something already, you would've been observing him right along with JJ and I in the bullpen. Probably timing how long it had been since he turned a page or something like that."

Spencer remained silent, wrapping his arms around his waist and looking back out the window.

"Tell me I'm wrong," Emily challenged.

Spencer closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I do know something, but it's not my place to say anything, and if Rossi wants to share with you then he will, but please don't try to get it out of me, it's not going to work."

Emily didn't say anything after that, silently respecting Spencer's request. They pulled up to the ME's office a few minutes later. As they were climbing out of the car, Spencer turned to her.

"I'm sorry for being short with you, Emily. It's just-"

"Stop right there, Doctor Reid," Emily said, cutting him off. "There's no reason to be sorry. We'll just push it aside and forget it happened." She gave him a small smile, which he quickly returned as they walked into the building.

Greeting the ME from yesterday, they waited for her to get everything prepared.

As Doctor Carroll pulled the autopsy table and lifted the sheet of the 5th victim, both Emily and Spencer were surprised.

"He killed a woman this time? This guy's all over the map," Emily said as she looked over the victim's body.

"Diatom readings indicate he didn't move the body after he drowned her," Doctor Carroll explained, reading from the toxicology report.

"Postmortem wounds. Overkill consistent with rage. Is he unraveling because we took away his underwater graveyard?" Spencer hypothesized.

"She lasted longer in the fight than Nick Skirvin. This feels desperate," Emily pointed out.

"Take a look at this. There was blood on the body that didn't match type to the victim. It shows a severely low white blood cell count. I'm running tests to be more conclusive," explained as she stepped over to microscope, Spencer following her.

After Spencer had observed everything that could be seen through the microscope, he stood up and turned towards Emily. "If this unsub is sick and getting weak, it would explain why he's no longer weighing his victims down."

"Well, the only consistency to his M.O. is the drowning and resuscitation. That's what's most important to him," Emily added.

"Well if that's the case, I'd say he isn't too happy right now," Doctor Carroll added.

"Why is that?" Spencer asked, turning towards her.

"Well, the only consistency to his M.O. is the drowning and resuscitation. That's what's most important to him," she explained.

Emily and Spencer shared a look as Spencer grabbed his phone out of his pocket and dialed Hotch. "Hey, it's Reid," he said after Hotch had picked up. "I think we're ready to give the profile."

* * *

Their profile was a white male in his mid-to-late 20s and definitely local to the area, considering the locations of the dump sites. A sadist with a God complex, gets off by killing his victims over and over again, vital that he's able to bring them back from the dead. His MO drastically changed as they found more victims, and the diatom levels showed that he had stopped moving his victims altogether. The changes to his behavior led them to believe that he has been injured or sick with experience in CPR. They were to look at doctors, lifeguards, people who had training in resuscitation.

After delivering their profile, they had all agreed to take a short quick lunch. After Spencer had finished eating, he walked around the precinct and found Rossi sitting alone in a conference room He hesitated as he thought over what he should do. A moment or two later, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door, pushing it open.

Rossi looked up at him as Spencer stepped into the room and took a seat in the chair adjacent to Rossi. "I'm guessing that wasn't Ringo who called you on the phone yesterday."

"It was Carolyn," Rossi told him as he sat up a little straighter in his chair.

Spencer bit his lip and sent the older man a sympathetic glaze. "How's she doing?"

Rossi shrugged. "Same as she was before, nothing improved, but nothing worse."

"What do you need?"

Rossi shook his head. "It's not what I need, it's about what she's asking me to do."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember the other day when I asked you about giving up?"

Spencer nodded, confused as he wasn't really understanding.

"The disease is acting faster than they expected and Carolyn is already suffering, but she doesn't want to go out that way," Rossi explained. "She wants to die on her own terms."

Spencer remained silent, sensing that Rossi wasn't done yet. He took the few moments of silence to absorb everything Rossi had just told him as he waited for the other man to continue.

"And when this case is over and we get back? She asked if I would help her do it."

Spencer sat there, shocked, and really unsure of how to react. "What are you going to do?" he hesitantly asked.

"I don't have a choice," Rossi responded, his voice a harsh whisper.

The two continued to sit there in silence for a few moments, both unsure of what to do next. It was Rossi who broke the silence as he looked to Reid.

"Reid, could you promise something?"

Spencer nodded. "Anything."

"If, and I stress if, this whole thing gets too hard for you? Promise me you'll let us help you, that you just won't give in," Rossi pleaded to him.

Spencer bit his lip, unsure of how to respond to that.

"I know this was Carolyn's choice but I want to know that you trust us enough to help you," and after that Spencer found himself wrapped in another bear hug from David Rossi. "Promise me, kiddo, please?"

"I promise," Spencer whispered, letting the tears fall silently down his cheek.

Knowing that Rossi needed some time alone, he left the man in the conference room and started making his way back to the area the precinct had provided for them. On his way there, he received a phone call. He walked into the room a few minutes later as he ended his phone call and shoved his phone back in his pocket.

"That was Doctor Carroll," he announced as he sat down at the table next to JJ. "Preliminary test results show the unsub has cancer of the blood. He's dying." Everyone ignored the way his voice went up an octave as he finished off the explanation.

"All right, wait a minute. Witnesses said Jake Shepherd, the first victim, was out on the lake for a baptism, right?" Derek asked.

"He was with his congregation," JJ replied, nodding.

"Well, those water burials could be seen as a form of baptism, too," he pointed out.

"Especially when dealing with an unsub who has a God complex," Spencer added.

"What if there's a religious or spiritual motivation to why the unsub is doing this?" Derek suggested.

Hotch pulled his phone out, dialing Garcia's number and placing it on the table after turning her on speaker.

"Speak and be heard!"

"Garcia, I need you to pull up a list of patients with any form of blood cancer," Hotch requested.

"I'll make HIPAA my bitch, sir," she said as they heard typing in the background.

"I also need information on Jake Shepherd; religious ties, spiritual background, anything."

"All that information will make it a fast search. Give me a mo- Spiritual," she mumbled as she typed everything into her system. "Something heaven-sent other than my angelic self. Bam!"

"Whoa!" She exclaimed as a newspaper article popped up. "Jake Shepherd joined the church after a near-death experience changed his life," she read.

"What happened to him?" Hotch asked.

"He was in an ATV accident; he coded for 4 minutes. He was airlifted to LA where they managed to revive him, but clinically, he did die."

"Death and resuscitation? That sounds a little too similar to our unsub's MO to be a coincidence," JJ pointed out.

"Alright, Garcia, dig deeper. Jake Shepherd's death wasn't random," Hotch ordered.

"It is on like Obi-wan, Garcia out!" she replied and the call was disconnected.

"So, a terminally ill unsub targets a man who came back from the dead, and then starts killing repeatedly. I mean, am I crazy, or is this about a guy trying to come to terms with his own death?" Derek asked, looking around at the others.

"Yeah, but finding out you're gonna die isn't enough to make somebody a psychopath," Hotch pointed out.

"It does, however, explain why he stopped strangling his victims. How do you find out about death?" Spencer said looking around at the rest of them.

"You ask someone who died," JJ answered.

"Is he bringing his victims back so he can talk to them?" Hotch asked. Before they had a chance to start the discussion, Emily and Rossi returned to the room, the team quickly catching them up on everything they learned.

They then received a phone call from Garcia. "Jenkies, the more I dig the more it gets creep. Okay, the first victim, Jake Shepherd had an interesting life, and I'm using 'interesting' in replace of the phrase 'he was a big hoodlum'," she explained. Everyone remained quiet as Garcia continued to give them more information.

"He had a history of truancy, petty theft, domestic disturbances, all of which landed him in the juvenile hall for some stints during high school, as you can imagine."

"Was there trouble at home?" Rossi asked.

"From what I learned from the mother not at all, that he just fell in with the wrong crowd," Emily responded.

"The drug and sexy parties kind," Garcia added.

"His mother then explained after his accident, that he hadn't just 'died', he was saved," Emily told them.

"Jake Shepherd saw the light, like literally. It's been recorded that he spoke of a gentle light and a silhouetted figure bathed in warmth who welcome him but told him it wasn't his time. That he woke up a changed man," Garcia told them, reading through the reports on her computer.

With a promise to call back with any more information, she hung up, leaving the profilers to work on their profile with the new information.

"If this unsub is so obsessed with death, then Jake Shepherd was the perfect person to talk to. He'd been there and back again," Hotch said.

"C'mon guys," Derek spoke up, sounding a tad annoyed. "Gentle lights, shadowy figures. Those are the lights in the emergency room and the doctors hovering over the patients. We all know that. No one actually sees the afterlife."

"I did," Spencer's soft voice caused them all to turn towards him in surprise. Ignoring the looks he was getting from the others, he continued. "Before Tobias Hankel resuscitated me, I had that exact experience, and I wasn't in an emergency room. I was in a shed."

"Spencer, you never told me that," Derek pointed out, trying to disguise the anger in his tone.

Spencer gave him a guilty look as he licked his lips. "I'm a man of science. I- I didn't know how to deal with it. Th- There's no quantifiable proof that God exists, and yet, in that moment, I was faced with something that I couldn't explain. I still can't."

Spencer decided staring at the floor would be the best option to avoid all the looks the team was giving, and more specifically, the look he was getting from Derek.

"What if this unsub has had a similar experience, and this is his way of looking for answers?" Hotch suggested, trying to pull the focus away from Reid.

"If that's the case, why kill Jake Shepherd, why not just talk to him?" Rossi asked.

"He wanted to see if he had the same experience as before," Emily replied.

"Once isn't enough?" JJ asked.

Emily shook her head. "Not if Jake didn't see the same thing the unsub did. He wants to know if the experience can change. I can relate to that." Seeing the looks she was getting from the others, she quickly explained. "Um, Reid felt a warmth and saw a light. When I coded in the ambulance, all I felt was cold and darkness. And I would like to think that there's a different future waiting for me."

"You actually died?" Spencer had finally looked back and his voice made him sound so small.

Derek knew he had to continue the conversation, despite what everyone was feeling at the moment. "All right, but resuscitation is hit or miss. He can't guarantee that he can actually bring anyone back, let alone that anyone will remember what happened in their moment of so-called death."

"Reid, what's the best way to make sure his victims had an experience?" Rossi asked.

"Keep them dead longer."

Looking around the room, the team knew they needed to give Morgan and Reid a few moments. Making the silent agreement, they left the room, leaving the two lovers alone.

Spencer stayed where he was standing, fidgeting with the sleeves of his cardigan. Derek sighed and stood up, walking over to him. Even standing inches away from him, Spencer didn't move.

"Baby boy, look at me," Derek pleaded. Spencer didn't react. Sighing, Derek quickly wrapped an arm around Spencer's waist, pulling the thinner man away from where he was leaning against the wall to Derek's chest. "What's wrong?"

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" Spencer mumbled into the fabric on Derek's shoulder.

Derek's eyebrows shot up in surprise as he pulled Spencer away from him gently, so that they were looking face to face. "What gave you the idea I was mad at you?"

Spencer bit his lip. "You obviously weren't too pleased that I withheld information related to Tobias from you," Spencer whispered in response.

Derek wrapped a hand around Spencer's neck, keeping the other firmly on his hip and pulled him into a kiss. As he pulled away, he bit Spencer's lower lip before leaving a trail of small pecks up to his ear. "Think I'm mad at you now?" he whispered.

Spencer shook his head and kissed Derek again. "I'm sorry," he whispered after he pulled away, resting his forehead against Derek's.

"For what, baby boy?"

"Not telling you?"

Derek sighed. "You don't need to worry about that. I'm not mad, but I'm proud of you."

"For what?" Spencer asked, confused.

"I'm pretty sure that's the first time you've mentioned anything about Georgia in front of the team, and so calmly too," Derek growled as he started leaving love bites on Spencer's exposed neck.

Spencer bit back the moan and pushed Derek slightly away. "Derek, as much as I would love for this to continue, this is neither the time nor place, and I don't know what I would do with myself if Hotch walked in here."

Derek chuckled slightly. "Better him than JJ or Emily, they'd send Garcia pictures." He ruffled Spencer's hair gently and kissed his temple. "Continue when we get home?" he asked, rubbing a hand up and down Spencer's back.

"Definitely."

* * *

When the call came in that an abandoned vehicle belonging to a woman had been found, the team immediately jumped into action. The drive to the location, between the information that was given from both Spencer and Garcia, they had found their unsub: a man named Chase Whitaker, who was suffering from a terminal case of lymphoma.

When they had arrived on the scene, the team came upon Whitaker trying to drown a boy, the son of the woman who owned the car. They had managed to talk Whitaker into releasing Evan before he fell back in the water and tried to drown himself.

Being the closest, Emily and Spencer dove into the lake, grabbing Whitaker and resuscitated him. They quickly handcuffed him and passed him over to the locals.

As Spencer and Emily hiked back up to the area where the rest of the team was waiting, Spencer was confused by the disapproving look he was receiving from Derek.

"What?" Spencer asked as he stepped up the man. Derek didn't say anything as he wrapped a space blanket around Spencer's shoulders. "Is this necessary?"

Derek remained silent as he placed his hand on the small of Spencer's back and guided him back to the SUV's.

"Derek, say something, please," Spencer pleaded as the two stopped in front of the loaned vehicles.

"While I'm proud of you," Derek began, gently running a hand through Spencer's wet hair, "it was stupid."

"What was stupid?"

"Getting in the water," Derek said simply, opening the back door to the SUV, helping Spencer slide in before climbing in next to him.

"We had to grab the unsub. I couldn't just-" Spencer was cut off as Derek kissed him, automatically losing whatever train of thought he was on.

"Best off button ever," JJ said from the front passenger seat. Both of them turned towards her to see her grinning at the two. "Keep going, no need to stop because of me."

"Garcia said the same thing," Spencer mumbled as he started to take the blanket off. He was quickly stopped when he felt Derek keep it in place on his shoulders. "Derek! Seriously?"

"You jumped into a lake filled with cold water, in case you couldn't tell, you're shivering," Derek pointed out as he wrapped an arm around Spencer's waist and pulled him into his side.

"I am?"

"He's right, Spence," JJ said, giving him a small smile.

"You'd better not get sick," Derek mumbled as Hotch climbed into the driver's seat.

"I won't."

"Famous last words," Hotch snorted as he turned the car on.

Spencer pouted slightly as he turned and shoved his head in Derek's shoulder. Derek chuckled and rubbed Spencer's back. "Don't worry, Pretty Boy. You'll be fine"

* * *

The next morning after they had arrived home from the case, Spencer rolled over in bed and frowned when he realized Morgan wasn't there.

Slowly opening his eyes, his body started to wake itself up, all his senses coming back. The first thing he felt was congested and he groaned as he realized his throat was a little sore.

He was sick: Derek was right and now he got to play the 'told you so' game. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes before putting on his glasses and running a hand through his hair. He slowly stood up and grabbed his robe from the top of the hamper, before leaving the bedroom on a mission for tea.

When he shuffled into the kitchen, he found Derek leaning over the counter near the coffee maker and  
reading the newspaper. Spencer moved as quietly as he could until he was standing behind Derek's back. He wrapped his arms around the other man and shoved his face into the back of Derek's shirt.

Derek chuckled slightly as he turned in Spencer's arms and wrapped his own around the thinner man, Spencer resting his head against Derek's shoulder.

"Morning," Derek welcomed as he kissed the top of Spencer's head.

Spencer grunted in reply, causing Derek to raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"Everything okay?" he asked, rubbing a hand up and down Spencer's back.

"I'm sick," Spencer mumbled. "Feel free to say 'I told you so'."

Derek smiled and shook his head before separating himself from Spencer's arms and dragging him to the living room, forcing him to sit on the couch.

"What are you doing? We need to get ready for work," Spencer said, looking up at Derek.

"Wrong, kid. I'm calling Hotch and telling him we're both staying home," Derek explained, before heading back to the bedroom to grab to his phone.

"I'm not that sick," Spencer called out to him, but his body betrayed him as he coughed into his hand.

"You were saying?" Derek teased as he stepped back into the room.

"There's no reason for both of us to stay home, you go to work," Spencer told him as he relaxed into the couch and closed his eyes.

Derek frowned and stood, heading for the bathroom.

"Where are you going now?" Spencer asked, having heard his footsteps.

"Just grabbing something, hold on."

Spencer sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them before resting his head on his knees. He had a slight headache and he knew that was from his being sick, rather than relating to the glioblastoma. His nose was stuffed, his throat was sore, and he was pretty sure he had developed a low-grade fever.

"Why did I do something so stupid?" Spencer grumbled.

"I agree, jumping into a cold lake after an unsub wasn't one of your smarter ideas," Derek teased as he came back into the room.

Spencer glared at him in return which only caused Derek to laugh before kissing his forehead.

Derek sat down on the couch next to him and pulled out the first-aid kit he had gone to the bathroom to get and opened it, grabbing the thermometer.

"Open up," Derek ordered as he handed it to Spencer to put under his tongue. "Now to keep it there until it beeps, I'm going to call Hotch."

Derek stood up and walked to the doorway of the living room, dialing Hotch's number.

"Hotchner."

"Hey, Hotch it's Morgan. I just wanted to call to let you know that Spencer and I won't be in today," Derek explained as he looked over at Spencer, who was still waiting for the thermometer to beep.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," Derek  
quickly said, letting Hotch know it wasn't an emergency. "Like we predicted, he's sick from jumping into the water after the unsub."

"Figured that was going to happen. There don't seem to be any cases coming by today, so you don't even need to worry about missing a case."

Derek smiled to himself. "Thanks, Hotch."

"No problem. Tell him I hope he get's better quick, and if you need anything, just let me know."

"Will do. Thanks again," and he hung up the phone. He placed it back into the pocket of the hoodie he was wearing and made his way back over to Spencer.

Spencer looked up from the thermometer in his hands as Derek approached.

"And?" Derek asked.

Spencer bit his lip. "101.5," he rasped, giving Derek a worried look.

Understanding why Spencer was so worried about that number, he quickly leaned over and kissed Spencer, hoping to get him to calm down.

"It's been a while since your surgery, baby boy. This isn't going to set you back," he whispered to him.

Spencer looked up at him then back down, shrugging. "I know, but-"

"You'd rather know now than have to fix a harder problem later," Derek finished for him.

"Not in so many words, but yeah," Spencer said, nodding.

"Do you want me to call Doctor Barnes?"

Spencer thought it over for a moment before nodding. Derek pulled his phone back out and took a seat next to Spencer as he dialed the doctor's number.

Spencer only half listened to the conversation as he tried to keep the pain of the headache at bay. He didn't even know that Derek had finished the call until Derek had wrapped an arm around his waist.

"What did he say?" Spencer asked.

"After I explained to him what happened on the case, he said there isn't a huge risk or anything too severe to worry about," Derek explained. "He wants us to keep monitoring the fever, but otherwise, you should be fine."

Spencer let out a relieved sigh and shimmied closer to Derek, resting his head on his shoulder.

"How about we move you back to bed and you can try to sleep a little more?" Derek suggested.

Spencer lifted his head up and thought it over for a few moments before nodding.

Derek smiled and stood up, pulling Spencer with him. As they made their way into their bedroom, Spencer climbed in first and after Derek had settled, he wrapped his arms around Derek's waist, using his chest as a pillow. The rhythm of Derek running his fingers through his hair made it easy for him to fall back asleep.

A few minutes later, Derek's phone went off and he cursed himself for not turning it on silent. Quickly grabbing it, he muted it and took a look at Spencer who was thankfully still asleep. Looking at the caller ID, he answered. "Hey, baby girl. You're gonna have to give me a minute," he said in lieu of greeting. Not waiting for a reply, he carefully and slowly moved out of the bed and made his way down the hallway. "Sorry about that, mama, didn't want to wake Spencer up," he explained as he took a seat in one of the armchairs in the living room.

"Is he okay?" she asked. "There's no hospital alert on my program, so it can't be anything life threatening, but you and him both took off today. Which is a strange thing on its own considering Reid would-"

"Penelope!" He exclaimed, cutting her off. "Calm down."

"Why are you guys home?"

Derek sighed and ran a hand over his head. "You know how he and Emily had to jump into the lake to grab that unsub yesterday?"

"Yes."

"Between the temperature of the water and his weak immune system from the surgery, he's sick," Derek explained.

"Like, it's a cold sick?"

"Yes, that's all. I've already called his doctor, everything's fine. Now he's just in the bedroom sleeping."

"Oh, my poor 187. Is there anything I can do? I could bring him some candy, some books, a friend for his penguin?"

Derek chuckled at the last one. "He's fine, baby girl. We don't need anything, I appreciate the offer though."

"Anything for my two favorite boys. Could I maybe stop by after work?"

"You don't need to do that, baby girl."

"I want to! Please?" she begged.

"Fine, fine. And Garcia?"

"Yes?"

"Don't go too crazy on the gifts," Derek teased.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," and with that, she hung up.

Derek smiled and shook his head before making his way towards the bedroom. Returning to his spot on the bed, he couldn't help but grin when Spencer rolled over in his sleep and quickly reattached himself to Derek. "I love you, baby boy." Derek mumbled as he kissed the top of Spencer's head before falling asleep himself.


	16. Chapter 16

Derek had woken up a few hours later, not realizing he had fallen asleep. He turned in bed to see Spencer still sleeping. He smiled and slowly got out of bed so he wouldn't wake him up. He let Clooney out and started thinking about what they were going to do for dinner. He also wasn't sure what time Garcia would be stopping by, and that's something that you should prepare for. Knowing it would probably be better to wait for Spencer to wake to see what he could handle, he let Clooney back in, before settling down on the couch and filling out the paperwork, both his and Spencer's, for the next case.

About an hour later, there was a knock at the door. Expecting it to be Garcia, he opened the door without looking through the peephole and was surprised to see Rossi standing here.

"Not what you were expecting?" Rossi teased, seeing the confusion on Derek's face.

"You're definitely not my, Baby Girl," Derek replied, chuckling as he stepped aside to let Rossi in. "Not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, but what are you doing here?"

"I came to see Reid. How's he feeling anyway?"

"He's been asleep since this morning. I ended up falling asleep with him and only got up an hour ago," Derek explained, rubbing a hand over his head.

"Is he up for visitors? There's something I need to talk to him about."

Derek took a few moments and looked over Rossi. While the man's face and body behavior wasn't too different, his eyes portrayed a different situation.

"Lemme ask him. Feel free to make yourself at home," Derek said as he made his way to the bedroom.

Opening the door, he couldn't help but smile when he saw that Clooney had curled up on Derek's side of the bed with Spencer laying next to him, wrapped in the blankets.

Walking over to the bed, he sat down next to Spencer before shaking his shoulder. The only response was a groan. "Spence, you gotta wake up for a minute," Derek said as he continued to shake his shoulder.

"Don't want to," Spencer mumbled as he rolled in the bed to face Derek. "I shouldn't need to."

"Rossi's here," Derek abruptly announced.

"What?" Spencer asked, sitting up slightly.

"Threw me off too," Derek told him as he reached across to the end table to grab the thermometer.

"Did he say why?" Spencer asked, taking the thermometer from Derek and slipping it under his tongue.

Derek gave a single shrug. "He said he needed to tell you something, but didn't really specify what it was."

As Spencer waited for the thermometer to beep, his mind quickly sorted through everything in his memory warehouse (it was a little harder when he was sick) until he came to realization. The thermometer beeped a moment later and he pulled it out, handing it to Derek.

"99.8, definitely gone down. Probably just one of those 24 hours things. Do you want to see Rossi?"

Spencer immediately nodded. "Probably best to send him back here since I'm pretty sure I don't want to move from this bed."

"Be right back then," he said, laughing as he stepped out of the room. Spencer sat up a little more in bed and put on his glasses, trying to avoid looking like a total bum in front of Rossi.

A minute later, there was a knock on the door and Spencer saw Rossi standing in the doorway.

"Come on in, sit wherever you like," Spencer greeted, giving him a small smile.

"How're you feeling?" Rossi asked as he sat down on the end of the bed closest to Spencer.

"Better," Spencer replied honestly. "Hoping this is just a one day thing."

Rossi nodded. Spencer watched his face and automatically knew.

"It happened last night, didn't t?" Spencer asked, figuring it might be better to be straightforward.

Rossi turned his head towards Reid, his eyes slightly red, and nodded. "After we landed, I drove straight there," he began to explain, having difficulty to put this into words. "I was going to tell her that I couldn't do it. We had a small argument and then she said 'it won't be long now'."

There was a silence as Rossi tried to keep himself in a well enough position to continue the story. Spencer remained quiet until he knew it was the right time to say something.

"She had taken a lethal dose of sleeping pills, I think. I called 911, but she kept telling me it will be too late. All I could do was hold her. She kept asking me if 'he' would be there, and I just didn't know what to tell her."

Even without his memory, Spencer would never forget the day he saw David Rossi cry. Without even thinking, he reached over and hugged the man, hoping that he could provide some sort of comfort.

"We had a son named James, he was stillborn," Rossi explained, breaking the silence. He was dabbing away the stray tears as they fell.

"I'm sorry," Spencer mumbled, unsure of what to say, but he wanted to say something.

Rossi looked over at him with a teary smile. "Don't be. It's gonna take a while to heal, but I eventually will."

"You won't be alone," Spencer said, his voice quiet.

"And neither will you, kiddo," he said as he stood up from the bed. "Just make sure you keep your promise," he ordered.

Spencer gave him a small smile. "Wouldn't dream about breaking it."

Rossi nodded and gave him a slight wave as he made his way towards the door. "Get better, hopefully I'll be seeing you Thursday."

Spencer raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Tomorrow's Wednesday."

"You need more than one day off. Both of you. I'll let Hotch know."

"Thanks, Rossi."

"Thank you, Spencer," he gave the younger man one last appreciative smile, and after bidding Derek a good night, made his way home.

Derek walked into their bedroom 20 minutes after Rossi had left, carrying a tray of mugs. "Clooney, move," he mumbled as he set the tray on the endtable and forced the dog to move to the floor.

"What do we have here?" Spencer asked as he scooted closer to Derek.

Derek smiled. "I wasn't too sure what you would want, so I have chicken noodle soup, chicken broth, or tomato."

"Broth," Spencer said as Derek moved the other two mugs to the end table and brought the tray on the bed in between them.

"Is Rossi alright?"

"Why do you ask?"

Derek shrugged. "He just seemed a little different than he did when he walked in."

"Just some things going on with him. He'll be alright, not right away, but in time," Spencer explained as he took a sip of the chicken broth.

The two sat in a comfortable silence. After Spencer had finished the broth, Derek had quickly put it into the kitchen before coming back to the bed.

"Derek, could I ask you something?" Spencer asked, biting his lip and looked at Derek. "Well, more like promise me something?"

"Anything," Derek quickly said though still quite confused on what it could possibly be.

Spencer took a deep breath. "Don't let me give up on me. I can't give up on me."

"Spencer, what's this about?" Derek asked as he gently pulled Spencer into his lap and began rubbing a hand up and down his spine, trying to soothe him.

"Things," Spencer vaguely replied. "That's irrelevant. Just make sure I don't give in."

Derek pulled Spencer close to his chest, cradling his body against his and kissing the top of his head. "You've got nothing to worry about, baby boy. I would never let you get that far."

"Thank you," Spencer whispered as he kissed Derek's jaw. "I love you so much."

Derek lessened the grip he had on Spencer enough to grab Spencer by the chin gently so they were looking eye to eye.

"I love you too, and I always will," he whispered as he leaned forward and kissed Spencer, thriving in the sensation when Spencer instantly responded.

The kiss began long and slow; their lips hardly breaking contact, hands gripping hips and leaving bruises. As it crescendoed, the position they started in changed. Derek carefully rolled them to the side, Spencer laying on the bed underneath Derek. Random gasps for air were short as every sensation flared with every little touch. Spencer's hands were on Derek's shoulders, gripping them as Derek leaned down on him. The passion between the two was quickly warming both of them as Derek slowly removed Spencer's pajama shirt, throwing it aside.

Moans escaped from Spencer as Derek ran his fingers down the frail, pale skin and left kisses in the trail. It didn't matter where on Spencer's body Derek touched: he'd automatically get a reaction.

He made his way up the rest of Spencer's body. "My Pretty Boy," Derek growled into his temple as he began to leave love bites on the man's exposed skin.

When Spencer went to remove Derek's shirt, Derek quickly shrugged his hand up and shook his head.

"But," Spencer whimpered out, before Derek placed a finger against his lips. "This is for you, for your comfort. This is all about you." After removing his finger, Spencer quickly sat up enough to kiss Derek again, both putting everything they had into it until they finally broke for air a few moments later.

They both collapsed on their sides of the bed. Derek threw his arm out toward Spencer, signaling for him to move closer. Spencer quickly complied and moved as close as he could to Derek, wrapping an arm around his chest, entwining their legs together and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," Spencer said, as he turned and looked up at Derek through half lidded eyes. Derek gave him a grin in return and kissed him again.

"Anything for my baby boy," Derek whispered as he ran his fingers through his hair, lulling Spencer to sleep.

* * *

The David Rossi enforced day off turned out to be a necessity, as Spencer had not fully gotten rid of the bug. He and Derek had spent the day lounging in bed until later in the afternoon, when Garcia dropped off a gift basket full of candy and coffee and:

"What is this?" Spencer asked as flipped the stuffed animal in his hand over. "This doesn't look like the penguin."

Derek couldn't help but grin as he watch Spencer inspect the newest stuffed animal that Garcia had brought.

"It's a dalmatian!" She pointed out.

"I know _that_," Spencer grumbled as he flipped it on its back and inspected the Velcro on the toy's stomach. "Why it's designed like this is what I don't understand."

"It's a pillow pet!"

"A pillow pet?" Spencer asked, raising a questioning eyebrow as he looked over at Derek, who shrugged in response.

"Lemme show you," Garcia said as she took it from Spencer's hand. "It starts out like this," she gestured to the entire thing. Flipping it over, she pulled on the Velcro and after some more pulling, she displayed it to the Derek and Spencer. "It turns into a pillow!"

Derek couldn't fight the laugh that came out when he saw the completely shocked expression on Spencer's face.

Shooting a quick glare at Derek, Spencer smiled and reached forward to take the dalmatian pillow from her. "Thank you, Garcia. I love it."

Garcia reached over and kissed Spencer on the forehead, then ruffled his hair. "You're most certainly welcome. Between this and your penguin, you have fabulous things to cuddle with."

"What about me, baby girl?" Derek teased.

"These are for when you're on the couch," Spencer mumbled and bit his cheek to stop himself from smirking when he saw the incredulous look Derek shot him.

Garcia had stayed for a small dinner. After she left, Derek and Spencer crawled into bed. Spencer smiled as he placed the dalmatian pillow pet on his side of his bed, knowing he'd end up wrapped around Derek either way.

"You feeling good to go to work tomorrow?" Derek asked as they both settled in for sleep.

As Spencer wrapped himself around Derek's body, he nodded.

"And you'll tell me if you feel sick?"

Spencer nodded again. "It would be too dangerous to hide anything pertaining to my health," Spencer said to reassure him.

"Good night, pretty boy," Derek whispered as he leaned down to kiss Spencer and pulled the thin body closer to his own.

"Love you, Derek. Night," Spencer mumbled into Derek's chest and almost instantly fell asleep.

* * *

By the time Derek and Spencer got to work the next morning, JJ was sitting against Emily's desk, the two of them talking. Seeing the bullpen empty of everyone but their team, Derek pecked Spencer on the cheek before he made his way to his office. Spencer instantly blushed and he ignored the teasing glances from Emily and JJ as he sat down at his desk.

"Feeling better?" JJ asked.

Spencer nodded.

"Sucks that you're the one who got sick. We both jumped into the lake," Emily said as she turned in her chair to look at him over the divider.

He shrugged. "It would've been me considering my weakened immune system. Anything exciting happen here?"

Both of them shook their heads. "Just lots and lots of paperwork, it's like it's never ending," Emily groaned.

Spencer raised an amused eyebrow. "That's just because neither of you two had someone to pass them off to." Shaking his head, he stood and made his way towards the break area. "Feel free to do so as I get some coffee."

A few moments later he made his way back to his desk, stirring his coffee and smirking as he saw the slightly bigger stack of files in his inbox. Before he had the chance to sit down, Hotch stepped out from his office.

"Prentiss, Reid. Could I see you both in my office?" Hotch stepped back into his office without waiting for a response.

Emily and Spencer shared a confused glance with one another as they climbed the stairs and stepped into Hotch's office.

"Close the door please," he said without looking up.

Spencer quickly closed it before sitting down in the chair next to Emily in front of Hotch's desk.

"Did we do something wrong?" Emily asked.

Hotch shook his head as he moved to lean against the front of his desk. "No, nothing like that. There's a Violent Crimes Seminar in Chicago tomorrow that Strauss has requested you two to attend."

"As speakers?" Spencer asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Yes. Both of you will be speaking along with Patricia Cornwell."

"The crime writer?" Spencer asked, suddenly sort of excited. He had read quite of few of her books and would love the chance to speak with her.

Hotch nodded. "You'll both have to prepare a short speech, obviously. The jet will be taking you tonight, so be at the airstrip before 10. You're free to leave for the day."

Both of them nodded and thanked Hotch as they made their way out.

"And Reid?" Hotch called as Spencer was about to step out the door. "Try to keep the speech short," Hotch teased.

"That's only if I manage to not skip over every other word. You know I'm not the best at public speaking."

"It was Strauss' choice, and unfortunately, she wouldn't budge on it."

Spencer gave him a small understanding smile before waving and stepped out of Hotch's office, making his way to Derek's.

Derek had finished a few consults when their was a knock on the door. "Come in!" he called out. As he looked up, he was surprised to see Spencer entering the room.

"Hey, what's up?" Derek asked as he stood up and moved to Spencer, closing the door to his office.

"Emily and I are leaving tonight for a seminar," Spencer told him, biting his lip slightly.

"For how long?" Derek asked.

"I'm just guessing the day. It's in Chicago."

Derek smiled. "You should stop by mama's place and grab some cookies before you come back."

Spencer smiled in return. "I'm gonna head home now and pack. Any chance you can bow out early?"

Derek instantly recognized the look on Spencer's face and knew that the younger man didn't want to be alone until he was forced to. All the time they've spent together since Spencer's diagnosis, the two had been almost inseparable, something they both needed.

Derek nodded. "Take a seat, let me go talk to Hotch." He waited for Spencer to sit down before making his way to the unit chief's office. He knocked on the open door and waited for Hotch to look up before he said something.

"Something you need, Morgan?"

Derek walked into the room and nodded. "I was wondering if I could go home early with Spencer. Ever since his surgery, he really doesn't like being alone."

"Of course," Hotch instantly replied, surprising Derek. "We're already down 3 agents, there's no way we'd be able to leave on a case today.

"Three?" Derek asked, confused.

"Rossi's out for today for some personal issues. A death in the family," Hotch explained. "He was out yesterday too."

Derek nodded in understanding. "So, I'm good?"

"Yes. See you tomorrow."

"Thanks Hotch," Derek called out and left the office. He made his way over to Spencer's desk, grabbing his bag and travel mug before going back towards his office.

"We're good to go," Derek announced as he walked in. Spencer stood up and took his stuff from Derek, shooting him a questioning glance as Derek gathered his things.

"What?" Derek asked when he noticed the look on Spencer's face.

"He let you go that easily?" Spencer questioned as Derek came to stand beside him and they made their way towards the elevators.

"Well, no one can resist the Derek Morgan charm," he teased as he hit the button.

Spencer turned his face towards Derek, eyes set and face calm. Derek had seen that particular face many times, particularly when Derek questioned something, but he knew it worked now too.

He let out a defeated sigh as the two of them stepped into the opening elevator. "With both you and Prentiss leaving, and the fact that Rossi's had the last two days off, there was no way we could take a case."

"You already knew about Rossi, didn't you?" Derek asked a few moments later.

Spencer nodded. "That's why he came over the other night. I knew before that though," he explained.

Knowing that Spencer wasn't going to break Rossi's trust, he asked a simple question. "Who and how?" He hoped that he could get some kind of idea.

"First wife and ALS," Spencer whispered as the elevator came to a stop. Before the doors opened, Derek quickly took one of Spencer's hands in his own and squeezed. Spencer gave him an appreciative smile. They let their arms fall to their side as the elevator doors opened and they made their way to the parking garage.

After arriving home, it hadn't taken long for Spencer to pack: it was basically just replacing everything in his go bag with clean clothes.

"Do you need that much?" Derek had asked.

"What if we get called out on the case?"

"What are the-" Derek cut himself off and shook his head. "Not even going to finish that question."

Spencer smirked and zipped up his go bag. "Smart move."

They were now sitting on the couch together, Spencer curled into Derek's side with Derek's arm wrapped around him. Neither of them were paying attention to the TV.

"So, what do you wanna do for your birthday?" Derek asked, running a hand through Spencer's hair.

"Do we have to do something?" Spencer asked.

"It's your thirtieth, it's kind of hard to tell Garcia no," Derek teased. "It's also in two days, so, you should think of something."

"You think of something, I don't think I can even focus on anything else but this seminar tomorrow."

Derek sighed and kissed Spencer's temple, pulling him a little closer. "You're going to do fine. Then you'll come home and enjoy some of Garcia's chocolate cake."

"She does make good cake," Spencer commented, causing Derek to laugh.

They stayed there for a few more hours. As it grew closer to Spencer's take off, the two ate dinner before going to the aistrip. Besides the pilots, they were the first ones there. Both of them climbed out of the car and leaned against the side, shoulder to shoulder as they waited for Emily.

Spencer smiled as Derek took his hand and squeezed. "I'm going to miss you," Spencer whispered.

Derek looked over at him and returned the smile, squeezing his hand again. "It's only for a day, baby boy."

"Still," Spencer mumbled as he leaned into Derek a little more. In his peripheral he could see Emily driving up. He wrapped his arms around Spencer's waist and pulled him close.

"It's only for one day, probably not even 24 hours. You'll go give your speech, see Mama if you have the time, and come home. Then we'll celebrate your birthday," Derek whispered in his temple as Spencer had moved to bury his face in Derek's neck.

"Still too long," Spencer whined slightly.

Derek rubbed a hand up and down his back. "It's gonna be okay, Pretty Boy."

Spencer leaned up and captured Derek in a kiss, savoring the feel and the taste as he slowly pulled away.

Opening the back door of the car, Derek pulled out Spencer's go bag and handed it to him. "Call me when you land," Derek told him, capturing a kiss on his own.

"I promise," Spencer whispered. He hugged Derek quickly and made his way to the jet where he could see Emily waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"Take care of him please," Derek called out.

"Don't worry, I will," Emily called back grinning.

Derek watched as the two climbed into the jet and watched the hatch close, before climbing into the car and driving off.


	17. Chapter 17

Spencer awkwardly stood there watching the kid walk away, lost in his own thoughts.

"Hey, who was that?" Emily's voice came out of nowhere, causing him to jump slightly.

He cleared his throat before answering. "That was the founder of NanoVex."

"I've never heard of it."

"They make magnetically responsive nanoparticles for targeted drug delivery to tumor cells," Spencer explained.

"...I've still haven't heard of it."

"You will; it's gonna change the world."

Emily looked at him, slightly confused with his behavior. "Hey, are you okay?"

'I hate working with profilers,' Spencer thought to himself before nodding. "Fine, why?"

Emily shrugged. "You just seem to be in a weird mood for someone who's going to be celebrating their thirtieth birthday tomorrow."

"It's not that big of a deal," Spencer mumbled, eyes moving to his hands. "What time do we leave?" Spencer asked before Emily had the chance to say something.

Emily glanced at her watch. "I'm pretty sure Garcia said we need to be at O'Hare by 4, so not for a few hours, why?"

"I just want to go visit Mrs. Morgan," Spencer told her, giving her a small smile. "It's been a while since I've seen her: I wasn't able to come with Derek on her birthday last year."

Emily smiled. "Want me to give you a lift?"

Spencer shook his head. "No need. There's a train stop a block or two down. I know the schedule, I should be there within the hour. Could you pick me up on your way to airport?"

Emily nodded. "Just send me the address and I'll see you later."

"Thanks Emily," Spencer said as he waved and left the room, quickly making his way to the train stop.

"Right on time," he mumbled to himself as he grasped his ticket in his hand and got on, luckily able to get a seat. It was a 25 minutes ride, giving him time to think everything over.

It wasn't that he was nervous about seeing Mrs. Morgan. He'd met her many times on the number of trips that both Derek and he have made to Chicago. This visit is just a bit different since it's the first time he'd be seeing the woman after his diagnosis. Spencer's mind quickly caught the memory as his brain began to recall it: everything becoming vivid and clear, like a movie playing through his mind.

It had been a day or two after Spencer had told his diagnosis to Derek and the two of them were discussing the generals of it, planning for the future and everything related.

"Did you tell your mom yet?" Derek had asked over dinner that night.

Spencer nodded. "Well, it's in the next letter I'm sending her."

"You wouldn't think it would be better to do in person?"

Spencer shook his head. "I personally don't know how I would react to any reaction I would receive from her. After I send the letter, I'll be contacting Bennington to give them notice."

Derek nodded and was silent for another few minutes. "Would you mind me telling my mom?" he asked, sounding a little unsure.

"Not at all," Spencer instantly replied.

Derek gave him a small smile. "I'll call her after dinner. You know how she is about secrets."

Spencer returned the smile. "A mother always knows."

Spencer had cleaned up while Derek went to tell his mom, knowing it might be a little easier for Derek to explain. Spencer wasn't exactly sure why, but he needed some sort of distraction.

Derek had come out of the bedroom a half an hour later, eyes slightly red, but he had given Spencer a smile. He instantly walked over to him and hugged him.

"How'd it go?" Spencer asked as the two of them sat down at the dining room table, sipping the coffee Spencer had prepared.

"Prepare for the mama bear of all mama bears," Derek said, laughing lightly. "She told me to tell you she loves you and you'll be in her prayers. Wants you to make sure you come with me next time, and you're always welcome to call if you need it."

Spencer blushed. Ever since Spencer had met the rest of the Morgan clan on that case in Chicago 6 years ago, Spencer felt already part of the family, and that was before he and Derek were dating.

Spencer smiled at the memory and started to feel a little less nervous as the train came up on his stop. Quickly making his way off the train, he immediately began the short walk to the Morgan residence.

As he rounded the corner, he slowed down a little to make sure he had all of his thoughts and emotions in check as he walked up to the door. Taking a deep breath, he knocked.

* * *

Spencer had a smile on his face as the door opened and revealed Fran Morgan. It changed into a grin as she quickly enveloped him in a hug.

"Spencer, this is certainly a surprise," she said as she pulled back, kissing his cheek.

"I happened to be in the neighborhood," Spencer joked.

Fran grinned and stood aside, making space for Spencer to enter. "An awfully long way from Quantico," she said as she took his bag and coat, hanging them up.

"Here on a day trip with Agent Prentiss for a seminar. I haven't seen you in a while and still have time until I need to be at the airport, so I thought I'd drop by," Spencer explained as he followed her into the kitchen. "I'm sorry I didn't call beforehand," he said as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"No reason to apologize. These are the surprises I enjoy," she told him. "Coffee?"

"Please," Spencer replied, still smiling.

They were both silent as Fran busied herself with the coffee maker. Pouring a mug for both herself and Spencer, she placed one in front of him, along with the sugar.

"I remember Derek mentioning something about sugar," she said as she sat down. "Now, Spencer I want you to be honest with me," she said as she reached forward and grabbed one of his hands. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? Right now I feel perfectly fine," Spencer told her, squeezing her hand slightly. He was always able to relax around Fran, one of the few people he felt comfortable making physical contact with.

"Derek has been keeping me up to date on everything," she explained, taking a sip from her mug.

"Derek-, Derek has truly been amazing," Spencer said, feeling himself tear up a little. "I know I sometimes make a joke that he's always just a tad overprotective of me, but I don't think I'll ever be able to thank him for everything he's done over the past 8 months."

"He gets his protector trait from his father, and the extra nudge is from me. He always goes for the extra and longest mile when it's someone he loves."

Spencer gave her a teary smile and nodded. "I learned that quick. I love him so much and, I can't even think of him not being in my life."

Fran stood up and walked over to Spencer's side of the table and knelt down in front of him, taking his hands in her own. "He loves you so much Spencer. When he called me during your surgery, I'd never heard him so scared."

Spencer bit his lip and ducked his head, letting the tears fall.

"When he called and told me you were awake, that everything was going how the doctors planned? You two were meant to be together." She pulled him into another hug and rubbed his shoulder as he cried silently. She remained that way, holding him tight until he was ready.

A few minutes later, he pulled away gently and wiped his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he mumbled.

"Showing emotion in times of fear isn't a weakness," she grinned as Spencer looked up at her with an appreciative smile. "And as I told Derek when he first told me, you are part of this family. If you need anything, and I mean anything, we're here."

"Thank you, Fran," Spencer said, his voice soft.

"Finally broke you of that habit of calling me Mrs. Morgan," she teased as she stood. "Now, are you hungry? Seems like my son hasn't been feeding you enough."

Spencer laughed. "Anything is fine."

"Just let me whip something up then."

* * *

Spencer was enjoying the distraction as he and Fran continued to talk over the small lunch she had prepared for them.

They were discussing his birthday when his phone rang. Sending an apologetic look towards Fran, he stood and answered. "Reid."

"Hey, it's Emily. I'm about 10 minutes away."

Spencer glanced at his watch. "Do we a have a case?"

"Yep, and it's definitely not one you want to miss, Doctor Reid."

"See you soon, then." he told her and hung up. He turned back towards Fran. "Unfortunately, work calls."

She stood up and gave him an understanding look. "I know how it is, Spencer. Is someone coming to get you?"

Spencer nodded. "Agent Prentiss should be here any minute."

"Let me walk you to the door," she said, making her way out the room, Spencer following after her. He handed her his bag and coat. As he finished putting them on, the notification sound from his phone went off.

"She's outside."

Fran opened the door for him, before pulling him to another hug and kissing him on the cheek. "It was wonderful seeing you, Spencer."

He grinned in response. "You too, Fran." He made his way out to Emily in the car, waving as he climbed in and they drove away.

"You certainly look happier," Emily commented as she navigated the streets of Chicago.

"It's the first time I've had the chance to see her since, well, everything started," Spencer explained as he looked out the window. "So, do you know anything about the case?"

"Not yet," Emily replied. "Garcia told me that the team was flying out to San Francisco and the jet was coming back for us here. Said she'd explain more on the jet. Apparently, it's one that Derek said would attract your interest."

As Spencer added that thought to the collection of thoughts that were currently bouncing around inside his head, the two fell in a comfortable silence.

45 minutes later they were on the jet, Emily and Spencer sharing a tablet as Garcia briefed them on the case.

"This has got to be nothing more than a talented copy-cat," Spencer mumbled as Emily flipped through the crime scene photos.

"What makes you say that?" Emily asked.

"It just doesn't seem possible for this to be the original Zodiac. Taking in the timeline of his murders, there's a very low possibility that this is him. Wouldn't make any sense," Spencer stated. He sat back in the chair and let his mind roll over the information of the case, trying to find holes and leads between the reports and photos.

"When you land, there will be an SUV to pick you up from the airstrip. You'll most likely be meeting them at the first crime scene. Hotch and JJ are with the local FBI, while Derek and Rossi went to visit one of the detectives who worked on the Zodiac back in the 60's."

"Thanks PG! We'll be in touch," Emily said as she turned off the tablet and placed it on the table in front of her.

"Later for now, my super friends!" she said before the webcam image popped away.

Spencer slowly slid out to the end of the double seats and turned towards Emily. "You don't mind if I take a quick nap on the couch, do you?"

Emily shook her head. "It's all yours," she said as she opened the book she had taken out of her go bag.

"Thanks," Spencer mumbled as he moved to the couch and instantly turned on his side, facing away from Emily.

"Are you feeling okay?" Emily asked as she watched him.

"Yeah, fine. Don't worry. I already promised Derek that I wouldn't hide anything health related from him," Spencer mumbled as he felt himself falling asleep.

Emily watched him for a few more minutes and shook her head, hoping that Spencer was only missing Derek and that it wasn't something else.

* * *

Spencer was thankful for the physical copy of the file that was handed to him as he and Emily climbed into the borrowed SUV at the airstrip. The local agent was discussing the case so far with Emily as Spencer refreshed the information from the back. Derek was right in telling Emily that this case was one that would peak his interest. For a criminal psychology class he had taken at Georgetown, his final paper had been on the original Zodiac, Spencer's first real dive into profiling a criminal. From the first crime scene, two souvenirs had been found. A photo of Marcia Miller, a suspected victim of the Zodiac whose body had been found in Napa in 1971, though nothing had been confirmed. Also found was a piece of fabric covered in blood, confirmed to be O-negative which matched that of the Zodiac's last confirmed victim, a cab driver who had been shot in 1969. There were also numerous things found at the actual scene that Spencer had yet to investigate himself, but he already knew they weren't dealing with the real Zodiac. This was just a rather talented copycat. While it might be somewhat exciting to imagine that this is the notorious anonymous serial killer, it logically wouldn't fit. A man in his late 60's or early 70's wouldn't be able to pull these murderers as secretly and fluidly as the original Zodiac had in the late 1960's.

Spencer had been so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't realized the car had stopped until he felt Emily's hand on his knee. Jumping slightly, he looked up at her as she gave an apologetic smile.

"Sorry. You had your thinking face on and Morgan's not here to get your attention. JJ and Hotch are waiting for us," she explained.

Spencer nodded and climbed out of the car. Spotting JJ and Hotch, he quickly made his way over to them.

"Have any letters or ciphers been received?" Spencer asked as he got closer, Emily stepping up behind him.

"Agent Lin, this is uh, Doctor Reid and Agent Prentiss," Hotch introduced, Spencer giving a slight wave in greeting while Emily shook her hand..

"Oh, how was the conference?" JJ asked.

Spencer made a slight face. "Uh, enlightening."

JJ shot him a concern look and then looked over at Emily who shrugged in response. Deciding to question it later, she turned back to the task at hand.

"Has there been any contact?" Emily asked.

"The Chronicle's Web site manager received two phone calls this morning. There was just heavy breathing on the other end, like the phone calls Zodiac used to make," Agent Lin responded.

"Uh, can I get a physical copy of the online version of today's paper?" Spencer asked

"You want a printout of the online version?"

Spencer nodded. "Yeah, with all the comments printed out as well, if possible, thanks."

He ignored the confused look that Agent Lin gave JJ and JJ's "don't ask" reply as he looked at the footprints and stepped up closer to the car. "It's not the real Zodiac," he announced.

"How can you be so sure?" Emily asked, sounding skeptical.

"I just know it. Sometimes I can't really explain it."

* * *

After visiting Detective Zeblonsky, Morgan and Rossi were heading back to the precinct to round up all the new information they had found when Derek's phone rang. Pulling it out, he immediately answered and switched to speaker.

"Morgan," he stated. "You've got me and Rossi on speaker."

"Hey," JJ's voice came through the speaker. "You guys find anything?"

"Zeblonsky was incredibly devoted to the Zodiac case, has a room filled with file boxes," Derek explained. "One of them had a collection of crime scene photos he had taken himself. From both he and his wife, most visitors are there to see him about the case and it's likely the one found at the first scene was stolen."

"You guys got anything?" Rossi asked.

"Not much yet. Results from the lab on the fabric came back and it was a piece of fabric distressed to look older, meaning this is most likely a copycat," JJ explained. "Spence's in the back going through the comments on today's issue of The Chronicle in hopes of finding something."

"So he and Prentiss are already there?" Derek asked.

"Arrived at the scene not too long after we did. Spence seems a little off today though," JJ explained, sounding slightly worried.

"What do you mean?" Rossi asked.

"I'm pretty sure he's either pissed off or annoyed, maybe a little of both. He was rather defensive when he was questioned about this being a the real Zodiac or not," Emily's voice this time came through. "Then we arrived at the field office, there was a man obviously trying to get his 5 minutes, claiming that the Zodiac was his cousin. Reid threw something out about a tape being sent to the police and something about a composer. The man agreed with him and Spence completely knocked him down when he spit out the true facts. I've never seen him so composed in front of a camera."

"Did something happen at the conference?" Derek asked, confused.

"Not that I know of. Besides his speech not being what people expected, he was only there a few minutes after before going to visit your mom," Emily explained.

Derek sighed and ran a hand over his head. "I'll talk to him tonight. We're almost there, see you in soon," and Derek hung up.

Rossi looked over at him briefly from the driver's seat. "Think everything's alright?"

Derek shrugged. "I'm honestly not sure. He has been acting slightly weird the past few days, but I just figured that was due to his birthday. Now? Man, I don't even know."

"Let's get back to the field office and meet up with the rest of the team, like you told Emily and JJ, you can talk to him tonight."

* * *

After they had arrived, everyone was waiting in the conference room. When Morgan and Rossi entered, Reid went over the message he that he found in the comments of The Chronicle that used symbols that matched those the Zodiac had used in his original letters.

"Killing is most fun you can have 98 minutes below the horizon in Magic City with President Garfield. Happy Hunting," the message read. After talking to Garcia, they were able to reveal that the next murder would be near the statue of President Garfield in Golden Gate Park around 8:00 p.m.

Between the planning and the orders, Derek didn't get the chance to talk to Spencer knowing it definitely would have to wait until later.

Later in the evening, the BAU team and the LEO's were stationed in multiple parts of surveillance around the statue and the park. There were two agents working undercover as a couple sitting on a bench near the statue, but other than that there hadn't been any sign of their potential unsub. At 10 after 8, a truck had pulled up behind the couple. When a man dressed in full black stepped over, Hotch gave the order to move in.

JJ, Hotch, Spencer  
and the other field agents calmly moved closer as the unknown man moved towards the undercover agents. Once he was close enough, the agents stood, aiming their guns, while the others moved in around the man.

Pulling out his own gun, Hotch quickly aimed it towards the man. "FBI, show me your hands!" He called out.

The man instantly froze in his spot, throwing both of his arms straight up in the air. There was an envelope in his right hand.

"Drop it," Hotch ordered, the man instantly complied as everyone else moved in closer.

"I'm just the messenger," the man announced. "I'm supposed to deliver a letter," he explained as he was being cuffed.

JJ picked the letter up and quickly read the envelope. "It's for Reid," she stated.

Spencer's head snapped towards her in confusion as she reached forward, handing him the letter. Placing his gun in its holster, he quickly opened the envelope and pulled the letter out.

"You're not as smart as you think you are," Spencer read aloud.

"Who sent it?" Hotch asked, glaring at the messenger.

"I don't know. I just deliver to the address when I'm supposed to," he replied.

Spencer handed the letter over to the CSI team and allowed JJ to pull him to the SUV. He climbed into the back with her as they waited for one of the locals and Hotch.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked as she looked over at him. Spencer had his eyes clenched shut and was rubbing his head.

"Hmm?" Spencer replied, opening his eyes and turning towards her.

"I asked you if you were okay. Is it your head?" She asked quickly, not even trying to hide the concern laced in her voice.

"No, no, nothing like that," Spencer shook his head, trying to assure her. "It's just been a long day. I didn't sleep much last night when we landed in Chicago and it's basically been non-stop since early this morning."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Nothing else was said on the topic as Hotch climbed into the passenger seat while one of the local agents drove them to their hotel.

* * *

As he allowed his mind to roam over the information and everything pertaining to this case, Spencer felt himself giving in to the exhaustion that the day had caused. He was more than grateful when Derek opened his door and helped him climb out, grabbing his go bag as well.

"Someone's tired," Derek teased lightly as he waited for Spencer to balance himself out.

"You could say that," Spencer muttered before letting out a yawn that he tried to hide behind his hand. "Long day."

"I bet," Derek grabbed Spencer by the elbow to guide him to the elevators, silently thanking anyone out there for needing to double up on rooms. Now that the team knew about them, it made things a lot easier.

They were both quiet as they rode the elevator and made their way to their room. After unlocking the door, Derek pulled Spencer in and placed him on the bed as he dropped their go-bags near the closet, then finally shut the door.

"Do you want to shower now or in the morning?" Derek asked as he sat down next to him, smiling as Spencer sagged into him, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Morning, definitely morning. Knowing my luck lately, the shower would just wake me," Spencer groaned into Derek's shoulder.

"Morning it is. Now, you can't fall asleep in that, no way that's comfortable," Derek teased as Spencer sat up more to allow Derek to stand from the bed.

"You'd be surprised," Spencer mumbled as he kicked off his shoes and pulled off his vest. Derek threw him his pajama pants as Spencer undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, dropping them in a pile next to the bed. He groaned when he realized he still had his slacks on. "Since you're a pro at it, you should take my pants off," Spencer announced, shocking Derek slightly.

Derek grinned slightly as he walked over to the bed, having already stripped down to his boxers. "Is that an invitation?"

Spencer blinked and looked up at him. "Any other day, most likely, but now, unfortunately for you, no."

Shaking his head, Derek quickly pulled Spencer's pants off. "Boxers or pants tonight?"

"I don't want to move anymore," Spencer mumbled as he moved himself towards the head of the bed. "Just want you."

Derek pulled off the duvet, folding it slightly before placing it on the top of the closet and pulled back the comforter, easily slipping in besides Spencer.

Immediately Spencer moved so that he was using Derek's chest as a pillow and wrapped his arms around the other man, snuggling into his side.

"You get really cuddle-hungry when you're exhausted," Derek pointed out as he ran a hand rhythmically through Spencer's hair, knowing it was a soothing off-button type motion that never failed to put Spencer to sleep. "Prentiss said you stopped by Mama's house today."

Spencer nodded. "After the seminar, didn't really wanna stick around, thought I'd say hi," he explained, his voice soft.

"Bet she was happy to see you," Derek said as he watched Spencer's eyes begin to close and felt the nod against his chest once more.

"Also said you're not feeding me enough," Spencer said, chuckling slightly. "She makes a great peach cobbler."

"I'm guessing you didn't bring any with you."

"Nope, sorry, all gone," Spencer whispered. Derek was almost certain he was asleep until Spencer suddenly raised his head and kissed Derek. "Now I can sleep. Love you," Spencer mumbled. Derek felt Spencer's breathing even out and smiled.

"Night, baby boy," and he soon followed Spencer to sleep.

* * *

Derek was surprised to see he wasn't the first one awake the next morning. He had woken up before the the alarm, but so had Spencer, who was now sitting at the desk in this hotel room going over the files.

"Morning," he mumbled without looking over at Derek.

"How long have you been up?" Derek asked as he sat up.

"About an hour," Spencer said, shrugging as he closed the case file and turned towards Derek. "I'm going to head across the street and get something from Starbucks. Want anything?" he asked as he stood and grabbed his bag and coat.

"My usual would be good," Derek replied.

"Be right back then," Spencer said giving him a small smile as he left the room.

Derek sighed and reached over, grabbing his phone, quickly dialing the number he needed.

"Office of Queen Penelope, goddess of all things technology. How may I help you, my loyal servant?"

"Morning to you too, baby girl," Derek replied, chuckling slightly.

"Good morning, sugar. And dare I ask what has earned me your attention today?"

"Why would today be any different?"

"Derek Morgan!" Garcia exclaimed, Derek wincing slightly. "It's October 9th, a.k.a. my sweet little genius' birthday. Do not tell me you-"

"Calm down, mama!" Derek said, cutting her off. "That's actually why I'm calling you."

"What's up? Is everything okay?"

"I'm not the one who forgot his birthday," Derek started off.

"Then who?"

"Spencer himself. Even with his memory, this case is already stealing his focus but after that note last night? I don't want to deal with the repercussions of distracting him on this case," he explained.

"But it's his 30th! We can't just ignore his 30th!"

"And we're not. Now this is where I need your help."

"Anything for my boys," Garcia said, causing Derek to smile.

"I knew I could count on you. Now first, he's at Starbucks right now, but I don't want to risk him running into another member of the team. Could you quickly send everyone a message explaining what I've told you?"

Derek's response was echoed typing in the background. "Done. Been sent to everyone but 187. What else?"

"Chances you can have a chocolate cake for a mini-party when we get back?"

"Done," Garcia immediately responded. "Now, go get the copycat unsub and get back to Quantico!"

"You got it, beautiful. Talk to you later."

* * *

After Spencer had returned from his coffee run, Hotch had gotten a call about another murder. The team headed to the crime scene to meet Agent Lin. On the drive over, Derek was relieved to see that everyone had gotten the message from Garcia and understood. They arrived at the crime to scene to find that that a teacher and lawyer had been murdered in Albany Park. Upon inspecting the bodies, it was found that the woman, Tara Hanson, much like Nicole Puli, had more wounds than the male, an obvious sign of overkill. Both women were also brunette, indicating that they could be surrogates for the unsub.

Unfortunately, after having talked to the courier service, they found that the envelope delivered to Spencer the night before had been dropped in their letterbox with cash. And after a background check on the messenger, they found him to be clean of any record and a star employee.

Emily and Spencer were walking around the scene, making up as much as a geographical profile as they could with the information that had been given. Garcia had called to inform them that the comment that had the message that was left on The Chronicle, while being able to track the IP address, it unfortunately led her to an internet cafe that was paid for by using prepaid card. Basically, they weren't able to get any sort of ID.

While Spencer was taking the letter he received as a taunt directly at him, the others were finding ways to take his focus off of that thought, explaining that it was towards them. That there was no way that the unsub was challenging him specifically, just rather giving him a were able to profile that the copycat had an obsession towards a single woman and was killing woman with common traits, acting as surrogates. They also concluded that the unsub's actions were either a way to prove his love or impress her. The unsub had chosen to copy the Zodiac as a way to feel the same power and attention that the original Zodiac had.

Letting the others present the profile, Spencer had decided to head to the closest cafe to examine the spam comments a little more, hoping to find something else from within.

He had been there for a little over an hour when Emily had entered and took the seat across from him. "Hey,  
are you gonna tell me what's up?" No answer. "Reid, it's me."

Spencer sighed and clicked his pen before placing it down on the table and finally looked up at Emily. "Do you ever wonder if you lived up to expectations?"

"I-, I beat them," Emily responded, thrown off slightly by the question. "I figured I'd be a bored socialite by the time I was 25."

"I thought I'd cure schizophrenia by the time I was 25," Spencer admitted quietly. "You know, when I was a kid, people told me I could do anything."

Emily frowned. "You're afraid that you've let people down?"

"No, I'm afraid I let myself down."

"By not curing schizophrenia?"

"No, just because-" He cleared his throat. "I don't know what I'm doing in  
the FBI."

"I see. You're a genius, but you have the same job as me, Derek, JJ..."

"Yeah, exactly.." Spencer began but shook his head and let out a nervous laugh, causing Emily to smirk. "That's not what I'm saying. It's just sometimes-sometimes I get this feeling like I should've done something more with my life," he explained. "Now because of this damn diagnosis hanging over my head, I don't even know what I else I can do."

Emily was sure her heart skipped a beat as Spencer finished that sentence. This is the first time since she had learned of his condition that she could see how much it was taking a toll on him. "Reid, this diagnosis isn't ruling your life-"

"You don't know that," Spencer snapped.

She leveled him a small, daring glare before continuing. "I do because I know you. I've seen you overcome so many things, and it's not fair because the fact of the matter is, you're young, there's still time-"

"You can't promise that."

Emily continued on as if he hadn't said anything. "You're a fighter and one of the strongest people I know. Just look at all the things you've accomplished and have gone through in such a short time. You're a survivor."

Spencer looked down at his hands, his face turning slightly red. He wasn't used to anyone but Derek praising him on his accomplishments and the like.

Knowing she needed to direct the conversation in a different direction, Emily reached forward and pulled both the paper and pen from Reid.

"What are you doing?" he asked, looking up at her.

Emily gave him a small shrug. "Well, I think you hinted towards feeling like you're washed up. I should take a look at his."

"That's not what I'm saying," Spencer said quickly, stumbling over his words. "Seriously, what are you doing?" he asked again as he watched her click the pen open and began making circles around the page at random.

"I'm just looking at what you missed," she replied, smirking slightly.

"Don't do- You're gonna- You're going to mess it up actually. Emily. Give it back to me," he pleaded as he reached forward and finally pulled the paper back. As he looked over what she had done, things began to fall into place. "Wait a minute, that's it. The real code is in the words. China Weekly Post, page F-4."

Emily kept the smile on her face as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, quickly dialing Hotch. After explaining what Reid had found, Hotch told them to meet him at the main office for the China Weekly Post.

Placing the phone back in her pocket and looked at Spencer. "Reid, can I ask you something?"

Confused slightly, Spencer nodded.

"With your memory, this is something you shouldn't ever forget. Cancer is a word, not a sentence."

Spencer gave her a small smile and stood up, Emily following. As they climbed into the SUV, Spencer looked over at her as she started the car.

"Thank you," he said.

Emily grinned in response. "Anything for you, handsome."


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note: Just wanted to throw this in real quick that the rating has been upped for content in this chapter. It's of sexual variety but nothing too explicit, just wanted to be safe.

* * *

They had met Hotch, and Spencer explained how the unsub had converted the spam from matrix code to binary code, then a few more things before translating back into letters. They added to the profile that in order to know that, the unsub would have to have an IQ higher than 160. It didn't change their profile much, as Reid had pointed out despite high IQ's, success is determined by other factors, meaning the unsub could possibly have a low-level job.

There had been another message in the newspaper: the classified on page F-4 that read 'You could do so much better.' Spencer explained that the recipient of the letter would have to be a genius too in order to decode it. They had then received a call from Rossi, alerting them that another victim had been found: a cab driver whose cab had been abandoned and a blowback shadow proved that there had been a passenger. Left behind was a photo of a young boy. The team returned to the precinct as they waited for Garcia to call back with what they hoped would be the ID of the boy in the photo. Hotch began giving the team small jobs when Garcia had called, IDing the boy: Robbie Shaw, a boy who had been missing from Mill Valley in 2000.

As Derek worked on collecting the information he needed, he kept taking quick, worried glances to Spencer, who was re-organizing their evidence board. "What's he doing?" he asked Rossi.

"We've been thinking about this case too linear," Spencer explained as he kept his focus on the board. Based on the complexity of the code, it's obvious this unsub is operating on several different levels. So, we need to start thinking in multiple dimensions."

As he continued to watch, Derek knew he did the right thing, letting Spencer focus on the case.

Emily and JJ walked into the room a few minutes later, their gaze instantly jumping to Spencer.

"Spence, you okay?" JJ called out.

"Nothing is accidental. Nothing this unsub does is accidental," Spencer said as he kept looking at the crime scene photos, moving them around the board until they fit in the right spot. "The message in the China Weekly Post was on page F-4. Why F-4?"

"Well, that's where the classified were," Derek pointed out.

"It's more than that," Spencer mumbled more to himself. As things began to click, he walked over to one of the agents who was sitting at a computer, quickly asking him to bring up a map of all the crime scenes, followed by a transparent chess board.

"Can you rotate that? Spencer asked. "See? F-4 is a chess square." Spencer announced as he the rest of the team crowded around the computer.

"He murdered people according to a chess game?" JJ asked.

"Specifically, game six of Fischer versus Spassky in 1972, one of the greatest chess matches ever played. The murder locations correspond with the final three moves of the game," Spencer explained as he sat down on the desk.

Hotch then pulled out his phone, dialing Garcia and putting her on speaker.

"Garcia's lair of knowledge and wisdom."

"Garcia, you have the list of Zodiac case experts?" Hotch asked.

"Yep. Standing by for you. I have anyone who has ever written or blogged about it. FYI, there are way too many people obsessed with this sicko."

"Okay, cross reference that with professional chess players?"

"Okay, yeah that totally works. List is getting smaller, and smaller and down to nothing."

"Open that to high level amateurs as well," Hotch added.

"Get ready to love me more. I did a search of chess players rated 2200 or higher, which would make them masters, but not necessarily professionals. I cross-referenced that search with Zodiac experts and came up with two former chess prodigies and best friends who used to write about the Zodiac in their junior high school newspaper, and I get bonus points because they both have IQs over 160."

"Where are they?"

"In San Francisco. Caleb Rossmore is a city parks employee. Harvey Morell is an engineer at a Chinese computer firm. He's about to get married. And yes, I just emailed you all this information right now."

JJ grabbed her tablet and quickly opened the images. "The fiancee, Marisa Devon, looks like the two female victims. They were surrogates for her," she pointed out.

"Caleb could be jealous of his friend," Derek suggested.

"Or what if he's afraid of losing Harvey?" Emily questioned.

"If he was a child prodigy, he may no longer feel special as an adult. He could be trying to hold on to him," Spencer commented.

"Harvey's engagement could have been a trigger," Rossi added.

Hotch turned towards Reid. "Reid, I know Spassky conceded the match, but what would the next move have been?"

"Spassky would've been checkmated, or he would have lost his queen," he replied, marking the space on the map.

"Okay, we've got to track this guy down. Everyone grab a vest and meet at the SUVs. Morgan and Reid with me, Prentiss and JJ go with Dave."

* * *

On the way to the cars, Emily quickly pulled Hotch aside. "I know this is last minute, but I wouldn't be asking if it didn't mean something."

"What is it?" Hotch asked.

"If given the opportunity, let Reid lead on this. He needs it, he really does," Emily pleaded.

Hotch looked at her for a moment before nodding.

"Thank you," Emily said as she quickly ran to the waiting SUV.

Hotch climbed in the driver seat, Spencer in the back and Derek in the passenger seat. As they drove towards the destination that matched up with the chess square, Spencer called Garcia for Hotch.

"Spassky's queen was in square E-8, so that would land us in Richmond. Garcia, is there a connection between that location and the two men?"

"Checking now. Uh… Bingo. Harvey's dad worked there as a chemistry teacher in the '60s. And… oh, uh, Caleb lived there in 2008. He worked at the Powerlinks Gym on 2nd and Hill, and the Dragon Temple Restaurant at 636 Mason."

Hotch grabbed the radio on his shoulder. "JJ you head to the gym, we'll head to the restaurant."

"Copy that," and JJ turned the car on the first chance.

"Zablonsky's wife recognized the photos of Caleb and Harvey. They interviewed the detective for an article they were writing about the Zodiac when they were kids," Rossi said as he hung up his phone.

"Oh, they wrote a "Crime Beat" column in the newspaper," Garcia announced.

"One of them stole the photo left at the first crime scene," JJ said as she shook her head.

"It had to be Caleb. The message "You can do so much better" in the Chinese paper was meant for Harvey," Spencer explained.

"That means the original spam message was for him, too," Emily added.

"Well, how did Caleb know that Harvey wouldn't turn him in?" Derek asked.

"Caleb has something on him, or he's holding the fiancée hostage," Spencer replied.

"Shut the front door! They were interviewed by police in 2000 about a crime in their hometown," Garcia informed them.

"What crime?" Spencer asked.

"The disappearance of Robbie Shaw."

"That's gotta be it," Spencer said as every block fell into place in his head. "They might have murdered him and Caleb could very easily release the location of his body, putting the both of them in prison and separating him and Marisa for good."

"Then why take Marisa?" JJ asked.

"Leverage?" Derek suggested.

Spencer nodded and stared out the window.

A few minutes later they had pulled up at the restaurant and quietly climbed out of the car. Derek stood near the front and turned towards Hotch, waiting for directions.

"Reid, you're going to lead this one," Hotch said as he looked over at the younger agent.

Slightly surprised, Spencer nodded and slowly led them into the front of the restaurant. As he moved towards the back of the kitchen, Spencer could hear two men fighting. Signaling for Derek and the others to stay behind, Spencer stealthily moved to a spot, waiting for the right time to make his entrance.

"The police won't catch us, because the murders were perfect. Just like Robbie Shaw's," Caleb said and Spencer stepped out from the wall, gun raised in front of him.

"Not really. If they were perfect, I probably wouldn't be here right now."

"I had nothing to do with this," Harvey quickly announced.

"You really went out of your way to impress Harvey, Caleb. The murders… the chess game, all designed to entice him," Spencer said, his eyes trained on Caleb.

"Yes. He is pathological!"

"I don't know if Harvey's the best friend in the world if he's selling you out like that. I mean, after you killed Robbie Shaw together, you probably thought that you guys had an unbreakable bond," Spencer said, shaking his head.

"He killed Robbie by himself," Harvey exclaimed.

"When we took him into the woods and strangled him… I've never seen you so exhilarated. The look on your face. You can't deny that, Harvey."

"But afterwards, something changed. You two grew apart."

"I wasn't there."

"You pulled away from me. Do you know… how much that hurt? I would have done anything for you, Harvey. I looked up to you."

"You know what I think, Harvey? I think killing Robbie Shaw was your idea," Spencer said as he inched a little closer.

"No," Harvey replied a little too quickly.

"You chose him… because his brother used to pick on you in school."

"You're successful, you're charismatic, you're dominant, which means that you most likely made the plans and Caleb followed. Let me ask you this— where did you hide the body?"

"Listen to me..." He trailed off.

"If I was gonna kill somebody and hide a body, I think I would probably use sulfuric acid. You know, especially if my father was a chemistry teacher, right, Caleb?"

Harvey's attention quickly moved to Caleb. "Caleb… don't listen to him. He is trying to trick us."

"Do you trust him, Caleb?" Spencer asked.

"Caleb! Hey, Caleb! Whatever happens, we'll protect each other."

"Oh, I'm s-, I'm sure that he'll protect you if he's around. I mean, he is moving to Shanghai in a couple of months. He put the- put the transfer in about a year ago. Wait, did y- did your good friend Harvey not tell you about that? I'm sure that he'll send you a postcard."

"I was going to tell you," Harvey said, sounding completely pathetic.

"Robbie's bones are buried in his backyard." Caleb dropped his gun as Spencer signaled Derek and Hotch. Holstering his gun, Spencer waited for Derek to escort Caleb out before he grabbed Harvey and Hotch helped Marisa.

As the LEO's took Caleb and Harvey away, Spencer leaned against the SUV, arms crossed over his chest.

"Hey," came Emily's voice as she stood next to Spencer.

Spencer smiled and waved slightly. After a few minutes, he turned his head towards her. "Thank you," he said.

Feigning innocence, she smiled. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

Spencer laughed. "Really, thank you."

"Help clear your head at all?" Spencer nodded. Emily gave his arm a squeeze and saw Derek approaching them. "Keep it that way," she ordered and climbed into the other SUV.

"Everything okay?" Derek asked.

Spencer nodded. "I know I've been acting-"

"Spence," Derek quickly said, cutting him off. "Don't. It's in the past."

Spencer nodded. "Can we go home now? I miss our bed."

Derek shook his head. "How much sleep have you gotten since you left for Chicago? And be honest."

Spencer let out a defeated sigh and looked to the ground. "Approximately about 6 hours of deep sleeping and 2 of slight dozing."

"When we get on the jet, I will force you to sleep on the bench seat," Derek threatened, grinning as he finished.

"Yes sir," Spencer said joked slightly and mock saluted Derek.

"Smart ass," Derek mumbled and climbed into the front passenger seat as Hotch took the driver's.

* * *

Derek didn't even have to force Spencer onto the bench seat when they arrived at the jet. Spencer had made a beeline for the couch and almost instantly passed out. Knowing that he obviously needed sleep, the team sat towards the front of the jet. Rossi and Hotch were sitting at one table, filling out the paperwork, while Emily, JJ and Derek sat across from them, trying to figure out what to do about Spencer's birthday.

"So, not even a comment about his birthday?" Emily had asked.

Derek shook his head. "Before you guys left for Chicago, he didn't even like the idea of planning a party and he was up before I was yesterday. Didn't even acknowledge it."

"What, do you think that's going on with him?" JJ asked. "Besides the obvious."

Emily began picking at her fingernails, but with her hands hidden under the table. She wasn't about to break Spencer's trust by sharing the conversation she had with him at the coffee shop.

"Maybe it's just the idea of turning 30?" She offered.

Both JJ and Derek shrugged in response. "I'll talk to him later or something, right now I'm just happy he's asleep."

"What are you doing for a party?" JJ asked.

Derek grinned. "Garcia's already taking care of it, just make sure you're in the conference room by 10," he said, making sure he also informed Rossi and Hotch. "He's got blood work tomorrow at 9:30, thankfully the lab isn't that far from Quantico, so I won't fight him on me waiting around for him," he explained.

"And how are we supposed to get him into the conference room without seeing us all missing from the bullpen?" JJ asked.

"Let me take care of that," Emily said, giving them both a small smile.

Derek nodded. "It's all yours, Princess."

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Derek asked the next morning as they were getting dressed.

Spencer nodded as he slipped his shoes on. "I don't want you to miss your meeting. It's only blood work. You can drop me off and it's not that far from work, I'll be fine."

Derek smiled and grabbed his keys before pulling Spencer in for a kiss. "I'm sorry we missed your birthday," he whispered as he pulled away.

Spencer smiled and shrugged. "It's not like it was in your control, we were on a case and I was distracted."

"A little more than usual," Derek pointed out, as he opened the front door for Spencer and followed him out.

"The unsub was taunting me, you know how it is," Spencer muttered as he climbed into the car.

"I know, but I can't help but worry about you," Derek told him, planting a quick kiss on Spencer's temple before starting the car and pulling out of the driveway.

* * *

Spencer waited patiently for the elevator to reach the 6th floor and took a sip of his coffee. The blood work had taken 5 minutes, and he had the time to get coffee before making his way to work. The elevator doors opened and he made his way towards the BAU but stopped when he saw Emily coming down the hallway towards him.

"Hey Reid," she said as she got closer. "Hotch wants to speak to you."

Spencer made a slight face and sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"He probably wants to know why I've been acting so weird lately," he admitted.

Emily gave him a reassuring smile. "You are making a difference though, one person at a time."

"Thank you," he said, giving her a smile in return. "You know, I've been thinking a lot lately why I stayed after Gideon left. I know it was partially Derek, but there was a reason I never took those other offers."

"Nothing is accidental."

Spencer nodded before continuing. "And I realized, I don't know, there's just something… incredibly right about being here. With you guys." He saw the slight glare that Emily gave him and grinned. "And I'm not going to let my diagnosis become a sentence."

Emily grinned and walked over him, putting a hand on the small of his back and guiding him towards the conference room. "Well, I'm glad to hear that. Otherwise, this would have been really awkward."

He looked at her confused. "What would've been really awkward?"

Emily didn't respond as she stepped away and pushed opened the door to the conference room, grinning.

Spencer couldn't fight back the grin when he saw the rest of the team in the room, yelling surprise.

JJ was the first one to step forward and hug him, followed by Hotch who shook his hand with a "Happy late 30."

He couldn't help but laugh as Rossi stepped forward and grabbed his face, kissing him on both cheeks. Penelope was quick to follow with a bear hug.

"Happy birthday, old man," Derek teased as he stepped to Spencer, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him on the cheek.

"Watch it," Spencer mumbled, sending him a mock glare.

Garcia then stepped up, holding the cake in front of him. "No more forgetting your own birthday, 187!" She ordered causing the rest of the team to laugh. The grin on Spencer's face grew as he blew out the candles and was enveloped in cheers.

* * *

When Derek and Spencer got home that night, Spencer couldn't get the smile off of his face.

"Someone's happy," Derek teased as the two of them sat down on the couch. "Especially for someone who didn't want to celebrate his birthday." He wrapped an arm around Spencer's shoulder and pulled him into his side.

Spencer shrugged and put his head on Derek's shoulder. "Changed my mind," he murmured, turning his head to look at Derek.

"Then you forgot," Derek said and tapped Spencer on the nose, laughing when he saw the face Spencer made in response.

"I didn't forget, I was distracted," Spencer grumbled. "I'm guessing this morning was all you?"

Derek smirked. "Garcia helped."

Spencer leaned up and kissed Derek on the cheek. "Thank you," he whispered as he pulled away.

"Anything for you," Derek returned and kissed him on the head.

They sat there in silence for a few moments before Derek spoke up again. "You seemed kind of off this afternoon. Everything okay?"

Spencer sighed. "Doctor Barnes' office called earlier." Spencer bit his lip before continuing. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away, but they want me to come in tomorrow morning."

Derek let out a breath and rubbed a hand over his scalp. "I was enjoying the break."

Spencer snuggled into Derek's side, smiling when he felt Derek's grip tighten. "I already cleared it with Hotch, we get to be late tomorrow."

Derek nodded. "Everything's going to be alright, you know that?"

Spencer swallowed and nodded. "Yeah."

"Get up," Derek ordered a few minutes later. Spencer shot him a confused glance but complied. As they stood up, Derek took Spencer's hand in his own and started dragging him towards the bedroom.

"Derek, what are we doing?" Spencer asked as Derek lightly pushed him onto the bed and closed the door.

"You need a distraction," he responded. "Now move, lay in the middle."

Spencer silently complied, keeping a confused look. "I thought you didn't like when I was distracted," he mumbled as Derek straddled his hips.

"It's different when I'm your distraction," Derek teased as he quickly unbuttoned Spencer's shirt and helped him take it off.

"What-" Spencer was quickly cut off as he felt Derek lips on his own. His eyes closed as he gave in, unable to hold back the moan. "I like this distraction."

Derek chuckled as he began nipping at Spencer's neck. "Thought you would," smirking at each small noise that came from Spencer.

"Derek, no teasing," Spencer mumbled as his hands moved to Derek's shoulders. "And why are your clothes still on?"

"This is your distraction, Pretty Boy," Derek told him, leaning forward to kiss him again as his hands moved past the band to Spencer's pants and he wrapped his hand around Spencer's cock.

Derek began moving his hand teasingly up and down, Spencer moaning as he kept rhythm at a steady pace.

"You're always so sensitive," Derek mumbled, kissing Spencer's stomach. His smirk grew when a long moan came from Spencer as he tightened his grip slightly and began moving his hand a little faster.

This carried on for a few minutes until Spencer came into Derek's hand.

"What about you?" Spencer asked after Derek had cleaned them both and had climbed back into bed, wrapping his arms around Spencer.

"I'm fine," Derek said, grinning as he pulled Spencer closer to him and kissed him on the forehead. "Happy birthday."

Spencer smiled and leaned up, kissing Derek. "Thank you," he whispered as he pulled away. "For everything."

"Anything for you."

* * *

The next morning as the alarm went off, Spencer rolled over and groaned. "Stop laughing," he grumbled as he heard Derek chuckling from the spot on the bed next to him.

Derek shook his head and leaned over, kissing Spencer. "Good morning to you too." He pulled away and stood up from the bed.

"There is nothing good about mornings," Spencer mumbled as he sat up.

"Get coffee and you'll be better," Derek ordered as he grabbed his clothes and went to get ready.

Twenty minutes later, Spencer was on his third coffee, now in a travel mug and the pair made their way out the door.

The car ride to the appointment was silent as they usually were. That didn't stop Derek from looking at Spencer every few minutes to make sure the genius wasn't over thinking anything. He placed his hand on Spencer's thigh, squeezing it to give Spencer any reassurance he may need. Derek smiled as he felt Spencer's own hand on top of his own. The pair stayed that way until Derek pulled into the parking lot.

"Ready, Pretty Boy?" he asked, looking over.

Spencer nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "As ready as I can be."

The two climbed out of the car, slowly making their way into the building. After signing in, they sat down and their nerves for the appointment grew with each passing second. Derek watched as Spencer's leg began to bounce, a tell that he always had. Hopefully they wouldn't have to wait too long.

Derek jumped slightly when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Pulling out his phone, he glanced over at Spencer who was lost in thought. He sighed and answered the call.

"Hey baby girl," he greeted.

"Where are you? Why aren't you two at work? Why-"

"Baby girl, calm down!"

"Only if you tell me-"

"I will if you me talk!"

He heard Garcia let out a long sigh. "Fine," she mumbled.

"Thank you," he rolled his eyes. "We're at an appointment with Spencer's doctor. Hotch already knows. We're just going to be a little late."

"Is everything okay?" Her voice was a little a shaky.

"We don't know anything yet, we're still-" Derek was cut off when a nurse stepped into the waiting room and called Spencer's name.

Spencer's head snapped up and Derek felt Spencer's hand in his own, squeezing it slightly.

"Baby girl, I've gotta go," he whispered quickly, hanging up without waiting for a response. He shoved his phone back into his pocket and stood up, pulling Spencer up with him.

Squeezing Spencer's hand, Derek followed the nurse as Spencer stuck close to his side.

After quickly taking his vitals and labs, Spencer and Derek were led to a patient room and were left alone once again.

"Who was on the phone?" Spencer asked, hoping to distract his mind from wandering again.

"Garcia was just wondering why we weren't at work," Derek replied.

Spencer nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "Hopefully we're not here for too long."

Derek didn't really have a response for that as he wasn't sure what exactly the right thing to say would be.

A heavy silence fell upon both of them. Derek wished he could say the right thing and Spencer tried to make sure his mind didn't make up worst case scenarios for him.

There was a knock at the door that caused both of them to jump, letting out a small breath while Doctor Barnes walked through the door. The older man gave the two agents a small smile as he approached them and shook their hands.

"Sorry this took so long. Would you two mind accompanying me to my office? I'm sure you'd be more comfortable there."

Derek nodded and took Spencer's hand again in his own, and the two followed the doctor to his office. Guiding them into the room, Barnes gestured for them to take the empty seats in front of his desk and then sat in his own.

"How've you been Spencer?" Doctor Barnes asked casually as he began to pull out medical files.

Spencer shrugged. "Can't complain."

"He got over his cold pretty quickly," Derek added in.

Doctor Barnes nodded and opened a file in front of him before looking to the two of them. "As you already know, we were able to decrease the size of the primary tumor down to 4.6cm with the craniotomy and removed the secondary tumors," he paused until Spencer nodded. "Have you been having any intense headaches? Headaches in general? Have you had any seizures?"

Spencer bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. "I had a headache a few days ago. I don't know if it was related to this or if it was stress related."

"We were working a case in San Francisco, he was at a seminar earlier that day before he flew out and he didn't get much sleep over the course of the case," Derek explained.

Doctor Barnes nodded. "Headaches, especially stress related are normal. Now, what we need to do is plan out your next form of treatment."

"And what have you decided?" Spencer asked, clearing his throat.

"As of right now, it would be beneficial if we went with chemotherapy."

Spencer bit his lip as his mind quickly went to work, trying to recall all that he had read about chemotherapy treatments since his diagnosis. He was quickly brought from his thoughts when he felt Derek's thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hand.

"What will that treatment entail?" Derek asked.

"I've consulted with a few other oncologists on which would be the best, and they've agreed on Carmustine."

"How long will the treatments last?"

Opening a drawer in his desk, Doctor Barnes searched for a few packets and pulled them out, handing them to Derek. "That's what we need to plan. Most chemotherapies are given over the course of several sessions that span over a few months," Doctor Barnes explained, making sure he kept eye contact with at least one of them.

"Will I still be allowed to work?" Spencer asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"That all comes down to you and how you react to the treatment," Barnes replied, giving Spencer a reassuring smile. "Everyone reacts differently, and the side effects are always different. Now as far as the treatments, I want to start with three cycles. You'd come in for two days to receive the infusion, then the next cycle wouldn't be for another six weeks. After three cycles, we'll redo the scans and move on from there."

Spencer nodded as his mind quickly filed everything away and squeezed Derek's hand to let him know he was okay.

"When would I start?"

"We'll plan for next Monday? And if something comes up, we'll just delay it until you come home. How does that sound?"

Spencer nodded in response, not really trusting himself to voice anything right now.

"Thank you, doctor," Derek said, standing and holding his hand out to the older man.

Doctor Barnes gave both him and Spencer a smile, and he shook Derek's hand and nodded towards Spencer. "I'll see you both on Monday. Call me if there is anything that comes up."

"We will," Derek responded and the two of them left.

Spencer didn't say anything in the car, not that Derek expected him to. What worried him was when Spencer didn't object to Derek calling them both in sick.

"Yeah, Hotch, we just need some time to adjust to the news," Derek had explained. Hotch understood immediately and had no problem giving them the day off. Derek had also invited him over after work to discuss things.

"Spencer, talk to me. Please," Derek pleaded as he practically dragged Spencer to sit down next to him on the couch.

After a few minutes, Spencer looked up and made eye contact with Derek. Derek bit his lip when he saw the hazel orbs glassy, tears threatening to fall.

"Pretty Boy, come here," Derek mumbled as he pulled Spencer into his side. One arm was wrapped around him to secure him there as he ran his hand soothingly through Spencer's hair.

"It's going to be alright, everything's going to be alright," Derek mumbled into the younger man's hair, repeating the mantra for both himself and Spencer. He kept them there for a while. He clenched his eyes closed as Spencer's thin frame began to shake.

"Ssh, Spencer. Let it all out, everything's going to be okay," Derek whispered as he ran his hands up and down Spencer's back.

"I don't know if I can do this," Spencer mumbled suddenly as his shakes started to cease and he rested his head on Derek's shoulder.

"Hey, hey. None of that," Derek ordered, kissing Spencer's temple. "You're not going to be alone in this, we're going to be here every step of the way."

Spencer sighed and nodded, trying to snuggle himself deeper in Derek's side. "I do think calling in was a good idea," he whispered, causing Derek to chuckle.

"So you were paying attention."

Spencer looked up at him and gave him a small smile. "I also heard you inviting Hotch over. Now, I'm going to go jump in the shower." Spencer announced suddenly, pulling away and standing up.

"Can I join you?" Derek teased, smirking.

"I would say yes, but-"

"But what?"

"I like having someone to shower with. That won't happen unless you call Garcia and explain to her why we never showed up to work," Spencer explained and gave him a small grin before making his way to the bathroom.

"Damn, he's right," Derek mumbled, rubbing a hand over his head. He sighed and pulled out his phone, calling Garcia.

"Derek Morgan! You'd better have a good reason why you and Boy Wonder never showed up or I'm going to take my beautiful system and-"

"Calm down! Calm down!"

"You do not tell me to call down, Derek. So help me whatever heavenly being is up there, if you don't start explaining," Garcia demanded.

Derek let out a sigh. "Mama, I'm sorry I didn't call you right away-"

"What happened in the appointment? Is my baby okay, Derek? Don't drag it out, please," Garcia pleaded.

"His next step in the treatment is chemotherapy, and if there aren't any cases, Doctor Barnes wants to beginMonday."

There was a silence on the line as Derek sat there waiting for a response. There was a small whimper on the other line and he sighed.

"Penelope, everything is going to be okay, trust me."

"Do not lie to me! Chemotherapy and fine aren't things that go together!" Garcia cried. "How's Spencer doing?"

Derek took a quick glance at the still closed door. "As alright as he's going to let me see," he admitted. He slouched into the back of the couch. "He was silent until we got home and he broke down. I figured this was going to happen so I called Hotch after we got back to the car."

"And he didn't protest?"

"Didn't say a damn thing." Derek sighed. "Hotch is coming over later to discuss things as far as, well, everything. We'll be at work tomorrow since Spencer would rather just be more upfront about this. I'm sorry for not calling you earlier."

"As you should be," Garcia teased lightly. "Take care of our baby and I'll see you both tomorrow. I'll get the coffee."

"Thank you Penelope," Derek said, smiling.

"My pleasure," she said before hanging up.


	19. Chapter 19

A few hours later, Derek and Spencer were sitting in the living room, waiting for Hotch to come over. He had called on his way out of Quantico and told them he'd bring dinner. They didn't object.

"Why is this no nerve-wracking," Spencer mumbled as he rubbed the top of Clooney's head, something that he hadn't stopped doing since Hotch had called.

"It's something new, it's expected," Derek told him. "You don't have anything to worry about."

Spencer sighed. "I know, but you know me," he joked lightly.

Before Derek could respond there was a knock at the door. Spencer sat up straight, but didn't take his hand away from petting Clooney.

"I'm not ready for this," he muttered as Derek stood.

"I'm here, everything's fine. It's just Hotch," Derek soothed, ruffling Spencer's hair as he got up and made his way to the door.

"Hey, Hotch," he greeted as he opened it and the other agent walked in.

"Hope pizza was okay," he said as Derek closed the door.

"Pizza is fine, we've already got stuff set up in the living room," Derek assured, leading him there.

"Hi Hotch," Spencer said as they entered the room, giving the man a slight wave.

"Hey, how are you doing?" he asked as Derek took the box from him, giving Hotch the chance to sit down on the vacant spot next to Spencer on the couch.  
Spencer shrugged and gave him a small, lopsided smile. "I've had better days."

The three of them ate in a comfortable silence until the pizza was half gone. After they quickly cleaned up, they all settled back into the living room. Derek and Spencer were on the couch,

Hotch taking the chair closest to them.

"What did Doctor Barnes have to say?" Hotch said, hoping to just get everything out. "Morgan didn't explain much on the phone."

Spencer licked his lips before responding. "With the results of shrinking the primary tumor, removing the secondary tumor and consulting another oncologist, he advised that the next step in the treatment should be chemotherapy."

"And, barring any cases, he wants to begin Monday," Derek added.

They both remained quiet as they watched Hotch. The man had crossed his arms and was obviously thinking it over, then nodded. "We can figure everything out now or when it comes, up to you," he stated, looking directly at Spencer.

"Well, I'm allowed to work," Spencer started, biting his lip.

Quirking an eyebrow, Hotch shot Derek a questioningly look, who couldn't help but chuckle in response. "Don't worry, man. I was there for it and it's legit. No 'second opinions' this time."

"Hey!" Spencer protested, glaring at Derek. "Not fair," he mumbled after Derek pulled him into his side. Rolling his eyes, he looked back to Hotch. "I am allowed to work as long as I'm feeling up to it. Doctor Barnes had explained how everyone reacts to the treatment differently and the statistics of someone getting the exact same side effects of another patient is astronomical," he explained.

"What are the side effects?" Hotch asked.

Derek shot a guilty look at Spencer who sighed. "Of course you didn't read the literature," he mumbled. "The more common side effects are nausea and vomiting, given that they're the ones that last about 4 hours after the initial treatment."

Spencer took a deep breath before continuing. "Other possible side effects are the obvious hair loss, blood problems, fatigue and pain from the injection site. There are also less common side effects like dizziness and eye problems."

There was another silent moment as both Derek and Hotch took in the list that Spencer had just rambled off. Finding his voice first, Hotch asked another question. "Is there some sort of schedule that he wants you set up on?"

Spencer nodded. "Three cycles of a two-day treatment spread out between six weeks."

"Have you thought about plans of action that you will take if you're not feeling well enough to work?"

Derek looked at Spencer when he heard Hotch's question. This had been something he'd been wondering himself, but didn't know how to word it.

"I've only ever called in sick twice and that wasn't until recently," Spencer started. "I have more than enough sick leave saved up. If for any reason using those sick leave days doesn't work for the bureau, there isn't much they can say against the Family and Medical Leave act."

Derek and Hotch both looked at the younger man with looks of pride and impression. The fact that Spencer had worked out everything in such little time after receiving such news as he did was commendable.

Hotch nodded. "There are other situations that we'll cover if the situation arises."

Spencer furrowed his brow in confusion. "Like what?"

"What you should do if we're on a case and you're not feeling well enough to work, what to do if we're called out on a case and you're not feeling well to travel. More similar to that, but we can discuss those things later."

Spencer and Derek both nodded, mentally noting to discuss those later.

"Are you up to working tomorrow?"

Spencer nodded. "I figured that's also when we could tell the team," he cleared his throat and looked from Hotch to Derek. "Better to be open and honest about all this."

Hotch nodded in agreement. "We'll discuss it first thing in the morning." He stole a quick glance at his watch. "I didn't realize the time, I need to get home to Jack."

"No problem," Derek commented as the three of them stood up and walked Hotch to the door.

"Thank you, for coming tonight."

"You know I'm more than happy to help with anything," he said as he patted both of them on the shoulder, bidding them a good night and walking out of the door.

* * *

"Could this elevator go any slower?" Spencer grumbled the next morning. Derek looked at him, confused.

"What are you talking about?"

Spencer took a long sip of his coffee. "I don't know, it just seems like the elevator is going slower than usual," he said with a shrug.

Derek gave him a small smile and kissed him on the forehead. "It's because you're anxious; we both are."

Spencer returned the smile as the elevator stopped on their floor and the doors opened.

"Finally," he sighed as they both stepped out.

Derek smiled, putting his hand on the small of Spencer's back and pushing him towards the bullpen. They could see that everyone was already in the round table room. Spencer stopped and took a deep breath.

"Everything okay?" Derek asked.

Spencer took another deep breath before nodding and giving Derek a smile. "Just everything is becoming a little more real, but it feels good that we're not hiding this from them," he admitted.

"I couldn't agree more," Derek told him, wrapping an arm around Spencer's waist. "Let's go," and the two made their way to the conference room.

"Can we stop making these meetings a thing, they're always nerve wracking," they heard Garcia complain as they made their way into the room.

Everyone looked at them as they walked in. Spencer tried to ignore everyone's gaze and stared at the floor as Derek shared a nod with Hotch.

"What's this about?" Rossi asked.

Spencer licked his lips and swallowed, trying to urge the words to come out. Feeling Derek squeezing his hip, he looked at the man before finally looking to the rest of the team.

"Yesterday I had an appointment with Doctor Barnes to discuss the results from the craniotomy and what we're going to do for the next step in the treatment," he explained, his voice wavering.

"And they want to start chemotherapy," Derek immediately picked up for him.

The room was silent as everyone took the news in. Spencer had closed his eyes and turned in towards Derek.

Both JJ and Garcia were trying to wipe away the rapidly flowing tears from their cheeks. Emily was staring at the table while Rossi had his usual poker face.

"When would you start?" Emily asked after a few minutes.

Derek guided Spencer and himself to sit on the couch, Spencer still having his head shoved into Derek's shoulder. "If we're not on a case, Monday," came Spencer's muffled reply.

"What can we do to help?" Rossi asked.

"We're not sure of which side effects he will get or how his body will respond to the treatment," Derek explained.

"After talking about it last night," Spencer began as he sat up and looked towards Garcia. "We were hoping that if the time comes and I can't go on a case, that I can help from either Garcia's office or home."

He couldn't help but give a small smile when Garcia immediately nodded. "You know I'm more than happy to help you in anyway, Boy Wonder."

"And we'll help anyway we can when we're not out on cases," JJ said as she stood up and made her way over to the pair on the couch. Spencer smiled and stood as she wrapped her arms around him and he responded, wrapping his arms around her and shoving his face into her shoulder.

"We're here for you, Spence," she whispered in his ear as she rubbed his back.

"I know," he responded as they pulled away. That started a round robin of hugs as everyone reassured Spencer and Derek that they were going to be there for both of them.

Hotch had then ordered them back to work, slipping out himself to attend a parent-teacher conference for Jack.

Derek led Spencer to his office, knowing the younger man was going to need a few minutes to collect himself after that meeting. Derek closed the door and joined Spencer on the couch, smiling as Spencer shifted closer to Derek's side.

"You okay?" Derek asked, wrapping an arm around Spencer's shoulder.

Spencer nodded. "That wasn't as bad as I was expecting," he said, looking at Derek. "It was nerve wracking, but it felt good just to be able to tell them."

Derek smiled and kissed Spencer on the temple.

"I'm still nervous," Spencer admitted.

"About Monday?"

Spencer nodded, biting his lip.

Derek held him closer. "Just keep your mind off of it, everything's gonna be alright."

* * *

An hour or so later, they had returned to the conference room, a new case that had come across Garcia's desk.

"Does anyone remember this picture?" she asked, the image popping up on the screen of a distressed man, guarding a young girl.

"Hotch and I were there," Rossi replied. "That's Principal Doug Givens. We had to drag him to safety."

"High school bombing in Boise, right?" Emily asked.

"School shooter and school bomber. A kid named Randy Slade shot 3 students and then set off an I.E.D. in the cafeteria via cell phone, killing himself and 13 kids total, but not before posting all of his plans online," JJ explained. "It was one of those 'where were you?' events. My whole campus was glued to the TV."

"Last night Principal Givens was killed by a bomb, modeled exactly like the old one," Garcia told them.

"It feels like the unsub wants to attack the man who kept the school together after the bombing," Derek spoke as he went through the crime scene photos on his tablet. "It's a pretty symbolic target."

"And this week is the 10th anniversary of the massacre," Hotch announced.

"And today is the first of a 4-day event to commemorate the bombing of the school," Garciaadded.

"Except commemorating it isn't enough for this unsub," said Emily.

"No," Hotch agreed. "He wants to relive it. Wheels up in 30."

"Hey, JJ, would you mind if Spencer rides with you to the airstrip?" Derek asked as he stood with everyone else, collecting their things from the table.

Both Spencer and JJ shot the man a strange look. "Yeah no problem," she said. "Meet you at the car?" She asked, rubbing his arm.

Spencer nodded then turned back to Derek as JJ made her way out of the room with Emily.

"And what's wrong with me riding with you?"

"Nothing, Pretty Boy. I just need to talk to Garcia about a few things first and figured you'd want to get right to the jet," Derek explained.

Spencer raised an eyebrow, looking between the two and shrugging. "Whatever," he mumbled as he grabbed his messenger bag and left the room.

"Now what do you need, angelfish?" Garcia asked, making her way over to Derek.

"Spencer admitted how nervous he was about everything earlier and I want a way to keep him sort of relaxed, well as much as he can be, on this case," Derek explained.

"What did you have in mind?"

Derek grinned. "I think it times for a little prank war."

* * *

"Perpetrators of school violence are often sophisticated with their weapons," Spencer explained as the team worked on the profile. "Randy Slade carried his bomb in his backpack. This guy hid his in Givens' clock-radio."

"Yeah, and progressive," Emily added. "Each one tries to top the body count of the one previous."

"And they're loners by default, not by choice. They try to join various social groups, but they get shut out," JJ put in.

"Randy Slade wasn't a loner at all," Hotch told them, looking over to Rossi who nodded.

"The family cooperated fully with us," he explained. "He was a high-functioning psychopath, straight-A student, varsity wrestler, lots of girlfriends."

"With an above average intelligence that made him incredibly resourceful. His explosive of choice was Semtex. It's found at demolition sites, but it's held under lock and key," Spencer conveyed.

"Which made us consider the possibility of a partner. Never found one," Rossi explained.

"Slade was too much of a narcissist to share credit. But he was also an impulsive teen, which is what bothers me about this unsub," Hotch admitted.

"His sense of control?" Emily asked.

"And the endgame that he's working toward," Hotch said as he nodded. "When we land, JJ and Reid, I want you two to go to the crime scene. Morgan and Prentiss, you go to the morgue. Dave will come with me to the police station."

Rossi and Hotch then moved to the back of the jet to go over the past case and now.

"What did you need to ask Garcia about?" Spencer asked Derek.

Derek tried to fight back the grin trying to escape and smiled instead. "Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head over."

Spencer raised an eyebrow, curious, but shrugged before closing the file in front of him and turning to look out the window.

"Oh, pretty boy," Derek started, reaching into his pocket. "You left your phone in the car," he said, pulling it out and handing it to Reid.

"Must've fallen out of my bag," Spencer muttered and shoved it into his pocket before returning to looking out the window.

* * *

"Alright, got it. See ya later," Spencer said, putting his phone in his pocket.

"Who was that?" JJ asked as Spencer came back into the bedroom.

"Derek. Garcia had found something on Slade's brother, so he's heading over there with Emily, Rossi, and Hotch," he explained.

JJ nodded. "Okay, so, the unsub has to be tied to the school somehow, right?" She thought aloud. "Current student, alumni, family member who lost someone?"

"Could be a Slade groupie celebrating his hero," Spencer suggested. "He taped nails to the exterior of the bomb, specifically to rip open flesh. That's a sadistic detail of Slade's the unsub copied."

"Except he tricked Givens into blowing himself up," JJ pointed out. "A groupie probably wouldn't show that much self control."

"Someone with an ax to grind against the principal would," he argued. "Maybe he's a surrogate for the tormentors in high school he can't punish. Who were yours?"

"I don't even remember."

Spencer looked over at her, confused. "You don't even remember? Wait, were you one of the mean girls?"

JJ turned around to face him. "No," she replied.

"Valedictorian, soccer scholarship, corn-fed but still a size 0," he listed. "I think you might have been a mean girl."

JJ shook her head. "I was actually one of the nice girls. Even to guys like you."

Spencer furrowed his brow. "Guys like me? I'll have you know that my social standing increased once I started winning at basketball."

"Oh yeah, you played basketball?" she asked, turning around. The look on her face was nothing but disbelief.

Spencer shook his head. "I didn't play, I coached basketball," he explained. "I broke down the opposing team's shooting strategy."

Realization dawned on JJ and she smirked slightly. "Is that why Morgan banned you from the pool?"

Spencer smiled and nodded. "Took him a few years to realize I was hustling him."

She returned the smile and the two of them finished looking around the crime scene. JJ watched Spencer climb into the passenger seat of the SUV before reaching over and taking his hand.

"Are you okay, Spence?" she asked when he looked over at her.

Frowning at the question, he thought about his response and smiled slightly when he felt JJ squeeze his hand. "Yeah," he whispered. "I will be."

She squeezed his hand again and smiled before starting the car and driving off.

* * *

"That wasn't Reid's number you gave the press," Rossi said to Derek as they climbed into the SUV. "Reid's number is 9988, not whatever you gave them."

Derek smirked. "You're right."

"What are you up to?" Emily asked from beside him.

Derek shook his head and grinned. "You all will find out soon enough."

* * *

While at the Slade home, they had found a list hidden inside a book that belonged to Randy. Hotch had received a call from JJ and Reid, who were investigating the recent crime scene where Chelsea Grant had been murdered. They confirmed that her name had been on Slade's list.

Deciding to continue in the morning, Hotch had them all meet in the hotel lobby. As Spencer and JJ walked in, Derek fought back the laugh that wanted to escape when he saw Spencer glaring at his phone.

"Everything alright, Reid?" Emily asked as they approached.

Spencer sent a small glare Derek's way before nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Hotch looked between the two and shook his head, sighing. "The hotels were crowded given recent events, so we're sharing."

After passing around the keys everyone made their way to their rooms, more than happy to have a break for the night.

Derek grabbed a shower as Spencer got ready for bed. After getting out of the shower, he was surprised to see Spencer curled up on the other bed.

"What's this?" Derek asked, as he went to sit next to Spencer.

In response, Spencer rolled to the other side of the bed. "No."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "No, what?"

"You did something. I don't know what. I'll find out though, but until then, I'm not talking to you unless it's about the case. Good night."

Derek sighed and stood from the bed. "Night," he muttered and climbed into the other bed.

This carried over into the next day. Spencer woke up to 15 missed calls and did everything he could to ignore Derek. After meeting the team in the hotel lobby, all of them could see something was off.

"Everything okay?" JJ asked as she approached Spencer, who was already denying calls. He looked up at her and gave her a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

She raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"

"Positive."

As Spencer's phone began to ring again, he scowled and reached into his pocket, quickly cancelling the call. JJ shared a look with Emily who nodded her head towards Derek and shrugged.

"Reid, you're with me," Hotch announced, walking over to him. "We're going to go and take another look around Chelsea Grant's hotel room."

Reid nodded and followed the older agent out. Once out of sight, JJ turned to Derek. "What did you _do_?"

Derek raised an eyebrow. "What gives you the idea I did something?"

JJ crossed her arms. "Don't give me that, Morgan. I haven't seen Spence that irritated since the whole whistle fiasco."

"Whistle fiasco?" Emily asked, but dismissed it when they both could see the small wince from Derek.

"Leave the boy alone," Rossi ordered, walking over to the group. "He's got something planned. Doesn't mean you need to be in on it."

"And you are?" JJ asked.

Rossi smirked and didn't say anything, walking away from the group. Derek grinned and shook his head, following him out.

"Whistle fiasco?" Emily asked again as she and JJ made their way out towards an SUV.

JJ smiled in return. "I'll explain on the way."

* * *

"The unsub crushed Chelsea's throat so she couldn't scream, then he pulverized her ribs, sending fragments of bone into her heart," Spencer explained to Hotch as the two of them entered the crime scene.

"Principal Givens was high-profile; Chelsea wasn't," Hotch pointed out. "Right now the only thing connecting them is that they're both on the kill list."

"A list that Brandon kept secret for ten years. But he was in custody when this happened. The question is, how did the unsub get the exact same list?" Spencer asked.

"Well, we ruled out a partner, but not conclusively," Hotch explained.

"Slade made every part of his plan public. It doesn't make sense that he would hide a partner."

"He didn't want to share the credit. And this weekend is the partner's best chance to claim it." Hotch reached into his pocket to grab his phone as Spencer nodded in agreement.

"Dave, we're ready for the profile," and he hung up. "Ready to go?"

Spencer was about to respond when his phone rang. Groaning, he reached in his pocket andstole a quick glance before ignoring the call. "I'm sorry," he mumbled quickly.

"Everything alright?"

Spencer nodded. "As good as it can be at the moment."

* * *

The team stood at the front of the room, ready to present the profile.

"Partners of dominant psychopaths are usually submissive, but that doesn't mean that they can't be intelligent or that they're physically weak," Hotch led.

"This unsub laid low after the bombing and successfully evaded police and FBI. That took cunning and patience, which he's exhibiting now with his current murders," Derek continued.

"We think he fits the loner profile Slade debunked," JJ explained. "He grew up in an abusive home, which kept him from forming the normal social bonds in high school."

"We interviewed all the outcasts from back then. How did this guy slip through?" the chief asked.

"Even outcasts eventually form friendships, but this unsub was the outcast the outcasts rejected," Spencer responded. "He won't stand out in any capacity, and as a matter of fact, most of his fellow students probably won't even remember graduating with him."

"And that invisibility is what made him attractive to Slade. This partner wouldn't steal the spotlight," Rossi added.

"Slade targeted the cafeteria because most of the names on his list ate there together during fifth period," Spencer explained.

"So his hatred festered when the names on the list emerged from the cafeteria as media heroes, so now he wants to finish the job that Randy started," Derek finished.

"Emotionally, this weekend is more a high school reunion to him than a memorial," Rossi explained. "We go to reunions to show who we grew up to be. Often that means changing everything about who we were."

"Consciously or not, Randy Slade revealed clues as to his partner's identity when he detonated his bomb," Hotch added. "Agent Prentiss will be conducting cognitive interviews to see what the survivors might remember."

The groups dispersed and Spencer scowled as his phone rang, again. Glaring at Derek, he made his way towards the station's break room.

"Morgan, whatever you're doing better not interfere with this case," Hotch demanded lightly as he approached Derek.

Derek sighed and ran a hand over his head. "It won't get that far, Hotch, I promise. I thought he needed something to keep his mind off of his treatment."

"And what if he misses a call from his doctor?"

"He won't."

"How do you know?"

"That's not his actual number, it was one that belonged to a disposable cell, I think. Garcia just explained how to do a SIM card switch, I think she called it. Any calls he may get on his actual number get rerouted to a phone she has in her office," Derek explained.

"I've never seen him this pissed off," Hotch admitted, his face relaxing slightly.

Derek smirked slightly. "From experience? This is nothing."

Hotch allowed Derek a small smile before shaking his head. "Just promise me you'll end it if it gets too far?"

"Of course."

"Very well."

* * *

While Emily went to conduct the cognitive interviews, the rest of the team stayed back at the station. Rossi and Morgan were talking to the LEO's while Hotch, Spencer, and JJ were on a conference call with Garcia, trying to figure out Slade's partner.

Spencer was only partially listening at the beginning. He couldn't concentrate with his phone ringing every few minutes. It had been non-stop since they had arrived in Idaho, and he couldn't remember the last time he was this angry with Derek. He didn't really know how Derek managed to pull this off, but he would think of something to get him back, hopefully with Garcia's help.

"Spence?" He heard JJ calling his name, bringing him from his thoughts.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he turned his phone off and returned to the conversation.

"So, as you can see from your board there, this kill list is weirdly similar to high school. Group one is like the popular kids: prom court, football team, dean's list— the Heathers, if you will," Garcia explained.

"Kids in Slade's social circle," Hotch summarized.

"What about number two?" JJ asked.

"Uhmm-hmm, that would be the kids from the other side of the tracks, 180-degree difference, kids this close to getting kicked out. Stoners, burnouts, mental cases. Chelsea Grant is on this list," Garcia responded.

Spencer groaned as his phone began to ring once again. He just wanted this to stop.

"Maybe Slade targeted them because they disgusted him?" JJ suggested.

"But they didn't threaten Slade's sense of superiority. He wouldn't have even cared about them," Hotch pointed out.

"All right, well, maybe the partner put them on the list. They'd be closer to his social status than Slade's."

"Why would the-" Spencer was cut off when his phone began ringing again. He scowled and pulled his phone out. "I'm so sorry."

JJ and Hotch both looked at him before sharing a look. They had never seen Spencer like this before.

Deciding to just turn his phone off for the time being, Spencer shoved it back in his pocket and looked to his two colleagues. "Why would the unsub list kids that he fit in with?" he asked.

"Apparently that's how this clique worked. Kids in it were meaner to each other than kids on the outside," Hotch explained. "Garcia, separate out all the kids who got into trouble regularly.

Then eliminate the names that the partner put on the list. Now who's left that came to the memorial?"

They heard her typing as she mumbled. "Right, whoever made the list wouldn't put their name on it." She fell silent as she continued to type. "Sir, I think- I think I've got him."

"Name, Garcia?" JJ requested.

"Lewis Ramsey."

"Current location?"

"Already sent to your phones," and she disconnected the call.

"Dave! Morgan!" Hotch called out. The two men entered the room. "I want you two and a few officers to head downtown and pick up Lewis Ramsey."

They nodded and made their way out.

Hotch made his way out of the room, leaving JJ and Spencer alone. Spencer sighed and leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his hair.

"You alright?" JJ asked, turning towards him.

He nodded. "Just sort of annoyed right now."

"Still pissed at Derek?" she asked, smirking slightly.

"Beyond," Spencer responded, sitting up. "He'd better watch himself."

She raised an eyebrow in surprise. "What have you got planned?"

Spencer smiled and shook his head. "My secret."

* * *

Emily had returned from the cognitive interviews by the time the others got back to the precinct with Ramsey. Jerry Holtz had been the only one willing to go through with the interviews, but he was the only one who had really seen anything.

During the interrogation with Ramsey, he admitted to typing up the list, but he wasn't the one who wrote the message on it. Near the end he had brought out a sobriety chip, explaining how he was going to tell everyone at the memorial what he had done. It was going to be his final amends.

"Do you buy it?" Emily asked as Hotch returned from the interrogation room.

"He fits the profile, and the evidence points to him, but he seems sincere," Hotch responded.

"He's not the unsub," Spencer suddenly said, Hotch and Emily turned towards him, surprised.

"He was the partner, but look at how Slade added 'all the losers in this godforsaken school'."

Spencer turned towards the whiteboard behind him and wrote out 'LoSeRs'. "This capitalization isn't accidental. Look: L. S. R," he said as he circled the letters. "Lewis Stewart Ramsey."

"So, Slade named his own partner."

"Ironically, Lewis' marijuana addiction saved his life."

"Well, that puts us back to our original problem," Emily pointed out. "If the unsub isn't the partner, how did he get his hands on a list that Slade and Lewis kept to themselves?"

"The only answer is that part of the profile's wrong. The unsub's vendetta has nothing to do with the list," Hotch replied. "Did you get anything from Jerry Holtz?"

"Only that he mixed up the cell phones that Slade used. It felt like he was making the story up, but I only had a hunch."

"We need to find him now. There's a connection to the victimology that we're missing. Whatever he's holding back might be the key." Before any of them had a chance to do anything, Hotch's phone rang.

"Hotchner," he answered. "What? JJ, are you sure?" Emily and Spencer watched him, curious and waited as he hung up the phone.

"That was JJ, a security guard from the high school has called in another murder. I want the two of you to meet her down there," Hotch explained.

"Who was it?" Spencer asked.

"Jerry Holtz."

* * *

Spencer was quiet in the passenger seat as Emily drove the two of them to the high school. A small headache had appeared a little earlier and the Tylenol had yet to help as the headache was slowly growing stronger.

"You okay?" Emily asked as they stopped at a traffic light.

"Kind of sick of people asking me that," he mumbled, not looking up. He sighed and rubbed his head. "I'm sorry, I'm just slightly agitated I guess."

Emily gave him a small smile and patted his knee. "Don't let whatever Morgan did get to you. I'm sure you have something up your sleeve."

Spencer chuckled slightly as he opened his eyes and looked over at Emily, giving her a smile in return. "Thanks, but that surprisingly isn't the thing on my mind at the moment."

Emily frowned slightly as the light turned and she continued driving. "What is on the mind of Dr. Reid then?"

Spencer sighed. "I'm just nervous about Monday, I guess," he explained, his voice cracking slightly. He swallowed and stared at his feet. He had promised now that everyone knew about his diagnosis that he would talk to everyone more, but it was something that he was still getting used to.

Emily was touched that he was showing this much vulnerability to her. After knowing him for so long, she knew how hard this was for him. She reached over once again, taking his hand in her own and squeezing, this time not letting go. "You have every right to be, you're handling it a lot better than any of us would."

Spencer didn't say anything and kept staring at the floor.

"Reid, you know you can talk to us. Any of us," she squeezed his hand again, smiling slightly when she got a squeeze back. "You've sort of turned into my annoying little brother."

"Hey!" Spencer protested as he finally looked over at Emily, trying to keep the smile off his face.

Emily grinned. "Okay, maybe you're not _that_ annoying."

* * *

After they had arrived at the high school, Spencer began examining the crime scene as Emily made her way over to JJ.

"Jerry Holtz? How long?"

"Less than hour," JJ replied. "Security guard hear the commotion, but the unsub was already gone."

"The only people who knew we were doing the cognitive interviews were the other survivors,"

Emily pointed out. "The unsub must be part of that group."

"Well we don't know that for a fact, he could have been lying in wait." She looked over at

Spencer who was kneeling down near the display case, looking over the smashed glass.

JJ sighed. "Look, Hotch wants me to go through the victims' lives and find the overlap. We can compare their histories with the unsubs."

"What else do we have to go on?" Emily asked.

"Spence said that the unsub would've broken his hand beating Chelsea to death. Did you notice anyone with a cast on their hand, someone who seemed hurt?"

"No," Emily responded, shaking her head.

"I might know why," Spencer spoke up, they both turned to him. "This unsub doesn't feel pain."

They both looked at Spencer, confused. "Is that possible?" Emily asked.

"It's a medical condition called pain asymbolia," he explained as he stood up. He turned from both of them, rubbing his head again as he looked over the broken display case once more.

Emily and JJ shared a look. "We should get back to Hotch, it's getting late."

* * *

After explaining to Hotch about what they had found at the crime scene and Spencer brought up the asymbolia, Hotch decided it would be better to call it night and start up in the morning.

As they made their way to the SUV's, Emily held Derek back a little so she could talk to him.

"Everything alright?" he asked her, slightly confused.

Emily bit her lip. "With me? Yes. With Reid? That's different."

Derek's eyebrows rose as he glanced at Spencer, who was talking to JJ towards the doors of the precinct, and back to Emily. "What's wrong, did something happen?"

Emily quickly put a hand on Derek's shoulder, hoping to calm him down slightly. "Just on the drive to the high school, he mentioned he was nervous about Monday, and I could tell he had a headache," she explained. "I wasn't sure if he would actually tell you, but I thought it would be better for you to know."

Derek sighed and ran his hand over his head, looking at Spencer one more time. "Thanks for telling me. Hopefully we can wrap this up soon."

Emily gave him a small smile and nodded, the two then made their way out.

When they got back to the hotel, Derek watched Spencer a little carefully as the other man got ready for bed, and he was surprised when he climbed into the bed with him.

"Not mad at me anymore?" Derek asked, smirking slightly as Spencer got under the blankets.

Spencer shook his head as he moved closer to Derek. "Oh, no. I'm still pissed because some jackass made it so I can't answer my phone."

Derek sighed and watched as Spencer turned on his side, his back to Derek. "Anything elseyou wanna tell me?"

It was silent between them for a few minutes before Derek heard Spencer sigh and he rolled over to face him.

"I had a headache this afternoon, Tylenol didn't work, and it got worse as the night went on. It's still kind of bad now," he admitted, avoiding eye contact with the other man.

Derek sighed and bent down, kissing Spencer on the forehead. "Thank you for telling me," he said as he wrapped his arms around him, pulling Spencer into his side.

"You're still not forgiven for the phone," Spencer mumbled. "I just hate sleeping without you."

Derek smiled and ran his hand through Spencer's hair. "Well, here's hoping you sleep better tonight."

When everyone met in the hotel lobby the next morning, they could tell that Spencer didn't seem as angry as he did the morning before. They all made their way to the SUVs.

"Reid, you said you had something about the unsub?" Rossi asked as they rode to the precinct.

Spencer nodded from the back seat, groaning as he heard his phone start to ring, but he ignored it. "Yeah."

"Do you think it's going to affect our profile?" Derek asked from the passenger seat, hiding the smirk when he saw the glare Spencer was sending him.

"It shouldn't," he said shortly as he rushed to ignore the phone call.

* * *

As Emily and JJ went through the victims' histories, Spencer explained his theory to Hotch, Rossi, and Morgan.

"There's a medical condition called pain asymbolia, where patients register harmful stimuli without being bothered by it," he explained. "They've been documented holding their hand over an open flame because their brain doesn't send pain signals to the central nervous system."

"Sounds pretty rare. You sure the unsub has it?" Rossi asked.

"The crime scenes prove it," Spencer quickly responded. "This unsub displayed an unusual level of savagery towards his victims. And consider this: he smashed through a glass display case, but there were no cuts on Jerry. That means he most likely punched through it, as a show of force. Now, the only way the human body could withstand that level of pain is if he couldn't feel it at all."

Spencer tried to keep back a groan when he heard his phone ringing again. He reached into

his pocket and quickly ignored the call.

"Must take a major toll on someone's emotional development," Rossi commented.

Spencer's phone started to ring again.

"A significant contributor to our sense of empathy is the way we personally experience pain,"

Derek pointed out, watching as Spencer quickly reached into his pocket to silence his phone.

"And the unsub didn't develop his sense of empathy because it was cut off. Does every person with asymbolia have this?" Hotch asked, looking to Spencer.

"Actually, most feel empathy just fine, which makes me think the rest of our profile is still accurate. Loner, invisible, outcast," Spencer listed as his phone began to ring again. "Boiling rage- Son of a bitch!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, only this time he answered. "Hi! This is Doctor Spencer Reid. I actually CAN come to the phone right now with a very special message that your mother is a-"

"Reid!" Hotch quickly cut him off.

"Sorry. I'm really sorry," Spencer mumbled as he hung up the phone, turning it off once again and put it back in his pocket.

Derek had to bite his cheek and turn his head away from Spencer to fight back the laugh and the grin that wanted to escape over Spencer's behavior. No one besides him had seen the young genius act like this.

"I don't know- I don't know what got into me. Where were we?" he asked as he ran a hand through his hair then quickly rubbed his head, trying to fight back a headache.

"I'm gonna have Garcia check medical records. Uh, what causes asymbolia?" Hotch asked.

Spencer licked his lips and glanced over at Derek, before turning back to Hotch. "Severe trauma produces lesions in the insular cortex, usually after a stroke. But this unsub's so young, it's most likely caused by an external factor."

"Like a bomb going off next to him?" Rossi asked.

"Yeah, like a bomb going off next to him," Spencer repeated, glaring at Derek. Derek looked back at him with a smirk on his face.

Hotch rolled his eyes at the pair and walked off to call Garcia.

Spencer looked away from Derek and leaned forward on the table, collecting the case files and other reports. "I will crush you," he mumbled.

Derek raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"What?" Spencer looked away from him and made his way back towards the evidence boards.

Rossi smirked and turns towards Derek. "I've never seen him react like that before."

Derek finally let himself grin. "I'm surprised he did that in front of you guys. When he gets pissed, he gets _pissed_. I think he's reached his boiling point."

"I would think so. All according to your plan right?"

Derek chuckled and nodded.

"I'd watch yourself though," Rossi warned.

"I can watch myself. Don't worry, Rossi."

* * *

JJ was able to discover that the list was the 'Top 10', the 10 students chosen by Principal Givens that went on all the media tours. They were able to realize the unsub was targeting them because while he was an outcast, being a survivor should've been his ticket into the clique.

After Garcia had overlapped the medical files and the student files, they were able to find their unsub: a man named Robert Adams. He had set off a bomb at the Seven Stars restaurant where the 'Top 10', who he was holding hostage, were having their own little reunion since the vigil had been cancelled.

They were able to talk him down before he took any more victims. They had chased him to the boiler room, but when he went to attack them, Hotch was forced to shoot.

They wrapped up the case and made their way home. The community decided to go through with the vigil now that the unsub had been caught.

The flight home was quiet and peaceful. Hotch was sitting near the back of the cabin, finishing up the case files.

Spencer continued to ignore Derek when he took a seat next to Rossi at the table, and Derek was near the window with Emily next to him.

Derek had been listening to his iPod, his usual post case routine, when suddenly the music cut out and he heard Spencer's voice.

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled musical selection with an important announcement," Derek heard as he looked over at Spencer, who was leaning to the side of his chair, book hugged to his chest and looking to be asleep.

"Never wage a practical joke war against an MIT graduate because we have a history of going nuclear," the messaged continued. Derek tried changing the song, but the message wouldn't go away. "Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the dulcet sounds of me screaming in your ear." Derek winced and ripped off the headphones as Spencer's recording started screaming.

He ignored the strange look from Emily as he glared lightly at Spencer.

"Okay, kid, that was cute. But that's all you got?" The only response he got was a fake snore from Spencer and he rolled his eyes as his phone began to ring. He looked at the caller ID and answered. "Hey, baby girl-" he was cut off as Spencer's recorded scream continued.

Rossi looked between the two. Spencer was feigning sleep, but was obviously trying to keep to himself from laughing as a grin appeared on his face. Rossi picked up the white napkin in front of him and waved it for them.

Derek shook his head. "Nah. Spence, it's on now." The only reply he got was another fake snore. "Just know that paybacks are bitch."

Spencer opened his eyes and looked over at Derek, still smiling. "You always say that, but you have yet to act on it. I don't think you know what it means."

Emily shook her head and smiled at the two of them as she got up and made her way to Hotch.

"Just keep it out of the case this time?" Rossi requested, looking at the two.

"I'm not the one who got Garcia involved," Spencer explained as he lifted his feet, resting them on Emily's now vacant seat and smirking at Derek's surprised face.

"Damn it."

* * *

Derek was slightly surprised to see Garcia at the airstrip when the jet landed. "What are you doing here, Baby Girl?" he asked.

She didn't say anything until Spencer had gotten off the jet and made his way over to her.

"Hand me your phone, Boy Wonder," she ordered, holding her hand out for it.

Raising an eyebrow, Spencer remained silent as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, placing it in her hand.

The rest of the team had come up behind them and remained silent as they all watched Garcia play around with both phones. After a minute or two, she handed Spencer back his phone and threw the other one back in her bag.

"So, what exactly did Derek ask you to do?" JJ asked.

"Easily little switcheroo. I switched out Reid's SIM card with one of the disposable ones I keep around in case of, well, things. That way he didn't have to get a new number," Garcia explained.

"I wasn't exactly sure of how my plan was going to pan out, or if it was even going to work at all. The media circus in front of the Slade home just worked in my advantage," Derek explained to the rest of them.

"You are so lucky," Spencer mumbled, giving Derek a small glare as he shoved his phone back in his pocket.

"What exactly did you do to my iPod and phone, Pretty Boy?"

"Wait, Spencer got you back?" Garcia asked, looking between the two of them.

A grin spread over Spencer's face. "A lot of people seem to forget my engineering degree. I played around with the wiring that can easily be fixed."

"I'll find something to get you back," Derek warned as he wrapped an arm around Spencer's

waist.

Spencer snorted. "Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that."

The two of them were completely oblivious to the smiles that the team were giving them.

"Now my other reason for being here is I think we need a team dinner," Garcia announced, making eye contact with every one of them.

"I agree!" Rossi said, smiling. "I'll offer my mansion once again."

"Tomorrow night seems like a good idea," Hotch pointed out. Everyone looked around and they agreed.

"Great. See you all tomorrow."


End file.
